We're hitting the double digits now for the chapters, yaaay! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH for all the amazing and positive feed back for this story (oh my god I just typed in food back but I edited it now, it's all good). It literally means the world to me. Apparently people are talking about this story on Twitter? That is so awesome haha! I actually have a Twitter and would love to talk to you guys, so if you want to know what it is just PM me or leave a review, and I will PM you! Anyways, I really cannot thank you enough for the crazy amount of reviews you guys give me. I'm sending all my love to each and every one of you! A jealous Austin request, you say? Um, DUH. Here you go, ladies... Let the fun begin...
"Ally, come on!" Austin shouted, running towards the cotton candy booth. I timidly stepped forward but shrank back, the tall rides and pale faced strangers with red noses frightening me. Austin looked at me confusingly as I tugged nervously on my braids."Ally, what's wrong?"
"I don't like it here," I murmured to him.
His young brown eyes immediately softened as he shot me a comforting smile. "There's nothing to be afraid of. See those guys?" he said, pointing to the scary looking paint faced people. "Those are just clowns. They don't really look like that. Underneath all that gunk they look just like the rest of us."
"Why do they have all that stuff on their face?" I asked him, letting go of my braids.
"It's to make people laugh. They do magic tricks and pull pranks on people. They're the good guys, Ally, I promise," he explained. I bit my lip in hesitation.
"Are you sure?" I asked. He took my hand and that's when I felt my face heat up, my heart race at an unusual pace.
"I won't let anything bad to you," he declared, linking his pinky through mine and sending me a grin that was, for some strange reason making my stomach feel queasy yet delightful all at the same time. "Promise."
And as he took my hand, not letting go of it, as he led me towards the clowns, as we watched the clowns make animal shapes out of balloons, I looked down at our hands clasped together, then up at him. What was this perplexing feeling I was having, these weird heart palpitations and waves of queasiness in my stomach? It wasn't until the clown handed me a giraffe shaped balloon that the realization hit me:
I like Austin.
I shook my head, blinking rapidly to get rid of the memory. Of course, this task was practically impossible. Erasing a memory, a feeling, a person, was harder and more difficult than I expected. In my song book, if I didn't like a lyric, I could grab an eraser and run it roughly against the page until it was faint and gone. But life didn't work this way. A soft piece of rubber couldn't erase a heart brimming with a thousand emotions for one single person. It was scientifically impractical.
"Ally, we're here," Elliot's voice suddenly said, interrupting me from my thoughts. I gave him a weak smile and got out of the car. I was seventeen now, yet my heart still seemed to be twelve. The last time I had been at a fair, I had realized that I had feelings for my best friend. This time, right now, five years ago, was completely different. I looked over at Elliot and, to be honest, he really wasn't that bad of a guy.
He had picked me up on time. He had complimented my outfit, even though all I had on was a loose light blue tank top paired with jeans and wedges. His car had been clean and presentable. He didn't blast his music.
But a different girl should be in my place.
I belong in a rusty pick up truck, being driven by a blonde haired boy who likes to play his music obnoxiously loud. That's my rightful place. That's where I've always been.
The fair lights still shone just as brightly as they did five years ago. The colors on the clown's faces were just as vivid and clear and sharp. I could faintly smell the corn dogs and fries being cooked over at the Food Booth, and I smiled as I reminisced back to when Austin and I had to scrape our money together just to buy one small plate of fries.
"There they are!" Elliot announced, and my heart flopped as he took my hand in his and dragged me towards the two people I had been dreading to see.
"Hey guys!" Kira exclaimed cheerfully, sporting a floral dress. Our eyes locked and I shifted uncomfortably. I broke eye contact with her and turned to face Austin, who held a grim expression as he observed Elliot. "This is going to be so great! I haven't been to a fair in forever."
"Same here," Elliot replied. "I'm just happy Ally asked me to come with her." He turned to me and smiled, squeezing my hand. I gulped.
