Aphrodisiac
Characters: Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara, mentions of others
Description: More silliness, and plenty more smut.
Rating: M
Warning: Smut. Insanity. You know the drill.
Disclaimer: STILL not mine. And it won't be next time either.

"Gaara..." Naruto wept.

"Naruto..." Gaara grabbed his friend's hands.

"Gaara..." Naruto sniffled.

"Naruto..." Gaara gently pulled the other male to his feet.

"Yes...?" Naruto tugged one hand free and wiped at the tears on his cheek.

Gaara took in a long, deep breath. "We need to escape."

The blond nodded, sounding happy even as he sobbed. "Oh, Gaara. I never thought I'd see you again... dattebayo..."

Gaara would have hugged Naruto, but Naruto was naked, and that would be weird. So instead, he patted Naruto's shoulder gently. "It's okay. We'll figure out something."

The door of the room slid open, revealing a beaming Sasuke. "Oooh, I see you've found your present, Naruto! Doesn't this make you happy?"

Gaara surveyed the Uchiha with narrowed eyes. "He's on drugs. Either that, or Orochimaru warped him beyond repair," he commented, as if Sasuke wasn't actually there.

Naruto let out a sob, and nodded. "Yeah..."

Sasuke twitched. He knew there was a reason he hated this sand bastard...

Meanwhile, Gaara had continued. "What has he done to you? You seem different."

Naruto wailed. "You don't wanna know!"

"Yes, I do," Gaara said firmly. How else would he be able to help the blond?

Behind him, Sasuke giggled. Gaara paused, and turned to look at the Uchiha. Sasuke was holding ketchup. "You wanna know? How about I show you?" the crazy man said, and giggled again.

xXx

There was something to be said for Sand shinobi. That is to say, they didn't tend to bend over and take it. Ever. Especially recovering psychotics. Especially the Kazekage. Especially-

"Yeah, we get it, shut up," Gaara muttered.

Sasuke, holding his bottle of ketchup, paused. "Who are you talking to?"

"The narrator. You know, Lost?" Gaara said, blinking in surprise.

"Narrator? But... but there's only Kishimoto-sensei!" the Uchiha protested.

"What world do you live in?" Gaara said, and snorted. "I can't believe you don't know about the narrator. I thought all nutcases knew about her. You know, she's short, stalkerish, kinda creepy, has a strange fixation on bondage?"

Sasuke blinked. "Oh, I thought she was just the peanut gallery."

Hey! That's not nice.

Gaara shrugged. "Same thing, really." He coughed. "Anyway, you were trying to get to a point, I believe, Miss Author."

Ahem. Yes. I was. Thanks. Anyway...

This, of course, means they don't take it up the ass (except from Shikamaru)-

Gaara scowled. "Oi!"

Oh, sorry. You know how I am... Well, back to the point.

-even from the main character of the storyline. No matter what the author wants. No, generally, Sand shinobi are the ones bending people over.

However, (since this authoress is a sadist and Gaara is mean to her...) 'Sand shinobi' had never been in such a situation where Sasuke was concerned. And frankly, Sasuke cheats.

Gaara suddenly stiffened, and sniffed the air lightly. "What's that smell? It's... sweet. Like... honey..."

Naruto had a very bright flush on his face, and was swaying on his feet. He giggled, and smiled slightly. At some point, Sasuke had procured a gas mask. Not that he needed it, since he was Sasuke.

The Uchiha had to concede to this point and removed the mask, tossing it over his shoulder, then smiled at his... guests. "That smell, as you state, is an aphrodisiac mixed with a mild sedative. Not enough to knock a full grown man out, but enough to make him... malleable." He giggled and stepped forward, poking Gaara's chest with a finger.

Gaara hesitated, as if trying to think through the fog in his mind, and then fell backwards onto the bed. Naruto, realizing what was going on, sat down before Sasuke did the same to him.

(*the authoress clears her throat* Sasuke, that is not the correct use of that word. Just so you know.)

And as he has been doing, the drugged up Uchiha completely ignored the peanut gallery and went about his business. Mostly, strapping Gaara to the bed. He turned to look at Naruto, then decided that tying him down wasn't necessary. Instead, he pointed. "Narruuuttoo? Do me a favor?"

Naruto blinked a few times, trying (and failing) to focus on the black haired sex god in front of him. Hm... sex... Sasuke... Sexke... Naruto giggled. "Yes, Sexke?" He giggled again and smiled slightly.

Sasuke blinked. "Well, it would seem you're more sensitive to the stuff than Gaara. He's just sitting there staring at the rope on his wrists..." He looked at the redhead, who was indeed staring at the rope on his wrists.

In fact, he was currently wondering why there was rope on his wrists, and where his pants had gone. He was pretty sure he'd been wearing pants a minute ago, though he couldn't focus long enough to accurately recall...

"Sexgay!" Naruto cried suddenly. "Yes. That's it. … dattebayo."

Sasuke looked back at Naruto. "... let's not mess with my name like that," he said gently, and kissed the blond. To his delight, Naruto kissed him back. In fact, he dragged the Uchiha closer with a soft moan and demanded more.

Briefly, Sasuke wondered why he hadn't thought of using this stuff sooner. Then he climbed into Naruto's lap and dragged his mouth from his. Naruto whined softly, then sucked in a sharp breath when Sasuke began to nibble on his throat. Gently, the Uchiha nudged Naruto over, laying him out on the bed.

"I have rope on my wrists," Gaara announced. "It is uncomfortable. Remove it."

"Shut up," Naruto groaned, then realized something. Wasn't he just trying to get away from Sasuke? This wasn't right. This was all wrong!

(*the authoress coughs and mops at her bloody nose, then nods* That's right, Naruto! Or rather, wrong... wait... whose side am I on?)

"Sasuke," Naruto panted, shoving at the Uchiha's shoulders. "Sasuke, stop. This isn't- nng... oh, gods, yes..." He drew in a sharp breath as Sasuke reached his left nipple. "No... wrong, all wrong," he mumbled, but oh dear gods if felt so right...

Meanwhile, with Gaara...

Gaara was watching. Avidly. With much interest. (boy, isn't that redundant) He'd never seen two men in this sort of position before. Two women? Sure. There was that hooker bar Kankuro dragged him to once a month, with the excuse that he needed to be more social (and get laid).

((All the way over in Suna, Kankuro, in the middle of searching the city for his brother, sneezed violently))

But he'd never seen this with two men. It was interesting, and he sort of wondered what went where (was there a hole, that sorta thing). Then he found out, and watched with wide eyes as Naruto arched, Sasuke's cock shoved up his ass, and groaned in ecstacy. Oh dear... that looked painful.

xXx

And I think I'm done for a while... Just a warning.