I thought I'd get this up sooner. Sorry. At least I kept my mental deadline of updating before 2015.

Thank you for your patience. This chapter had to go through many revisions and I'm not exactly thrilled with the way it turned out but it will have to do. Enjoy and please review.

As soon as it became apparent that there was a huge, gaping hole in the wall from which to escape, the muggles wasted no time; everyone capable of independent motion exited en mass. Ron snorted. Well, at least they weren't stupid.

One boy, though—a muggle of maybe nine or ten years—paused before climbing through the wreckage and surveyed the scene before him with a curious stare. Unlike the others, he appeared to be in no hurry. What the hell was he thinking? If he didn't move soon, he'd get badly hurt—or worse. Ron hoped the kid would come to his senses before he got into any trouble.

"Where is he? Ron? Ron, are you okay?"

"Harry?" Ron was sure he'd heard his friend's voice. He looked around, but only saw Alphonse (giving a badass roundhouse kick to Death Eater #2, no less.) Granted, Ron couldn't exactly afford to look around too much given that he was in the middle of a series of back and forth hexes with one of the other remaining Death Eaters. "I'm fine, but where are you?"

"I—Ow!" Alphonse, having taken down two Death Eaters in a span of less than five minutes (what the—how…?!), was making his way over to Ron, scaling fallen tables and chairs with ease. The armor let out a sort of internal clank, which was followed by the groan of a teenage boy. Harry? It couldn't be…

Ron had definitely lucked out with the current Death Eater he was dueling. He was clearly a new recruit who had little idea of what to actually do. His wand movements were sluggish and reaction times off. Hell, the man hadn't even fired a single unforgivable and they had been at that duel for nearly ten minutes! Ron thanked his sorry arse for his training with Dumbledore's Army in his fifth year.

But still, he was getting tired. Whatever curse he'd been hit with earlier was taking its toll on his body; every move Ron made had him wanting to kneel over in pain. His entire torso was practically on fire.

Luckily, Al managed to reach the Death Eater he was dueling in seconds, throwing the man to the ground with a single punch and knocking him out cold with two. "You all right?" the armored boy asked.

Ron managed a nod, and then promptly collapsed onto the floor of the café. Fighting had taken a lot out of him, it seemed. His abdomen still hurt like hell, too. When he tried to sit up, black spots just danced in front of his eyes.

"We have to get out of here," he croaked. "The Death Eaters…they'll send reinforcements. There's no time…"

Al nodded in understanding and scooped Ron up into his arms, which would have been awkward, but Ron was far too exhausted to complain. "Of course."

Harry chose that moment to lift up Al's helm. He grinned in delight at the sight of his best friend. Ron, meanwhile, was more creeped out than anything. The surprise sent a shockwave through his entire body, which resulted in a rather unpleasant lurch in his abdomen. "Bloody hell, mate! What are you doing in there?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "It's kind of a long story. You're okay, though. That's what matters."

"Yeah. About that…" Before Harry had a chance to figure out what he was talking about, Ron turned over in Alphonse's arms and heaved. The redhead closed his eyes, not feeling any particular need to see what he had regurgitated onto the floor.

His friends, of course, had no such qualms. "Is that…blood?" whispered Harry.

Brilliant. He could just picture returning to Hermione now. 'How was my day? Oh, fine. I just might've ruined the International Statute of Secrecy by letting a couple of muggles go free without modifying their memories and then I let another handful die because I couldn't watch my goddamn mouth. Oh yeah, I was also hit by an unknown curse that now has me vomiting blood. On the bright side, though, I got Al his books.'

"…Losing him!"

Was that Harry?

"Ron! Say something! …It's no good."

Ron was pretty sure he probably could have managed a couple of words right then if he really tried. But what was the point in exerting more effort? Hadn't he been through enough today? Right now all he wanted to do was sleep. Yes; sleep would be nice…

"He's out," Harry announced.

Al nodded. It really didn't need to be said. If the Death Eaters were half as strong as Harry made them sound, then Al had no doubt that Ron would've worn himself out trying to keep them all at bay. Sleep would be good for the boy, give him a chance to refresh.

It must be nice, he mused, to be able to block out all of one's worries by losing consciousness. I wish I were able to do that. But now wasn't the time to wallow in self-pity. There were things that needed to be done.

Clang. Clang. "Let me out, Alphonse. It's safe for me now."

