S Meyer owns Twilight. My sister and I own tickets to see Breaking Dawn tonight at midnight. She checked this over for me, but as always, any mistakes are mine. *Minor drug use, underage drinking, and, yes, sexy times.*
Chapter 10
If it's an all night thing
Nobody is gonna make it end
And if it don't begin
Don't worry that I'll take offense
And if it's an all night thing
And we fall like a tear falling
To the ground
I'll never come around
And you'll never hear a word from me
If it's an all night thing
(All Night Thing- Temple of the Dog)
-o-
"There is no way I can accept this," I tell Edward, shoving the newly opened gift into his lap.
"Of course you can, Bella," Carlisle insists. "It's from all of us. Even Emmett."
I shake my head. A Kenwood car stereo with a CD player is too much. Even if they did split the cost. They each gave me individual gifts as well.
"Bella, come on. It isn't like we bought a system. There are no new speakers or subs. No boom boom," Emmett says. "Stop screwing up Christmas."
"Emmett, Christmas was three days ago," I remind him. I exhale and hesitantly take the box from Edward. It isn't fancy. Just a radio and CD player. Arguing is pointless. I'm outnumbered by several of the most stubbornly kind people I've ever known.
"Thank you," I mumble.
Emmett jumps up from his seat on the couch and snatches the stereo from my grasp. "Excellent."
He and Edward are confident they can install it. I toss them the keys without a second thought because the current stereo in that truck is junk, and I have nothing to lose.
"Is your mom back?" Esme asks as we settle in to watch some random movie on Lifetime. She's obsessed with this channel. I can't stand it because of the recurrent "damsel in distress" and "woman scorned" themes. But if I have to choose between this or standing in the rain watching the guys install a car stereo…well, bring on the bad TV.
"She got in late last night."
Esme just nods distractedly, staring at the television.
I stayed up way too late last night talking and opening gifts with Renee. It catches up to me, and I can't keep my eyes open.
The sound of Emmett's laughter wakes me. When I'm finally able to focus, I see Edward and Emmett standing in front of me.
"Crap," I mumble, stretching a little. A glance at the clock shows an hour has passed.
"Let's go for a ride," Emmett says.
The last thing I want to do is vacate my toasty spot on the sofa, but they both look like two kids who just got a present instead of giving one. I hold my hands out to Edward, and he dutifully pulls me from the couch.
Thankfully, the rain has stopped. It is even colder now than earlier. It's probably a good thing Charlie put chains on the tires a couple of days ago.
I'm not fully awake yet, so I let Edward drive. We take Emmett home, and I compliment them the entire way. The CD player sounds perfect.
It's dark when we get back to Edward's house. I snatch a brownie from a plate on the counter as we walk through the kitchen.
I stop him when he reaches for the TV remote. I pull him onto the bed with me and cuddle against him. There are only three days left until New Year's Eve, and there are still a few details we need to discuss.
"I guess you probably know I'm on the pill," I begin. He's seen me take them enough. It's part of my routine. Ten o'clock every night. Location doesn't matter. They're with me all the time.
He grins a little as he nods.
"I think we should still use condoms." His smile disappears with my words, turning into a slight frown.
"Is this about Jake?" he asks quietly.
I think of Jake's current situation. An unplanned pregnancy is the last thing I want. I love Edward, and he loves me, but I have no desire to be a mother. Not now, maybe not ever.
"Yes."
Something crosses his face. Hurt? He swallows before speaking, "Bella, I would never, ever cheat on you."
He sounds so wounded and, for a second, I'm confused. Until I realize he thinks I'm worried about gonorrhea or some kind of STD. I never did get a chance to tell him about the Maria scandal on Christmas. We were…busy.
"Oh God, no!" I nearly shout. "I'm not worried about that at all. I trust you, Edward. I forgot to tell you Maria is pregnant."
He is stunned silent.
"I don't want to take any chances. The pill is only ninety-nine percent effective and condoms are only ninety-seven percent effective. Abstinence is the only thing guaranteed to prevent it, and we both know that option sucks," I pause, giving him a pointed look. "If we use both, we should be one hundred and ninety-six percent protected."