"It's really no problem," I murmured, taking another glance at Austin, who at the moment was resembling a volcano ready to burst. Kira stared at him questioningly, leaning in to whisper comforting words in his ear. I felt my teeth clench together. Jealousy was not a feeling I was familiar with, and so far it didn't feel pleasant. I intertwined my fingers with Elliot, who looked at me with surprised eyes, and forced a smile onto my face. "Promise you'll come with me on the ferris wheel?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Austin's body tense up, his hands slowly turning into fists. He shot me a look, but I brushed it away.
"Promise," Elliot said, grinning now. "What should we go on first?"
"How about-"
"That roller coaster over there," Austin said quickly, interrupting me from my sentence.
"Austin, I don't really like roller coasters..." Kira added uneasily. He wrapped an arm around her and I looked down at the ground, spotting the small cracks the earth was beginning to form.
"It'll be fine, trust me." A strange glimmer appeared in his eyes. "In fact, you can ride with Ally!"
"What?" I asked, folding my arms. "But I-"
"I'd like to sit with Elliot, chat with him for a couple of seconds," Austin said. "You wouldn't mind, right Ally?"
I shot him a glare and let out a shaky sigh. "No, not at all," I seethed.
Really? the friendly voice in my head asked. Because if I were you, I would mind that I'm on a date with the wrong guy, that the right guy is on a date with the wrong girl, and that the wrong guy and the right guy despise each other.
You're not helping, I thought.
Wrong and right didn't matter at the moment. What mattered was...
I have no idea what matters.
"I feel like I'm going to hurl," Kira moaned, her face looking sickly pale. My eyes widened, and my Old Ally best friend instinct took over.
"Oh no, come on, let's get you to the bathroom," I said, placing my hand carefully against her back while swinging her arm over my shoulder as I led the way.
"We'll wait here," Austin replied, grinning in an off putting manner.
Don't do anything to him, I mouthed, glaring.
Never, Austin mouthed back, sending me an innocent smile.
As Kira knelt down in front of the toilet, spewing with all her might, she managed to ask one question. "What are you doing?"
I blinked and frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked, rubbing her back comfortingly. She took another swing before answering.
"Why are you helping me?"
I bit my lip and stared at the floor. So many unwritten words were laced within her question. She had stolen the boy that I loved. She had ruined our friendship. Why was I helping her?
"Because it's the right thing to do," I replied, staring her straight in the eye. She nodded, sending me a small smile before leaning over to empty the rest of her contents. I had been taught at a very young age to do the right thing. As I grew older, I taught myself to do the right thing more often when no one was looking, because we shouldn't always need recognition for doing something right.
"Ally," Kira gasped, leaning her forehead against the palm of her hand as she squeezed her eyes shut. "You go ahead, I'll just catch up with you."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
She nodded her head. "Positive. Go. You can't keep Elliot waiting forever," she laughed. I sighed and got up from the floor, dusting my jeans and exiting the bathroom. My eyes scanned the crowd, which was teeming with large groups of teenagers. I spotted a boy and a girl holding hands, still young and naive, still living in a land where worries were simply spelling tests and who could swing the highest. I couldn't help but feel my heart swell at the fact that I used to be them. If only they knew that time eventually caught up with you, and everything you knew, everyone you knew, could change drastically.
I spotted Austin and Elliot and began to walk toward them but froze when I heard my name in the conversation.
"Ally really is something special," Elliot sighed. I blushed. Maybe Trish was right. Maybe Elliot had real feelings for me.
"She is," Austin replied. My ears perked up. "What I don't get is why her?"
There was a pause and I could only imagine the forlorn look on Elliot's face, a look he gave when he truly didn't understand or grasp the concept of a question.
"Why not her?" he finally replied. "Have you seen Ally, man? She's hot-"
"Hey," Austin said threateningly and Elliot cleared his throat, murmuring something I couldn't quite make out.
"She's smart, funny, a great singer, and she's down to earth," Elliot continued. "The biggest question is why haven't you made a move?"
I froze, every inch of me, as my ears strained and prepared themselves to hear Austin's answer. My heart was pounding at an unhealthy rate and I wanted to scream that question at the top of my lungs. This was the question that haunted me in my sleep, that distracted me from my homework, that everyone was always constantly asking me. Perhaps now, after so many years of waiting, I would finally receive a satisfactory answer.
