Hey everyone!
I am so sorry for taking such a long time to update, life has been rather hectic for me lately! This is just a short chapter and was really hard for me to write, but I have begun working on the next one so it should definately be out much quicker than this one. We're starting to get into the story in the next few chapters so hopefully you will stick with me and keep reading - and perhaps haven't completely forgotten me?
This chapter was hard for some reason, I had massive writers block - and for that reason I managed to persuade my good friend Eden Storm to beta it for me. So big thanks to her for working with me on this one!
Chapter 8: Catatonic
APOV
"Emmett!" I screamed for my brother from where I lay huddled on the forest floor. I had been here hunting, about to go to where I believed Bella to be from my vision yesterday. I could hear him tearing through the trees, rushing to get to me, understanding my pained cry for help.
"Ali, what's wrong?" He yelled urgently, though he didn't need to, I still would have heard him.
"Emmett I can't hold it all in. Oh god, how can she feel all this? Em, it hurts so bad." I sobbed into the dirt, crushed by the pressure of the vision that I just had of Bella. It pained me so much to see her like that, and I wasn't even the one directly feeling the emotions. Still, through the haze of my vision, I could sense how much she was hurting, how much she needed comfort.
"What is it? Did you have a vision? Is it Bella?" He asked urgently, concern thick in his voice as he lowered to the ground, holding me in a protective embrace. I nodded my head in the affirmative, not being able to say the words.
"How long do we have? How far?" He questioned again, gently.
"It's already happened, happening as we speak. If we run we can reach her in a few minutes. Will you help me bring her back?" I pleaded with my 'big' brother as he nodded, likely to have said yes regardless of what my request was.
Emmett and I bolted through the scrub toward where I saw Bella, coiled and compact on the floor. As we ran, my vision flashed through my mind. I barely even noticed the scents of the forest; the fresh cool pine, the heard of deer to my right, the campers about a mile away. None of these things were important; the only thing that held my concentration was her.
And there she was on the cliff's edge, bundled up, looking like a small, helpless child.
"Bella?" I asked softly, not wanting to startle her. She didn't flinch or move a muscle in recognition. She was shaking but didn't move as I walked closer to her.
"Bella sweetie, it's me, Alice." Inch by inch I crept to her side, kneeling beside her. She was a wreck, a writhing heap of a creature in front of me. When she didn't respond, I exchanged a worried look with Emmett who was opening and closing his mouth, hesitant to speak. I nodded gently, showing my support.
"Bella? I'm Emmett, Alice's brother. Do you think you can stand?" He was being so gentle with her, a side not often seen of this usually robust bear of a man. When she didn't respond, he crept forward. We were both weary that her vampiric instincts would kick in and that she would spring to her defence, and in part, I was hoping that they would; that there would be some kind of reaction. But there was nothing, no expression, no surprise... nothing.
"Right. Ok... Sweetie I'm going to pick you up now ok? We're going to take you home where you can get some rest." I told her as I moved closer to pick her up, placing one arm around her neck and the other under her knees. I pulled her close, tucking her head into the crook of my neck as I inhaled her mesmerising scent. Not once did she stir. Not once did she shrink away from my touch or wince in distress. She was void of any reaction, and whilst it looked as though I was calm and composed on the surface, a storm was brewing inside of me. The tempest of emotions inside me circled and magnified, begging a multitude of questions.
Was I too late?
What is happening to her?
What can I do?
Will Carlisle have the answers?
What if I had come sooner?
Have I lost her for good this time?
As we neared the house, I saw Edward open the front door and walk out, a worried expression on his face as I projected my vision toward him. I carried Bella into the lounge room and placed her gently on the sofa.
Can you read her? Is she ok? Is she in there somewhere? Edward tell me!
"Alice... calm down." He asked through clenched teeth.
"I need to know, Edward." I knew that this was not his fault, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to know what Bella was thinking, I needed some hint as to how I could help her get out of this dark place.
"Her mind is like no other I have ever read. At one time it is open, the other, completely closed. And when it is open, it is all discombobulated. There is not a single solid thought in her mind right now. I am getting flashes of things but just when I grasp the scene, it changes or stops entirely." His gaze was fixed on my Bella, scrutinisingly.
So is there something wrong with her? Is she losing her mind? Is that why you can't read her?
He laughed as I asked him this.
"Most likely not. I would hypothesise that there is a logical explanation for this however at this stage I can't really put my finger on it. It is rather difficult since I do not have much to compare to, not knowing her in her normal state. " He paused. "One thing I can see though Alice is pain... and lots of it... Some of her thoughts, whether memories or not... are rather horrific. Do you know much about her past?" He asked, one eyebrow raised in curiosity.
