The next day, Mike slept past noon again.
"What time is it?" he asked Holly as he entered the living room where she was reading one of her romance novels. He stretched his arms above his head and yawned.
"Two o'clock."
"I'm sorry that I keep oversleeping."
"You look like you could use the extra sleep."
"But I lose half the day when I sleep this long. I'm going to try to wake up before noon tomorrow."
"I'll get you something to eat, and then would you like to go to the mall for some new clothes? We don't have to if you don't want to, but you'd be more comfortable in clothes that fit you."
Mike thought about it while she made him some scrambled eggs and toast.
"I guess we can go shopping," he said as she gave him his plate.
"All right then, while you eat I'm going to run over to a neighbor's house to borrow some shoes since you don't have any. I'll be right back."
After Mike finished eating and Holly got him some shoes, they drove to the mall. On the way there, they passed an old Victorian era style house.
"That's mine and Jack's dream house," she said as they passed it. "It's just like the one my grandmother had, I used to spend my summers there. It was my favorite place in the world. This one is a big fixer-upper, but it would be so beautiful once it's restored to its former glory. We've been saving up for it for years, someday we'll call it home."
"I'd love to live in a house like that," said Mike.
They went to the shoe store first, since the shoes they had borrowed were too small.
"How about these?" she said as she showed him a pair of red sneakers.
"I like them," he said. But then he put a hand to his head, like he had a headache. "I can't get those, Manitoba wants boots."
"Who's Manitoba?"
"One of my imaginary friends."
"We might get boots another day, but I was thinking we should get you something more comfortable, shoes for playing in."
She showed him several more pairs, but he turned them all down, because his imaginary friends didn't like them. They all wanted different types, styles, and colors. Finally, they settled on a pair of plain gray sneakers, and Holly let out a sigh of relief.
After they bought the shoes and left the store, they sat down on a bench so Mike could put the new shoes on.
"You know Mike, you don't have to do everything your imaginary friends tell you to do." She noticed that one of them was Svetlana, the personality who had appeared the night before. "I could tell you didn't really want these shoes. You should have ignored them and chosen for yourself."
"I don't want them to get upset or mad at me. They're my friends, I just want us to all get along. And these shoes aren't so bad, at least they aren't ballet shoes, or shoes with arch support."
"Well, when we go to the clothes store, you're picking whatever you want, okay?"
He didn't look convinced, but he nodded in agreement.
They went to the clothing store next. Holly paid attention to Mike as he looked through the different racks of clothes. If he showed interest in a shirt, but then chose another one that a little boy wouldn't normally pick, she would take the first shirt and put the other one back. Once both their arms were laden with t-shirts and jeans, Mike went to the fitting room.
"Try on the clothes and pick only the ones you love. I'll be looking around at the dresses until you finish, but I'll be close by, okay?"
"Okay."
Holly waited patiently for him to try on all the clothes. They had picked out a lot, so she knew he would be a while, but after fifteen minutes passed, she began to feel concerned.
She went back to the men's fitting room and called in, "Mike? Everything okay in there?"
No answer.
She went inside and passed another man going in.
"Hey, this is the men's fitting room, the women's is right next to this one."
"I'm just checking on my… on the boy I'm looking after."
She went by each stall, until she came to one with all the clothes they had picked out. Mike wasn't in there.
"Why would he have left?" she murmured to herself.
She left the fitting room and looked around the store for him, going in circles. With each passing second, she grew more and more worried. What if someone had taken him? What if he had run away?
"I'm looking for my son, he's this tall, has dark skin, about eight or ten years old. His name is Mike, have you seen him?" she asked a cashier, trying not to sound frantic.
Just as the cashier was about to send a message over the intercom for Mike, something caught the corner of her eye. She stopped her and went over to another boy, one she had passed before but now that she got a closer look, looked very familiar.
This boy had no shirt on, even though shirts were required to gain entrance to the store. His hair was slicked back, and he held himself with confidence. It was no wonder she hadn't recognized him at first, but this boy was Mike, no doubt about it. He was flirting with another cashier with a tiny waist, big bust, and a dark tan.
"Ayo babe, when you get off work? I'll take you on the ride of your life."
The cashier giggled. "You're a cute kid."
"Kid? Baby, I ain't no kid. I-"
"Mike! There you are, I was so worried."
She reached out to take his hand to get him out of here, but he snatched it away. "Hey pasty, I know you want some of the Vito, but you're not my type, know what I'm sayin'?"
"V-Vito? No, honey, it's me, Holly. Don't you recognize me?"
"I ain't your honey, you got me confused with someone else."
"Is he your kid?" asked the cashier.
"Sort of."
"Well, I guess you missed the sign on the door, but no shirt, no shoes, no service."
"Does this hot bod not make up for my lack of attire?"
"You don't got much of a bod, kid."
"Ayo, I'm workin' on it! You wait and see, pretty soon I'll have abs and everything."
"Mike, or Vito, whoever you are, we need to leave right now," said Holly, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment.
"I haven't even got her number yet!"
Just then, the manager approached them.
"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you and your son to leave."
"Hey, she ain't my mom!"
"Come on Vito, now!" said Holly through her teeth. She grabbed his hand and started pulling him out, but he snatched his hand out of hers and shoved her into the manager.
"You ain't the boss of me! No one tells me what to do!"
"I'm so sorry," she said to the manager, who was now furious.