"I'm not sure the theory is sound, but I understand what you're saying," he says carefully. "If we are going to have this conversation, you should know that even if, somehow, the one hundred and ninety-six percent theory is proved false, I would take care of you."
"That's fine and dandy and noble of you, Edward," I tell him, squeezing his hand. "And I love you, but I really have no desire to repeat my mom's mistakes."
"Don't say things like that. You are not a mistake." He punctuates his words by holding me a little tighter.
"You know what I mean," I whisper. "I don't want that, Edward. I wanted to judge Jake for saying he didn't want his kid, but I know deep down I would feel the same way. Does that make me a terrible person?"
I've been thinking about this for the last few days. It's been eating away at me, really.
"No," he whispers. "I can't think of anyone who would want a child as a teenager, Bella. We'll be responsible. Double protection is not a big deal. I'm just glad this isn't a trust issue."
"Of course it isn't." The idea of Edward cheating is ridiculous. The boy is afraid to fuck his own girlfriend. And that's okay. Once we get the first time out of the way, I'm not going to let him dictate our sex life. Renee goes to the gym three times a week. She never comes home early, and there is a lock on my bedroom door. Hopefully, if the sex is good, he'll forget all of his reservations.
Speaking of good sex.
"I'm a little nervous," I whisper. I tuck my head into my favorite spot just below his jaw. "I never, well, you know," I pause. Jesus, it shouldn't be so hard to talk about this. "I never had an orgasm before you."
"But you had sex." He sounds confused.
"I did. I never said it was good sex."
"Bella, I think you should explain what you mean by that because I don't want to misinterpret that statement. Right now, I want to drive to LaPush and beat the shit out of Jacob."
"He didn't hurt me, Edward." It really sucks that the only time Jake ever touched me in anger, happened to be in front of Edward. "Jake is a jackass, but he isn't a monster."
He huffs, so I slap his chest.
"It didn't last long. It didn't feel bad, it just didn't feel good." I'm searching for the right words. This is so hard to explain to a guy. Alice and Carmen knew exactly what I meant when I said the same thing to them.
"He didn't notice? I mean, wouldn't he be able to tell?"
"I guess not," I mutter. This is the part I don't want to explain."I faked it."
So fucking embarrassing.
He is silent. Absolutely silent. His chest moves beneath me. Then, the snickers begin. Soon, both of us are laughing.
"Where could you have possibly learned to fake it if you'd never had one?" He's still laughing a little.
"Cinemax."
"Oh, God," he says, smiling and shaking his head. "I want to see it."
"What? No!"
"Please," he whispers against my ear. Every hair on the back of my neck stands on end.
His fingers trail up my arm so lightly, it almost tickles.
"I can't," I tell him. "It's embarrassing." Especially out of context. I may be a little brave with the lights off, but I am not interested in recreating the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally.
He kisses my neck, letting his stubble scrape lightly against my skin. Compromise. Maybe we can compromise.
"I'll show you eventually. You already know what my real ones look like. Isn't that enough?" I stall, hoping he will forget.
"Promise me you won't fake it with me," he whispers.
Well, damnit.
I am really hoping it won't be a problem. I want the sex to be really good for both of us, but Carmen and Alice have assured me that when it comes to sex and orgasms, it is a hit or miss type thing for girls. They also pinky swear sex will feel good once I have time to enjoy it, whether the BigO happens or not.
"Okay," I agree. Honesty is a key component of a good relationship. Cosmo says so. And I cannot even imagine how guilty lying to Edward would make me feel.
-o-o-o-o-o-
In fifth grade, I had a huge crush on Tyler Crowley. Now, he's the quarterback for Forks High. Back then, he was just a cute sixth grader who smiled at me on the bus occasionally. At the end of the year, there was a fifth/sixth grade field trip to Bogachiel State Park.
Tyler sat near the trash cans with a group of his classmates. I caught him looking at me more than once. Alice picked up on it right away and dared me to walk over to say hello. Since it was his last year at Forks Elementary, I decided to take the dare.
