Here we go! Thanks to those of you who have left reviews. It really helps motivate me to write more of this story. We only have about two more chapters left, so I hope you are still enjoying it. Enjoy this update and, as always, let me know what you thought! :)
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Chapter 10:
Excitement doesn't even begin to describe how David is feeling today. They are doing what Regina called a 4D ultrasound - more detailed than the 3D ones Dr. Whale has been administering at his office.
She'd told him last week after Olivia's birthday party that they were going to go and that this ultrasound would show their son's face in more detail - they would be able to see tiny little features that the regular, grainy image couldn't produce. Once she described it, he remembered going to Olivia's; getting to see her little face on the screen had been an amazing experience.
"Are you ready?" the woman, Ashley, asks them.
David squeezes Regina's hand, leaning down to place a kiss to the top of her head as he nods, looking down to make sure his wife is ready as well.
She's situated on a bed, the room is different than the ones in the hospital. It's much more welcoming. There's a couch and chairs in the front part of the room for if people bring family members with them and a corner full of toys, which Olivia is currently dutifully playing with while they get Regina comfortable on the bed. The bed is nestled in the back part of the room behind the couch so that it faces a large, empty wall that the ultrasound will project onto.
She shifts, tucking her shirt up a little bit higher before confirming that she's good to go.
"Alright," the blonde girl smiles, reminding her the gel will be cold. She squirts a dollop on Regina's belly before smearing it around with the doppler.
After a few seconds, the blank wall directly across from the bed lights up with what the machine is seeing. Olivia is babbling away in the corner to herself and the stuffed animals she's found to play with, and David gently shushes her so they can hear her baby brother's heart beat.
The room echoes with the thump, thump, thump of his little heart, and tears instantly spring to David's eyes. He loves that sound. "Oh, man," he breathes, looking down to Regina with a wide grin on his face.
Her emotions match his, her brown eyes wet with tears as well as she beams up at him. Ashley clicks a button on the machine, and before he knows it, his son's face is right before his eyes. A sepia colored image of the baby resting inside his wife's stomach. It's so much clearer than the regular ones, so much more detailed. He's in awe. He remembers doing this with Olivia, but seeing it again, it's amazing. Technology really is an astounding thing this world has.
"Look at his nose," Regina giggles, pointing to the wall.
"I see my brother!" Olivia gasps, standing up and walking to look at the giant image more closely.
The adults all chuckle at her joy as David asks her to take a step back so they can all see without her shadow in front of it. The little girl giggles, walking over and climbing into David's lap. "Sorry, Daddy!"
He leans down, kissing the top of her head, assuring her it's fine. David sets Olivia down, encouraging her to go play while they finish up.
She scurries off, humming softly to herself as she finds a puzzle stashed in the basket to play with.
David smiles, turning back to look at the screen. "I think he has my nose," he declares proudly, reaching up to touch his own in confirmation.
Regina chuckles, nodding in agreement. "And… my mouth… maybe?" She huffs playfully, saying it's not fair that all their babies inherit his features in the beginning.
He laughs, when a memory suddenly assaults him.
"It's not fair, David," Regina whines, crawling onto the bed. She straddles his waist and his hands come to rest on hers, smooth skin beneath his finger tips.
"What's not fair, babe?"
She huffs, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips before rolling off, flopping down onto her side of the bed. "She looks just like you."
He laughs, craning his neck to look over at the baby monitor screen that sits on his night stand. Olivia is in her crib, fast asleep and sucking her thumb.
"She's still young," he laughs, "Don't they always look like their dad for the first few months?"
"She's almost eight months old!" she sighs, rolling onto her side to face him. Regina smiles up at him, reaching over to run her fingers through his hair. "I guess if she can't look like me, it's a good thing you're handsome."
Chortling, David rolls to his side as well, nodding and reminding her that Olivia has her dark hair at least.
Regina scoots closer, draping her arm over his hip. "You're right," she sighs dramatically, placing a peck to his shoulder. Her lips trail up, planting a kiss to his neck, then his earlobe, before finding his lips.
He groans into the kiss, deepening it when he rolls onto his back, bringing Regina to lay on top of him. "And who knows," he mumbles when he pulls back, pecking her lips once more. "Maybe one day she'll look just like you."
"You think so?" she beams, biting her lip in hope.
