Chapter 7.5: Zako Zako Hour
The curtain lifted, showing Red Mic, Blue Mic, and Yellow Mic.
"Ladies and gentlebots," Red Mic said, "and welcome to the Zako Zako Hour! Today's meeting is all about, all together now!"
The three held up inactive Control Horns and yelled, "We Have Awesome Weapons But Can't Win!"
A mixture of boos and cheers filled the room.
"Zako-zako!" Red Mic gestured to the screen as it showed the Control Horn in action. "If you attach this Control Horn to any sort of robot, then they fall under Dark Axis control!"
"But why do we pull this move each and everytime, Zako?" Yellow Mic asked.
"Hey, I take offense to that," Blue Mic piped up, "We don't do it every time!"
"We don't?" Red and Yellow Mic leaned into Blue Mic suspiciously.
"…Okay, you're right, I guess we do." Blue Mic admitted.
"Yup." Yellow Mic nodded.
"Well, just between us," Blue Mic said, "The Dark Axis troops are very good at making things from scratch."
"That's true." Red Mic nodded.
"I'm glad we agree." Blue Mic nodded, and pointed to the screen. "So, we attach these Control Horns to the other side's robots become our evil minions, you see."
"Really?" The other hosts asked.
"Persuasive!" Red Mic noted.
"Zako-zako." The other two nodded.
"But-but-but," Yellow Mic exclaimed, "If we here at the Dark Axis can't make things very well, where did Lord Gouf get his ultra-fancy jet board, huh, zako?"
The screen showed footage of Grappler Gouf flying on his board.
"That's a good question, zako!" Blue Mic said, "Let me think about this for a moment…aha! Because Lord Gouf can't make stuff, he must have stolen it! So, he's…"
Red Mic and Yellow Mic fell into the abyss of despair. "A thief….!"
Then all three of them burst out laughing.
"Oh, that Lord Gouf!" Red Mic chuckled, "If cannot make it, just take it!"
"Zako!" The three of them chorused, "That's the Dark Axis way of doing everything!"
"…We are so cool!" Red Mic commented.
"Zako!" Yellow Mic smiled. Then he frowned in thought. "Hmm, well that means...
"The Dark Axis fortress…
"And the Magnamusai…
"And the Zakurello Gate…
"And the Komusai…
"and this…" He held up an battle ax. "And that…" He held up a Zako gun. "And we Zakos are stolen from some other place?"
Red Mic gasped. "Oh no! That can't be!"
"That's got to be a lie!" Blue Mic shivered, "Don't say things like that!"
The two of them then realized that Yellow Mic was gone. For a moment, the stage was devoid of his presence.
Then, Yellow Mic flew in on a familiar-looking flight board.
"Huh?" The two land-bound Zakos asked, confused.
Yellow Mic landed and smiled triumphantly.
"That…so that board is…" Red Mic tried to ask the big question, but couldn't.
"I've secretly stolen this from Lord Gouf!" Yellow Mic gloated happily.
"Zako!?"
"Hey!" Grappler Gouf's face appeared on the screen, live. "the Dark Axis is always losing because you lugnuts are always stealing stuff! How dare you steal my board!?"
The hosts panicked.
"Forget what I've said before!" Red Mic yelled to the audience.
"Stealing is a bad thing!" The hosts cried before the curtain fell.
"Anyway, everyone!" Red Mic yelled, "For the future of the Dark Axis…
"Zako Soldiers, fight!"