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chapter 10!

Emily

She promised. She wouldn't lie to me moments after making unbelievably good love to each other; she especially wouldn't lie to me whilst she was lying in my arms stroking her hands up and down them, people don't do that, Naomi wouldn't do that. So then why hadn't she broken up with Ian yet? She said it herself she didn't love him, it was just comfort, he was there at the right time. Everything was just so fucking confusing right now.

'Emily, you're going to have to stop thinking so much... your kissing is seriously lacking' I'm pulled out of my thoughts by the blonde who's now smirking down at me, did I mention whilst having all these thoughts Naomi's tongue was currently rammed down my throat as we watched daytime television, probably not.

'sorry, just blanked out for a second' I whisper to her, and lightly graze my hands over her long legs resting over mine on the couch, she reciprocates and put's her hand over mine, I turn my head to see her smiling straight at me and then her lips smirk once more

'Blanked out or I'm just an amazing kisser?' I laugh and close my both hands around her cheeks pulling her in for another kiss 'now I agree on the last option' I murmur through kisses and she starts to giggle which makes both of our faces lightly vibrate.

Pulling away she snuggled herself more into my body, and sent me a light smile before returning her eyes back to the TV on one of those 'home revamp' shows, I'm not really a big fan but she likes them and if she likes them, I like them for her.

While a gayer than me man appears on screen discussing the different types of violet shades you can chose for wall paper, my thoughts slip back into my head, I feel like we're together, you know like a proper couple and all? Friends don't cuddle together on a couch and have random make out's whenever the adverts come on. We must be together, well apart from when we're around Kelly, Katie or actually anyone for that matter, and then it's just longing looks and sneaky text messages.

I should stop letting this bother me, I'm being stupid, of course I am, I should be thankful right now, her next to me, looking so peaceful and happier, the happiest I've seen her since, well ages. I should just bring it up and get it out of my head, nothing to harsh just a breezy little hint to get the conversation started.

'We slept together 3 days ago' smooth Emily, real smooth.

I clamped my eyes shut, and pretty sure if Naomi weren't on my free arm my hands would be slapping over my eyes too, I don't see her reaction but I hear her body shifting and can sense that her eyes are now burning into my embarrassed face, in one swift movement her palm is cupping my cheeks and she begins to lightly giggle again.

Opening my eyes sensing my utter stupidity mustn't of been that bad she continues to giggle 'Yeah I remember, I was there too you know?' she says with amused confusion whilst looking into my eyes, but my stare on her remains deadly serious, not even cracking a smile.

Suddenly her smirk drops when she see's my face and she slightly tugs away from me 'this is what's bothering you isn't it?' she asks focusing her eyes back onto the TV acting as if this isn't a big issue right now. When I don't answer again she runs her hands through her hair and takes a deep breath 'I'm sorry Emily, I should of known it was too soon and-'

I cut off her instantly 'No Naomi, Jesus it's not that! That was truly amazing' I state whilst reaching over and stroking my hands up and down her back.

She turns her head and sends me a weak smile, scooting back over and merging into me once more, her head on my chest and her warm breath leaving chills on my skin 'then what is it then?' she asks so insecurely and I can't stop my hands from playing with her hair.

'Kind of the thing you said after it' she looked up at me confused and to be honest yes I was kind of vague, so I decide to elaborate on it 'you'd break up with Ian' I say quietly because I don't want to look like the pushy bunny boiler that forces people to do things. She takes a deep breath and looks up at me, lifting her head from my chest.

'I am Emily' she replies quietly

'It's been three days Naomi' I say, no anger in my voice, just wanting to get straight to the point

'And I haven't seen him since the club, so I haven't had the chance' she reason and I just scoff at her

'There is an invention called the phone you know?' I say sitting up more in my seat and she moves her body away from me, copying my actions.

'Over the phone? Even I'm not that mean Emily' I can't help but agree with her, I mean I'd be completely and utter devastated if someone like Naomi dumped me over the phone, I've got to stop putting my own selfish fucking need in front of everyone else's.

'You're right, I'm sorry' deep breath 'I just hate the thought of you and hi-'

'Emily, it's not like I'm cheating on you with him' she says cutting me off and turning back to the television again, her acting like this conversation isn't serious is really pissing me off.

