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The hell am I doin' here? They ain't gonna let me in. Shoulda got her damn number, instead of buggin' her at work.
Daryl was about to turn around and walk back to his truck, parked just outside the gates to the plantation, when the Asian security guard who had relayed his request go up to see Aisling received a crackling message on his walkie talkie. "Go on up, they're by the farmhouse. You know the way?"
Daryl nodded and walked up the road towards the house where there were lots of people with equipment hanging around outside.
"Daryl!" he heard her call his name. He spotted her waving at him from the porch of the farmhouse, and she walked quickly over towards him. She was wearing that same long dress she'd worn on the open day, and her hair was disheveled, with dirt smudged on her cheek and forehead.
"You been fightin'?" he asked, pointing to her hand which was scratched and caked with dried blood.
"I have! Looks good, doesn't it!" she said, holding it up for him to admire "I've been kicking Andy's arse all morning."
As she said his name Andy came out of the cottage, looking rather beaten up himself, rolled his eyes and walked off quickly in the direction of the trailers across the yard. "He still bein' a prick?" Daryl asked, nodding at him.
Aisling nodded, then shrugged "It makes punching him easier."
Remembering why he was here, Daryl cleared his throat and adjusted his feet nervously. "You got plans for the holiday?"
It took a moment for Aisling to realize what he meant. To her, a holiday was what he would call a vacation. It was the end of June and the conversation on set had been about the 4th July celebrations, bringing with them a handful of party invitations. She guessed that this was what Daryl was referring to, and shook her head. "Haven't decided what to do. Why?"
Shaun had quizzed Daryl about the burglary that morning at work, asking how Aisling was and if there was anything he could do?
"Why don't you bring her along on Friday?" Shaun was hosting his and Corinne's usual 4th July get-together at their house, with food, music and fireworks.
"She's probably got plans already" Daryl huffed, and went back to screwing a new oil filter onto the Ford he was underneath.
"Won't know 'til you ask" Shaun replied.
That was how Daryl came to be at the plantation, focusing on the trees beside him rather than look at Aisling, asking as casually as he was able to, "Wanna come to my friend Shaun's house w'me? He's doin' some party shit."
He looked down at her to gauge her reaction and let out a small sigh of relief when he saw her smile.
"Party shit sounds good."
He gave a small nod and stood there for a moment, not sure what to say next. "Sorry for botherin' you here... I'd have called but I don't have your number."
"You aren't bothering me. Give me your phone." she held her hand out and he gave her a confused look before handing his old battered phone to her. She tapped at the screen quickly for a few moments and handed it back to him,"Now you have my number."
TWDTWDTWDTWD
Aisling was never more ready to relax and let her hair down as she was on Friday. It had been a sweltering week, filled with more physical activity than she'd felt able for in the heat. Her character Ellen had been thrown by a horse, fought with Andy's character Aiden lots, and been chased across a field in the dark. She'd tripped and fallen many times shooting that scene, leaving her bruised and exhausted.
She wore a blue sundress with little white triangles all over it, a pair of flat white sandals, and left her long hair down. She looked at herself in the mirror and twisted around to see as much of her body as she could. Bruises all covered. She wasn't sure what everyone else would be wearing, but her career had given Aisling the confidence to know what suited her, and to wear what she wanted.
Growing up, her Mum's constant 'helpful suggestions' had worn her down and made her feel self-conscious when meeting people. As far as her mother was concerned, everyone was watching and their opinion mattered. When a teenaged Aisling turned up at events in sneakers with a vintage dress, or Doc Martins and a tutu, her Mum would glare at her before pulling her to one side and asking if she wanted everyone to laugh at them? If she really wanted everyone to think that she was ridiculous?
Everything that Aisling did was open to scrutiny, from her clothes, to her laugh, and even though her Mum peddled her criticism as 'love', Aisling didn't feel very loved.
It was only when she began working and forging her own way in the world that Aisling began to realise that she really didn't give a flying fuck what other people thought.
One or two neurosis she'd instilled still hung around, but Aisling had largely grown up, and left her Mum's second hand maladjustments behind.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
When Shaun welcomed them at his door he clasped a strong arm around her shoulders and said that he was happy to finally meet her. He was perhaps in his early forties, short dark hair sprinkled with gray around his temples, and kind blue eyes. His wife Corinne had been less reserved, grabbing Aisling's hand and pulling her into the kitchen, thanking her for the gifts of Irish Whiskey, a pack of Georgia craft beers, and a tray of patriotically decorated cupcakes she'd picked up from a bakery recommended by friends.
