A/N: What's up everyone? I hope you're all great! Also…HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVORITE EX-ESPADA NELIEL! Today's chapter will include a little hurrah in honor of this occasion. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any other copyrighted material.
Lie To Me Chpt. 10
As I woke up slowly being pulled into a state of consciousness I was serenaded by the sound of birds chirping in the distance. A fragrant yet dull scent of lilac filling my nostrils as I breathed in the morning air feeling rested. Clean white sheets hugged around my body swaddling me in complete and udder security. I slowly cracked open an eye and found myself puzzled. Where exactly was I? I didn't dare move. Had I been kidnapped by some robber in the night? I inhaled slowly trying to calm down and think rationally. Robbers didn't have houses that smelled so nice did they? I relaxed when I realized I'd fallen asleep at Ulquiorra's. Yet shortly after this realization I shot upright my palms slapping against my reddening cheeks. I fell asleep in Ulquiorra's apartment.
"Good morning, Ms. Inoue." I shrieked and landed face first on the hardwood.
"Ouch." I mumbled rubbing the sore area of impact on my skull. I slowly stood up recalling the events from last night. Ulquiorra had played so beautifully that I'd fallen asleep, his magical hands stroking the chords so effortlessly. I definitely wanted to hear him play again. I hoped he didn't consider it rude that I had fallen into glorious slumber at his doing. I looked down and realized I was still wearing my scrubs from the previous day, so nothing had happened between…us…right? Subconsciously I stroked my hands through my tussled hair trying to make it presentable. I shook my head as scandalous images ran through my weary mind of me and a certain violinist.
"Are you alright Ms. Inoue? You look a little flushed." I swatted his pale hand away.
"I-I'm fine Ulquiorra really!" He looked unsure but dropped the subject anyway. He was dressed rather dashingly I noticed. His slender yet admirable form was clad in a faded white button down and black dress pants. He had even tucked it in. He was kind of like a prince.
Wow, I must have really hit the deep sleep because I was thinking crazy things.
"Um…so when did…" I stammered unsure of how to phrase this awkward burning question.
"I assure you nothing unwholesome took place last night. You merely fell asleep whilst I played for you." I sighed, relieved. He turned away from me and then stopped on his stride towards the kitchen. His hands were tucked into his pockets and he rotated towards me slightly while still facing away.
"You were quite…tired." His statement was posed as more of a question than an observation. I could guess from his so-what-the-heck-is-going-on-with-you look that he was seeking out an answer. I shifted uncomfortably unsure of whether I wanted to tell Ulquiorra about the rent situation or not. I really didn't like burdening other people with my problems. Sure, I didn't mind some help every once in a while. But something like this was something I needed to deal with. I was grateful to him for letting me sleep soundly throughout the night though. I had almost reached my limit, and was relieved that I hadn't said anything major while I wasn't in my right mind. I mean nothing good can be said when you haven't slept correctly in like two weeks right?
Besides I was on my own now. That conclusion which Ulquiorra and the notice helped me realize was enough to help me understand that being alone isn't a terrible thing. I needed to grow. I needed to sort out my conflicted feelings and heal. I had been on my own before, and lived alone. I would find a way to make the rent every month. Even if that meant cutting back hours at the hospital and taking on a second job. Maybe once that was taken care of I could think about other things. Ulquiorra certainly didn't need or want to carry my weight for me.
"I was but I'm fine now." I replied smiling stupidly at my well-rested epiphany. He simply nodded and continued on towards his kitchen.
"I have to tell you something."
Rukia sat in a nearly vacant coffee shop her legs crossed tightly underneath the table. An empty chair stared at her from across and she gazed through her violet blue eyes out the window, staring absently at a little boy walking with his mother hand in hand, those words staining her lids every time she blinked.
He was late.
Of course Ichigo wasn't particularly known for his promptness in the first place. Yet it was unsettling. Here they were still in cahoots with each other after all the terrible sins they'd committed yet she regretted nothing. In fact she missed him. She missed the feeling of his weight on top of her and the feeling of his hair as she ran her fingers through it. She missed the way he said her name like it was something he craved for. And most of all she missed the 'I love you' he would whisper to her when he thought she wasn't listening. Even though his words were empty when he'd said it and they'd brushed over her without a second thought the first time she'd heard them, they had come to mean something more.
She wanted desperately to hear those words again.
She wanted to be craved, and wanted.
She wanted to be the first choice for once.
"Why the sad look pipsqueak?" she pulled her absent gaze away from the street view and stared into the brown eyes of the tall orange-haired man before her.
"I'm not sad you idiot." She replied, hostility flaring in her inflection.