She couldn't force Vito to come with her, so the manager called security and they were both escorted out with everyone staring at them. Vito yelled back to the cashier, "Call me!"
The guards deposited them outside and one said, "Learn to control your kid."
Holly tried to take Vito's hand again, but he shoved her away again and tried to go back into the mall. She was fed up with this, and she grabbed him around the chest and carried him to the car. Vito cussed at her and put up a fight, but she managed to force him into the car and she drove home as fast as she could, hoping Mike would come back on the way, but he didn't.
"You are outta control, lady!" said Vito once they got back home.
"Don't make me have to do that again, because I will!" said Holly angrily.
"I'm gonna go outside and work out, do not disturb."
Holly went inside and called Jack at work.
"Hey Hol. I can't talk long, I'm already sluggish from last night's reading frenzy, coffee is all that's keeping me alive today."
"Jack, I don't know if I can do this."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, look after Mike."
"Uh oh. What happened?"
"We were at the mall and everything was going well, but then Mike went to try on some new clothes and a new personality named Vito came out. I don't know how it happened, Mike went in and Vito came out. He refused to wear a shirt and he wouldn't stop hitting on one of the cashiers. The manager came and had us escorted out by security. I mean, I was already trying to get out of there, but I've never been kicked out of a store before! And then I had to carry him to the car and force him in, I feel terrible for having to do that to Mike, even if it wasn't technically him at the time. I have never been so humiliated in all my life. And to top it all off, I don't know how to get Mike back, so I'm stuck with Vito until he gets tired or something."
"I'm sorry Holly, I do not envy you there."
"First it was Svetlana, now Vito. How many more does he have in there?" she asked as she pulled at her hair in frustration. "Are they all as bad as Vito? And are they going to pop out every day? I have no idea what I'm doing here, the worst I'm used to from kids is when they won't do their chores, I'm way out of my league here! Neither of us have any experience with mental disorders, that book only talked about what MPD is, it didn't give any instructions on how to help someone who has it. I don't know how to help Mike deal with this, we've only had him for two days and I'm already failing. I'm just not cut out for caring for children with disabilities like this."
"You're not failing, this is only the second day. No one expects you to be an expert, you're doing your best. It won't be much longer, and then Zita will find him a permanent home. Next time, we'll try to get a child that's less… interesting."
"Okay, okay," said Holly, feeling a little better. "Come home as soon as you can."
"Sure thing."
Jack came home a few hours later, and Vito was still the one in control. Jack did a double-take when he saw him.
"You weren't kidding."
Jack went outside to try to talk to Vito. Vito was doing push-ups on the lawn.
"So, um, you're Vito, correct?"
"That's my name, don't wear it out."
"Well, it's a… pleasure to meet you."
"I'm sure it is."
"I'd like to talk to Mike, if you wouldn't mind."
"I do mind."
"I need to talk to him anyway."
"Anything you want to say to him you can say to me. I might pass the memo along to him."
"I'd prefer talking to him directly."
"He's not home right now."
"Will you be letting him back out anytime tonight?"
"Maybe after I finish my workout."
Jack left it that. He had no idea of how to bring Mike back, and so all he could do was hope that he would let him back sometime soon.
"Are you sure you don't know what brought Vito out?" he asked Holly when he went back inside. "I mean, it looks like Svetlana was triggered by the Olympics, Vito must have a trigger to."
"That's what I was thinking. I don't know what triggered him, but if we can figure it out, maybe we can keep him and the others in. No more Olympics."
They watched as Vito used a large rock in the backyard to bench-press with. He did several reps, and then finally let Mike have control again. He looked disoriented at first, and then he came back inside.
"How'd we get back here? We were at the mall, I was going to try on clothes… Did I fall asleep or something? Ow, why are my muscles so sore?"
"Yes, you fell asleep," said Holly as she plastered a smile onto her face. "I'll go out tomorrow and pick up your clothes."
That night, neither Jack nor Holly felt like cooking, so they ordered in a pizza. They didn't do much talking over dinner, and Mike wondered why. He didn't ask, though. He wondered how he could just fall asleep in a store. He wasn't nearly as tired as he had been before, it didn't make any sense. He had spoiled his day out with Holly, and that irked him.
After dinner they put on a movie, but Jack and Holly weren't really paying attention. Mike noticed the tension but had no idea what to do about it. He was sitting with his arms around his knees. Holly noticed how he normally sat that way, and if he wasn't in a ball, standing or sitting he usually had his arms around his chest and he curled in on himself, guarding himself. Despite her unease about Vito and his overall condition, she still hoped he would feel safe enough eventually to not have to hold himself that way.
Mike was still sleep deprived from Mal's insomnia, and Vito's workout had only exhausted him more, so he accidentally fell asleep in a ball on the couch halfway through the movie. It was an uncomfortable position to sleep in, so Jack gently picked him up and carried him to his room.
After the movie ended, as they were lying in bed, Jack said, "I really feel sorry for him, you know? I mean, I don't think he knows what's going on."
"It must be so confusing to start in one place and wake up somewhere else, with no memory of the in-between. What must that be like?"
"I can't even imagine. How are we going to tell him? If someone told me I had a disorder like that, I don't know what I would do. I don't want to hurt him, but he's going to have to find out sooner or later. He's so young and so nice, what kind of people could do this to a child? It makes me angry just thinking about it. Mike deserves better."
"I referred to him as my son today in the mall by accident when I was looking for him. I don't know how I feel about that."