Daryl wished that he'd thought to bring something else along other than the Canola oil that Shaun had asked him to bring in a text that morning, because he'd forgotten to get more and Corinne was worried that they would run out. He felt slightly ashamed as he realized that he had always been a shitty guest, and made a mental note not to turn up to things empty handed again.
If Aisling was nervous about being thrust into a large group of people she didn't know, she didn't show it at all. She shook hands with people, smiling broadly, making sure to ask their name. Shaun's dad, Patrick, was especially taken with her. She sat on a seat in front of his wheelchair as they talked about his beloved Wexford that he'd left as a child, and Daryl watched the old man's eyes light up as they talked about filming 'Wild Geese' and why Georgia had been chosen as the location.
"Got a good one there, Daryl" Chuck said quietly as he stood next to him and opened a beer.
"Just a friend" he replied, nodding at Aisling and giving her a little half smile as her eyes caught his across the yard. She was enthusiastically admiring the red, white and blue ribbons in Paige's hair, as the little girl climbed up into her Grandpa's lap in his chair, and asked if Paige could help her get her own hair so pretty?
"Doesn't have to be like that though, Daryl" Shaun said from his other side, watching the actress bend her head down so that Paige could braid a section of her long dark hair. He'd seen how they looked at each other, and the glances they stole when they didn't think that the other was looking. It brought back memories of when he first met Corinne, the clever, beautiful college student, and how the friends he stood with now had watched them both exchange those same glances and tried to persuade him to do something about it.
He'd been too afraid to do anything for weeks, thinking that as soon as he did she would bolt and he would be proved right, that she couldn't possibly want him. But he had made a move, one night as he dropped her back to her dorm after a movie, and since that night he knew he wanted no other lips on his.
Shaun wanted his unassured, brooding friend than for him to find that same kind of connection. Daryl's life had been hard, and so damaging. He deserved happiness, and this pretty, sparkling woman was the only person he'd ever seen bring him close to that.
"She's goin' in September," Daryl sighed beside him, taking a drink of the whiskey that Aisling had brought. "In too deep as it is. How the hell am I supposed to handle it when she goes?" Chuck looked at Shaun behind Daryl's back, his eyebrows shooting up at his friend's uncharacteristic openness.
"I dunno," Shaun replied, honestly "but how you gonna feel if she goes and you've done nothin'?"
Daryl swirled the amber liquid in his glass before he downed it and shook his head. "Ain't used to this. Too many damn feelins'."
Aisling helped Corinne in with all the plates after everyone had eaten. Paige tagged along, happy that Aisling had given her the special job of carrying the ketchup and mustard.
"Are you going to marry Uncle Daryl?" Paige asked, making Corinne grin and Aisling splutter. "Why do you ask that, Princess Paige?" she asked, watching through the kitchen window as Daryl held a giggling Stevie upside down by his ankles, threatening to dip his head in imaginary dog poop.
"He's never brought a lady to our house before, and when my Uncle Charlie brought a lady to our house they got married, and I got to carry flowers."
Aisling stole a glance at Corinne, who was smiling as she stacked the plates in the dishwasher.
"I bet you were the prettiest girl there. Tell me, were the flowers beautiful?"
Paige told Aisling all about the flowers, and dresses, and how she had to get up really early for a lady to put her hair up in a fancy way.
"Nice deflection," Corinne leaned over and whispered with a grin as Paige showed Aisling how nicely she'd walked in the church when her Uncle got married. Aisling rolled her eyes jokingly and went to carry the train of Paige's imaginary dress as she walked back outside to show how she would walk when she got maried to her classmate Mikey when she was older.
The day grew dark and Shaun went with his nephew Conor to set up the fireworks at the far end of the yard.
"Having fun?" Aisling's soft voice came from beside Daryl as he stood on the porch and he looked down at her with one of his little half smiles. "S'been ok, yeah. You?"
She nodded and shivered slightly in the chill of the evening. Daryl, emboldened slightly by whiskey and the dull ache he'd felt in his stomach when Shaun asked how he'd feel if she left without him ever doing anything, reached out his arm and gently wrapped it around Aisling's shoulders. "C'mere" he said gruffly and pulled her close to his side.