'Well you have cheated before, what's to say you won't again?' I blurt out, only this time my arms are free to sling the hand over my mouth, before I have time to tell her I didn't mean it and that I'm just stressed, she's up off the couch and pacing up and down the room

'Nao-'

'Just piss off, why don't you break in to another university and find someone else to lie to' she spits at me and the room goes silent, she stops pacing and I stop trying to apologise.

She's never going to let this lie go is she? And I can't be bothered to get into an argument right now, being the bigger woman, I pick my bag up off the floor, standing up I smooth my skirt down with my hands and head for the door.

Naomi just stares at me, doesn't move and remains silent whilst her eyes watch me 'Emily...'

'I better get back to college' I mutter whilst making my way closer to the door, she starts to walk towards me 'I thought you were staying with me all day?' ignoring her I slam the door behind me and walk away.

College didn't seem that much appealing to me at the moment, so as soon as I entered the building and cook bounced towards me offering a piss up, I nicely accepted his offer, I got a few looks off the group basically asking me what the fuck I was doing but I was too focused on Cooks description of how fucked up were going to get that I actually couldn't give a fuck listening to them.

'Seriously, this was your wild plan, fucking Uncle Keith's pub?!' I say to cook whilst we make our way over to the bar, he just does that classic smile of his and pulls out a stool for me 'and a seat for the lady' he says and then plonks himself on the one next to me.

'Might not seem much babe, but know anywhere else were we can get free unlimited drinks?'

'Well in that case, I'll have 10 shots' I say smirking at cook and he slams his hands against the bar 'fuck yeah girl!' he screams then shouts the barmaid over. She comes over laying 10 straight shots of vodka out in front of me and cook; he picks up the first shot and puts it in my hand.

'Looking a bit down today babe' he says

'No talking, just drinking' i state

Half a hour later and a serious amount of alcohol intake I'm using cook as a shoulder to cry on as I blab about Naomi and how perfect she is and how much of a twat I am for always screwing everything up.

'she's amazing, just so amazing, the most amazingest person ever, complete perfection' I'm slightly drunk still talking about Naomi, and obviously using made up words on the way whilst cook chugs down the pint of larger he got 2 seconds ago.

'You must really like this girl man' he says wiping his mouth on his dirty sleeves and I look at him amused.

'What makes you say that?' he laughs

'Well she doesn't just sound like a shag then'

'No!' I scream at him and he jumps a bit 'I could just be with her forever without even shagging her' I comment dreamily and cook starts to look at me up and down, raised eyebrow.

'Seriously?' he asks and I look him dead in the eye

'Deadly' I hiccup whilst reaching my clumsy hands out to grab another shot, downing it he starts to laugh again and I face him, face full of confusion

'Well fuck me red, I think you've found a keeper' I smile at him sadly, he must notice this so he tries to keep the happy conversation going.

'Tell me about Blondie then' he says whilst licking the paper of his rolled up ciggie 'I already know I'd definitely give her one' he finishes whilst jokingly grabbing his crotch, I smack the ciggie out of his hand but he catches it before it hits the floor.

'Well she's...' I start hesitating at first but then it all comes out so naturally 'beautiful, I mean seriously beautiful' he nods agreeing and I continue 'she's passionate about everything, I've never seen anyone talk about something with so much passion like her, I almost fucking envy how confident she is, and how she's always right' once I start I can't stop 'her smile, fuck me it's everything you'd want someone's smile to be, breathtaking, just fucking so right, and her eyes, have you seen her eyes? I feel like a better person with just looking into them' I pause and I can see him smirking at me from the corner, suddenly my face drops to sadness again and I sign

'and she's got a boyfriend' I say closing my eyes, expecting cook to laugh at me and tell me that I've got no chance and that she's just using me with some fucked up logic, but nothing silence, until I hear his pint glass being put down on the bar.

'Well what makes you deserve her more than him?' he says simply and I look up at him

'Because...'

Why do I deserve her more? I've never really thought about it like that, why do you fucking deserve her Emily, why the fuck do you deserve someone like that? You've been chasing her for long enough and now you don't even have an answer to this simple question, go on answer it.