"Holly, we can't take care of a boy like him permanently. You've had to miss work this week to take care of him, and if those personalities of his keep popping out, he'll need a lot of supervision. We can't give him what he needs."
"I know, I just hope that whoever he ends up with, they'll take care of him. I just want him to be okay."
A while after Jack tucked him in bed, Mike woke up and wondered how he had ended up there. That wasn't big on his list of concerns, though. He had bigger problems.
Why were Jack and Holly acting so strangely? The first day they really seemed to like him, but now they didn't seem to want to be around him anymore. They weren't making him leave, but it felt like they were only tolerating him.
"Did I do something wrong?" he quietly wondered aloud. He couldn't think of anything, but he knew he must have done something to upset them. Maybe this was their way of telling him they didn't want him. Where would he go if he couldn't live here? He had heard of kids being passed around like a hot potato in the foster system, until they got too old and had to go out on their own. Was that to be his fate? He just wanted a family, he didn't want to be alone anymore.
He heard the others arguing in his head about something, and he took a little comfort in knowing that at least he had his imaginary friends with him. They would never leave, so he would never be completely alone. Still though, he wanted more than imaginary friends. He wanted real people to love him, people he hadn't made up. He hoped he could change their minds and win them over, he really liked them. He hoped they would let him stay.
Three days later, Mike and Holly were in the waiting room at a pediatrician's office. The doctor asked Mike a series of questions and ran a battery of tests, including an x-ray at Holly's request. She hoped this would answer some of her questions. He was very nervous about the whole thing, but she assured him he had nothing to be afraid of.
Afterwards, the doctor spoke to them both.
"Mike, you say you're eight years old, but all these tests show that you are no younger than ten."
"How can that be? I know how old I am, I'm eight."
"Have you ever been in any accidents?"
"I don't think so."
"There are multiple scars on your bones from old breakages. Did your parents hurt you, son?"
"I don't know. I don't know who my parents are, or where they are. Why don't I know who they are? Why don't I know anything?"
Mike was beginning to panic, and Holly took his hand and squeezed it. She had expected him to flinch or pull away, but he relaxed a little and squeezed her hand back.
"It's all right, Mike," said Holly. "We're going to get through this, okay?"
He took a deep breath. "Okay."
The doctor concluded that overall Mike was healthy, though a bit malnourished. He prescribed vitamins, and gave him a few shots. Mike really didn't like this part, but Holly let him squeeze her hand to distract him from it. She could tell he was more upset over the fact that he couldn't remember anything beyond his first name than he was about the shots, but she didn't know how to help him. She felt so sorry for him, not only did he have this disorder and not only did he have amnesia, but he had had two years of his life stolen, two years he could never get back.
That Thursday, Holly was going to take Mike to see a child psychiatrist. Before they went, Mike asked Holly if she could give him a haircut.
"It's in my eyes, I can barely see. I could put it in a ponytail if I wanted."
"You've come to the right place, it's my job to cut hair."
She sat him down in front of a mirror and asked, "How much do you want off?"
"I'm not sure, just start cutting and I'll tell you when to stop."
She started snipping away and dark brown locks fell around her feet. She cut until his hair no longer fell around his face, and he stopped her. She took a brush and tried to smooth his hair down, but there was no controlling it. It stood up in spikes.
"Well, your hair is impossible, but I like it. Not many people can pull off a look like this, but I think it suits you."
"You really think so?"
"You're very handsome," she said, and kissed him on the cheek. Mike looked at himself in the mirror; with his new t-shirt and jeans, and his new haircut, he didn't look bad at all.
After his haircut, they left to go see the doctor. She was lucky to have gotten an appointment so soon. When they called him back, Mike looked to Holly pleadingly.
"You're coming in with me, right?"
"This is supposed to be just between you and the doctor."
"You came in with me at the last one, why not this one?"
The doctor came out to meet them. She wore a light gray skirt with a white blouse, and she had half-moon glasses on her nose. She had olive skin and inky black hair pulled back in a bun. She smiled when she saw him.
"Hello there, are you Mike?"
He nodded reluctantly and tried to hide behind Holly.
"If you wouldn't mind Mrs. Skinner, you are allowed to come in. I'd prefer if you not say anything while we talk, but you can come in to provide support until Mike is ready to come in on his own."
"Thank you," said Holly. Mike let out a sigh of relief and followed the doctor into her office. There was a couch and an armchair, and there were some potted plants here and there. The floor was hardwood, and the walls were painted light blue. There was a painting of a waterfall at night in the center, and it all made for a relaxing setting.
"Mike, my name is Dr. Aria Lace," said the doctor after they had taken their seats. The doctor took the armchair, and Mike and Holly sat on the couch. Mike didn't curl up in a ball, but he hugged his arms around his stomach.
Holly had seen reviews of her from other people online, and they all said she was very good at her job. They also said she was patient and kind, which was what she was really looking for.
"If you don't mind, Mike, I'll be recording our session so I can study it more later."
"I went to a doctor a few days ago, he said I'm healthy. He already did a lot of tests, I don't know what more you could do."
"I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm here to talk to you about your imaginary friends."
This was odd, why would she want to know about them? "What do you want to know about them?"
"How long have you had them?"
"I don't really remember anything before they found me on that road, but I know I had them before then, I just don't know how long."
"How many do you have? Most children just have one."
"Four. Wait, five. No, four, definitely four."
"Do they have names?"
"Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba Smith." It occurred to him that maybe it was his imaginary friend's fault that Jack and Holly were acting so strangely. He was kind of old to be playing pretend, this doctor would probably tell him he needed to give up his made-up friends. He wouldn't argue, it was about time he grew up. He would miss them, but if it made Jack and Holly like him more and want to keep him, then it would be worth it.
"Do they ever talk to you?"
Mike looked down, ashamed to answer. Holly took his hand and gave it a squeeze, and he got the courage to speak.
"Yes, they do. A lot. But I don't mind, it's nice to have someone to talk to."
"Do they ever make you do things?"
"They want me to do stuff, but I just ignore it, usually. I mean, some things I'll do to make them happy, but I'm not about to go join a ballerina class, or try to get a girl's number."
"Do you ever feel like you're not yourself, or do you ever wake up somewhere and not remember how you got there?"
"Sometimes. I just have a bad memory, that's all." He wondered why she was asking all these questions, but he wasn't worried. He knew what she would say and he would do it.
"I see. Mrs. Skinner, from the information you gave me on the phone, and after talking to Mike, I do believe he has Dissociative Identity Disorder, or Multiple Personality Disorder, as it is more often called."
"What does that mean?" asked Mike. That wasn't what he had expected at all. "Is that a disease? Am I sick? Is there something wrong with me?"
"No Mike, you're not sick," said Dr. Lace. "It just means that you have several identities that you talk to or switch between. It happens when a child is put under too much stress and trauma and, in order to cope, the brain creates new identities to take on the stress until the child is ready to cope with it. However, the identities usually outlive the stress, and don't go away even after they are no longer needed. It's quite rare, but you're not alone."
"What does that mean, exactly?" said Mike, growing more and more worried. He started squeezing Holly's hand without realizing he was doing it.
"Mike, sometimes these other identities, or personalities, will take control of your body away from you, and you will lose most or all awareness. When you regain control, you have no memory of what has happened, and you don't know how much time has passed. I believe this is why you don't remember where you came from, and why you think you're eight when you're actually ten. Your personalities must have had most of the control for the last two years. Many people with this disorder don't remember having abusive childhoods, but I've never heard of someone losing all memory of their past because of it. This is very intriguing, and I'll try to help you access those memories in our sessions together. But Mike, do not think this makes you insane. You are not."
"I read that there's no cure for it," said Holly. "Is that true?"
"We can treat it with therapy and with medication to help him deal with any anxiety or depression brought on by it, but no, there is no cure. One day he may be able to integrate and unify his personalities into one, but there's no guarantee of that. The best we can do is help him manage it and lead a semi-normal life, but it won't be easy. He will need to see me at least once every two weeks, although once a week would be ideal."
"No!" Mike shouted suddenly, startling them both. He stood up and said, "I do not have a mental disorder! They're just imaginary friends, I'll get rid of them, I'll make them go away, I promise! There's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine!"
"Calm down, Mike," said Holly, but he wasn't listening.
"I know it's hard to accept, but we're going to help you."
"I don't need help! A lot of kids have imaginary friends, and they're fine! I'm fine too! Holly, don't you believe me?"
Holly hated herself for this, but the sooner he accepted the truth, the sooner he could begin to accept it. "Mike, the night we had spaghetti, when we turned on the Olympics, Svetlana came out and started doing gymnastics in the living room. After she was done, you came back, but you didn't remember any of what had happened."
"No," he whispered as his face filled with despair.
Tears pricked her eyes. Seeing his anguish hurt her more than she thought it would. "And the reason we had to leave the mall early was because Vito took over. He was causing a commotion and we had to get out of there. We didn't know how to bring you back, and so he was in control for several hours."
"That's impossible."
"Sweetheart, I wish it wasn't true, and I wish more than anything I could take this from you, but I can't. You have to accept it, you have MPD."
"No, no I won't listen!" Mike yelled, becoming more and more agitated. "They're imaginary, they're not real! They're not real!"
Mike blinked, it only seemed to last a second. When he closed his eyes he was standing in front of the couch, and when he opened them he was sitting in a corner of the room, curled up in the fetal position.
"How did I get over here?" he asked.
"Mike, repeat to me the last thing you said," said Dr. Lace. She was crouched down by his side with a hand on his shoulder, while Holly was standing several feet away and facing the other direction. His first thought was that he must have done something to make her angry. She turned to look at him when she heard him speak. Dr. Lace looked concerned but still professional, Holly looked very worried and upset.
"I said my imaginary friends aren't real."
"That was a half hour ago."
"That can't be right."
"You said a lot of things, would you like to hear the recording of what happened?"
"No," said Holly firmly. "Absolutely not, he shouldn't hear that."
"I want to hear it," said Mike as he stood to his feet. He sat back down in his seat, feeling very apprehensive.
"Mike, it will only frighten and upset you even more."
"Mrs. Skinner, with all due respect, in order for Mike to come to grips with this, he needs to face the truth."
"Play the tape," said Mike, scared but determined.
Dr. Lace started the recording, and Mike listened intently. As Mike listened to the recording, Holly texted Jack, You need to get home as soon as possible. Mike just found out he has MPD and he's taking it very hard.
"They're not real!" Mike in the recording gasped, and another voice took his place. "Ooh, I've never been here before. I love new places."
"Mike?" said Holly.
"Oh, I'm not Michael, but I'll pretend to be him so you don't feel bad. I like pretending."
"That's very kind of you," said Dr. Lace. "But I wouldn't mind talking to you for a while."