The butterflies in both their bellies at that moment caused each of them to flush slightly. Aisling leaned her head against Daryl's shoulder, enjoying the weight of his muscular arm around her. "Thank you for inviting me here, Daryl. I've had such a lovely day." She tilted her head slightly to smile up at him. "Haven't seen much of you," he said, giving her one of those little half smiles she loved so much "They've been keepin' you all to themselves."
Neither of them noticed Chuck nudging Corinne and nodding his head over towards the two standing quietly on the porch. Corinne stifled a little happy squeal, then pulled her phone out from her pants pocket and went round to the front of the porch.
"Smile!" she said brightly, and held the phone up to take a picture. Daryl groaned and Aisling felt his arm tense around her shoulders. He clearly hated being photographed. Aisling tried wiggling her fingers lightly at his waist, in an attempt to tickle a smile out of him, but the most he could muster was a pursed lip half smirk. It was better than the glower he'd had aimed at her a moment before, so Corinne was happy and took the picture.
Aisling asked Corinne to send it to her and gave her number. A moment later her phone pinged to let her know that it had arrived, so she took out her phone and held it out for both her and Daryl to see. He leaned forward slightly to look, his arm still around her shoulders, and gave a quiet shudder.
"Look like a prick" he grunted.
"I thought I looked alright in it, actually" Aisling deadpanned, staring up into his face. Daryl's eyes widened for a moment in alarm, then he relaxed as he realized that she was teasing him again.
"Y'knew what I meant" he smiled, nudging her hip. "Don't know why you'd want a picture with me in it."
"It's good to capture moments. I'd love to photograph you, but I know you'd say no."
Daryl looked at her like she'd suggested he strip off and do a little dance. "Hell no. Always hated being photographed."
"I figured. What about Merle?"
"Does Merle like being photographed?" He was confused. Why did she want to know Merle's feelings on having his photograph taken?
"I'd like to shoot him. Not, shoot him shoot him. Photograph him, I mean. I've been thinking about asking him for a while now." Aisling stared off into the distance, half watching Shaun prepare to light the fireworks and thinking about the photographs of Merle that she'd like to take.
Daryl pulled back from her slightly and looked at her askance "What the hell you wanna take photos of Merle's ugly ass face for?"
"He has an interesting face" she shrugged. "Will you ask him?"
"Even though he's been a jackass to you? You still wanna take his picture?"
Aisling shrugged. "I don't have to be friends with someone to take their photo. If anything, it might be interesting if I'm still pissed off at him."
He wasn't sure how he felt about Aisling wanting to photograph his brother, but Daryl agreed to ask Merle if he would pose for her. She thanked him, and as the fireworks started to go off she slipped her arm around his waist and they watched them together, pulling each other close.
By 1AM everyone had said their goodbyes and Aisling was sitting with Daryl on a bench by the firepit, only Chuck, Corinne and Shaun left. He'd taken his arm away when they'd moved there, but Aisling was happy that he sat close to her, his fingers occasionally touching hers as everyone talked.
He finished his glass of whiskey and stood up, stretching his arms above his head, offering Aisling a delicious view of the tanned skin of his lower back that was revealed as his t-shirt rode up.
Please let him kiss me tonight. Please let him kiss me. Please.
"Gotta get Aisling home" he said, turning to her and holding up his car keys.
"Uh-uh, mister" Corinne interrupted, firmly "You've had too much to drink. You can stay here tonight, I'll drive Aisling home."
Daryl's face fell, but he quickly recovered with a shrug and muttered "Whatever". He sat back down and looked sullenly at the fire. Aisling's hand crept over and found his, squeezing gently "Thank you for today" she whispered close to his ear, then stood up and said goodbye to everyone before she followed Corinne through the house and out to her car.
Daryl was pissed. He watched her leave, thinking about how much he'd wanted to kiss her. He'd talked himself up and had decided that tonight was the night, and he was going to do it when he dropped her home. Taste those lips of hers, feel how soft they were. Of course, he'd fucked everything up by drinking too much and now she was with Corinne, and he was angry with himself.
"Going to bed" he grunted and went into the house, where he lay on the sofa and closed his eyes, wishing he was better at all this.
TWDTWDTWDTWD
"You had a good time?" Corinne asked, looking at Aisling as she stared dreamily out the passenger side window.
"I had a great time, Corinne. Thank you so much for having me." She really did have a great day, meeting everyone, playing with Paige… having Daryl's arm around her.
