A/N: Sorry for the long update. Will be updating by the end of this week though.

Chapter Nine

A Traumatic Experience

Dean's staring at Castiel as he's sleeping on his bed. Dean sighs softly, slipping on his jacket as he gently closes the door. He turns off the light and walks out the door, locking it behind him. Upon driving back to his condo, Dean remembers today's events. The other's trembling hold. The stifled sobs. Dean shakes his head vigorously before he turns on the radio, trying to clear his mind.

But as Dean sees his condo in view, he drives past it. Dean curses under his breath as he drives towards Roché Industries. He knew he was the last person Balthazar wanted to see, and Dean couldn't help having a mutual feeling either, but he needed his advice.

Dean slams the door to Impala shut before he makes his way to the building. He's stopped once he makes it to the front desk. But after making such a huge racket, Balthazar lets Dean into his office.

"Make it quick, Dean. I don't have your time. And if you're trying to convince me to stop the trial again, I will call -"

"Shut up, Balthazar," Dean snaps back quickly. "That's not why I came here for."

That catches the Englishman's attention. He sits down on his chair, waiting for the other to continue.

Dean's silent for a moment, rubbing his jaw. "Balthazar, it's about Cas -"

"As I thought," he interrupts, rolling his eyes.

"Let me finish!" Dean answers. "Cas, he told me what happened to him years ago."

Balthazar quirks a brow, not comprehending what the other was talking about. "That's a bit ambiguous."

"With his father," Dean clarifies.

Balthazar looks up at Dean in surprise. He slowly raises from his chair and turns to look at the window. "So, Castiel told you."

"Yes," Dean replies.

"Why did he tell you?" Balthazar questions, turning to stare at Dean.

"He received a package in the mail today. It was from Anna. And she wants to see Cas. Cas, when he read it, he lost it and broke down," Dean explains.

Balthazar sighs in annoyance as he rubs his nose. "I thought I blocked any mails from them," he whispers silently. "They must've used a fake name. Or someone else's."

"Balthazar, why did Cas's father abuse him?" he asks.

Balthazar snaps at Dean, turning to glare at him. "Are you an idiot or what? Castiel told you the story! Castiel's mum died giving birth to him. His father really loved Lolita. And when she died, he barely snapped. And for years, he blamed a child for killing his beloved. He was hanging on by a thread, Dean! A thread! When Castiel mentioned her, Foltern, he, he, just snapped!" Balthazar explains, waving his arms crazedly.

Dean stares at Balthazar silently, unsure what he should say. "How long did Cas suffer?" he asks.

Balthazar groans softly as he tries to recount the time. "I used to remember the date, but after the years, I've forgotten. It was during the summer of 1999. My father came to visit his ex-stepbrother and took me along. I immediately befriended Castiel since he was the least irritating. And that's when I found out Foltern's dirty little secret," he explains.

"How did you find out?" Dean asks.

"I had brought Castiel this shirt he always wanted. And he was so excited he had forgotten that he still had bruises on him. When he took of his shirt, god it was like looking at a spoiled banana, the bruises were dark. Really dark," he answered. "He begged me not to tell anyone, but I told my father. My father threatened to tell social services if Foltern didn't let my father take him from him. God, I've never seen Castiel cry so much since that day," Balthazar finishes.

Dean rubs his arm silently as he looks at the ground. He had subtracted Castiel's birthday and 1999. And what he calculated horrified him. Nearly eleven years Cas had to endure his father's beatings. Dean didn't know how he managed to stay alive for such a long time. And yet, Castiel could always manage a smile and laugh like nothing has ever happened to him.

"Painful, isn't it?" Balthazar asks, arms crossed.

Dean nods his head slowly. "Castiel's mom was your aunt?" he asks.

"Yeah. Though Lolita didn't want anyone to know she was related to Roché Industries because she knew how money ran."

"So, she changed it to Novak?" Dean guessed.

"My grandmother's maiden name," he answered, nodding his head. "For years I've been protecting Castiel from that man. And I've managed to keep him safe for ten years. Do you know how much it pains him to even let someone hold him? Hell, I have never hugged Castiel. Wait, lie, I hugged him when he wouldn't stop crying. He hates touching, Dean. And if he's allowed to you to even do that, then it's a miracle."

Dean's silent for a moment, unsure what to say to Balthazar. Castiel had allowed him to touch him since their first date. Was he ever afraid of him whenever he laid a finger on him? Dean rubs his arm silently.

Balthazar watches the other, who looks like a wounded puppy. "Oh, cheer up, mate," he says. "I don't like this side of you. Please, don't let Castiel know I went over this with you. He'll be...heavily affected by it then."

"You've been taking care of him for ten years?"

"Thirteen. I've always been there for Cassie. He's been through enough. So Dean, I am begging you, if you are not serious with him, then please tell me now. And I will end this trial. I don't want to see him get hurt again."

"Then why put me through this trial to begin with?" he asked.

"I thought it was a good idea at first. But as the days progressed, I realized my mistake. And it was too late to stop it because he had already... Dean, I don't want to pressure you in your final decision, but please."

Dean stares at Balthazar silently, fear gnawing at him. "I'll have it figured out by the end of the trial."

"Will you, really? The trial ends in less than three weeks. Do you even have it figured out?" Balthazar counters.

Less than three weeks already? Dean's chest rises and falls heavily as he stares at the other with a firm nod. He didn't know who yet, but he'll figure it out. He hoped.

Dean killed the ignition as he got out of his car. He walked up the steps before he comes in view of the door. He knocks silently. The door swings open and Lisa steps out. She wraps her robe tightly as he stares at Dean.

"Dean, what're you doing here?" she asks.

Dean's silent as he stares at the ground.

"Are you all right, Dean?" she whispers silently, seeing his expression.

Dean says nothing. He moves forward and wraps his arms around her, resting his head against her neck. Lisa's surprised by the action, but says nothing against it. She sighs softly as she soothes Dean.

Lisa sets a cup of coffee beside Dean, standing behind him. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asks.

Dean shakes his head. "No, I'm sure."

"Whatever's gnawing at you, it's sure doing a good job in depressing you."

"Lisa, please," Dean whispers.

She's silent for a moment before she sits in the chair beside Dean. She takes his hand and rubs circles on it. "Is this about Cas, Dean?" she questions silently.

Dean's silent, unwilling to reveal his problems, but his expression said it all.

Lisa knew immediately and she sighs softly. "You know, you can always talk to me about it. But if you don't, then -"

"Lisa, I just want to stay here without being persecuted. Please," Dean interrupts.

Lisa's stunned for a moment before she recovers. "I understand, Dean. I'm sorry."