I gathered all of my trash and slowly walked over to the cans. Quick, furtive glances revealed that he was watching me. Just as I tossed my bag into the trash, Emmett walked by and farted.
Everyone heard it. A hundred little heads turned just in time to hear Emmett say, "Ewww, Bella. That was nasty," as he covered his nose and waved his hand like a fan.
I was mortified. Emmett totally ruined my mojo.
Some things never change.
Emmett's parents were invited by mutual friends to attend the party with Edward's parents on New Year's. So, Emmett has decided to have a little party of his own. He says Edward and I are assholes if we don't at least make an appearance.
By the time I arrive, I'm forced to park a block away. Edward has been here for a couple of hours helping Emmett move stereo equipment and lock up everything breakable.
I can hear "Brass Monkey" as I reach the end of the drive. This is going to be a nightmare. Emmett is much friendlier than I am, and there are going to be some assholes here; I just know it. I look for Leah's Civic, but I don't see it. She promised she and Carmen would stop by after a quick trip to Embry's.
I'm on my own. Well, Edward is here, but he's inside. I don't think I've ever shown up at a party alone. I debate over knocking.
Screw it.
I open the front door wide and march in like I own the place. I'm Emmett's best girl friend and I've been over here a dozen times. A few of those times, Emmett was on the brink of passing out as I attempted to get him to the door, but they count.
The family room is dark, and all of the light fixtures have black lights temporarily in place. Great. Now, I'm glowing. There are a few faces I recognize from school, but the one I want, I can't find.
I make my way into the kitchen and promptly wish I hadn't. Heidi, Tanya, and Irina are standing in a semi-circle around Ben watching him like he is the second coming of Christ. He isn't tall, but he's stocky. His hunter green Polo is starched and tucked into a pair of Lucky jeans. The brown leather of his belt matches his boots perfectly. I can smell Obsession from where I'm standing.
"Hey, Bella," he pushes away from the counter he has been leaning against. He brushes past Tanya and Heidi and stops once he has breached what I consider to be my personal space. I smile and inch back. "Just get here?"
Heidi, Tanya and Irina are annoyed. Every one of them is glaring at me behind Ben's back. I smirk.
"Yeah, I took a nap and overslept a little. Have you seen Edward or Emmett?"
He smiles a little. "Emmett's upstairs."
Great. Emmett is upstairs getting his rocks off with some random ho, and I'm stuck here, at his stupid party, when I could be alone with Edward.
Asshole.
"Here," Ben says, as he reaches into the fridge. "Have a beer."
"I don't like beer."
"Suit yourself." He kills the last of the open beer in his right hand, tosses the bottle into the trash, and then opens the one he intended for me. "How did you do on the last test Anderson gave us?"
Really? He wants to talk American History?
"Um, I aced it," I mumble. "What about Edward?" I don't want to be rude; I just want to see my boyfriend.
"Haven't seen him," Ben says smoothly.
Irina steps up next to him, facing me. "He's downstairs. I just came up a few minutes ago."
I turn to the door leading down to the basement.
"Not much for conversation is he?" Her voice is light and airy.
I bristle. Edward isn't Jake, but I wouldn't hesitate to compare Irina to Maria. I don't want to give her the satisfaction of letting her freak me out.
I turn to her, grin wickedly and reply, "He only likes smart girls." Then, I give her a quick wink and hurry down the stairs.
My hands are shaking a little and by the time I reach the bottom of the stairs, I'm a little out of breath, and I hate Irina's guts. The fact she even noticed Edward bothers me.
Mr. McCarty converted the basement into a den not long after they moved in. I relax a little when I spot Edward sitting next to Alec on the leather sofa. They're playing some alien video game. Jane waves from her perch on the La-Z-Boy recliner before lowering her hand to twirl a strand of her white blonde hair around her finger.
Edward kills his character and tosses his controller to Alec. He stands, stretching a little, and allowing me a glimpse of his happy trail. I flush, thinking of what is at the end of that happy trail. He smiles as he approaches, and I'm thinking we should get the hell out of here.
