I own nothing.
The Borgias S3E10
Pt. 10 The Sign
"What were we arguing about?"
"I do not remember."
Cesare and Lucrezia lay in bed spent and happy, each facing the other with devilish smiles of pure, irrepressible delight.
"Shall we solve all of our disputes this way?"
Cesare took one of her hands and gave her forefinger a playful bite. "Will there be more?"
"There is always the possibility that there could be, brother."
"Then I think that would be wise."
"The things we have done together over this past week..." she began tentatively, "I shall never do with another man, Cesare."
"I don't expect that of you, sis...and you will change that feeling should you dare to meet a man special enough." Cesare's smile faded as he cast his gaze downward.
"You know that is not possible, my love, to meet a man more special than you are to me."
"It is also not impossible—I would...desire that for you, Lucrezia...for there to be a man like that, present in your life," he said cautiously, "to give you all of the love that you deserve."
Lucrezia lifted his chin and kissed it, then sought his eyes out with her own.
"I would like to believe that you mean that, but you cannot even look me in the eyes when you say it, Cesare. I would have that man be you. If he cannot be then whomever I may be next forced to marry will have my affection—if he is kind to me; will have my respect—if he treats me as one who possesses a brain and realizes that my sex does not make me an inferior being; he will have my body—because the laws of marriage dictate it; his children, I could love easily; but my whole heart will forever belong to you, you must know that. Whether I am betrothed next to an honorable man or a brute, the moments we have shared here can never be touched—or duplicated—by him or any other and they will last me for the rest of my life. I know that you will have other women beside me and your wife, I understand that a man has his needs; I'm sure that I will have mine—I am a Borgia, too..." she tweaked his nose playfully.
"Relief, dear brother...it would be relief only, for me; for the need that every body requires to be addressed...bread and water to sate me when I would lose myself instead in the exquisite delights of a banquet feast. That is what you are, my love, it is simply a fact. I know your heart wishes me happiness, but please stop trying to convince me that I will find it truly in the person of any man who is not you. And I will be arrogant enough to do the same regarding your women."
"It is not arrogance, my love..." he assured her with a tender kiss to the top of her breast.
"Ah..." she moaned as she clutched his hair at the nape of his neck, "if you keep that up we shall never get out of this bed today..."
"Who wants to?" he murmured before he took her nipple into his mouth and suckled it.
The rest of that day and evening Cesare and Lucrezia left their bed only long enough to take nourishment in the kitchen, wrapped only in sheets as they sat across from each other at the dining table awash in soft, dancing candlelight.
"I don't know what it is about this place, Cesare, but Juan haunts me here, in my dreams..."
Cesare almost dropped his goblet of wine at her words, but recovered quickly. "Really, sis? How so?"
"Well, for the past three nights or so he has been in my dreams; he is always a child, Gioffre's age, and much attached to me, as if he were my own son."
"And you? Are you a child, as well?"
"No, I am this age. As a matter of fact, both he and Gioffre are as my sons."
"Am I there?"
"Well, yes and no; neither you or mother or father are there, but Gioffre is at once himself in body but you, also."
"Really?"
"Yes, it's so strange. And the two of you are so sweet together, playing at swords or sitting at my lap to hear stories. It's all been so very sweet, these dreams. I wake up wishing he had retained that part of himself as a grown man and find that I miss him." There was a sweet smile upon her face a she played at the stew in her bowl that she had warmed up for them.
"You miss the best part of him. It is nice to be missed," Cesare managed.
"Why do they hate us so, Cesare?" she asked him then, the wistful smile at the remembrance of their brother gone from her face. "All of the cardinals have children, other Pope's before father, as well; simony is not a thing our father invented nor is he the only one who was ever accused of it; they all seek to cushion their personal bank accounts with funds from the Vatican coffers, and have done it—look at what mother, Giulia and I went through trying to get water for the poor children! Roman children! Why do we suffer so much scorn from all of Rome? Felice della Rovere is just as illegitimate as we are, yet she moves with ease and finds herself wide berth in all of the aristocratic houses of Rome—what are we so guilty of?"
"Felice della Rovere is Roman; her father is not Pope; he has the good sense to distance himself from her—but her freedoms and acceptance in the Holy City do not come without price, Lucrezia—he is cold and calculating—and a huge hypocrite—her father. And his coldness actually ensures her success. Especially in the event that he achieves that which he wants most—to see our father dead and gone from the Papal throne, himself seated in it in his stead.
"More than that, father does not burn Jews and Moors at the stake. So they say our Spanish blood is further polluted...and call us Jews and Moors; monkeys; and say that we are not fit to rule Rome and good Romans. And that is the real and only difference between our father and the Pope's who have ruled before him and the Cardinals who sharpen their knives and dream of stabbing him in his back every second of every day," Cesare told her bitterly.
"I have upset you, and I'm sorry for that, brother..."
"Then make me feel better, my love, and come kiss me...for there is nothing on this plate that will satisfy the hunger that gnaws at me now more than you..."
The next morning they indulged in a proper and languid bath together and by afternoon had taken to their horses for fresh air and a ride about the grounds. Upon their return Cesare saw someone riding toward them and knew that it was Micheletto.
"Lucrezia, Micheletto approaches—would you mind going ahead and have the cook prepare a hot plate for us all?"
"No, my love, gladly..." she rode away from him with a smile on her face and wave to Micheletto as he drew closer.
"Your Excellence..." he said when their horses were beside each other.
"You have news." Cesare braced himself.
"She was captured last night, Cesare...she escaped the soldiers in the woods by seeking refuge with her brother-in-law, Lorenzo de Medici—he has a legal dispute with her over the custody of her son, Giovanni—he turned her in. She is back at Castel Sant'Angelo under heavy guard."
Cesare looked away from Micheletto and off into the distance for long while before he spoke.
"Thank you, brother," he put a hand to Micheletto's shoulder, " Lucrezia awaits you in the kitchen with a hot meal and a kiss—go ahead, please—I'll be along shortly."
Micheletto only gave a silent nod and then hastened away to leave Cesare alone with his thoughts.