"You don't think-"
"Ally?" Kira asked. I jumped from my spot and Austin and Elliot looked up suddenly. Austin's ears were turning red and Elliot scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"Kira," I breathed, fighting off the urge to strangle her. "Are you alright now?"
She nodded, patting her stomach. "I think I need to stay off the roller coasters," she chuckled. I ran my fingers carelessly through my hair. So close.
So close.
Elliot squinted at me with curious eyes. "You weren't eavesdropping, were you?" he asked, smirking. Austin waited for me to answer. I took a deep breath.
"Nope," I lied, my voice steady and calm but my heart racing. "Come on. Let's try that game over there." Austin's eyes continued to burn holes into my back as I took Elliot by the hand, tugging him towards a water gun shooting booth. The rows of stuffed animals seemed enticing enough to make me smile and squeal at them. Elliot instantly realized what he had to do, so he took ahold of the gun and began to shoot at the target... or at least attempt to. I bit my lip, stifling a giggle at his trial and error experiment.
"He's terrible at that," a voice whispered in my ear. I turned around only to come face to face with a pair of familiar brown eyes. I frowned at him.
"It's the effort that counts," I shot back. "Where's Kira?"
He nodded his head over to Kira, who had her eyes set on a table filled with jewelry galore. My eyebrows rose in recognition. "Of course," I murmured.
"So how is your date?" he asked, his tongue clicking distastefully at the word date. I scowled.
"He is fantastic," I replied. He snorted and I shot him another look.
"Sure he is," he said as we both watched Elliot's shoulders slump in disappointment and defeat.
"Ally, I'm-" Elliot began, but I cut him off.
"It's okay," I said, giving him my warmest smile. "Those games are hard. I can't blame you."
"Oh, come on," Austin groaned, and I sent him my warning look. "It's not that hard!" He picked up the gun and aimed it at the target. "Is it so hard to shoot at the target," he said, pressing the trigger, "earn all the points," he continued as Elliot and I watched him reach a maximum score, "and get a stuffed animal?"
"Which one do you want?" the man behind the booth grunted, waving his arm towards the shelf. Elliot's jaw had dropped to the floor and Austin smirked, his eyes twinkling as he turned to look at me.
"Pick whatever you want, Ally," Austin said, leaning to whisper in my ear before he walked away. "You're welcome."
My cheeks blazed a bright pink as I watched his figure walk towards Kira. Darn those plaid shirts he wore. Darn that smile of his. Darn everything. Elliot stared at me with careful eyes.
"He's right. Pick something," he murmured softly. I shook my head, swallowing the knot in my throat down and placing my hand in his.
"He's not my date," I said, feeling my heart soar as his face lit up. Maybe with Elliot, there could be a happy ending after all.
The table was awkwardly silent as our mouths continually kept hesitating to make conversation. Elliot and I sat on one side while Austin and Kira sat on another. There was clearly some sort of invisible line drawn here, something that separated all of us from one another. But I was willing to climb that wall.
"Senior year has been so hectic," I stated, breaking the lull.
Elliot nodded his head, quick to agree. "Between the play and my AP classes, it's honestly a nightmare. Senioritis is real, man."
Austin rolled his eyes. "Well between my classes, sports, and demo recording, your schedule is pretty puny."
My jaw dropped wide and then I realized that he had said two words I was not familiar with. "Demo recording?" I asked, my voice small. His face dropped and he cleared his throat uneasily.
Kira nodded, grinning. Of course she would know, always one step ahead of me. "Isn't it so exciting? My dad is really eager to hear Austin's demo. If he likes it, Austin just may become the next big thing!" she squealed. My stomach dropped as I stared at him questioningly, wondering what on earth she was talking about.
Kira noticed the sudden tensity that had filled the air. "You didn't know?" she asked.
I sent her a cold stare. "No." She shrank back a bit.
Elliot placed a comforting hand on my knee, and I didn't know whether to feel reassured or nervous that his hand was on that part of my body already. "That's great, Austin," he said, sending me a consoling smile.