His flannel is soft and warm. Then his lips are too. He tastes like beer and Trident and he's scruffy and I love him.
"How long do we have to stay?" I ask the moment he stops kissing me.
"You just walked in," he teases.
"To the lions' den," I add. "What did Irina want?"
He tilts his head looking confused.
"Cheerleader girl? Long, blonde hair, red sweater dress?"
Finally, it clicks. "Oh, Ben's girl," he says. "She was trying to bum a smoke, and it sounded like she was fishing for weed."
I huff. "She wishes she could be Ben's girl. Rumor has it, he isn't interested. Trust me. Angela runs the Ben Cheney gossip chain. Irina probably thought getting him stoned would make her seem more appealing." It is a mean thing to say, and I know it, but I don't like the idea of her sniffing around Edward for any reason.
"She seems nice, Bella."
She didn't seem very nice upstairs a few minutes ago, but I keep it to myself because I don't want to sound like a jealous girlfriend. Irina is probably harmless. I'm just being paranoid and possessive.
I choose not to argue. Instead, I lean in and whisper, "Can we go out front and wait for Carmen and Leah? They're bringing me a quarter. If we smoke early, we'll be clear headed later."
I want to be one hundred percent in my head when we finally have sex. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future for stoned, horny sex. Tonight should be special since it will be his first real time.
We run into Felix and a couple of the older metal heads. It completely surprises me when Edward does a sort of clap handshake half hug thing with one of them. He is senior, I know that much. I've seen him around, but I've never seen him with Edward.
"Bella, this is Sam. He's Emmett's neighbor."
Oh, he's one of the basketball guys. Edward told me they play against some of the neighborhood kids.
I wave and smile a little.
"Now I understand why Edward is always MIA," he grins.
And there's the guilt trip. I have tried to convince Edward to spend more time with his friends, but he is content with his nose buried in a book or in my boobs. Emmett still gripes at me even though they have a designated "bro" night every week. My hands are tied.
"You can't really blame me," Edward says as he wraps his arm around my waist. He spends a few minutes talking to Sam, and I keep my eyes open for my girls.
Charlotte is teetering down the stairs. Her hair is sticking out in every direction, and I'm pretty sure she has lost her bra. I feel a little sick when I see Emmett follow her down.
I move from Edward's light embrace, meeting Emmett as he reaches the bottom of the stairs.
"What did you do?" I demand. I love Em with all my heart, but one of these days, his dick is going to get him in trouble if he keeps sticking it in drunk girls.
"Relax," he grins. "Tonight wasn't the first time we've hooked up. And she told me exactly what she was going to do to me long before she ever took her first shot."
I shake my head in wonder. I must be a BFF magnet for douchebags.
"What crawled up Bella's ass?" Carmen asks as she approaches.
Thank goodness the weed is finally here.
"Nothing," I tell her as I reach for the baggie in her hand. "Where can I roll this?" I ask Emmett.
"Dining room," he replies. "Did he send mine?"
"Yes," she answers. "He also sent an envelope for that Jane chick. Is she here?"
"Downstairs," I tell her. "We'll get her before we smoke. Let me roll a few."
Edward is still talking to Sam and Felix. His eyes find mine the moment I return to the room. I wave the baggie back and forth as I take a seat.
Leah sits next to me as Carmen and Emmett stand behind us. He tosses his dime on the table in front of me.
"Will you roll it all?" he asks, holding out a box of Zig Zags between his pointer and middle fingers.
I snatch it from him and listen to Leah ramble about some guy she met at Embry's. At some point, Edward and Sam move their conversation to the table and take the seats across from mine. I don't look up even though I can feel Edward watching me. Breaking up weed is hard work. I won't smoke seeds or stems. Ever.
I smack Emmett's hand when he reaches across me to pick up a fat one. "Wait!" There is no way in hell I am going to sit here rolling his shit while everybody else gets stoned.
"Yeah, Emmett," Leah scolds. "Where are your manners?"
Carmen giggles and offers me a sip from a bottle of strawberry Boone's. I chug a little and pass it to Leah.