David nods, telling her he thinks her blue eyes are here to stay but he has no doubt the older their daughter gets, the more like her mother she'll look. "She's already starting to look different day by day."
Regina smiles, pressing her lips to his again. She pulls her head back, smirking as she says, "Good, I can't have another kid look like a Charming."
David guffaws at that, taking his hand that's been resting on her rear up to her side, tickling her for good measure. She squeals, rolling off of him and holding up her hands in surrender. He laughs, stating that Henry at least inherited some features from Neal so he's not, "all Charming and nothing else."
She giggles, nodding her head and letting out a sarcastic, "Thank God," before whapping him on his chest as payback for the tickles. "At least you're cute," she says with a shrug, linking their hands together between them.
David grins over at her, situating the covers around their bodies. "And Olivia will be gorgeous no matter which one of us she ends up looking like."
"Mmhm," she agrees, already starting to drift off to sleep.
As David lays there, caressing his wife's hand, he can't help but to just know, somehow, that their little princess will definitely look like their queen one of these days.
Shaking his head, he chuckles to himself, knowing he'd been right. Not long after that night, Olivia's features had started to slowly morph more into her mother's likeness than his. She still has her beautiful blue eyes like him, and his cheekbones and ears, but that hair, her little nose, those pink, pouty lips… those are all Regina, and he couldn't be more thankful for such a gorgeous little girl.
"David?" she asks, tugging on his hand.
He blinks, shaking his head again as he grins down at her. "Sorry," he whispers, pointing to his brain momentarily, "Memory came back to me."
She smiles, nodding. This has happened several times since he's gotten home from the hospital so many weeks ago. It's just part of their new normal now. If he ever spaces out, Regina or Henry are usually there waiting to ask if he'd gotten another memory back or if he was just daydreaming.
Regina squeezes his hand, looking over to Ashley and then back to the screen. She moves the wand around, trying to get the little guy to move in her belly. They play music from David's phone (like they do some nights before bed), hoping it'll make him move so they can get a better image of his little arms and legs. Their son wiggles a little bit, enough for them to get a glimpse of him, and David can't help but grin watching their baby move to the music he loves so much. Ashley takes a few more pictures, printing enough for each parent to have one (Snow and Emma as well), and before they leave, they record the baby's heartbeat.
Once recorded, Ashley can put it into a device that sits inside a stuffed animal. Regina chooses the elephant to match their son's nursery, and the younger woman places it inside, handing it to Olivia and telling her to give it a squeeze.
Their daughter does, hugging the elephant to her body but pulling back with a gasp when the heartbeat she'd just heard on the screen comes from the toy. "Cool!" Olivia chuckles, pressing on the elephant's stomach once more.
They smile watching her, and then Ashley cleans the gel off Regina's belly, confirming how many prints they want of the ultrasound.
Once she's cleaned and David has helped her from the bed, they take their pictures, once again marveling at the details they can see on their son's face (he's sucking his thumb in one picture and Regina just can't get over how adorable it is, claiming they need to put that one on the refrigerator). Making their way from the building, ensuring Olivia still has a tight hold on the elephant, the three of them make their way back home.
Henry is there doing homework, and Regina is excited to get home and show him his little brother. David sighs contentedly to himself as they all climb into his truck. He looks over at his wife, then in the rearview mirror to Olivia who sits happily in the back, swinging her legs and talking to Regina about going to the park later with her, Eli, and Eric.
Regina promises they'll go once they drop the elephant and everything off at home, telling their daughter that Snow had some errands to run this morning but they'll meet up with them once she's finished.
David listens, still in a daze at the memory he'd unlocked earlier and how wonderful his life truly is with Regina by his side. He takes her hand in his, bringing it to his lips to press a soft kiss there and reversing from the parking spot, making their way back home.
{*************************}
David and Henry had decided to join her and Olivia at the park, making for a fun family outing. They headed out a little before Snow and Mulan were able to meet, giving the four of them a chance to enjoy a picnic in the grass.
It's mid-September so the weather outside feels amazing. The sun is out today, warming her skin, but there's a light breeze billowing through the trees that shade the patch of ground they chose for their picnic. She's laying on the blanket now as David cleans up their sandwich crumbs and emptied bottles of water, Olivia curled into her side, stroking her bump gently. Henry is reading them a story from one of his story books, and she could almost fall asleep from the peacefulness she feels.
