A/N: Thank you very much to everyone who said that they liked last chapter. I got a lot of great responses saying that MerDer wasn't moving too fast, which made me just say, "Alrighty, then. We're not changing this one…"

Also, thank you for congratulating me on my competition outcomes last week. I have to say…abandoning my story for four whole days to focus on that is worth it now! It was exciting and fun. It was all through Job's Daughters if anyone has heard of it…although, I doubt you have…and it was a lot of fun!

Here we go, Chapter 10…and page 50 in Microsoft Word. That includes all of my A/Ns and…and starting a new page at the end of each chapter…but still…it's over 20,000 words, and I've never gotten this far on a fanfiction. Definitely gonna keep this chapter pretty MerDer heavy…just a warning.

Without further ado…

Chapter 10: Walking Contradiction

Derek may have been tired, but there was no way he would fall asleep tonight. Meredith needed him, and that's exactly how it would remain. He held her close. The sleeping form had yet to loosen her grip on his blue scrubs top. That was okay with him though. The blonde hadn't shown any discomfort or fear yet, but he didn't know what to expect. She seemed so vulnerable and so scared after what happened that he wasn't willing to risk anything.

There were three light raps on the door. He turned his head to see a different blonde in the doorway. A look crossed her face – first of unease, next of relief. Derek let a sad smile escape from his lips. Izzie nodded and came in to sit on her friend's bed. She didn't speak, just watched. Meredith was slowly easing herself into a more comfortable position. Derek shifted with her, hoping not to wake the sleeping woman.

After several minutes, Izzie broke the awkward silence, "She trusts you?"

"I'm not sure," He whispered softly. "All I did was reiterate what I'm sure everyone has said – that it wasn't her fault – and she lost it. I held her because she needed someone, and then I told her to sleep. I promised I wouldn't leave."

Izzie nodded, "She needs someone like you."

"I just hope I can be what she needs," The man said despairingly.

"Just so you know, she had a nightmare earlier when she took a nap. She started shouting something and tossing and turning," Izzie's voice shook softly as the memory came back to the surface. She pushed her emotions aside and kept talking to the other doctor, "Just, don't let her get too far in. I don't know how easy it would be to pull her out."

Derek nodded and ran a hand gently through Meredith's blonde hair. Izzie stood up, offered up a small nod in the man's direction, and left the room quietly. He heard a door shut and felt Meredith's body tense slightly. Within seconds, though, she relaxed again. One hand still held loosely to his scrubs, while the other was nestled underneath her head. He was relieved that the body in his arms had yet to stir, as she'd only had an hour of sleep yet. Still, he was worried that she wouldn't remain in a resting state for a very long time. The way Izzie looked as she spoke of Meredith's nightmare was enough to convince him that he did not want to be a witness to another.

It didn't matter whether or not he wanted to witness what could happen. Derek knew that much. What did matter was that he had made a promise to the woman he loved. He had sworn to protect her and hold her no matter what. He couldn't give that up. He wouldn't.

---

Meredith had been asleep for nearly three hours by the time Derek started losing feeling in his legs. As light and skinny as the blonde who was cradled in his arms was, nothing changed the fact that no movement for three hours still made the legs feel funny. He wiggled his toes and ignored it for another hour or so until Meredith began turning. At first, it looked like she was just getting more comfortable. However, she started muttering little, nonsense, words under her breath and finally shouted something that Derek couldn't comprehend.

It took him a moment to know what to do, and then the neurosurgeon quickly acted. He kissed her forehead and started talking. Every word was a word of comfort – something to ease the fear. Slowly, Meredith calmed down and opened her eyes. She tried to pull away at first, until she recognized the arms that protected her from harm. Derek loosened his grip on Meredith and kissed her forehead gently. He ran a hand through her hair and spoke very softly, "It's me, Derek. I won't hurt you."

She relaxed into his arms, accepting the embrace that he was willing to offer. Derek continued whispering soft words into her ears, "I promised I'd be here, didn't I? It's alright now, you just had a nightmare. It wasn't real."

