Chapter 10
(Gotta be Somebody)
What's wrong with her? The question kept pulling at the edge of Zuko's mind, making sleep impossible. He lay awake in his bed for hours, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out what he had done. She was constantly changing her mind: she would be playful and completely comfortable with him, her happiness making him want to kiss her. Then, no more than a few hours later, she would be completely closed, shunning everything he said. IIt all started, he decided, when she mentioned Mai. Mai had stopped by earlier, just before they fought in the grass and that had been a good thing. But when she asked him if he did the right thing... she did mean that they broke up, right? Thats the only thing that the Firelord could think of. why had that made her upset?
When he realized that he was not going to drift off to sleep, Zuko sat up in bed and looked to the door to the balcony. Standing up quickly, he plodded across the room and stepped onto the balcony. The air was heavy with humidity. For some reason, he had always been able to think better out doors. Ribbons of thought glided through his mind as he tried to remember anything that would have caused such hostility from Katara. What perplexed him the most was the fact that she had let him touch her the way he did. If she was truly angry with him, she would have pushed him away, the way she used to when she was fourteen. Zuko leaned on the railing and stared out over the island. "Why?" he asked aloud, resting his face in his palms.
"Because," a silky voice cut in.
"Katara," Zuko started, looking up at her. "Please, tell me whats going on. Between you and I. What's happening?"
Katara laughed, her hands placed lightly in one of the rose bushes. She plucked one carefully, the thorns still drawing blood from the tips of her fingers and brought it to her face. Zuko cringed at the sight of her blood, not liking to think of her in pain. "Nothing, Zuko. Thats just it. There is nothing between us. And, just to let you know; I thought it over and," she lied. "I'm alright with being friends. But.. you'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you. No matter how far apart we are."
"I want to be the kind of 'friend' that you would tell anything to, Katara. The one that you can depend on, the one that you could just be yourself with. Katara, I want to be the one that--"
"You already are. You always have been," she smiled lightly at him.
"Do you want to go down to the beach? Try again? Start over." Zuko asked carefully, eying her face. Again she smiled, then nodded. He watched as she turned and went inside the house again, a small smile breaking over his lips. Here we go again, he thought, almost laughing to himself.
They didn't take anything with them, other than a few towels and a few pieces of dried drift wood from the stash beside the fireplace. Careful not to wake anybody up, they crept out of the house silently. As soon as they were out side, they began laughing hysterically, all the way down to the beach. "I feel like Oma..." Katara laughed, "You know, the sneaking around."
"The cave of two lovers. Do you remember when... I guess you would." Zuko carried the drift wood to the fire pit and lit it easily. "You know that was the day when I started thinking about about you as more than just a girl."
"Yeah, but, we're friends. We're friends now, so apparently it wasn't meant to be. But, at times, our relationship as friends before was really awkward. Like the whole, 'Get off me!' thing. Do you remember that?" Katara laughed as she sat the blankets down *towels, blankets, whatever!* in the sand.
"At the Western Air Temple? That was just before we went to find Yan Ra. I owed you something; without you, I would never have found my mother."
"Have you heard from her lately?" Katara asked,stretching her arms abover her head before plopping down on the blanket. Zuko sat down beside her.
"I get a letter from her every couple weeks. But she refuses to come home. She's too afraid," he glanced at her sadly. "But at least I know that she's alright."
"That makes me feel good too. She wrote to me, just after my sixteenth birthday... did- did you tell her when my birthday was?" Katara shifted a little, the blanket under them folding under her. As he laughed, Katara saw the light of the moon reflecting in his eyes. She found herself smiling back at him, pulling her thin robe around her tightly. They started talking about the stars again; both of them laying down beside each other and scanning the sky. "Giant panda, right?"
"Great Panda," Zuko corrected lightly. "That one beside it is the Dragon's Fire."
"Where?" Katara asked, tilting her head.
"There," Zuko pointed upwards.
"I still don't see it!"
"Come here," Zuko said.
Katara rested her head on his chest lightly, trying to push away all the feelings flooding into her. They were friends, she told herself, and thats all they could ever be. "Oh, I see now. Okay, so earlier we stargazed, then we went swimming. Wanna go swimming?"
"I'm comfortable here," Zuko said, smiling at her. He felt her lay a hand on the scar on his chest. She ran her fingers over it carefully, remembering again. Her hand moved with the tide subconsciously as she stroked his skin. "Are you alright? Tell me what's bothering you."
"This is going to sound hypocritical and stupid," Katara started, her hand coming to a stop. "And I know that less than twenty minutes ago, I said I was alright with being friends. But, Zuko, I want you to change your mind about Mai."
"I don't want to change my mind." Zuko took her hand, her blue eyes flickered up to his gold ones. "I know how I feel about her, and I know how I feel about you. Its been the same way for three years now. And, I'm sorry if I'm being blunt, but, I don't think you can change it."