Although she does wonder how she's going to get up with her giant belly now that she's made it down to the ground. Sighing, she figures she can have David hoist her up if need be, and continues to card her fingers through Olivia's long, dark hair, twisting the ends that already have a natural curl to them.
David settles across from her, sitting criss cross on the blanket and giving her a warm, loving smile as he reaches over, massaging her foot that is sticking out toward him. God, that feels amazing. If she could physically lean all the way back on this blanket, she would definitely fall asleep for the rest of the afternoon. They spend the next few minutes listening to Henry's story, Olivia making comments at the silly parts, causing them all the chuckle.
"Hey everyone!" Snow's voice calls, popping the serene bubble her family had created. She can't be too mad, though, this is the reason they came out here this afternoon.
"Hey, Snow! Mulan!" Henry calls, clapping his book shut and tossing it onto the checkered picnic basket. He stands, walking over to scoop Eli up into the air, causing the boy to squeal in delight. Olivia joins them, chasing after her brother with Eric as Henry throws Eli on his shoulder, dashing away in an attempt to thwart their advances. It's adorable, and makes all the adults smile in their direction.
The kids make their way to the swings, calling for David to come push them (the boys claim David is a better pusher than any of the women). At their insistence, David rolls his eyes in humor, helping Regina up off the blanket. He presses a kiss to her cheek before smiling over at Snow and Mulan and running off to join the children.
She smiles, shaking her head at his excitement as he hollers down to the boys that they better get ready to fly. He really is just a big kid at heart sometimes, and she loves him for it.
"He's so good with them," Mulan comments, settling on the wooden bench.
Snow and Regina join her as Regina agrees, claiming he's amazing with children. "He's a great dad," she beams, watching him play with all four of the children.
The women spend the next half hour catching up on everything that's been going on since Olivia's party last week. Mulan tells her about her impromptu business trip she had to make a few days ago, Regina asking if everything went okay.
Mulan owns Storybrooke's community center, an endeavor she took on with her brother soon after they arrived. Chang usually teaches the martial arts classes while Mulan is in charge of self defense courses - something not particularly needed these days in their peaceful little town, but still a good skill for people to have just in case. The center's equipment had been run down after hardly being used for two decades, and Mulan had finally found a supplier that she thought provided high enough quality items for her members. She'd met with them earlier this week, securing enough equipment with her city funded budget (that Regina had approved last month) to last quite a few more years.
"It was good," Mulan nods, assuring the mayor that she didn't use all of the allotted funds so, "Hopefully I can find something to use the money for soon. Maybe that kickboxing class I've been wanting to implement."
Regina nods, saying that sounds like a great idea.
Snow smiles, listening to her best friend and wife discuss business, but interrupts, suggesting they should offer some classes at the elementary school.
The three discuss the idea, tossing other options around before changing the subject.
They watch the kids playing, laughing when Eric trips over Henry's feet, causing him to fall into the teenager's side before rolling into the sand dramatically. "Boys are so rough," Regina laughs, rubbing her belly. "It's been so long since I raised one, I almost forget until I see those two." She points toward the twins, giggling as Snow shakes her head.
"You can't really compare them to Henry, though," the pixie haired brunette laughs. "Our boys are… more rambunctious than I remember Henry being."
Mulan laughs, apologizing and admitting that'd be her fault. They definitely got their spunk from the warrior side of the family.
Regina laughs, assuring them that their boys are just being typical boys, playing together and having fun.
"I've certainly had to learn that a few scrapes and bruises never hurt anyone," Snow jokes, shaking her head.
Regina smiles to herself, thankful Henry was never quite as rough as Eli and Eric, and hopes neither will the new baby since he won't have a wild twin to egg him on. Although, he'll have Olivia, and isn't that practically the same thing?
Smirking, Regina informs them they can at least run around today outside while the weather is still nice. "Maybe they'll sleep like hibernating bears tonight because of it."
"One can only hope!" Mulan chirps, causing them all to snicker.
The women are quiet for a few moments, taking the time without kids to check their email and not worry too much about the kids knowing David and Henry are with them.
"So how have things been, Regina?" Snow asks, locking her phone and setting it on her thigh.