The blonde's breathing was still unsteady and the look in her eyes was one of fear. While Meredith knew she was safe in Derek's arms, she was still scared. What if she wasn't safe? What if he tried to hurt her? Meredith tensed up again as the thoughts crossed her mind. The man wasn't sure as to what he should do. It appeared that the woman didn't want him there, but she wouldn't release her death grip on his upper arms for anything. So he sat there, silently, waiting for some sign.

It took a few minutes, but soon, Meredith spoke, "Get out. Get out."

"Meredith," Derek pushed. He didn't get it. She wanted him gone?

"Finn," She whispered. Hatred filled the woman's voice. She looked into Derek's eyes for the first time since the night before, "I want him out of this room and out of this house. You promised to protect me, do it. Get him out of here, please."

She was pleading with him to kick an invisible person out of the house. Derek didn't understand. Confusion covered his face and he decided the only thing to do would be call Addison. He didn't want to, he had to. So, very carefully, he placed the shaking figure of Meredith Grey on her back in her bed. She wouldn't release his upper arms, and he had to make the phone call. Thinking quickly, he knew exactly what to say, "If you let go of me, I'll go call the police so they come and arrest him, okay?"

Meredith carefully and hesitantly removed her hands from his arms. Derek offered her a comforting look before pulling too far away, "I'm just going to be right across the room. He can't hurt you while I'm in here. Okay?"

The Blonde nodded, giving Shepherd the confidence to go call his soon-to-be ex-wife. While it would be the most awkward thing ever at 1:30 in the morning, he knew he had no choice. Addison connected so well with the injured intern that he didn't know who else to call. He heard the ring of her cell phone on the other end and her drowsy voice greeting him.

Derek quickly regained his composure, "Addy?"

"Are you alright? Is Meredith okay?"

"It's fine," He assured the panicked woman. "She's just, well, she was having a nightmare and I woke her up and she's been asking me to get him out of her room and her house. I'm facing her. She's curled up in a ball on her bed, shaking. I told her I was calling the police to come help me get rid of him. What's wrong with her, Addison?"

"She's probably having a flashback. It's a bit early in the healing process, but everyone is different," The voice on the other end was cool and collected – calming Derek's nerves. She spoke again, "Sit with her and tell her he's gone. I'll be over in about twenty minutes. Don't leave her alone, whatever you do."

"Thank you, Addison."

"Of course. I'll see you soon."

Derek hung up the phone and returned to the chair by Meredith's bed. Without touching her, he sat down and pulled the chair closer. Slowly and quietly, he started to address her, "Mer? It's just me. I promise, he's gone. Will you look at me?"

There was no response outside of moving further from the voice. Derek sighed and tried again, "Finn's gone. I promise. I made him leave. Will you look at me? Please?"

Meredith rolled over to face him. Derek felt a little more confident, but just as scared as before. He had about twenty minutes worth of time to fill before Addison arrived. He held a hand out to the woman on the bed, who grabbed it and held on like it was her only lifeline. He started talking to her again, "He's gone. I won't let anyone hurt you like that. Do you understand?"

She nodded. Her face was void of all emotion, but she was still looking at him. Derek didn't know what to say. The girl looked more than broken, she looked too far gone. She looked almost as though the Meredith he used to know and love would never truly be back. The only thing that scared him more than never having the woman he loved whole again was not having her at all. Closing his eyes, he offered a silent prayer to whatever gods there may be in this world to help make her whole again.

As he reopened his eyes, he saw Meredith staring at him blankly. Not knowing what to say, he just rambled, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine."

Not convinced with her dull response, he pushed a little, "Does anything hurt?"

"No."

"Are you tired?"

"No."