I nodded slightly, forcing a grin. "It's great," I repeated.
"So the play is coming up soon," Elliot said, changing the topic much to my relief. "Did Miss Lu tell you the extra she was adding into the script?"
I shook my head. "What extra?" I asked.
"Yeah, what extra?" Austin asked, his tone rough. I shot him a glare.
"Ariel and Eric have to kiss," Elliot stated simply. My eyebrows rose in shock, and I heard something crunch. I looked over at Austin, who had squeezed his water bottle to death.
"A kiss?" Austin seethed. I looked at him questioningly, sending him Ally signals to calm down.
"I think it's perfect. Right Ally?" Elliot inquired.
"I don't think it's perfect," Austin cut in before I could even reply. "A kiss, I mean, out of all the things she could add into the play! She could add in a... a hug, a handshake... those things are romantic, too!"
Kira laughed. "A handshake, Austin?" she giggled.
"The kiss sounds stupid," Austin huffed. "Right Ally?"
"Um, w-well-"
"She'll be fine," Elliot sighed.
"No she won't," Austin replied.
"Yes, she will."
"No, she won't!"
"Yes."
"No."
"Ye-"
"Guys!" I yelled, taking one last bite of my pizza. "Whatever I do is my decision!" The boys immediately shut their mouths, but not before Austin let out one last mutter.
It sounded strangely like: "But I'm your best friend."
"Do you like the heart shaped balloon I forced the clown to make you?" Elliot asked, a mischievous grin plastered onto his face. I giggled, holding the lightweight pink item tightly in one hand.
"It's great," I sighed.
"You're killing me," he said suddenly, and the smile faded from my face.
"W-what?" I stuttered. He stared at me for a moment and then laughed.
"It's not a bad thing!" he exclaimed, and my shoulders dropped in relief. "I just... I need to ask you something."
My stomach began to shake. "Okay," I murmured softly.
"Am I a good date?"
I looked up at him in surprise and let out a startled laugh. "That's the question?"
He blinked. "Well, yeah. What did you think I was going to ask?"
My face was burning with embarrassment. "I thought you were going to ask about... you know..." I let the sentence trail off before the light bulb appeared above his head.
"The kiss?" he said, then looked at something behind me and spoke louder. "You thought I was going to ask you about the day I kissed you?"
"Why are you talking so loud?" I asked, turning around to see what he could possibly be looking at. My eyes fixed themselves on a blonde head standing out in the crowd and my heart stopped. I whipped back around to shove Elliot's shoulder. "To answer your question, yes you were a great date until you did that!"
A hand tightly latched itself onto my arm and dragged me through the crowd. I panicked, flailing around until I realized who it was. "What are you doing?" I screamed.
Austin didn't say a word as he continued to pull me, squeezing the both of us through the clusters of people. The smiles on their passing faces began to blur together and I felt my eyes tearing up in fear. We finally stopped in front of a ride, and I looked up at the distinguished one we happened to land on. We waited in the line silently. I kept opening my mouth to speak but the look on his face held me back. His eyes were dark, darker than usual, and his mouth was formed in one straight line. As we took a seat in one of the cars and the ride began to move, he opened his mouth.
"You kissed him." Three short words said in a flat tone that I couldn't manage to read. I couldn't bring myself to look at him so I stared at my hands instead.
"No..." I sighed.
"No?" Austin snapped.
"No. He kissed me," I explained. "We were rehearsing our script at Mini's and then he said..." I paused, realizing that to tell the whole story, some truths needed to be left unsaid. "...something. And it upset me, and then he just leaned in and... you know."
"But you guys kissed?" Austin asked. I nodded, fiddling with the ends of my hair.
"And you didn't tell me?" he asked, leaning towards me. I shrank back.
"I didn't know how to tell you," I said, my voice quivering. "I honestly just want to forget about it, okay?"
"Sure, let's try and forget the fact that my best friend got her first kiss and she didn't even tell me!" he yelled. I frowned.
"Are we really going to do this right now?" I groaned, folding my arms.