She smiles, looking between the two women on either side of her. She tells them about the 4D ultrasound this morning, saying she has pictures for them in her purse. "I'll get them when I can get up from this bench again," she huffs playfully, pointing toward the direction of David's car where her purse resides. Regina gushes to them about the features they saw and how she secretly hopes their little boy looks like David. "How cute would he be with blonde hair?"
Snow and Mulan smile, nodding in agreement. "Maybe he'll be the opposite of Olivia," Mulan suggests, "blonde hair and brown eyes."
She smiles at that, the image in her mind warming her heart. "That would be lovely."
Snow prods some more, asking how things have been since the party. "I know you were worried about forgetting to tell him and everything."
Regina nods solemnly, admitting, "I was. I apologized several times, and he's promised me it's okay." Her cheeks flush, remembering how they'd made up so many times that night and the next day, but she won't dare share that with her friends, no matter how close they may be.
Mulan seems to get the hint, chuckling under her breath on one side of her while Snow sits on the other, oblivious to Regina's thoughts.
As always when thinking about David, though, Regina is overcome with fear for the future. She bites down on her lip, twisting her hands together.
Snow reaches over, taking her hand in her own, and looking at Regina in concern. "What is it?"
Sighing, Regina shakes her head. "It's nothing." She shrugs her shoulders, cursing the tears that sting her eyes in this moment. At Snow's insistence and Mulan's comforting rub between her shoulder blades, Regina let's out a defeated, "I'm just worried."
The women question her about it, and she finally confesses, "I'm worried that even if his memories come back, his emotions won't be there."
"What do you mean?" Snow questions, turning to get a better look at her.
Huffing, Regina reaches up, dragging a hand down her face before tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I just mean… he might remember, sure, but that doesn't mean his emotions will connect with the memories." She explains to them how he'd already admitted as much to her before when he'd gotten a few flashbacks of their marriage. When his memories of Olivia flooded him, the emotions did too, giving Regina a little bit of hope, but the next time he remembered something involving her, there were no emotions there. She'd spoken to Whale about it, of course, who had regretfully informed her that was a typical development in memory recovery. "I just fear that it won't be the same… it will never be how it was."
Mulan shakes her head, trying to comfort her by vowing that he already is falling back in love with her, he'd told her as much. Regina shakes her head at her words, however, the emotions overwhelming her as she lets a tear trickle down her cheek.
Reaching up to swipe it away, it's as if the floodgates of her fears have opened and she asks, "Will he still love me like he did before?" She sighs through her nose, adding, "He loves me, sure, but will it be the deep, souls connected kind of love that we had before the accident?" She looks from side to side at each of her friends, eyebrows pinched as she explains, "Right now it's just… flirty, you know? Puppy dog love, not the deep - you're my other half - type of love we shared before."
Sniffling, she leans her head on Snow's shoulder briefly, breathing out deeply. Mulan pats her back some more, and she's so thankful for their friendship. Sitting up, she discloses how she's been talking with Archie, and they both encourage her that that's a good thing.
Regina smiles, nodding and telling them she knows. David has been going, and she thought it would be a good idea for her to pick her sessions back up (she'd stopped going soon after the curse was broken all those years ago, but remembered how nice it was to talk with him, to get it all out in a safe environment, free of judgement).
"It's been helpful," she admits with a pitiful shrug. "But Archie still doesn't know what to tell me when I ask him the same things I'm asking you. No one can assuage my fears that my husband won't ever love me like he used to."
They're silent for a minute, her words reverberating in all their minds as her friends determine exactly what to say to make her feel better. She can feel the couple eyeing each other across her, silently trying to find the right words of advice.
"Regina…" Mulan starts, but she waves her off, pressing down on her belly as her little boy kicks back.
"Don't," she chides, knowing there's nothing they can say to make her feel better. Her fears can't be soothed by words of comfort. The only thing to take them away is for David's memories to come back.
She hears Snow sigh from beside her, and looking over, she just knows another hope speech is on the tip of her tongue. "I'm not going to give you a whole speech," Snow declares, giving Regina a pointed look.
Smirking, glad her stepdaughter knows her so well, she lets out a single dry scoff. "But…?"
Snow beams, sitting up straighter, clinging to the glimmer of permission she's just been granted from Regina. "But," she emphasizes, looking over to Mulan who just rolls her eyes at her wife, "You do need to have hope, Regina."