"Really? You want to talk to me?" This voice was very energetic and childlike, it sounded like a five year old.
"Yes, I do. Do you have a name?"
"My mama forgot to give me one, but that's okay. She says I'm a smart little boy, because I already know my alphabet and I can count to ten. She gets me lots of toys because she loves me so much. Have you seen my toy collection? I have race cars and action figures, all kinds of things."
"You're very sweet. You know, I have some toys that you can play with. They're in the toybox behind the couch."
He gasped, and Mike heard running footsteps. He opened the box and squealed in delight.
"You like the teddy bear and the frog, I see. Give them both a big hug."
"I can jump like a frog, you wanna see?"
"I would love to see that, but do you think you could tell me where Mike is?"
"Michael is really scared, he doesn't want to play anymore. He's probably going to play with Vito or Svetlana."
"How does Mike know Vito and Svetlana?"
"They're his friends. He's my friend, too."
"Mrs. Skinner told me that Vito spent a lot of time exercising, and Mike felt sore afterwards. How could he feel it if you're all different people?"
"I take very good care of my toys. I polish them and keep them clean, I don't leave them outside in the rain, and I fix them when they're broken. They all still look new."
"Are you all related somehow? Cousins, maybe?"
"I live in a big white house with pink roses growing around it, that's where I keep my toys."
"Perhaps you're all part of the same person."
"No, that's silly, you're silly!" he laughed.
"It is possible that you're all aspects of one person, all pieces of Mike."
"But how could that be? You see me, I'm just Michael's friend. Look here in the mirror. You can see I have red hair, I'm the only one in my family that does. I don't even look like I'm part of the family, they call me Carrot Top. Michael doesn't have red hair, he has brown hair, so we can't be the same person."
"Is Mike ready to come back out yet?"
He gasped again, and he heard the sound of the toys falling onto the floor. An angry voice shouted, "I hate Michael, I hate him!"
"Why do you hate him?"
"His mommy always hurts him and he makes me get hurt in his place. She keeps me locked away where I can't see anything. It's cold and dark and I'm starving and she doesn't let me out no matter how much I beg!" He started crying and he said, "I can't see, I can't see anything, not even my hands in front of my face."
"Where does she keep you?"
"In the broom closet. It's so dark, I'm scared of the dark."
"I'm going to let you out."
"The door's locked."
"I have the key. Listen." He heard a door open. "I've opened the door, you can some out now. Can you see? Is the dark gone?"
"Yeah, but she's gonna put me back in! I have to get out before she gets me again!"
"Mike sweetie, stay back from the window!" said Holly.
"There she is, Mommy's right there and she's gonna do it again!"
He started banging on the window and Dr. Lace said, "Don't break the window Mike, the broken glass would hurt your hands." He heard her footsteps moving closer to him in the recording. "Mike, what you're afraid of isn't happening anymore, you don't have to be scared here, you don't need to escape. That happened in the past, this is the present. We're in the present, your mother is in the past. She can't hurt you anymore."
"Yes she can, she will if you don't get her away from me!" He was hyperventilating now.
"It's okay Mike, don't be scared," said Holly. He screamed, and Mike couldn't make out what he said after that, he was so hysterical he couldn't speak coherently.
"Mrs. Skinner, I know this is difficult for you, but you mustn't touch him when he's in this state. I need you to turn around so he can't see your face."
"She's gonna do it again! She shot me!"
"She shot you?"
"At the doctor, she let them shoot me."
"Oh, I see. The doctor gave you a shot, didn't he? And you didn't know why it was happening, that must have been very scary. I know that must have hurt a lot, I don't like shots either. But they keep you from getting sick, they keep you healthy. I had a flu shot last year, and you know what happened?"
"What?"
"I didn't get the flu, I didn't get sick."
"What's your name?"
"Dr. Lace."
"You're a doctor? You're going to shoot me!"
"No, I'm not going to shoot you. Doctors don't want to hurt you, they want to help you feel better. But you can call me Miss Aria, instead. Is that better?"
"Yeah."
"Good. Can I be your friend?"
"Yeah."
"I'm so glad we can be friends. And what can I call you?
"She's gonna put me in the dark again," he wailed. "I can't get out, why can't I get out? I'm stuck here and no one will help me, I'm going to be trapped here forever. I'm suffocating, I'm running out of air."
"You see this room we're in? This is a safe room, where nothing can get in and hurt us."
"It's safe?"
"Yes, you're protected here. You can trust me, Mike, as long as you're with me your mother can't hurt you. I'll keep her away."
"You promise?"
"I promise. Now, this woman in here with us is not your mother, and I want you to see her, okay? She won't hurt you, she wants to keep you safe just like I do. Will you look at her?"
"Okay," he said, finally starting to calm down.
"Come here, let's walk away from the window together. Would you like to hold my hand? That's it, as long as you're holding my hand nothing can hurt you. You're being very brave, it makes me happy to see you being so brave. Slowly, one step at a time, there's no rush. Okay, let's stop here. Now Mrs. Skinner, slowly turn around and face us."
