Disclaimer: I do not own gossip girl.

A/N: I can't say much more, then... this took a really freaking long time, and I'm sorry it did. I hope you like this chapter, I had a hard time getting it finished. Writer's Block was cruel to me.

Enjoy!

Blair arrived home after school with no accidents on the way, she took the stairs instead of the elevator again, that was going to be a frequent thing.

She knew her mother would be arriving soon, back from the honeymoon, so she ran off to her room, to prepare herself for it.

Inside of her room, she leaned her head on the closed door with her hand on the doorknob and her other hand flat palmed on the door. She waited for her body to calm down, it was just another anxiety or fear that developed over the week after the attack, she couldn't walk down a hall or up stairs without thinking someone was following, or waiting to pounce on her, so she always walked a bit quicker to her destinations.

Breathing at the door Blair let go of the doorknob, backing away and finally turned to bed, she fell on it with exhaustion. Even with getting sleep, she still wasn't actually getting sleep. She looked at the ceiling with squinted eyes and then looked over at something that was perking into her eyesight from the corner. On her nightstand leaning against her clock was a piece of paper. At first Blair jumped, not from the paper itself, but the fact that something was here, that wasn't before, it caught her off guard.

Relaxing again, Blair lifted her arm and reached for the piece of paper, touching it felt weird. Is that weird? I mean it feels like I haven't touched anything different for so long, it's been bed covers, doors, and books. Holding her back from the rest of the world, that even touching something that wasn't in her routine of fear, was shocking. This fact, made her rub her fingers along the edges of the paper, hoping to feel a piece of world she couldn't feel anymore. She hated feeling as if she was confined, and knowing it was only her that was creating the confinement. Fighting yourself is a surrendering battle.

After running her fingers over the edges she looked to the writing on it,

TOGETHER WITH THEIR PARENTS

MR. AND MRS. STEWART

MR. AND MRS. VAN DER BILT

Maureen Stewart

&

Tripp van der Bilt III

REQUEST THE PLEASURE OF YOUR COMPANY

AT THEIR MARRIAGE

SUNDAY, THE NINETEENTH OF APRIL

TWO THOUSAND AND NINE

AT SIX O'CLOCK IN THE EVENING

ST. JAMES CHURCH

NEW YORK, NEW YORK

Blair overlooked the invitation again, she knew this was going to be given out to everyone, everyone that mattered, and she panicked, her mother would be seeing this, hearing about it, and demanding she go. The last thing she wanted is too be in a room full of bodies, some drunk and emotional. All she could do was stare at this piece of paper, which was sure to give her nightmares.

Eventually she threw it on her bed, Blair couldn't look at it any longer, she heard her mother's voice echoing through the halls for Dorota, she went to her door and looked back one last time at her bed and the contents on it, she then turned the knob and exhaled walking out the door, closing it tight behind her.

Each step down the hallway felt prolonged and almost amplified. And when she came into view, and saw her mother standing there over her luggage and a small man, Cyrus, both smiling and to giddy for words. Blair tried to look at them and take in what they had; complete and utter happiness, but it did nothing for her. Her mother caught sight of her and then the act began.

"Blair! My dear, come here let me see you."

Blair walked over and watched as her mother's arms were stretched out towards her, Blair wasn't sure what this was, but she reluctantly opened her own arms and possibly hugged her mother.

"I've missed you Blair" she pulled back and her mother looked her over, Blair didn't say anything, she just kept a blank stare.

Cyrus finally spoke up "Come here, don't I get a hug?"

Blair turned to him and was already locked in a hug type of thing with Cyrus before she fully turned, when pulling back, Cyrus responded "Not enough!" and then again embraced Blair, she was grateful they cared. But she didn't like this, she couldn't take people touching her, so when Cyrus had gone in for the second hug, Blair had a hard time keeping from shaking, she had never felt more of an urge or need to throw up then now, she pulled away harshly.

"Excuse me, I'm feeling a bit uneasy; I'm going to head to bed if you don't mind."

"No no, go right ahead, we'll tell you about our honey moon adventures when you're up to it." Cyrus said while pulling Eleanor towards the kitchen.