"Okay, so… let's cut to the chase here, Aisling. You and Daryl? What's going on?" Corinne couldn't contain herself a second longer, and Aisling laughed at her enthusiasm for the pair's romantic destiny. "I'm sorry, I know I'm being blunt, but this is Daryl and… well, this is uncharted territory we're talking about."
Aisling sighed, leaning her head against the window and looking across at Corinne. "Honestly? I haven't got a clue what's going on. Normally… in my life, we'd be past this and things would be happening… but with Daryl…" she trailed off.
"Do you like him?" Corinne asked, seriously.
"Yeah, I do. More than I should, probably. I mean, we haven't even kissed. I thought maybe tonight… but..."
"But I'm driving you home?" Corinne winced "Sorry. He really had far too much to be able to drive though."
"I know… I know… And thank you for that, I am grateful."
"But… you wish it was Daryl and not me?"
Aisling nodded, and giggled. "That obvious, huh?"
Corinne glanced over to her and smiled, then leaned across and patted her knee lightly "Shaun and I were the same. Took us forever to get together, but it happened."
"Really?" Aisling was surprised. "You two seem like the 'love at first sight' kind?"
"Oh, we were" Corinne laughed, "just took us about six months to finally admit it, honey. So don't go writin' Daryl off, ok? Give him time."
"I'm going home in September. What if he never does anything?"
Corinne swallowed hard, then shot Aisling a firm look "What I'm about to say goes no further, ok?"
Aisling nodded, wondering what on earth this woman was about to tell her. Part of her wanted to tell her to shut up and not say anything, the other part was all ears.
"You know about Daryl's daddy?"
"I know he was a bit of a bastard, yeah."
"He was more than a bit, Aisling. He was a full blown, lifetime membership, portrait in the 'Hall of Bastards' bastard. Used to whip the boys silly, especially after their Mom died. And Merle… well, I'm sure you know already that he's not someone you'd want to leave responsible for the welfare of a child..."
Aisling nodded slowly, something of the horror of Daryl's childhood dawning on her.
"Everyone that was ever meant to love him, hurt him," Corinne continued, "His Momma died, his Daddy beat him, Merle left him I don't know how many times, when he should'a been protecting him. Is it any wonder he has a hard time allowing people in? Giving people the power to hurt him again?"
It all made sense.
"So, Aisling..." Corinne eyed her sideways and took a deep breath "Do you think you've got it in you to give him a chance, let him muddle his way through this thing you've got goin'? Cause if you don't, you should back off right now. He's been through enough."
Aisling took a deep breath and looked at Corinne "Is that me being warned off?"
"No, honey, it's not. It's me askin' you to spare him the hurt if your heart ain't in this as much as I think his is."
Neither of them said anything for a while, until the car pulled in at Aisling's driveway and Corinne turned to face her. "Look, I like you. You're good for him. Just don't hurt him, that's all I'm askin'."
Aisling nodded. What Corinne made sense, and she was glad that Daryl had someone looking out for his interests as voraciously as his friend's wife was, but she felt as though she'd been reprimanded for something that she hadn't done, and her heckles were slightly raised.
"I'm not sure what you know about me, or who you think I am, but I am not in the habit of going around treating men like crap, just for shits and giggles."
It took a lot of courage for her to say it to the woman who could potentially have been her friend, but she wanted to stand up for herself. Years of blindly accepting criticism had left her unwilling to let it stand when it was leveled at her unwarranted.
Corinne's eyes grew wide and she pushed her long auburn hair out of her face in frustration "No, no honey, I didn't mean that. Don't think I meant that," she pleaded, gently. "We both care about him, right?" Aisling nodded in reply "So all I'm sayin' is, treat him right. I don't know anything about you, but from what I've seen you're a real nice girl that I'd like to be friends with, and I reckon you'd be perfect for Daryl. I want you two to be together."
Aisling breathed a sigh of relief. "Are you offering yourself up as relationship counselor then, when I get all angsty and fraught?"
Corinne grinned "Course I am, honey. I'm here for the long haul, whenever you want. Now, go in and get some sleep… you've had a rough week by the sounds of it."
TWDTWDTWD
Aisling poured herself a glass of wine and sat staring at the wall in front of her.
She'd had relationships that had taken a while to get off the ground, but they'd never been so tied up with so many emotions. Corinne's pep talk had reminded her of a Yeats poem, so she dug a book from the pile she'd brought with her and read.
"I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams"
She laid her head back on the sofa, took another sip of wine and exhaled slowly.
Why is this all so fucking complicated?