Diclaimer: I do not own Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. I only own Alex and any other character I may come up with in future chapters.
A/N: Hello, I'm very sorry for taking so long to update but I had a few problems with the next chapter and I didn't want to post this one without it being finished. I like to have a one chapter cushion between the one I'm posting and the one I'm currently writing. This chapter would have been up yesterday but I got into writing chapter 12 and didn't want to stop, as I was on a roll.
Someone in the reviews mentioned that they would like to see a conversation between the team about Alex after the way the last chapter ended. That wasn't really in my plan but the idea spawned this chapter. It's a conversation between Coulson and May. I felt it was more fitting then the whole team, as it was to many people/opinions to have a serious conversation like this. You will notice through out this chapter that I use May's first name rather then her last. There is a reason behind that. The conversation, to me, wasn't between Agent May and Agent Coulson but between two long time friends, Phil and Melinda. I mention that somewhere in the chapter.
One other thing I would like to mention to everyone. I will be posting updates to previous chapters over the next fews days. These updates will include missing words, grammar fixes and some changes that I felt needed to be made. The changes aren't big and don't impact the story much. One of the changes, which you'll notice in this chapter is that I changed the Hub to Headquarters or HQ for short. The more I thought on it, it felt more appropriate place. I'm not really sure if S.H.I.E.L.D. actually has a HQ but in my story they do. You don't have to reread the chapters, if you don't want to but I thought you all should know.
A question before you all go on to read the chapter. Could any of you tell me please the ages of Jemma and Skye? I read somewhere that Jemma's birthday is the same as the actresses, so I know how old she is but not Skye. That would be very helpful.
Hope you enjoy the chapter.
The Hacker, Biochemist and The Beast
Chapter 10
Cockpit Conversation
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Coulson's POV
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Shutting the door to my office with a soft click, I just stand in front of it with my hand on it staring at the wall. The conversation I just had with Alex before she fell asleep still playing in my head. I had already known that she struggled with that part of herself from conversations with Maria and Natasha earlier. To actually hear the words come out of her mouth and said with meaning is another story. She just needs to believe in herself, believe she is more then her DNA. This could be the start of showing her that. I think, turning my head to look at the closed door.
A few weeks after Alex was brought in, Fury asked me to talk to her. I was sceptical of me talking to her because she hadn't said a word in the three weeks she had been there. To this day, I can't believe that the Alex I met that day is the same one laying on my couch sleeping. It goes to show what a hot shower and three meals a day will do for a person. Her hair was longer then it is now, longer then Skye's. The clothes she was wearing were dirty and had holes in some places. They were also big on her. Fury told me they offered her a change of clothes but she didn't accept them. When I entered the room, I knew her eyes were on me even though her head was down a little. She looked up at me when I took the seat across from her. Her eyes darted all over my face and I noticed her nostrils flare a few times. I'm not sure if the camera's caught it but I saw the corners of her mouth turn up and her posture relax just a little. Taking this as I good sign, I introduced myself as Agent Phil Coulson. She nodded her head in response, the first one she gave. I didn't think she would answer when I asked but she told me her name. After that first meeting with Alex, I became her handler of sorts.
I felt bad for leaving her about six months later when everything first started with Loki. Maria told me she took over after me on Fury's order, reluctantly. She didn't think Alex would take to her like she surprisingly took to me, something I still don't know why. To Maria's surprise, Alex did and that started the relationship they have now. Maria also told me that not once did Alex ask where I went or if I was coming back. There was a few times she thought that Alex would but didn't. We both think she never asked either of those questions because she thought it was none of her business. After my recovery, I thought about seeing Alex again but thought better of it. I didn't want to pop back into her life after being gone for so long, only to have me gone for long periods of time. Wouldn't be fair to her. I think, sighing heavily and debating if it really was a good idea.
To a select few, I'm still alive but to the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. I'm dead. Alex doesn't know that or at least I don't think she does. I'll ask Maria the next time we talk. Moving away from my office door and towards the cockpit. I need to talk things out and there is only one person on this plane I can do that with.
Melinda is sitting in the pilots sit with a cup of tea, it's late, and a book. The plane is on autopilot but she still likes to sit up here incase of an emergency and she needs to take the controls. She doesn't acknowledge my presence as I take a sit in the copilot chair. Melinda and I have known each other a long time and she knows I will talk in my own time, same goes for her. We can sit in silence for long periods of time with out it being uncomfortable.
"Alex is asleep in my office." I say after we have been silent for a good ten minutes. "I think it was a combination of exhaustion and the painkillers Simmons gave her." I observe, seeing Melinda close her book and set in her lap.
"She needs the rest." Melinda comments, holding the cup in both hands.
"Yeah, she does." I agree and we fall back into silence, looking out at the dark sky. "Alex believes she belongs in a detainment facility." I finally say the thought that has been weighing on my mind since Alex said those words.
"What brought that up?" Melinda asks with surprise in her voice, probably not thinking that is what was bothering me.
"She over heard Fitz and Simmons talking about the Fridge." I explain, still surprised she asked about it. It was brought up once but Fury shot that down quickly. "Asked what it was and why she wasn't sent there. I told her Fury wants her for something and that's why she isn't there. The conversation went down hill from there." Sighing and rubbing my forehead with the palm of my hand.
"How so?" Melinda simple asks.
"I told her that he sees something in her, like Maria, Natasha and I do, and wants to use her for something. Even if she doesn't agree to do what he wants her for, that he will not send her to the Fridge but a smaller detainment facility." I recap the conversation while staring directly in front of me. "I told her we wouldn't let him send her anywhere and she countered that he is the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D., he can send her anywhere he wants too. Muttered that she was probably better off somewhere else." Frowning again as I say the words Alex said so quietly before. Out the corner of my eye, I see Melinda frown as well.