By the time I'm done with Emmett's bag, there are several people standing around watching and waiting. Fucking vultures. Not one of them contributed a single bud. He may be content with letting these assholes smoke his weed, but I only roll one with my stash. I give it to Edward for safe keeping before I hook up Carmen and Leah.
"Next year, I'm giving you a bong for Christmas," I mutter to Emmett as I stand.
"My birthday is in February," he grins.
True. I'll have to convince Brent to do some shopping for me and Edward.
We smoke in the garage. Edward and I find a nice, quiet spot in the corner. I love watching his fingers curl to pinch the joint. His back is arched, and his jaw flexes as he inhales deeply. Smoking is a nasty, vile habit, but Edward makes it look sexy.
I run my fingers through his hair. I can't help it. It's so soft and crazy. Then his lips are on mine exhaling, and I'm breathing him in with the weed and the cinnamon. I exhale and he backs off, turning the joint and placing it on my lip. I've never tried to shotgun before, so I'm understandably nervous. He made it look so easy.
I toke it and step up on my toes, brushing my lips across his before I blow gently into his mouth.
"It's like watching soft porn," Carmen murmurs, dragging my attention away from Edward.
"That was hot in a totally gross way," Leah concurs.
Oh, man. Edward and I are turning into Alice and Jasper. And strangely…I don't give a shit. I kiss him quickly before handing him the joint. Our PDA is too much for Carmen and Leah, so I point Jane out to them, and they leave us in peace.
I am way more interested in Edward than smoking. We could borrow the spare bedroom, have a little pre-game show. A warm up. Baseball players like to warm up. I think.
"We are not leaving right now," he says, laughing. I hate it when he reads my mind. He can tell everything I'm thinking with one look. It's hardly fair. "We can't drive." His hands lower, and he grabs my ass, pulling me closer. Since I probably am too stoned to drive, I let him kiss me and hold me and grope my ass for as long as he wants.
Party goers are wandering back into the house in search of booze and booty. Leah interrupts us, begging Edward to distract Sam long enough for her and Carmen to make a getaway. They promised to hook up with the Forks posse before midnight, which means they need to hit the road soon. Sam seems smitten with Leah and begs her for her number as Edward steers him away from us.
"Oh, thank God," she says the moment the door closes behind them. "Dude would NOT take a hint."
"I thought he was kind of cute," Carmen winks.
"Sure, sure…if I want a guy who will serenade me with Tesla songs." Leah is picky. Very picky. "Enough about Sam. Are you ready for tonight?" She looks at me expectantly.
"Stupid question," Carmen interrupts. "Obviously they're both ready. Did you shave? Trim all the hedges?"
"What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course I shaved. Don't be a dumbass." I love them, but it is time for them to leave. The sooner they go, the sooner I can convince Edward to go.
"Just checking," she giggles. "Need condoms? I have some in my bag."
"No." I shake my head. "Edward took care of it. We're good."
If this is how I make Emmett feel, he should have told me to fuck off a long time ago.
"You should probably do something to relieve things before you try to hit it." Carmen is straight-faced and serious for the moment.
It takes me a moment to figure out what she means. "Oh!"
"Yeah, O. That's the goal, but don't freak out if it doesn't happen. Getting him off first will probably help him last longer for the real deal. Give him a blow job then let him return the favor."
No fucking way. I don't want Edward's face anywhere near my pussy. That's just weird. I don't think he has ever done that before. I managed to avoid oral with Jake, and I haven't really considered doing it with Edward.
"I don't think that's a good idea," I hedge.
"Jesus, Bella," Leah says, clearly exasperated. "It isn't hard. You just put it in your mouth and do what comes naturally. You will be able to tell what he likes by listening to him. If he says 'ow,' you're doing something wrong." She should know. There is an invisible fortress around her hymen which has been maintained by her enthusiasm for blow jobs. She does not want to waste her virginity on a "teenage jackass" like the rest of us have.
"Spunk and funk rhyme for a reason, Bella," Carmen interjects. "Make sure you take a can of Coke upstairs with you."
"Go," I tell them, shooing them away with my hands. "You're not helping."
"Love you," Leah calls over her shoulder as they walk towards the street.
