Summary: (AU SB/NL) After purchasing a dog, Neville gets more than he expected: Sirius Black, in the flesh, sort of. Trouble is, Black's in hiding and he needs Neville's help and the only way he can switch back and forth from being man's best friend and world's worst criminal is with a kiss. Woops, sorry Neville.
Warnings: AU, book spoilers, mild cussing, Slash, and big age differences at the start. If this bothers you then don't continue reading.
DOGBREATH
CHAPTER NINE:
Wise Men and Fools
There are tons of people in the world. Sweet ones, sour, grumpy ones, tired ones, dark spirited ones, kind hearted ones, and the list goes on. But the fact is that you will most definitely find one of these people that will tick you off like nothing else. And usually you don't have to look very far. You might try to avoid these people, but they have the amazing power to pop out when you least expect it, so be careful. But you need to remember, above all else, that they are just human as well. This advice was not helping Snuffles out in the slightest.
He flinched slightly, and moved away as Old Woman, as he dubbed her, swung her legs off the couch to sit up.
"Neville, son, could you grab me a glass of something? I'm parched; you know how fainting spells tire me so. I can't believe one just sprung on me. How peculiar."
"Yes Gran."
How peculiar indeed. Snuffles did not like her, not one bit. He huffed, thinking smellsmellsmell and badbadbad, and even though his sensitive nose could pick out each individual scent, he chose not to dwell on it too long. Old Woman was very talkative; her jaw was busy working itself in a mad frenzy, nagging all the way. She was very angular, very hard, and he did not like the way she spoke down to her grandson. She was Bad. And he Did Not Like Her.
Now that Old Woman was sitting up, she kept glancing around, evaluating her new surroundings. She barley spared Snuffles a glance.
"Here Gran," Neville placed a glass of amber liquid infront of her, and Snuffles wanted to run to him, to hide his head in his chest, and get rid of all her nasty smells, but he was too close to her.
"Anything else we can get you, Miss Longbottom?" Molly asked, wiping her hands over her long skirt.
"It is Mrs. Not Miss. My husband may be deceased but let me assure you, I still wear my ring, and our vows did not die with his body."
"I thought it was 'Till death do us part'," Ron whispered. Harry shrugged.
"But another blanket would be fine," Old Woman continued, "I am a bit chilled."
Neville hopped up again, "I'll get it Mrs. Molly. Just tell me where it is."
"They are in the cupboard, dear, it's the one in the hallway. You can pick out the one you think would be best, I have a lot." She then turned back to Old Woman and said with a grin, "I knit."
Snuffles snorted. Like that would create a bond between them? He was sure that Old Woman probably never worked a job, let alone a hobby, that didn't have magic in it. Molly was trying too hard. He turned to followed Neville, wanting to get away so he wouldn't have to smell her any longer, but Neville was already coming back.
He charged up to the boy, whining helphelphelp and smellsmellsmellsmell as he eased his front onto Neville's shirt, wagging his tail.
The two women worked themselves into a strained conversation that would halt for a moment whenever Old Woman said something insulting or when Molly said something she could not relate to. But that was fine with Snuffles, because, on the floor, with his head in Neville's lap, he felt at ease.
One by one the children left, going to the kitchen or upstairs to their rooms. All of them felt uncomfortable, and none of them wanted to be around to see when or even if Old Woman finally remembered why she fainted in the first place.
Snuffles yawned, opening his mouth really wide, and felt Neville stiffen for a minute before he relaxed and started to rub his ears again. Nicenicenice he huffed out. His ears peeked up, when he heard the rain start to fall, but there was no other disturbance. He was just falling asleep when he heard what Old Woman said.
"We have to stay the night then, Neville." She turned to survey the house, and it was clear that it did not meet her standards, let alone her expectations of what a house should be. "If that is alright with you all, of course." Old Woman paused, and at not receiving any objections, she continued, "I also have some questions that must be answered."
"Stay the night?" Neville asked in a hopeful voice.
"Can't you hear the rain, son? There is no way I can see well enough to drive in this weather, and I don't want to use magic by any means, because then we will have to come back and get the car. All unnecessary steps, don't you think?"