Ichigo took the empty seat and looked her straight in the eye. She averted hers elsewhere not being able to take the intensity his held. Normally she would have faced them head on yet she felt so insignificantly small. She didn't like the tone he'd used earlier when over the phone he'd said there was something urgent he needed to say. She had a feeling that she was about to receive the 'it's not you, it's me' speech.
"Rukia." She met his gaze briefly.
"Look at me." She did as she was commanded fearful that he might pick up on her distress. She hated feeling helpless yet that was exactly what she was overcome by. She didn't want to be cast aside.
"Ichigo…what did you have to tell me?" Her voice betrayed her outward indifference. He picked up on this and gave a soft smile at her concern. She felt frustrated by this. Did he think messing with her feelings was that amusing? She wasn't something to be stomped on by his big clumsy feet.
"If you're worried I'm about to tell you that I don't need you, you're being an idiot." He said painstakingly blunt.
While normally his condescending tone would have irritated her she was overcome in relief that he wasn't done with them. She knew his somewhat rude way of putting words was to reassure her of his intentions.
"But…" she felt her breath hitch in her throat and gripped the edge of the table a little tighter in anticipation for his following words, the brief relief she felt flying out the window.
"I am leaving." He finished. She swallowed down the lump in her throat.
"For how long?" He leaned back in his chair running a hand through his orange locks.
"I don't know yet." She preceded to listen to Ichigo tell her about the wonderful opportunity that their CEO Kisuke Urahara had offered him. Upon hearing and processing his divorce papers he as elusive as he was decided to give Ichigo a chance to get out. They would travel to America and various places in Europe to keep a hold on the firms which were a 'tricky business' apparently. There wasn't really a time limit on the trip and all expenses would be sent to the firm's vast money pits. So he was basically going on an all-expenses paid vacation from work.
While she knew she should have been happy for him she felt really upset. She wanted him to stay here and be with her as clingy as it sounded. There was something so comforting and completing about being with Ichigo that she hadn't really felt before. She bit her lip holding back her stupid useless feelings. Shut up and be happy for him you idiot. She cursed herself.
"Rukia." She looked back at him again.
"I need this." She was confused by his wording.
"What do you mean, Ichigo?" she replied tentatively.
He stood and offered her a hand pulling her from the hardwood chair. He wordlessly scrambled together a few yen and left them on the tan-stained wooden table as they walked out. He was so strange sometimes in the way he liked to tell her things.
"Things between you and me didn't start off in a good way." He began as they walked along the sidewalk of the streets.
"So you're saying you never want to see me again am I right?" she bit off.
"Rukia, just listen to me for once and don't get upset okay?" she stopped scowling and looked to him, he wasn't usually this serious.
"When I was about 9 my mom died in a freak accident. Remember me telling you about that?" she recalled the time before they'd first well you know…when Ichigo had been so in pain it seemed. His eyes held a light like she'd never seen. His normal deep set determination and drive had gone away and was replaced by a gnawing emptiness. The kinds of which she'd seen in herself. That feeling was all too familiar for her comfort. It was a feeling that never went away. It stayed with you like a shadow. Lingering behind your back until the right moment when you can't see it and it surprises you. He'd spilled out that it was the anniversary of the day his mother had died. He had spilled out all the details of the hit and run and told Rukia about how it had affected his family.
They'd grown up without the nurturer they needed. Ichigo had all responsibilities to uphold and support they're wavering unit together. His dad was a wreck sometimes going days without speaking a word and staring aimlessly at pictures of his beautiful deceased wife. This sudden shift of burdens had robbed Ichigo of his childhood and left him with the mindset it was all on him all the time. It made him think he had no one to turn too when things got rough because he couldn't be a burden on his grieving relatives any further. She knew that mindset very well and the terrible anxiety it brought with it. She'd experienced it in her own dysfunctional family.
She'd reached out her hands to his tense body while they sat in his office, his breathing increasing rapidly as an anxiety attack was beginning to take over as his sentences turned into desperate gasps for air. He and Orihime had gotten into an argument and his case had fallen through. He had made a minor mistake that sent an innocent man to prison for a years' worth of unnecessary time. Ichigo was overwhelmed in his own guilt. Guilt for making his wife feel bad, for taking away the precious unregainable time of another human being, and for not being able to save his mother from an inescapable and unpredictable death. She'd held him as he shook trying desperately to calm him down. She'd never seen him in such a come apart. She remembered wondering if Orihime knew the extent of how unstable and vulnerable Ichigo was feeling. Showing this side of yourself to someone isn't to be taken lightly.
Not to say he didn't tell her to leave him be. She stuck by him though and fought against his struggling until he let her stay there. She knew that even if he wouldn't admit it aloud he wanted someone to fight him and be there. She had always wanted that. Always.
"Yes I remember." She said nostalgically scanning over his features to put the image of his terrified façade out of mind.