"I bet. Happy fucking New Year, bitches," I yell.
Damn. Those two idiots spoiled my high. Now, I am nervous about all the things I hadn't considered about tonight. This isn't like buying a sweater. I can't take this back or undo it once it happens. I regret everything about having sex with Jake. I don't ever want to feel that way about Edward or what we do tonight.
I am ready. I can stand here, second guessing myself all night, and it won't change a thing. I've been his since the moment he hugged me in the Safeway parking lot. I may not have realized it at the time, but it is true.
I find him in the kitchen with Emmett, Charlotte, Alec, and Jane.
"What happened to Sam?" I ask.
"He and Felix are downstairs gaming." Edward lifts his arm as I step up beside him. "He wants Leah's number."
"Not going to happen."
"I said the same thing," Emmett laughs.
I catch Edward's eye. "It is after eleven," I tell him. I don't say take me home so we can be naked at midnight, although it is clearly implied.
His arm tightens around my shoulder. "Em, we're going to go before the crazies hit the road. Her dad thinks she is at her mom's house tonight and we don't need a traffic accident to prove otherwise."
Impressive. Emmett cowers at the slightest mention of the Chief, and Edward knows it. He effectively cut off any of Em's potential arguments for us to stay.
We say our goodbyes quickly, and we are almost out of the kitchen when Emmett's booming voice stops me dead in my tracks.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do, kids." Then he bursts into a fit of laughter. He has had way too much to drink, and it seems he is cracking himself up.
"Is someone staying to make sure he doesn't choke on his vomit?" Edward asks.
Charlotte raises her hand drunkenly. Alec tells Edward to go. He and Jane are crashing here tonight.
Edward stops to say goodbye to Ben and a couple of other people on our way out. He is far too calm and collected. I feel like there are butterflies Sumo wrestling in my stomach. The only anchor I have is his hand around mine, strong and sure. It keeps me grounded, here in the right now, instead of the what ifs of ten minutes from now.
He walks me to my truck. I tell him it's ridiculous as we pass the Volvo, but he insists. By the time he helps me into the cab, I'm trembling. He notices.
"Hey." He picks up my hand, shaking it lightly. "No weirdness, remember?"
I nod. It's our rule.
As I wait for him to get back to the Volvo, I roll the window down, letting the cool air fill the cab. Edward pulls away from the curb, and I follow him until we reach his house. He meets me at my truck and reaches in to get my bag. We enter the house through the garage and then pause at the bottom of the stairs.
"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" he asks.
"I'll uh…" Spunk and funk. Stupid Carmen. "I'll have a Coke."
He comes back from the kitchen with two. I take one from him and wait for him to make a move.
"Bella," he says, taking my free hand. "If you've changed your mind, if you're not ready…we can wait. It doesn't have to be tonight." He kisses my cheek. "As long as you let me hold you all night and wake up with you tomorrow, I'll be happy."
He always seems to know exactly what I need to hear.
I don't think I've ever heard the Cullen house this silent. Our footsteps echo on the hard wood stairs. He flips on the light as we enter his room. My eyes settle on a wrapped gift centered on his perfectly made bed.
I glance at him, brows raised.
"Go ahead," he tells me, shrugging in the direction of the gift.
I walk to the bed as he drops my bag near the door. It's a VHS. I can tell by the shape and the way it feels in my hands.
"You're spoiling me," I tease.
He smiles. "Open it."
I tear into the paper. Edward Scissorhands. My favorite movie. He knows me so well.
"You know I am going to make you watch this with me."
"I know." He never bitches about the girly movies I make him watch. I'm not nearly as nice when he picks Jean-Claude Van Damme on movie night.
He moves to the stereo and puts a tape into the deck.
"No CDs?" I'm curious. Edward loves to pick five and random play.
"No, not tonight. I made a tape."
He made a tape.
He made a mixed tape. For me. For this. It is by far the sweetest damn thing anyone has ever done for me.
Led Zeppelin floods the speakers. He wraps me up in his arms and starts swaying gently, side to side until we are dancing.