He didn't know how to take her single word answers. Maybe she just didn't want to talk, but that wasn't right. How could you go from thinking the man who raped you was in your house and be fine the next moment. Unfortunately, Derek didn't know how to read any of it, nor had he ever dealt closely enough with it to know what to do. He sat there silently for a while until he heard the doorbell ring. Meredith jumped at the sound and he heard George or Izzie slam the door to one of the other bedrooms. That didn't help the intern under his watch at all.

"It's okay, Mer," He whispered soothingly. "I'm here and no one can hurt you here. I promise."

He continued uttering caring phrases. They were soft and comforting, perfect for Meredith, who seemed to melt into the sounds. She scooted closer to him and he gently pulled her into a hug. She sat up a bit and rocked back and forth gently in his arms. He heard footsteps ascending the stairs and approaching Meredith's bedroom. She made no sign that anything was happening. There were three soft taps at the door and Derek turned to see Addison shepherd in blue jeans, a blue long sleeved t-shirt, and red hair pulled into a messy pony tail.

"Hey," She stated softly.

Meredith looked at the door and nodded towards Addison. She remained close to Derek's warm, strong body. She felt safe and protected again, and she didn't want to lose that. Addison entered the confines of the bedroom she had spent the previous night in, walked to the other side of the room and sat on the bed. She rested a hand on Meredith's back, rubbing gentle, small circles. Meredith quickly relaxed into a comfortable position.

"He's gone, right?" She whispered after several minutes of silence.

Derek looked to Addison, a silent plea to help him. Addison nodded, "He's gone."

Tension was released from the small body as she realized that no one would hurt her at the moment. She sat up slowly and leaned against Derek's body as much as she could. Addison visibly cringed at the action. Derek caught it, but Meredith was completely clueless as to the events happening around her. She nestled closer to the safe body and he willingly accepted her. Even if Addison's presence was awkward, Satan was making Meredith comfortable and had been more successful in convincing the younger woman that she was safe. For that, he was grateful.

"So," Meredith started, "I guess we need to talk about something."

Addison looked lost, "What do we need to talk about?"

"Whether or not I'm pressing charges."

Derek grabbed her hand in a supporting gesture, "We don't have to talk about that now if you aren't quite ready."

"I need to something," Meredith replied firmly.

Addison nodded, "That is, quite possibly, going to be your hardest step. Now, I never took that step-" Derek's jaw dropped at Addison's words, "-but if you feel the need, I understand. In fact, I urge you to do so."

Meredith closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn't want to. She never wanted to see him again. However, that wasn't her only problem. The hospital was required to report it. She would either have to go through with it or deny the truth and say she was confused and scared. That, however, wasn't true.

"You know I didn't have a choice but to inform the police," Addison whispered. "They need to talk to you about it. I'm sorry, and I wish I could have avoided it, but any rape kit examination-"

"-has to be reported to the authorities," Meredith finished in a timid voice.

Derek pulled her close, "Whatever you do, you know we both believe you and we'll both stand by you."

He, however, was still in shock from finding out that Addison had been raped and had yet to get any information. Meredith shifted out of his reach, "I have to pee, guys. Sorry."

Derek grabbed the crutches leaning on the wall near him and helped her out of bed. The two said they'd wait for her right there and assured her one final time that she was safe. As soon as Meredith was out of her bedroom, Derek shifted into a comfortable position on the bed. He looked Addison in the eyes, opened his mouth, and spoke, "You never told me."

"Told you what?"

Derek glanced at the bedspread and then back at his wife of eleven years, "That you…you were raped."

fine

A/N: Alrighty. That seemed like a good place to end it. Obviously there will be an interesting conversation between Derek and Addison soon. And that whole little talk with the police. I know Meredith's whole "I gotta pee" thing was awkward, but I really needed to get her out of the room so that Derek could approach Addison. I mean, come one, your wife and best friend of eleven years was raped and never told you! That would be an interesting realization, wouldn't it?

And I don't know how I like this chapter. I know I say that a lot…but this really wasn't what I'd intended on having happen. At All. So let me know what you think. I'll rewrite if necessary…because this is totally crappy, I think. Thanks a ton for reading! It means a lot!