I shook my head, not having much to really go on myself. "Not a lot, only what I have already told you.. and that she was sired by Aro." I looked up at him from where I sat on the floor, next to the couch that held Bella.
"That may explain a few things then. I can surmise from her thoughts that she was a guard for some time." He nodded, focusing on her thoughts.
At that moment, I sensed other members of my family returning home. I could hear Rosalie's BMW turn off the road and onto our drive way. Three of them were in the car; Rose, Jasper and Esme.
Great, perhaps Jasper can help.. he might be able to grasp her emotions.
I looked up as the thought ended, to gauge a response from Edward. His face was contorted, his eyebrows pinched together in a tight scowl.
"Believe me, I don't think he will have any issues with that. He can already sense them, I'm reading him now and her emotions are intense, Alice. They are causing him physical pain already and he is not even in close proximity to her yet." He stated with a pained expression. If what Jasper was feeling was causing Edward this much pain, then I couldn't even begin to imagine what Bella was feeling right now.
I was brought out of my thoughts by the door opening as Rose and Esme walked in.
"Alice." Esme fluttered toward me and held me in a tight embrace. "Shhh, she's going to be okay." My mother cooed to me as I fell apart, dry sobbing as my knees buckled and I allowed her to support my weight.
Suddenly an overwhelming calm penetrated my anxiety. I looked up to see Jasper, crouched on the floor in the entrance, Edward hovering over him protectively. I shot him a look of appreciation as our eyes met.
"I need to try and calm her down, Al. But if that doesn't work, then I need to leave, I can't handle this for much longer." He said through gritted teeth.
"I understand, just... do what you can? Please?" He nodded before standing to walk over toward the couch I had placed Bella on. She was still curled in the foetal position, coiled up protectively.
"She feels so much guilt, so much self loathing. She's in a lot of pain, and she is confused.. no.. not confused, more like she is torn, as though there are two opposing sides to her, both battling for control. If she keeps this up, I'm not sure how long it will be till she loses it completely. I'm sorry Alice, I know you don't want to hear that right now." Again, at his words, I broke down and turned toward Esme's loving embrace.
"I'll do what I can to make her feel calm, but perhaps you should all head upstairs, it will likely be strong enough to influence you all also." Jasper said, looking at each of us individually.
"No, I'm not leaving her."
"It's alright Alice. Go upstairs and let Jasper do his work, I will stay down here with him and Bella and we will come get you when it is safe." Carlisles authoritative yet gentle tone of reason surprised me as I had been too distracted to sense his arrival home. At some stage Esme must have called him, knowing that out of all of us, he would be the best one to figure this out and help Bella.
"Thank you Carlisle. And thanks for coming home so soon, I know you have a lot of work to do." I stated meekly as he shook his head.
"It's not a problem at all dear, my family comes first, always." With that, he slowly walked toward Bella and began talking to Jasper.
I couldn't move, my feet were rooted in place as I simply stared at her in her catatonic-like state. She was in pain and there was not a thing that I could do. I felt beyond helpless. After what felt like minutes, I vaguely felt Emmett wrap his arms around me and walk me upstairs to my room where I stayed in silence.
It seemed like days but in truth it was actually six hours that Jasper and Carlisle remained down stairs with Bella. They had called me down once they were finished to briefly update me on her condition before leaving to hunt. She still looked catatonic, in the foetal position staring blankly ahead. However now she was no longer shaking, her features no longer contorted in pain. Carlisle was certain that she would recover from this, only he was unsure as to how long it would take. Eventually, Bella would need to hunt. The longer it took for her to recover, the more she would crave blood and the harder it will be for her to control her thirst.
I sat with Bella for the rest of that day and into the night. My family had given up trying to persuade me to leave her side to rest or hunt. But how could I? How could I possibly rest when Bella was not allowed that same reprieve? How could I possibly hunt when she was sitting here starving.
"You know you won't be any good to her when she comes out of it if you don't keep your strength up." I looked up to see Rosalie walking down the stairs, a soft smile on her lips. I shook my head in response.
"I can't leave her Rose." I protested, but she soon cut me off.
"I know, that's why I'm going to go hunt for you. I know take out is never as good as... eating in, but still, it will keep you fed. Carlisle also suggested we try Bella with some blood, see if we can evoke some kind of response. Besides, a crazy bloodthirsty killer is just what we don't need ruining our rep' in this town." That was Rosalie's way of being nice, yet I couldn't help the glare that her last sentence ensued. And with that, she nodded and left the house.
I couldn't have asked for a more supportive family, even Rose was doing her part to help out. I would need to show them how much I appreciated them once everything was sorted out.