"She doesn't believe that she is truly in control of what she is." She muses with a thoughtful expression. "I can see the struggle in her eyes sometimes. It's why she is also so guarded around people. Doesn't want to get too close." Telling me her theories on Alex. Melinda has always been good at reading people, why I chose her to be my second in command.
"More then likely." I agree with a nod and lean more into the chair. "She also disagrees that she is special and is actually tired of hearing it. Said something about being perfectly happy blending in. I think that she was referring to her life before this happened to her as well. If she is, probably won't help." A bit of frustration entering my voice.
"No, it won't help." Melinda agrees before taking a sip of her tea. "I read her file before bed last night, no one has ever asked if she had a life before or any other personal questions." She points out and I remember noticing the same thing when going over Alex's file as well.
"More interested in finding out what she knows about who did this to her." I say bitterly with a shake of my head. "She told me once that she has this empty spot in her memories. That she remembers up to a certain point in time and is blank up until other point in time. I never got a chance to find out more." Sadly remembering that a few days after that conversation I had to leave.
"Maria never looked into it more with her after taking over from you?" Melinda asks curiously, furrowing her brow.
"No, she didn't. At least not officially." I answer turning to look at her. "She could have gone into it with Alex and just never written it into her files."
"I don't think she did. She might have asked but I don't think Alex gave her any answers." Melinda hypothesizes, looking out at the night sky. "When asked a question she seems to debate before answering, even if it's the simplest thing. It goes back to her not wanting to get to close to people." Closing her eyes with a sigh.
We fall silent again, each lost in our thoughts about Alex. This is why I came to Melinda to talk out my thoughts. I can tell that like Maria, Natasha and I that Alex has wormed her way into Melinda's heart. Alex has a knack for doing that to the most closed off of people and she doesn't even mean too. Whatever Alex's future at S.H.I.E.L.D. holds for her, she has a small number of high level Agents in her corner.
"What are the chances of her becoming a member of the team?" Melinda asks, breaking our silence. I close my eyes and sigh, wondering the same thing a few times.
"I'm not really sure. Like I said, Fury wants her for something but the chances of Alex agreeing to what he wants are slim." I answer with my eyes closed, with another sigh I open them to look at her. "I think she would do well as a member of this team. She would have three people close to her age around, have some sort of freedom, doing good with S.H.I.E.L.D. and maybe learn to accept who she is." I list off the main benefits of Alex's becoming a member of the team.
"Those are good points." Melinda agrees with a nod of her head. "I can think of two team members that wouldn't mind having her stick around." She says, smirking from behind her cup.
"Skye and Simmons." I state in surprise but shouldn't be. It's May, she notices everything.
"They have taken a quick liking to her and it seems Alex has as well." She tells me, raising her eyebrow at my tone. "If its allowed, I can see a strong bond forming between the three. I see a difference in Alex when one or both are around her." She says thoughtful with a small smile.
"I see that difference too. She seems to be more relaxed." I say, remembering how she was at breakfast. As soon as Skye sat beside her, the tension from Ward being nearby seemed to just disappear.
"What's the plan for her when we land?" Melinda asks curiously, tilting her head to the side.
"Maria wants to talk to her." I say, wincing internal when I say 'talk'. "After that I'm not sure. I'm hoping she'll be allowed to spend time with Fitz, Skye and Simmons until we have to leave." I say a little hopefully.
It all depends how Alex reacts to the 'talk' Maria and Natasha have with her and how far they take the protective parent lecture she is about to get. From our conversation, I think Alex still questions the motive behind why both women care about her. They said that they are working on a few things and are hoping they will be ready for when Alex returns. Maria said it's something she has been thinking of doing for a while and that my report on how well Alex has done on the Bus. I'm not sure what the plans are but both women looked happy about them.
"It all depends on what kind of mood Alex is in after the talk." I tell her honestly and Melinda just gives me a questioning look. "Maria told me that Alex locks herself away when she is in certain moods. She might be allowed to spend time with them but might want to alone after for a bit. Though it might be good for her if it's true what we believe they do for Alex." I explain and Melinda nods her head in understanding.
"I hope they aren't to harsh with her." She comments after a few minutes of being quiet. "It was a bit reckless and stupid to go in alone but it was well thought out. I have been thinking about it since she told us the plan and I can't come up with another plan that doesn't end in Ward, you or I getting seriously hurt. I just briefly fought him in the park and I found that hard to handle, even with Alex there. He was a tad sloppy in his style but he was quicker and stronger because of what he is. Makes me glad Alex is on our side, especially after the little training she has gotten from Natasha." She says, chuckling a little at the end.
"Yes, so am I." I agree with a smile. "It's probably why Fury wants her. She has the potential to be a great asset for S.H.I.E.L.D. with more training." Pursing my lips when I think back on my conversation with Alex before. She has no intention of doing whatever Fury wants her for and I fear what will become of her whenever he decides she is ready to be a part of that but refuses.
"We'll find a way to get her on the plane, Phil." Melinda assures, placing her hand on my knee. "It might not be tomorrow or any time soon, but we'll find a way." She says, punctuating what she said with a firm squeeze to my knee before removing it.
"I hope we can." I whisper, looking out the into the night sky.
We fall into a comfortable silence again, nothing more to be said. Melinda goes back to reading her book and I continue looking out at the sky. I feel a little lighter after my talk with Melinda and have a better understanding of everything regarding Alex. Her future is uncertain to me but she has a small army in her corner willing to fight for a better one then she had before S.H.I.E.L.D., whatever that was. The only real road block is Alex herself. I'll help you, Alex. I promise.
A/N2: Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you all next chapter.