Why wouldn't that boy stop banging on him? It was really starting to get annoying. "Um…okay, if you're sure." He carefully bent over and let him crawl out.

"I need to do this quickly," Harry explained. "The police will be here soon."

"Isn't that a good thing? And what is it you need to do?"

Harry looked up and gave him somewhat of a devilish grin. It was the grin Al had seen so often on the face of his brother right before he did something incredibly foolish. God, he missed him. He missed everybody. "I'm going to obliviate the Death Eaters first, then I'll get the muggles."

Obliviate? Why did that sound so familiar? Alphonse gasped. "You're going to erase their memories!"

Harry nodded, trying to hide the fact that he was impressed with Alphonse's memory. "And I've got to do it quickly. Do me a favor and guard the entrance, will you?"

"Uh…sure." Making his way over to the giant hole in the wall, Al suddenly stopped in his tracks. There was a boy standing near the wreckage. The kid was watching Al with a look that made the armored boy feel uneasy. Nevertheless, Al offered the boy a friendly wave, "Hello, there. What's your name?"

"Winston," replied the child monotonously, taking a step forward.

It was strange how the boy didn't seem at all confused about the giant suit of armor who was engaging him in conversation. Then again, there was a good chance that he was in shock after what he just experienced. "Okay, Winston. My name is Alphonse Elric. You're not hurt or anything, right?"

Winston didn't answer, he just kept walking towards the looming suit of armor as if Al were something as common as a vending machine. Before he could figure out what the boy was doing, Winston yanked Ron's unconscious body out of Al's arms. His body hit the ground with a painful-sounding thunk.

The noise caught Harry's attention, who spun around and looked at the boy in confusion. "You need to leave! It's out safe for you here." Winston stood, unmoving. Al let out a moan of annoyance. "I'm serious. You need to get out of here. Hang on…is that…? Oh my god! Ron! What are you doing to him?!"

Alphonse didn't wait to find out. Closer to the boy than Harry, he tried to make a grab for the boy, who easily ducked out of the way. Winston made a mad dash for the tables at the far end of the shop, knocking over tables and chairs along the way to make it more difficult for Al to follow.

"Keep working on the Death Eaters!" Alphonse said. "I'll get Ron."

Harry looked like he wanted to protest, but, realizing the practicality of the plan, sighed in resignation and continued his spell-casting.

Winston, while short of breath, showed no signs of stopping as he dragged Ron over to a fully set table. Al barely had time to register what was happening when Winston grabbed the knife from the table and held it above the redhead's jugular vein.

"No!" Alphonse plowed through the table barricade and pulled Ron away just in the nick of time. The blade missed and bounced harmlessly off of Al's metallic elbow. The ricochet sent Winston flying backward but, with almost inhuman speed and agility, he managed to turn the tumble into a perfect blackflip.

This guy seems even more fit than Teacher. At least that would be the case if he wasn't so red in the face. His ankle also seems twisted, but that hasn't slowed him down at all. It's like he didn't even notice.

Winston's lips pulled back into an animalistic snarl. "Give him to me!" he growled.

Without quite thinking his actions through, Al lifted his helmet and dropped Ron inside of his suit, trying not to wince when he heard a loud metallic clang. The poor guy would probably face a concussion from this ordeal, but Al couldn't think of a safer place to put him. His ultimate reasoning was simple: better a concussion than a slit throat.

Realizing that Ron was now out of his reach, Winston ran for Alphonse at top speed, not even cringing when his tiny body collided with the armor. "Let him out!" he shouted. "I need him! I need to kill him!"

The kid clearly wasn't in his right mind and Al didn't want to hurt him. Maybe he could be reasoned with. "Why do you want to kill him, Winston?"

"…I need to!"

"Why?"

"'Cuz I need to. Give him to me!" He made another run towards Alphonse, but this time he was ready and managed to grab Winston by the shoulders. The boy kicked and struggled, but Al was unyielding.

Harry, at this point finished with the Death Eaters, made his way over to Al and Winston. "Don't hurt him!" he shouted. "I…I think he's cursed."

"Cursed?"

Harry nodded. "One of the Death Eaters must've imperio'd him before getting knocked out. He must have been a pretty good caster, too. Usually the spell wears off when the spell caster is no longer concentrating."