"Yes Gran."
"Well that's fine," Molly said. "Neville can stay with one of the boys, and the couch is sturdy enough for you. If you want, I can get my husband to make it into a nice, little bed. You'll be comfortable."
"I see," Old Woman said dryly. "Now back to those questions I was talking about. I have a few, if you don't mind."
"Not at all," Molly answered with a pained smile.
"I have trouble getting my mind to catch on to things, after a fainting spell. But I do know that I came to get my grandson. I sent him here to purchase a dog. He was to be back home by noon." She paused, looking at them with a controlled expression, "He wasn't."
"N-no Gran," Neville spoke up, and Snuffles felt him trembling. He tensed, waiting to see what the boy would say. "I lost track…track of t-time. A-and then we...w-we had to get p-p-paperwork and stuff. And then I lost my money, but they are wizards, so they said any type of currency would be f-fine, and…"
"Neville, son, you're rambling. None of this would have lasted a whole day, would it? And you did not call."
"Well," Molly started, and by the look on her face Snuffles was sure that she was thinking hard. "Things got complicated. The dog he wanted was not available and we set up a force field in the back, because…one of the dogs had escaped…he helped us with that…but it cut off the other magic flow, such as the phone line…and then my husband's nephew came…Neville was so nice to him, really…and it was already late, so…he stayed the night. He said he could contact you in the morning."
"It's already midday," commented Old Woman.
"You came in the morning Gran," Neville said quickly.
"I did? Hmm, I guess I just lost track of time."
"Do you have any other questions, Mrs. Longbottom? Anything we can help you with to make sure you are more at home here?"
Old Woman ignored her. "My grandson is still wearing the same clothes he wore the day prier. I can see the newspaper sticking out of his back pocket." Neville blushed, "There is also mud all on him. And Neville, son, is that a tear on your jumper?"
"Yes Gran," he muttered.
"Something is not right here. Out of all the things you both have said, that has not been explained. Also, I'm sure that there are quite enough dogs here, so there would be no rush in picking one out, but he should have picked one sooner. I know that he would have. He would not have stayed. Neville hates being a bother..."
Old Woman leveled them with that look again, and Snuffles was reminded of a cat, even though she looked more like a big turkey. She was shifty and clever, and thought too highly of herself. And the way she spoke of Neville…
Neville began stroking him, hard and fast, around the neck and ears, and that's when he realized he was growling. Old Woman turned to face him. He barred his teeth.
"I do not like being lied to. I am old, not invalid or blind." She said sharply.
"That's it Gran!" Neville exclaimed suddenly. He got on his feet and Snuffles stood to rest his head against the boy's chest. "I wanted to s-surprise you! See, I wanted you to see my dog, before I took him home. I wanted you to approve."
"That dog is massive, I'm sure it would break all the china."
"N-n-no, that's not the-" Neville stuttered, as Molly began, "That's the family's-"
"Fine, fine if both of you insist. I can see there is no pleasing you any other way. I can see fit to be charitable to my family." She glanced at Molly, pulling up her big, overflowing bag to fish out her wallet, "How much is the beast?"
"Gran, please, I think you don't get what we're saying."
"You wanted this, not me. My, has your mind always been this fickle, or did you change when I was not looking?" She stood up, and hobbled over to the side table. After Old Woman downed the amber liquid she asked again, "How much is it?"
Molly tried a new approach, "Are you sure that a boy at Neville's age is mature enough to handle a dog this big? I should know, having a son his age. And your house, this dog can cause quite a lot of damage, as you could imagine. Maybe a smaller, older dog would be better."
Old Woman sat down again. "Our house is big enough to store it, and I'm sure the woods behind our lot would please it."
"Maybe, maybe not. I really think you should weigh your options, Mrs. Longbottom."
"Are you saying I am wrong, Mrs. Robinson? If your dogs are as bad as you say, maybe I ought to call an inspector, just to check up on your place." Old Woman paused. "Do you think I should ponder that option?"
"No," Molly said, her voice tired and cracked.
"Then we're taking him. You will never have to deal with this beast again."