"I'm still living with that every day." He said softly. She stayed quiet as she was asked earlier waiting patiently for further explanation.
"I don't think it was right for me to seek you out for companionship when I had Orihime. The first time we did it, I didn't do it because I cared about you Rukia I did it because I was being selfish. That was wrong." She nodded turning her head elsewhere feeling just as useless and unwanted as she had when she was waiting for him in that coffee shop.
"But…after that things were different even though I don't love you even now. But I can't say that I feel nothing for you Rukia." Damn it she was not about to cry. Not in front of him especially.
"Rukia." He tried to touch her but all he earned was a stinging slap! in the face. He watched a red eyed Rukia scowl at him, her body language clearly depicting that his words had upset her.
"Please, I get it Ichigo! I don't want to hear it anymore, I know that I'm no Orihime!" She yelled tears coming to the forefront of her beautiful face. She quickly turned away from him tearing down the street towards the nearest park as he chased her yelling things like 'wait Rukia!'
She felt embarrassed. She had given up so much for him and fallen into the same trap again of falling into the arms of a man who didn't love her. She really wasn't cut out for this stupid stupid romance bullshit. Her heart was pounding as she heard him gaining ground on her as she flew by trees tears beginning to leak blurring the forest into green and brown blobs. Part of her wanted to turn around and let him catch but another told her to keep running.
"Stop, stop let me go!" she yelled as Ichigo caught her wrist and pinned her between a nearby birch tree and himself. She didn't expect the sudden thrash of her chest as he silenced her protests with a rough passionate kiss that left her staring blankly at him trying to catch her breath. He released her hands and brought his own up to cup her face within them.
"I still need you, you idiot." He said softly and sternly his voice devoid of harshness. He stepped away from her.
"I'm doing this so I can get some distance and sort things out. I've done a lot of crappy things lately. And if me and you are going to end up being together I want it to be the right way." She sniffled and took one large step towards him. He retreated fearing another slap.
"You jackass…" she gripped his shirt and stood on the tips of her toes.
"Why didn't you say that first?" she caught his lips again pulling him down to her level, much to Ichigo's surprise.
They were messed up people. But at least they were two messed up people that understood one another.
After showering, and drinking one or two cups of coffee I walked myself up to Ulquiorra's apartment with a plate of cookies in hand. I had decided on baking them instead of buying, yet I omitted the peppers this time. I wanted Ulquiorra to think I had put some thought and care into them as thanks for his gracious allowance of me crashing his place.
I figured he had received the invite to Nel's birthday party as well, considering that he and Grimmjow were so buddy-buddy. I rasped my hand on the door three quick times and waited calmly. After a few moments a thump of feet preceded the slow creak of the door as it opened.
"Ah, Ms. Inoue." I blushed and shoved the plate of cookies into his chest.
"H-here I made some cookies for you!" he took the plate in one hand and with the other held open the door for me. I walked into the familiar space quickly turning around as Ulquiorra placed the plate of steaming chocolatey chipped delectables on his table.
"I hope you don't mind me stopping by again I just wanted to say thanks you know?" Ulquiorra lifted one round lumpy cookie to his mouth and paused to reply.
"What do you mean?" he took a bite, chewing slowly.
"You know for letting me stay here!" He shook his head and muttered 'delicious' under his breath.
"Well I would not have let just any person stay here, but for you…" he paused and looked straight into my eyes.
"The door is always open." I blushed and quickly racked my brain to change the subject. Why did he have to be so courteous all the time.
"D-Did you get an invite to Nel's birthday?" I stammered. He retreated back to what I assumed was his bedroom and returned with a small black box.
"I did." I stared at the rectangular gift wondering what was inside.
"How about we go together?" I offered he grabbed his coat, a small almost invisible smile gracing his stoic features.
"Nothing sounds more pleasant."
When Ulquiorra and Orihime had arrived at the residence of his best friend things went about as he expected.
Neliel had nearly devoured the entire cake in a matter of minutes while the woman gushed with the very pregnant turquoise haired wife about the events in her life and all that had happened since they'd last met.
The blonde and a little bit drunk Matsumoto showed up late as expected with two bottles of wine in hand. He reminded her that Neliel was pregnant and therefore could not drink but her only response was:
"What do you mean Neliel is pregnant? She's having a birthday not a baby silly." He decided not to argue too amused by the logic of the busty woman. Grimmjow entered the fray shortly after clad in his navy uniform and had a drinking contest with Matsumoto until they were both hopelessly intoxicated. His blue-haired associate then preceded to stumble over towards him, managing to tear down the colorful streamers all across the walls until he reached Ulquiorra who offered him a hand.
"Isn't it rather unbecoming for a cop to be drunk?" Grimmjow slung an arm over Ulquiorra's shoulders.