Alphonse did not understand most of what was just said, but he picked up enough information to guess the rest. "Do you know a spell that can un-imperio him?"

"No, but it should wear off soon. Look at him, his movements are slowing down." Sure enough, Winston's struggling had toned down considerably.

Al shook his head. "I don't think so. He just seems to be getting tired. He probably over-exerted himself before and now his body can't push any harder."

"I don't think you understand how the Imperius Curse works. It gives people some kind of super strength. One time," Harry chuckled a bit, as if recalling a fond memory, "a teacher practiced it on our class Defense class and made Neville Longbottom do a gymnastics routine—"

Alphonse had so many questions about the validity of this teacher…and also who in the word had the last name "Longbottom," but decided to save his questions for another time. Right now he had to get his point across. "This 'curse' of yours might act as some sort of super strong hypnosis that makes him temporarily not mind exhaustion or pain, but I highly doubt it can give someone extra muscle mass or—"

"It's not hypnosis! It's magic."

"Look, I just—"

A loud groan echoed from the inside of Al's armor.

"…Why does my head hurt so much?"

It was lucky that Western General Hospital was near by. Harry was less than thrilled about handing Ron over to muggles, but he figured it would have to do for now.

On the way there, Ron vomited blood three separate times. Alphonse visibly grimaced every time he did but Harry couldn't tell if it was out of actual concern or worry at the idea of his suit's interior getting stained.

They had decided to take the kid—Winston—with them. After everything he went through there was no doubt he would need medical treatment. Hopefully the police would be able to contact his family.

Their trip to the hospital attracted more onlookers than Harry would've liked. To be fair, though, this was probably the most ridiculous of their set ups: Alphonse running at full speed with a stunned Winston in his arms and Harry desperately clinging on piggy-back style. By the time they reached the hospital, Harry was so fed up that he just confunded his way into getting an appointment.

"Don't worry, Ron," he whispered. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Headmaster! Headmaster!"

Severus Snape fixed his eyes on the portrait in unhidden annoyance. Like always, he voice was icy cold and scarcely above a whisper. "What is it, Phineas? And hurry it up. I don't have all day."

The former headmaster merely grinned, not at all alarmed by Snape's less than warm greeting. "I think I may know where Potter and his friends are hiding."

To the casual onlooker, Snape's expression would not appear to have changed. But Phineas caught sight of a slight widening of the Headmaster's eyes in tandem with an ever-so-subtle eyebrow raise.

"And where might they be?"

Phineas's chest swelled with pride at the thought of helping in the noble name of Slytherin. "Edinburgh. One of them mentioned a location called the Elephant House. It's a muggle café that Albus used to frequent. The little brats forgot I was there and practically sang their location to my face."

"I see. Acceptable work, Phineas." From Snape, that meant thank you.

"Oh, one more thing. They seem to have met up with a friend. A muggle boy, if I'm not mistaken. He goes by the name Alphonse."

"Well, that is interesting indeed."

"Headmaster, what is it you plan to do?"

Snape did not answer. Instead he flicked his wand until a silvery mist appeared. Phineas watched in interest as the mist reformed itself into the shape of a doe. Before he could inquire further, Snape exited his office with his cape magnificently billowing behind him. The doe, too, hastily retreated.

Phineas smirked. Every time he thought he had that man figured out, Snape did something to surprise him.

Yes. Interesting indeed.

Ambiguity in D Major: There will be more Phineas and badass Alphonse to come, but I think that I will avoid sending over any more FMA characters...at least in the traditional sense.

Harrys_woman: Haha, yeah. Honestly, that would probably be my first question, too.

chica_alter_ego: He's working on it. But Al can still kick butt without it.

urs-v: Thanks.

Kyuubi_No_Puma: Coming to store this fall...

Kenzie Perth: That would be awesome!

Guest: Good point and thank you.

Miss_Moe: I like doing it, too. It makes me a) feel like I had lots of friends and b) appear to have longer chapters in the word count. The idea to respond to reviews came from a South Park fan fiction writer, actually. Like you, I felt special when responded to, so I decided to take on the practice.

The_Awesome_Us: Thanks.

Ai_Jay: That makes sense. I'll keep that in mind when I write them in the future. Thanks.

Manta_Cat: Thank you.

COMING UP...

Ron discovers the joy of an Upper Gastrointestinal Study, Al begins a very special art project, and a disturbing discovery is made.