Cutting her eyes back over to the perky woman, she gives her a knowing look. Snow shakes her head, clicking her tongue against her teeth. "I know, I know, I know," she declares, holding up her hands. "But it's true! If you don't have hope that David will love you like he did, what do you have to hold onto? You can't just give up completely."
"Can't I?" Regina asks dryly, rolling her eyes once more for good measure as she turns to look out at David chasing the twins around the swing set. A small smile blooms as she does, loving that man with every ounce of her being despite him possibly never loving her as deeply again.
Snow huffs, grabbing Regina by one shoulder and garnering her full attention. "Even if his memories never come back fully, or," she looks up to the sky as if she's thinking, saying, "if he never loves you the way he once did, David does love you, and that's a wonderful thing!"
The tears that had ceased come back, and Regina twists her lips, trying to keep them at bay. She blinks rapidly, knowing Snow is right. She knows that having this version of David love her is amazing, but it's not the same. She misses her husband - misses the level of comfort they shared before, where she could completely be herself around him. She misses not having to explain little details about their lives. She just misses… him.
But she can't admit that, can she? She knows that makes her sound like a terrible person and more importantly, an awful wife. She vowed to stick by him in sickness and in health, and she is, she would never leave David over this, of course she wouldn't, but it's hard, no matter how much he may love her now.
Breathing in deeply, she tells Mulan and Snow this, finally confesses to someone how she misses the David he was before, and where she thought there would be judgement, her friends only look at her in understanding.
Mulan squeezes her shoulder, assuring her that she's justified in her emotions. "It's hard," Mulan sympathizes with a shrug, adding that she can't imagine what Regina is going through. "If Snow woke up one day and couldn't remember me or the boys, I'd be devastated."
Regina nods in thanks, biting her lip to try and quell the tears. Mulan goes on, reminding Regina how strong she's been through all of this, how she's dealt with everything like the brave, amazing woman she is, and the tightness in Regina's chest loosens. It's nice hearing someone else admit that they would struggle too if they were going through this. It feels good to be understood on some level.
Thanking them, Regina wipes under her eyes, drying any stray tears that may be lingering as Olivia bounds up the hill toward them. "Mama! Mama!" she shouts, giggling as she runs toward Regina, looking over her shoulders every few seconds. "Save me!"
The three women laugh as David appears, one twin connected to each leg, each one growling and reaching out like a zombie toward Olivia.
"Oh no!" Mulan gasps, standing up and making her way to David. She pretends to battle the twin zombie, defeating him when David dramatically falls to the ground, both boys groaning at their loss of battle.
Snow and Regina glance over at each other, smirking at their families.
Taking a deep breath, Regina opens her arms, letting Olivia climb into her lap. The twins settle onto the picnic blanket, begging Henry to read to them when he finally makes his way up from the playground. David lays out in the grass, breathing deeply. He looks up to Regina from where he lays, chuckling and confessing he doesn't have as much energy as he once did in the Enchanted Forest.
The adults all laugh, Snow assuring him that he definitely does not - none of them do - and they all spend the next half hour catching their breath and enjoying the sunshine.
Olivia stays in Regina's lap, rubbing her belly like she so loves to do and talking softly to the baby as Regina calms herself down, not wanting her family to see the tears she'd shed on their outing. She has a feeling David can sense it from the way her keeps squeezing her ankle lovingly, giving her a face that reads far too much like, Are you alright? So she just gives him a reassuring nod and a tight smile, telling herself that everything will be okay.
{*************************}
The ride home from the park is quiet. She can't tell if Henry and Olivia are tired from playing all afternoon or what, but she is grateful for the silence so she can stew in her emotions even longer. David has been uncharacteristically quiet, glancing over at her every few minutes. He's quietly humming to the radio as he taps the beat of the song to the back of her hand that he holds, though, bringing a small smile to her lips despite how stuck in her own feelings (and head) she is right now. Once home, Regina makes a half assed excuse about needing to run to the grocery store, when really she's escaping to the cemetery to try and find a solution to their problem. Kissing the tops of the kids' heads and giving David a light smooch as well, she heads to her vault.
She's been scouring it for hours now, searching through every spell book she could get her hands on but to no avail.
Huffing in defeat, Regina flips through another one of the many books she keeps down here, finding nothing about reversing memory loss.