"Ehhh?" he groaned loudly into his ear. Ulquiorra shoved him off and into the wall where he sat chuckling to himself.
"C'mon lighten up man have a drink." He shook his head in disdain at the sight of his red-faced friend.
"No thank you." He turned just in time to see the precarious sight of Orihime giving into peer pressure and cautiously sipping on a glass of red wine.
It only took a few minutes for the side effects to kick in. The woman obviously had absolutely no tolerance for the depressant. She was hiccupping and giggling hopelessly along with her blonde companion. Matsumoto was truly a bad influence at times. It dawned on him he would be the one dealing with the drunken woman yet it didn't bother him. She seemed much more relaxed than before and whatever had been bothering her seemed to have gone away.
"Isn't it fun to be the only sober people at your own birthday party?" He turned his head to take in the waddling Neliel walking towards him with hands encircling her bloated stomach.
"She's had a rough year." Neliel commented eyeing Orihime. He flicked his eyes upon her as well.
"I would imagine so." He commented feeling the pregnant woman's gaze on him.
"You still haven't told her have you Ulqui-kun?" he let the worry in her tone roll off of him.
"She need not be burdened with unwanted suitors right now. As you said she's had a rough year." He ignored the pitying look he received.
"You deserve to be happy too Ulqui-kun. I think it's sad that you've spent all of your time since high school thinking about her when you get nothing in return," He thought about snapping at her but he didn't quite know why. He would confess when he was good and ready. The timing wasn't perfect yet.
"Let's not focus on me when it's your day, Neliel." Ulquiorra said trying to come across as pleasant yet it sounded forced.
They celebrated for a while longer and then Neliel opened her presents. Most of them were various infant outfits and bottles yet when she opened the gift he had gotten her she fell silent and then bear hugged him to the point where he thought his shoulders would crack.
"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Ulqui-kun!" the gift was a simple silver necklace with an elk as a pendant. Neliel had always been fond of the creature as much as it puzzled him. Rangiku and Orihime sniffled in affect. The former claiming how thoughtful he was as she used Orihime's sleeve as a tissue. While Orihime was just staring at him a goofy smile plastered on and a strange almost mischievous look in her eye.
She mumbled the word 'prince' scrambling for her glass again. He reached out a hand to stop her. Their eyes connecting briefly. She had consumed much more than she was used to he was sure. He didn't want her to be sick either. Though he was certain she would have a raging headache the following morning. Toting the muttering Ms. Inoue along Ulquiorra excused them saying he would see to it that she got home safely. The drunk woman exclaimed at ordinary things all the way home grabbing his arm when she, often, lost her balance. He found her childish state endearing as she pointed at a stop sign saying how pretty the color red was.
Like any responsible adult he took her back to her apartment looking for where she kept glasses and aspirin knowing she would need it come morning time. He told himself it was okay to search for such things given that she was in such a state and wouldn't remember most likely anyway.
"Ulquiorrrrrraaaaa-kuunnnn." He heard Orihime roll his name off her tongue and then burst into a fit of giggles. He cautiously moved towards the disheveled woman curiously, witnessing her splayed across the sofa in an awkward manner. He wordlessly helped her to her feet and then towards her bedroom.
"Hey Ulquiorrrrraaaa, what happened to your glasses? I remember you h-had them in high school you were so cuteee." She brushed her torturous fingers across his cheek as he helped her lay down on the bed. Oh the things she could do to his state of mind with a single stroke of her thumb. Neliel's words ran through his brain.
"I think it's sad that you've spent all of your time since high school thinking about her when you get nothing in return."
He needed to escape quickly.
"Ulquiorraaaa help me." He turned his emerald gaze back to her and covered his mouth feeling heat rush into his cheeks. She was tugging off her shirt but it was caught on her large bosom leaving the uncoordinated Orihime in a fit. She gave up and fell back on the bed sighing her cheeks still flushed. The sight of her disheveled form made his heart run wild.
"It's so hot Ulquiorra." She whined as he neared her. His gaze turning predatory.
"Please help me get out of these." She begged him. He paused for a moment his sanity waning but then abruptly wrapped her into blankets until her attempts to strip were rendered useless.
"Ulquiorra-kun! You're so mean!" She sobbed but after a few minutes fell asleep again leaving a red-faced Ulquiorra awake at her bedside. He left the room quickly wanting to take a long cold shower but not before placing two aspirin tablets and a glass of water on the bedside table.
Honestly, it was cruel how she could manipulate him so easily without even realizing it. His restraint was slipping little by little every day and he had just then come so close to throwing his caution out the window and ravishing the innocent woman senseless.
But he would wait.
He would wait and endure his lingering desires for her, until she decided to let him be with her.