A second passed, and then he started screaming, "You promised! You promised you'd keep me safe and she's right there, you brought her back! I want her dead and I want Michael dead!" He started speaking in a slightly higher tone but with a growl, replaying his mother's words like a tape recorder. "Don't tell anyone what your father did, you keep it secret or you'll get in big trouble! You tell them you fell down the stairs again, if they find out what happened you'll have a lot worse than a broken arm. Be glad your father loves us so much, you should be grateful you even have a father! You bad, spoiled boy, do you want to end up like Jake and Lizzie? Keep it up and you will! Bad things happen to bad boys, you make us have to punish you! You're a liar, just like your father! We wouldn't have to punish you if you would just do what you know you're supposed to! Stop talking to yourself all the time, you can't talk to people who aren't there! You bad, bad boy! Don't leave me Mike, we only do it because we love you. We only do it because we love you…"
"Mrs. Skinner, turn back around. I'm so sorry I scared you Mike, I pushed you too far too fast. It's okay to be scared, I get scared too sometimes. We're going to work on it though, okay? I'm going to help you not be afraid anymore."
"You broke your promise."
"I did, and I'm sorry, but I'm still your friend. Look, your mother's gone, it's just you and me now."
"Just us?"
"Yes, just you and me in the safe room."
In real time, Dr. Lace said, "This is when you curled up in the corner."
On the recording he said, "Daddy's coming home, he's coming home and he's going to hurt me too. Why does everything have to hurt so much?"
"Your father's not here, we're in the safe room, remember? He can't get you in here."
He was still crying, and he said, "Michael gets to go to school and play, I always have to stay in the dark where it's scary."
"Mike didn't put you in there, your mother and father did. If they're the ones that hurt you, shouldn't you be mad at them, and not Mike?"
"I hate him so much." He started whimpering. "I can't see anything, it's so dark. I hate the dark…"
Dr. Lace turned off the recording and said, "After that you wouldn't say anymore. You stayed curled up like that for five minutes before coming back. I'm very sorry, Mike."
Mike noticed that his cheeks were wet and his throat scratchy, but he couldn't remember crying or yelling. What he'd heard on that tape was horrifying and unbelievable. "That was really me?"
"Yes, it was."
"That didn't sound like any of my imaginary friends."
"You may have other alternate personalities that you're not yet aware of. You became so agitated that it brought out lesser personalities that aren't as developed. We'll work more on this in therapy, but we've already made a good deal of progress for a first session. Mrs. Skinner, schedule an appointment for no later than two weeks from today. In the meantime, I'll consult with some of my colleagues to see what the best medication would be for him to take."
"Thank you. Come on, Mike."
Mike and Holly left the office, and she scheduled another appointment for the next week. Mike stood by her with his arms wrapped around himself. He wouldn't speak anymore.
Holly was impressed with the way the doctor had handled his personalities, it made her feel more comfortable letting her treat Mike. But she couldn't get over the fact that when that alternate personality looked at her, it thought it was seeing Mike's biological mother. This proved that he was from an abusive home. It hurt her to see him look at her with such terror and contempt. What did that woman do to him that made him like this? It made her furious that that woman would hurt the wonderful son she was blessed with so terribly, while she couldn't have even one child. Why was the world so unfair?
In his head, Mike heard a voice telling him he was crazy. It was Mal, and though he sounded familiar to him, he didn't recognize him. He said, "I always knew you were loony bird, and I was right. You lost your marbles a long time ago, you just couldn't see it until now. They'll call you Mike the Maniac, and you know what happens to crazy people. Say hello to life as a reject." He laughed at him, making Mike cringe.
Mal kept up the verbal assault, making the already bad diagnosis even worse, and making Mike even more upset and angry than he already was. He couldn't accept this. He felt fine, he didn't feel crazy at all. But what did crazy feel like, really? How was he to know? The doctor must have made some mistake, because he felt normal. He couldn't accept what he'd heard on the tape. Even though all the evidence was against him and proved that what the doctor said was true, he rejected it with everything in him. He was angry and hurt that Holly thought he was insane, and now Jack would think so, too. Everyone would think he was crazy because a doctor said so.
When they got home, Jack had left work early and was waiting for them. Mike still wasn't talking, and he had a dark scowl on his face.
"Hey buddy, come sit down on the couch," said Jack gently when they came in the door. Mike wordlessly sat down, and he wouldn't look at either of them.
"How are you holding up?"
"Don't listen to her, I'm not crazy!"
"Mike, no one thinks you're crazy," said Holly. "The doctor even said so herself."
"But I'm not normal, so I might as well be. My life is over!"
Mike stood off the couch and started kicking it repeatedly. They watched as rage filled his face as he kicked it harder and harder. He turned to the mantle, which had snowglobes, picture frames, and the antique vase that had been handed down to them from Jack's grandmother as a wedding gift.
He picked up a snowglobe and threw it at a wall, shattering it. Holly started to get up to stop him, but then stopped herself. These were just material things, things that wouldn't last. She loved them, but Mike was more important. This was an awful fate that had been thrust onto him by the people who had abused and tortured him. He was just a child, and he would spend the rest of his life trying to cope with an incurable condition that had the potential to ruin him. Anyone would be angry in his position, and she found that she wanted to get up there and help him break her things. He needed to take out this anger before they could begin working through this, and if it meant sacrificing her precious things, so be it.
He smashed all her snowglobes and broke the glass in every frame. He then lifted the vase off the mantle and Holly said, "Yes, smash it!"
"Smash it to pieces!" said Jack.
And he did. He threw the vase at the floor and it broke in pieces. Once there was nothing left to destroy, he calmed down, and realized what he had just done.
"I'm sorry!" he said, horrified. "I don't know what I was thinking, I just couldn't stop myself. I was just so angry, I needed to break something. I'll pay you back somehow, I swear. I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it, sweetie. Jack and I have collected a lot of junk over the years, we've been needing to go through it and get rid of some of it. You've done us a favor."