There's pages upon pages about wiping someone's memory, stealing memories, changing memories - all dark magic, spells she once would have loved to cast upon her worst enemies. But of course, no book pertaining to magic as dark as hers will have the cure for such a spell. What evil doer would want to reverse their handiwork?
Tossing her current book to the side with a grunt, Regina picks up another from the messy stack she'd created when she'd stormed in, grabbing all the tomes she could find and bringing them to rest upon her table in the middle of the room. "Fuck," she mutters angrily, flipping through more pages of worthless information. Tears prick her eyes and she moves her jaw side to side trying not to cry again as she starts to realize this is useless. Nothing in her vault will be of any use to her.
She turns, scratching at her stomach as her eyes scan the walls, checking the ingredients still left down there. She pulls a few - dog's breath, eye of newt, dragon's tooth (she has Mal to thank for that one), hemlock root, among others - hoping to make a concoction that might work. Regina thinks back to the spell she cast on herself when Henry was a baby, the one that took her knowledge of who his birth mother was, allowing her to enjoy the time spent with her little prince. She looks up those items, rummaging in her brain as to what would counteract those, but comes up short.
Nothing.
There's nothing in her mind that can work. Nothing in these books that will help. She doubts Rumple has any book with reversal spells, he's already told her as much when she first asked him about it weeks ago. Useless imp.
Anger boils inside of her, the baby boy in her belly giving her a gentle kick, clearly trying to take her mind from the troubles and calm her down. Nothing is working though. She misses David, knows she has him, but it's not the same. No one seems to understand that everything is different now. Yes, he is falling for her, and yes, they are getting along. That's all wonderful, but they're not as comfortable with one another as they once were, she can't completely be herself just yet, it's like living with a new boyfriend instead of a man whom you were so deeply attached to, you never saw yourself living with anyone else, and she hates it. Hates feeling like she has to put on a show in front of her husband.
Those tears finally fall freely, making a resentful path down her cheeks as she cries. Shouting out in angered frustration, Regina throws her current spell book across the room. It hits the wall, thudding to the ground, shattering empty potion bottles that sit near it and stirring up the dust around it. Regina slumps to the floor, back sliding against a wooden trunk that still holds some of her old garments from the Enchanted Forest. She places her hand on her stomach, rubbing circles to try and calm herself down, but to no avail.
"Damn it," she whimpers sadly, wiping the tears from her face as more fall in their place. Life is so unfair, she thinks. Always has been for her. Taking a shaky breath, Regina fiddles with a broken piece of glass near her thigh, tossing it across from her, shattering it into even smaller pieces as it hits the stone wall. She sniffles, tears falling down her face even harder. There seems to be no stopping it now, but she doesn't care. She's all alone here, no one to tell her it will all be okay or to give her a hope speech. She can let out her fiery resentment and then go home, pretend everything is alright, and go on living her life with a husband that will never fully remember her.
Maybe Snow was wrong, maybe there's no hope in returning David's memories after all. This is her new normal, and she has to learn to live with it. Somehow.
{*********************}
Once her tears have dried and she's calmed her nerves, Regina makes her way back home.
When she walks in, the downstairs is dark save for a light flowing into the hallway from the living room. Checking the time on her phone, she sees she was in her vault far longer than she'd planned. It's past bedtime now, and she instantly feels guilty for not tucking Olivia in.
David is sitting on the couch, television casting a glow on his skin as he sips on a soda. She smiles, loving this man despite her fears.
Regina pads over to where he sits, feet propped up on the coffee table with his ankles crossed, and joins him. "Hey, you," she says quietly, taking the can from his grip and setting it on the table.
David smiles over at her, looping his arm over her shoulder and bringing her closer to him. Regina smiles softly back and pulls her legs up on the couch, snuggling into his muscled chest.
She hums contentedly, rubbing her stomach as she lays her head on his shoulder, mindlessly watching children compete in a cooking competition together.
He's quiet, but she doesn't mind. It's nice to sit together like this, peaceful, not having anything to do or anyone to take care of. It's a lazy night and she loves it.
"You okay?" David asks, popping the bubble around them. He kisses the top of her head as she nods, confirming with a mumbled, I'm fine.
David lets out a breath through his nose, saying, "I wish you would talk to me, Regina."