"I can try," Katara whispered half to herself. She tilted her head up towards his ear and quietly breathed; "Close your eyes." Zuko did as he was told. Katara lightly lifted herself from him, slipping her hand away from his. Breathing shallowly and swallowing against nervousness, she leaned over him, her long brown hair brushing over his shoulders. Slowly, she bent down to him, hesitating momentarily just before kissing his lips. She heard him inhale sharply, then felt his hand on the side of her face. Zuko sat up, still holding her face in his hands. Katara wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer. Her eyes opened in shock as he deepened the kiss, but returned the gesture, pressing tightly to him. A tear slid down her face as she closed her eyes again, welcoming his embrace. She could feel how warm he got when she kissed him, his lips almost burned against hers. Once she got past the warmth, she could feel his heart beating rapidly. It frightened her how similar the beat was to her own, which she could feel pulsing through her head. All the air in her lungs turned to fire, and it burned so badly that she separated for a moment and just looked into his eyes. A thin smile graced his lips as he leaned toward her again, kissing her mouth. Katara pulled away from him, breathing heavily. She felt his hand against the skin on her cheek, lingering on the scar that she had forgotten about until now.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his own breath coming short as he remembered her sitting by the water with her face in her hands.
"Please, don't be." Katara let him kiss her again, his lips brushing over her scar carefully. Then, to her own surprise, she allowed him to lay her down on the blanket. "I told you you weren't childish," she muttered between kisses. He pressed his lips to her face and neck lightly before pulling back her robe. And Katara let it happen, she didn't fight it; she didn't want to.
Toph sat up on the floor of her room. "OH HELL NO!" she squeaked. "Holy shit! Okay! don't need those vibrations... nope! Nope!" Leaping from the floor, she scurried into her bed. "The first time in years that I sleep in a bed... and its because of YOU TWO!" Toph rubbed her hands over her face, her blind eyes now wide open. "Thats a lovely way to wake up." Oh well, at least now the vibrations were muffled beyond recognition and she could get a little sleep.
Oh who was she kidding? There was no way she was going to sleep with that image in her mind. Just knowing that Zuko and Katara were... "I will never be able to sleep again."
Zuko's eyes opened just as the sun was peeking over the water. "Shit!" he hissed, sitting up. He touched Katara's shoulder lightly. "Katara, its sun up, we have to go." Suddenly awake, Katara pulled on her robe and grabbed the blankets from the sand.
"Hurry!" she chided, sprinting to the beach house. They came onto the front porch quietly, sneaking one more kiss before tip toeing into the house.
Later that morning, after everybody crawled into the living room, Toph pulled Katara aside. "Katara, what were you thinking?"
Katara rolled her blue eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You're lying. Queenie... I can feel your glowyness."
"You felt our vibrations!? Toph! That is a total invasion of privacy!"
From somewhere, Suki jumped into the conversation. "Katara... you... and... no way! Katara- you know he's- he and Mai are engaged."
At one point the night before, it had slipped her mind. Now, it came crashing back onto her head like a roof collapsing in and Katara broke down into tears. Her knees hit the floor loudly as she held her stomach in her arms. She sat on the floor of the kitchen, crying her eyes out like a child. "Katara, what's wrong?" Zuko asked coming to his knees beside her. He took her wet face in his hands and looked her in the eyes carefully.
"Please just go away. Please." Before leaving her, he kissed her forehead.
"What did you do to my little sister?" Sokka asked angrily as Zuko walked away from her.
"She made the first move, Sokka. And I didn't touch her until she made a move on me." Zuko's voice was level and calm. Sokka's face didn't stay angry, it relaxed, and maybe even saddened a bit. He looked through the door at his sister, then back at Zuko in front of him, and simply nodded. "Thank you, Sokka."
"Woah woah woah... Suki... en-what?" Toph asked quietly, her milky green eyes flicking up to the girl's face.
"I-I knew he was engaged. But, you guys, he can't marry her. If he does- I'll die inside. Even ask Sokka. I haven't slept a whole night through in three years until we came here and I saw him again. I need him, Toph, Suki... I can't explain it... I just do. I'm so ashamed of myself." Katara wiped her sleeves over her eyes and face, trying to dry them, but succeeding only in rubbing them raw. It hadn't been until now that she had thought of the possible consequences of what they had done. "I wasn't even thinking... I just... wanted him to know how much I loved him. Oh, god. My father-" what would her father think? He would be extremely disappointed at her for breaking the tribe's customs. But of course, it had been perfectly acceptable for Sokka to- No. She decided. I will not compare myself to my brother. Besides, being only seventeen, she wasn't yet allowed (By tribal tradition) to have more advanced relationships with a man without becoming his wife first. There would be only one way for her to be excused of her behavior, and that, she knew, would never happen.
"No one here is going to judge you two," Toph assured her, helping her to her. "Go be with your King, Queenie."
"Hey..."
"Yes, Queenie. I knew from the beginning that you two liked eachother. I mean, from the beginning- like before you even admitted it to yourselves. Katara, I showed him the waterfall." A smirk pricked on the corner of the blind girl's mouth. She must have sensed Katara's shock.
Katara's mind flashed back: the waterfall, the burn, the prison cart, Zuko's mother, the kiss. It had all been Toph's doing, and because of it, Katara had found the one she truely loved. "Did I ever tell you how much I sister love you?" Katara asked, hugging her tightly. She nodded lightly, then pointed to the door. Toph watched with her feet as Katara stood in front of Zuko, her arms crossed over her stomach; she wrapped her arms around him, burrying her face into his shoulder. 'Yep,' Toph thought to herself.
WO-OAH! Who saw that one coming? Guess what... I didn't either! This was meant to be later- but, I want to build up the whole Zuzu is(NOT) engaged to evil she witch. Pay close attention... Is brought up Hakoda for a reason. Can you figure out why? 100 points to whoever guesses. Lol!
~She Poe