"Do you feel better now, sport?"
"No, no I don't. But maybe… maybe if I do what the doctor says, go to therapy and take my medicine, it'll go away soon. It will go away, right?"
"No sweetheart. It might go away one day, but the best we can hope for is to make it manageable."
"It's not fair!" cried Mike, and he gasped. He hunched over and said, "Quit your whining, it's not the end of the world! Dang fool kids, always getting worked up over nothing!"
Jack and Holly watched with pity. They weren't sure what exactly had triggered this personality, but his current emotional state must have had something to do with it. Whatever the cause, it was hard to watch, because it meant Mike couldn't even deal with his emotions without another personality taking over.
Mike took back control quickly this time, but he realized what had happened.
"It happened again, didn't it?"
They could only nod yes.
He buried his face in his hands and ran up the stairs to his room and slammed the door shut.
"What are we going to do?" asked Holly as they started picking up the pieces of broken glass. She felt a tear run down her face, she felt so sorry for him.
"I don't know. I just don't know."
In his room, Mike took his pillow and screamed into it. He had never felt this angry before; he was angry at the doctor for the diagnosis, angry at himself for losing control and breaking things that weren't his, and angry at his alternate personalities for doing this to him.
Screaming into the pillow let out some of the anger and helped him calm down, and he laid down on the bed and curled up, holding himself tight. He felt like crying, but he was still in too much shock to cry.
"Do not being sad, Mike," said Svetlana from inside his head. "Living vith us is not so bad. Ve vill help you. Svetlana vill take care of any physical challenge."
"And you've got me to take you on adventures!"
"And you've got me to help you with the ladies."
"I don't want any of you, not anymore."
"But Mike, we're your friends, mate."
"Ve are like family!"
"I'm a freak because of you! Why do you have to take over my body, it's mine!"
"This is the only body we got, kid!" said Chester.
"Yeah, it's not like we got a lot of options here, bro. You don't actually expect us to stay inside forever, do you? We need time to breathe."
"And it is not like ve can be leaving. You brought us here, you made us, and so ve must be sharing zis body. Ve are deserving to use it as much as you."
"You were supposed to just be my imaginary friends, you were never supposed to be real."
"It's not like we chose this, mate."
"I'm insane. I can't remember anything and I have other people living inside my head. They're going to put me in a straightjacket in a padded cell, they'll keep me there the rest of my life."
"Let us hope not, zat place vas terrible."
"How would you know, Svetlana?" She gave no answer. "I'm not going to let them lock me in the nuthouse, I'm going to keep you inside my head, I'm going to learn to stay in control all the time."
"Good luck with that, dang punk."
"Do you really hate us so much, Mike?" asked Svetlana. "Are ve really so terrible?"
"Yes."
"Fine zen, have it your vay. Ve vill be coming out, zis is our body as much as it is yours."
"Just try to keep us out, ya dingo. I want to see you try to keep the great Manitoba Smith down."
Mike didn't talk to them anymore. He felt bad for what he had said, they were still his only friends, but they had made him into a psycho. He wondered if he had ever been normal, or if he had been born with them. The doctor said what he had was caused by trauma, but he couldn't remember anything bad happening to him. Of course, he couldn't remember anything at all, but still. He hoped his new doctor could help him remember, so maybe he could understand why he was this way.
He realized that this was why Jack and Holly had acted weird around him, they had known he was a freak all along but hadn't told him until now. Now they would never want him, no one would. He would never have a family, he would always be alone.
In spite of everything, he was able to sleep. His body was still catching up on rest. But that night was when the nightmares started, nightmares that would haunt him almost every night after.
The others started talking inside his head as he was drifting off.
"Welp, mystery solved," said Manitoba.
"I always thought Mike was like an alien or somethin, I guess this makes more sense," shrugged Vito.
"Ve need to decide how much ve are going to let Mike know. Ve know about vat happened to him before, but I zink ve shouldn't be telling him."
"Why not? Then we wouldn't have to listen to him whine about not knowing where he came from," said Chester.
"It vould hurt him too much, and it vould do him no good, anyvay. He should start over vith a clean slate, he vill be happier zis vay."
"He don't seem too happy now. Don't see why, when he's got a great adventurer with him," said Manitoba.
"But most importantly, ve must make sure zat Mal does not escape, and ve should not be telling Mike about him, either."
"Now that's just asking for trouble," said Chester.
"What if Mal gets loose, shouldn't Mike know so he can be ready? Not that he could do much against Mal, unlike me," asked Vito.
"Mal is never getting free again, ze chain is too strong, he is powerless as long as it is on him. Ve vill tell Mike if he becomes a threat again, but only zen."
The others agreed, they didn't care about Mike as much as Svetlana did and so it didn't really matter to them either way. Svetlana left the others to go off by herself for a while. Manitoba and Vito were already back to arguing over who was tougher, and she had no wish to talk to Chester. She went off a ways, not far though, none of them ever wandered off too far.
She started practicing her gymnastics when one of the half-formed alters approached her. She was so startled she actually lost her balance and fell, a first for her. Those things never came this close, and she wondered what it could possibly want.
"Get avay from me," she told it sharply. She picked herself up off the ground and held herself with dignity.
"I need to tell you something."
She had to do a double take, that was the most intelligent thing she'd ever heard come out of one of these alters. This one was particularly hideous, but its level of intelligence was higher than the others.