Furrowing her brow, she sits up straight, twisting to look at him. "What do you mean?" Old fears creep inside of her as visions of Snow White possibly spilling yet another one of her secrets invade her mind.
David gives her a sympathetic smile, tilting his head to the side and reaching over to pick up his drink, taking another sip of his drink. "You just seemed off after the park earlier," he explains, tapping the end of her nose.
She relaxes at the touch, sighing out. Biting her lip, she stares into his eyes, deciding how honest she wants to be with him. One one hand, if she tells him of her deepest fears about all of this, she will feel a huge weight lifted off of her shoulders. But on the other hand, she would never want David to feel guilty, never want him to feel burdened by her fears. It's why she never confided in him with this particular worry in the first place. It's the whole damn reason she opened up to Snow and Mulan at the park and why she meets with Archie once a week. If David was aware of it, she knew he would feel pressured to remember her, which is the last thing she wants. If he feels pressured, there's a higher risk of his memories never coming back at all.
Sitting up straight and taking a deep breath, Regina blows it out, deciding to just be honest. That's always been their policy with one another - always be honest, no matter what. "I was just… upset… earlier."
She looks up at him under her lashes and sees a look of concern cross his features. David rights himself on the couch, sitting up but laying his arm across the back of the couch so he can play with the ends of her hair. "Upset about what, babe?"
Closing her eyes, Regina calms her racing heart before explaining, "I was telling Snow and Mulan how I'm afraid…" she trails off, reaching up to play with the hem of his shirt sleeve, "afraid that you won't ever remember me completely." She glances up, catching his eye. He's looking at her so understandingly that it makes her heart ache. "You may get your memories back, but we can't know for sure if you'll ever have the same emotions for me that you once did."
She rambles on, telling him everything she'd already expounded on at the park earlier today. He watches her closely, nodding as she speaks. When she finishes, she looks up at David sheepishly. "I'm sorry…"
"What are you sorry for?" he asks in confusion, scooting closer and pulling her to him. "Your fears make complete sense." He admits that he has the same fears, how he stays awake at night begging any god that will listen to bring his old emotions back. "I want the same thing, Regina, more than anything," he vows, saying, "I'm sorry I can't promise you things will get better. That hurts me more than you know."
Shaking her head and wishing the tears forming in her eyes to go away, she tells him that she knows. She understands that he can't make empty promises to her like that, and she wouldn't want him to. "We just have to take things one day at a time," she states, adding timidly around the lump in her throat, "but some days are harder than others for me."
She swipes under her eye, making sure no stray tear has fallen, and she smiles over to him.
"Regina," he sighs guiltily. She can see his blue eyes shining with tears, and oh, she hates this. She knew he would feel bad, and she didn't want that at all. "Why didn't you tell me any of this sooner?"
He looks hurt, and she breathes out deeply through her nose, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. David smiles into the embrace, pulling her close once again. Pulling back slightly, she looks deep into his eyes, telling him exactly why she didn't disclose her fears to him before now. "I didn't want you to feel like you had to remember me," she explains, tears threatening to form once again, damn it, but she pushes them away. "I want it to come naturally, if it comes back at all. I don't want you feel pressured to remember just because I miss how we used to be. That's not fair to you."
It's a quiet confession, but one that she knows he hears loud and clear.
Regina lays her head on his shoulder once more, and he presses his cheek to her hair. They stay there for a while, her arm draped over his stomach and his feet propped up on the table as they watch the little twelve year old boy be crowned king of the kitchen. After a few minutes of peace, David breaks the silence again, saying he understands why she didn't tell him but, "You know I love you right?"
Regina smiles brightly, giving him a nod and a sincere, "I love you, too," back because she does. She knows David loves her, just not in the same way he used to.
She leans in, pressing her lips to his. He deepens the kiss, giving her all the love he has for her right now through the kiss as if they're teenagers trying to makeout before mom and dad come home. Shifting her body so they're more closely pressed together (as close as they can be with a thirty-two week belly stuck between them), a moan escapes the back of David's throat as his hand comes to tangle in her long hair.
When they pull back, breathless, they settle further into the couch together, and she grins to herself. This may not be the life she signed up for, it surely isn't the one she imagined for herself when she and David got married, but if this is her new life, she's pretty damn lucky.
{*************************}
Thoughts?