"We're on a ferris wheel. I think now is a good time for anything," he shot back. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Fine! Anything, hm? How about the fact that your girlfriend is more interested in shiny jewelry than you?" I questioned. He glared at me.
"Well your boyfriend can't even win you a stuffed animal! How lame is that?"
"He's not my boyfriend," I flared. "Why are you so pissed anyway?"
He opened his mouth and then shut it.
"I answered all of your questions," I stated. "Why won't you answer any of mine?"
He looked at me with intense eyes. "Maybe you aren't asking the right questions."
I rolled my eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, but he sat stubbornly in silence. As we reached the top, I noticed how close we seemed to the sky. The stars appeared to be just within reach, and the moon was softly glowing. I turned my attention back to Austin. This whole night had been a whirl wind of mixed feelings, of trying to have a perfect night with a perfect date, even if he was the wrong guy. But now here I was the right guy, and I was on a ferris wheel with him, and everything should have seemed right with the world. "Do you remember when we were both twelve and you brought me here?"
The grim look immediately was swiped off his face and a comfortable aura filled us both. He cracked a small smile.
"Of course," he said softly. "You were terrified of the clowns."
"You held my hand so that I wasn't scared," I added, chuckling. We shared a delicate laugh as the ride began to slowly spin its way back down to earth. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about the kiss."
He shrugged his shoulders. "It's okay," he murmured.
"Do you want to know why I didn't tell you?" I said, my knees shaking. We were almost reaching the ground now and I had to say it before I lost my nerve.
"Why?" he asked, his eyes burning themselves into mine. I gulped. The ride came to a halt and our door opened.
"Because it wasn't with the right guy."
The drive back home in Elliot's car was silent a good majority of the time. I stared out the window and his eyes stayed focused on the road. It wasn't until we reached my house that he spoke.
"I keep messing up, don't I?" he sighed. I laughed, nodding.
"Just a little bit," I answered, scrunching my nose in the process.
"Was he pissed?" Elliot sighed.
"He was in the beginning, but we're alright now," I explained. Elliot shook his head at me. "What?"
"Ally, you are as blind as a bat!" he exclaimed. I pouted.
"You really are a terrible date," I teased.
"You really are blind," he retorted. "You love him, don't you?"
I gulped. "It doesn't matter," I whispered, turning to get out of the car, but his hand held me back.
"Why are you so afraid?" he asked. "Why can't you just let yourself love him? Why are you trying so hard to get over him? Why do you-"
"Stop!" I shouted, my eyes brimming. "He has a girlfriend, that's why! I'm just his best friend, and I'm never going to be anything more."
"He's crazy about you," Elliot said softly. I swiped away the tears and looked up at him.
"No he's not," I chuckled sarcastically. "As much as I want to believe that he is, he's not."
"But he is, Ally. Don't you see it? The way he gets angry whenever I'm near you, whenever I touch you. He's crazy about you. He just doesn't know it yet."
I sniffled and shook my head, getting out of the car.
The house was quiet as I stepped inside, taking off my shoes. I carefully walked up the stairs, making sure none of the floorboards squeaked as I crept into my room and slid to the floor. I wanted to cry, I wanted to yell, I wanted to scream.
But doing any of these things would only add onto the exhaustion. I was tired of feeling this way, tired of putting myself down, tired of wondering what my life could be like if I let myself be happy. I couldn't get the image of Austin's face after I'd told him that Elliot wasn't the right guy. His eyes were cloudy for a moment and then he grinned.
Why did he grin?
My hands were trembling as I took out my phone and went to the conversation from a couple days ago.
I'm too busy trying to get over you.
Send.
So sorry if the fair scenes weren't satisfactory! I was really racking my brain trying to think of all the possible ways Austin can get jealous over, and this is what my mind developed. I know I keep leaving you guys hanging, what with all these cliff hangers, so sorry for that too! All in all, I really hope you guys enjoyed this highly awaited chapter! What do you think will happen next? Leave a review with your theories and opinions, and let me know how I'm doing. Or tweet me, now you have that option too! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH, IT'S INSANE.