"Vat is it?"
"It's about the scary one." She noticed how deep this alter's voice was. How lucid it sounded, too.
"You mean Mal?"
"Yes. What do you know about him? How did he start out?"
"He started out blank, as a vay to take ze pain from Mike so he vouldn't have to suffer so much, but it made him go rotten."
"Not exactly. That's what he wants you to think, because he hates the truth. You know Michael had a brother, Jacob."
"Yes, he died."
"Mike accidentally brought him back as one of us, and he turned into the one you call Mal."
"You are making zat up, or you are being a confused. Zat is not vat happened."
"Mal made you forget, but he didn't make me or the others like me forget. He didn't think he would need to, since we're not a threat to him. He used to be nice because he thought he was Michael's brother, but then he found out that he's not, and it hurt him so much that he got twisted into this."
"Svetlana does not believe you."
Before she could stop him or get away, he grabbed her hand and she saw images flash before her eyes, and she saw that what he had told her was the truth. He released her after only one second had passed, but she could see how doing that had drained him.
For a few seconds she couldn't help but pity Mal, what had happened to him wasn't his fault. He had been a lost, scared little boy like Mike, trying to fight an unwinnable battle by protecting him, and was twisted by the life forced upon him. But her sympathy was overtaken by her intense anger and hatred at him for what he had done. His past didn't excuse what he had done to them and to everyone else he had hurt. Still though, it made her feel a little sorry for him.
"Vat is Svetlana supposed to be doing vith zis information?"
"Most of the others like me blame Michael for our pain, they hate him, they want him to die. But I know it wasn't Michael's fault, it was his daddy who hurt us, and now it's Mal, who is worse than his daddy was. They hate Michael and they want him gone, they don't understand that we need him to survive."
"Why are you telling Svetlana and not Manitoba or Chester or Vito?"
"It was your idea to keep the truth from him before, things might not have ended in disaster if he had known sooner."
"How vas I to know zat vould happen? Mal never showed signs of becoming like zis before, I zought I vas doing ze right zing in keeping him from knowing ze truth. But Mike is different, he isn't like Mal. Keeping ze secret from him von't drive him mad like it did Mal.
"Mike doesn't even know he ever had a brother, telling him vouldn't help him, especially if Mal is locked avay for good. I don't vant to see Mike hurt anymore, he has a chance now to start over vith a clean slate and have a good life, he does not need to know about his old one. Ze burden is no longer his to bear, he has been put through too much already, Svetlana vill protect him by keeping zis secret. If keeping ze truth from him protects him, zen I vill do it. Not to mention, Mal vould probably kill me if he found out zat I know his secret now. Svetlana von't tell ze others either; if Mal escapes he could take our memories again, or he could be killing us. And maybe I could use zis secret against him someday."
"If you think that's best, then do it. I thought someone should know." The alter turned and started hobbling away, back to where the other alters like him stayed.
"Vait!" she called after it. "Do you… do you have a name?"
"None of us do," it replied without stopping.
Svetlana didn't know what to make of the thing, it unsettled her. She started thinking about Mal again, and what she had just learned. Part of her wanted to believe that Mal was redeemable, that maybe the part of him that had once dedicated itself to helping Mike was still there. But she knew it would be foolish to try, he couldn't be trusted after what he had done. He probably couldn't be redeemed anyway, he liked being this way. He was a lost cause, but Mike wasn't, so she would not forgive Mal for what he had done. She only hoped that she was right, and that the chain would hold forever.
Mal was still wide awake in Mike's mind, as always. He was thinking about what he had learned today. So, Mike had multiple personalities, after all these years the mystery was finally solved. Now he knew the name, and now he finally knew what he was. For years he had believed himself to be Mike's little brother and his guardian angel, when in reality he had never been anything more than just a product of mental illness.
Just the thought of Jake made him furious. He showed no sign of it on the outside, but on the inside he was burning with rage. If Jake hadn't died, Mal never would have existed. Perhaps none of them would have, and Mike never would have developed the disorder in the first place. So it seemed that the years of abuse and neglect hadn't caused all this. They had been laying the foundation for it, but in the end it was the death of his brother that was the catalyst. Mal's entire existence was a coping mechanism, he never had been Mike's little brother, as he had made him believe. Mike had given him all the memories he had of Jake because he was crazy. Mal was nobody, he wasn't even a real person, none of them were. Instead of upsetting him, the realization just made him laugh. Oh, how insane Mike must be to have resurrected his brother in this way, and now he would never be rid of him, not for good, anyway.
But he couldn't stand Jack and Holly. With them, Mike would never have to worry about Jack hitting him or Holly locking him in the dark for hours on end. He would always have enough to eat, he wouldn't want for anything. He wouldn't have to live in fear anymore, he would be safe, he could actually be happy here. Mike didn't deserve such kindness. Mal had taken all of his memories away to protect him, so that maybe he could stop suffering and be normal, but he was still disturbed and broken. Nothing he ever did or could have done amounted to anything, Mike would always be just a pathetic shell of a person, with five other persons living within him.
He couldn't move, couldn't get free. The chains were too strong, and there was no way he could ever convince any of the others to free him. He had begun to resent Mike two years ago, but he hadn't outright hated him then. He wouldn't have tried to fix him if he had. But now he loathed Mike, he wanted him to suffer, he wanted him to die.
If he ever got free of these chains, he would destroy Mike.