We only make it through two songs. Then, I take his glasses and place them on his desk. He stands absolutely still as I move my fingers to the buttons of his flannel. I open them one by one and then push it from his shoulders. I tug on the hem of his white t-shirt and he bends so I can pull it off.
He places both hands on my waist, slipping them beneath my sweater. He pushes it up and off while ghosting his fingers along every inch of skin in his path. He pauses to take in the white satin and lace I picked out just for him.
I want him to know I haven't changed my mind. I tell him with my fingers as I brush them across the hardness beneath his zipper. He swallows as I unbutton his Levi's. I watch as he toes off his Vans and pushes the jeans down over his hips.
Then he leans forward and kisses me. I can feel his hand on my jeans and his skin against my chest, and I want more. I want it all.
He turns off the light as I kick off my shoes and my jeans. His blinds are open, and his room is washed with a soft lavender glow. My instinct is to dive under the blanket before taking off the rest, but I bought this bra and panty set specifically for him. Another Christmas gift of sorts.
I let him look. When that's not enough, I let him touch me. He unhooks my bra, pulling it away from my body. Then I'm drowning in his skin.
I object when he lifts me onto the bed, until he follows me, and every inch of me is touching part of him. I don't think the spunk thing is going to be an issue tonight. I don't think this can wait another minute.
"You first," he says as he pulls away long enough to peel the white satin down my legs. His words have double meaning. I close my eyes and relax against Edward's pillow as he runs his hand up my thigh.
His lips are on my neck when he slides in one finger, then two. My breath catches as he drags his lips lower and lower until they finally settle on my nipple. He shifts his hand as he draws me in with his teeth and tongue.
I let it wash over me, making all the noises I've had to muffle over the last few months. Then his fingers are gone. By the time I open my eyes, his boxers are gone, and he is sitting at the edge of the bed tearing into a condom wrapper.
I turn my head to give him privacy and to keep myself from freaking out.
The mattress shifts, and he kisses me as he covers me.
I reach between us, positioning him and raising my hips. His head drops to my shoulder as he eases himself inside.
It's a little uncomfortable, and I tense before I can stop myself. He freezes before lifting his head to look at my face. He looks worried, so I kiss him and wiggle a little. He can be a gentleman some other time.
He takes the hint, and the more he moves, the better it feels.
His palms and forearms support his weight as his lips hover above mine. Kissing, whispering, groaning, and I can hardly believe this is real. He furrows his brow in concentration and bites down hard on his bottom lip.
He is fighting it. I can see it all over his face.
I don't feel cheated at all. He's already taken care of me.
"Your turn," I whisper, wrapping my leg around his waist.
"Fuck." It's a whisper. A curse. A plea. A concession.
Then he does. Harder and deeper than before, and I can't keep my eyes off his face. His hair is tangled across his forehead, his eyes scrunched closed, and his chest is moving against mine in the most heavenly way.
His rhythm falters as he shudders. Then his entire body tenses. Edward's O face is one of the hottest things I've ever seen. His jaw clenches, and he almost looks angry.
When it passes, he drops kisses along my neck and whispers how much he loves me. I run my fingers through his hair and tell him I love him back. Always.
A/N: So, I've had enough "condom talk" for a while. From this point on, let's just assume they are using them unless/until I say otherwise. Condoms aren't sexy and neither is writing about them.
"Brass Monkey" is classic Beastie Boys and Calvin Klein owns Obsession.
In case anyone is wondering, Edward wears glasses because of Myopia, so, in other words, he's nearsighted. He can see Bella just fine without his glasses as long as he is up close and personal.
Any Wonder Years fans out there? My husband came across the entire series on Netflix the other day. We have been watching them (in order) since Monday. It's like déjà vu, I swear. Our kids are mesmerized by things like black and white TVs and portable eight track players. And, my poor son is yet another pre-pubescent boy fallen victim to the charms of Winnie Cooper.
Also, I went to that Chris Cornell show I mentioned a few chapters back. It was fantastic! At the end of the night, the bestie and I rushed the stage when he started shaking fans' hands.
Thanks for reading!
-MSC