Blair found herself tripping over her feet while she ran to her bathroom, she swung open her bedroom door, and then slammed it shut, not looking back, she ran into her bathroom, slamming that door too, her body collapsed by the toilet, where she led her fingers to the back of her throat. Finally she let it out, the sounds following the pool of yogurt with some fluids, really there wasn't much to let out, but it was still something. She kept forcing her finger to the back, even when she was completely empty she kept pushing, she felt as if something more needed to be out, she scooted closer to the toilet and then after thrusting endlessly, she started coughing, and blood followed, she looked at her hand.

The next thing she remembered was watching the floor turn to the ceiling. Her head was headed for the floor, hitting hard and both hands lying on each side, one with blood on it, and another tightly gripped in a fist.

"Get up." He wasn't harsh with his words, it wasn't even a demand, it was just a comment of some sorts.

Blair was still on the bed motionless, her naked body was only covered by a thin sheet that he tossed over her after being done; she curled up into a ball after it was over and stared into nothing. The room was dark and the only light coming in was from underneath the door from the hallway. You could see when people were walking by a small shadow went over the light for a few quick seconds.

He came to the bed again, after getting dressed. Leaned in and kissed Blair on her ear, whispering "Tell me who won the bet sometime."

After grabbing his jacket he opened the door and Blair squinted from the light, just as quick as he came, he was gone. The door slammed shut and Blair twitched from the loudness of it. After a few minutes of feeling completely dead, she felt a chill coming from the vent below the bed, she threw off the thin sheet that was covered in him, Blair wasn't on those covers, something she would probably never take pride in. When she was off the bed, standing naked there, she swallowed hard and gathered her clothes putting them on even with their tares. She walked out the room not looking back. Taking a cab home, watching out the window as life was still going, and hers had just ended minutes ago.

Blair opened her eyes to find the bathroom ceiling above her, she stared and then tilted her head, lifting her hands to her face, tears were coming out, she felt her head and dry blood was there. A moan escaped her mouth and then she lifted her body up, she felt dizzy and slowly looked over everything, only bruised knees from how she was sitting over the toilet leaning on them, and a bloody hand. That's not too bad, she decided to scoot her way to the tub, so she could lean against something.

She didn't know how long she was passed out for, or how long she was leaning against the tub, but she just couldn't find the strength to care about time or any of it. She stared at the toilet and the blood on the floor, after awhile she could feel a stinging every time she swallowed, which was most likely cuts from trying to relief herself previously. Blair grabbed the side of the tub for help to stand, and slowly straightened herself upright, a bit wobbly she made her way to the shower, and turned it on, stepping in with all clothes on and stood there with one hand on the shower handle, each drop hitting her. She raised her head up and let it rinse her face, letting out a breath, and then dropping her head. Looking over herself, she slowly pulled off her now soaking wet clothes. Blair let the blood go down the drain, as she slid down the side of the shower into a sitting position. A few minutes and then she'd get out.

Twenty five minutes later she finally stood and yawned grabbing for the handle shutting off the water.

Getting a towel and stepping out, she looked over the floor and saw the blood dried up on the white tile, she dampened a towel from the sink and cleaned the floor. Throwing the blood stained towel away, she left the bathroom, and slowly got dressed into night clothes.

Heading towards her bed she saw the paper, the invitation, she stared at it before falling into her comforting bed, she just laid there with her stomach flat on the bed and her head smothered in the covers, she felt exhausted. Pulling her blanket out from under her, she covered herself, tangling it in between her legs, and holding it like her protection she fell into a dreamless night. One night of sleep was what she got, just this once.

____

"One trying to escape from sleep is surely deprived from the escape sleep offers."

A/N: Its about 3:24 in the morning.. meaning its Wednesday, I'm exhausted and instead of going to bed like normal people did hours ago, I'm gonna work on my exam essay! WOO. Anyways that doesn't apply at all to the story, so let me get back on track here. I hope you liked the chapter, review if you so choice too. Either way thank you for reading! I really can't explain how much it means that you take any amount of time out of your day to read my "writing", if it can really even be called that. Just thank you so much!

PS: The quote is yours truly (meaning me, lol).