'Because I love her' I say simply, even surprising myself with my unconscious answer

Cook smiles at me, the kind of smile teachers do when they've just asked you a terrifying hard question and you got it right in front of someone really important, was he testing me? He was fucking testing me.

'Oh god, I love her' I repeat to myself 'I fucking love her!' I shout and people around the pub start to look at me.

Getting off the stool, and reaching for my bag, I start to stumble towards the door and cook grabs my shoulder 'where you going?' he eyes me with suspicion, I lean in leaving a light kiss to his cheek before wrenching his arm from my shoulder.

'I have to tell her' I reason with him and he raises his eyebrow

'Are you sure that the best thing to do, you know with you being half cut?'

'I'll be fine' I say to him 'I need to go'

Staggering to Naomi's flat, I lift my weak arm and excessively pound my fists against her door, suddenly this reminds me of the time she wouldn't even let me in, usually I'd be stood outside here for hours just waiting and waiting for some fucking hope.

'Emily?' I hear her ask confused, which cuts me from my thought and I try and focus my eyes on the girl in front of me, and there she is, leaning confused against the door frame and eyeing my body up and down.

'Naomi!' I shout throwing her a massive grin and clinging her in a weak hug; she hugs back before pulling herself back and looking into my eyes

'Are you drunk?' she asks, full of concern.

'No of course not' I lie, then start giggling uncontrollably, she smirks at me with a raised eyebrow then I remember what I came here to tell her.

'oh right' I shout and she jumps at the forcefulness of it, and I can't help but laugh again, controlling myself I clear my throat 'Naomi I came to tell you something' I say putting on my most serious voice and she just looks kind of amused.

'Okay' she says slowly, nodding her head and smiling at me.

'I know we had that little silly fucking argument before, and I'm sorry it was stupid and I'm stupid but anyway enough of that' I reach my hand out and grab hers, first she looks a bit hesitant and then she just accepts it

'Naomi I-'

'Is that Emily Nai? Tell her to come in' a voice cuts through me and Naomi, and I look up at her confused, Either Kelly grew some balls and had been taking testosterone tablets, or that voice was definitely Ian's, and Ian is definitely in Naomi's flat, with Naomi alone, In Naomi's flat with Naomi alone it repeats in my head

Pulling my hand away from Naomi disgusted, I stumble back away from her, looking up at her face she looks confused 'No' I shout over Naomi's shoulder, aiming it at Ian's suggestion 'I'll leave you lovebirds to it' I spit at Naomi, then turn around pacing away from her door.

'Emily?' she asks confused behind me, I hear her shut the front door and her footsteps chasing up behind me 'Emily where are you going?'

'Fuck off' I reply and keep pacing.

'No, you're drunk, upset and quite frankly confused' she comments, still pacing behind me

I stop abruptly, turning around on my heels, right in the middle of the street

'What is this Naomi?' I slur at her, gesturing with my hands between me and her 'I don't fucking know what to think! I have so many fucking questions in my head' running my hands frustrated through my hair 'Am I just a fucking experiment? You're not gay right? This is not fucking real; I can't help but think I'm just fucking convenient for you'

'Emily none of that true' she shouts at me desperately but I just turn around and continue walking, actually I'm going to tell her why I came here, seems like the best thing to do right now, she can stop playing with my heart.

'Oh by the way, I came to tell you that I love you' I say casually still walking,

I hear her footsteps stop 'yes that's right, I fucking love you' I shout over my shoulder one last time, still pacing to make my quick exit, she shouts right at the top of her lungs

'For for sake Emily, the reason he's in there is because about 5 minutes ago I fucking broke up with him!'

Stopping, I take a second to register her words, taking a deep breath I turn around to look at her, suddenly my visions blurry and I feel like I'm fucking spinning out of control maybe I just spun around a bit to fucking fast at her confession, before I have time to tell Naomi to stop fucking moving around, I feel like I'm about to go sick.

Raising my hands to my head and shaking it, I see Naomi walking towards me

'Emily are you okay?' voice laced full of concern

Before I have time to answer my world falls black, and I feel my body being thrown against the stone cold pavement floor, the last thing I hear before I fall completely unconscious Naomi's worried voice 'fuck, Emily please wake up!'

Turns out I can't handle alcohol as well as I thought I could.