This one is All Leahelisabeth's Fault...

Tonight, we tackle that difficult question - can Lampito write G.S.N. (Gratuitous Sam Nudity)?

Bobby figured out later that the witch's amulet carried a curse with a time-delay fuse. It wasn't until after they'd ganked her and torched her altar, when they were bickering again and Dean called Sam a 'long-haired happy-clappy, bareass-dancing, flower child hippie' while telling his baby brother he needed a haircut, that the damned thing triggered.

"Why?" demanded Sam, the sunny smile on his face clouding for a moment. "Why should I? Just because you want me to? What if I don't want to look how you want me to? Why should I conform to your norms, your standards? I want to be me! I want to be different!"

To which Dean could only reply, "Sam, shut up and put your pants back on..."

Okay, so it was his own fault that the first derogatory thing he'd said to his brother had resulted in Sam downing trou and singing 'California Dreaming' while dancing around the witch's living room wearing nothing but a smile and a large sunflower behind one ear, but that didn't make it any easier to deal with.

Thankfully, it was the middle of the night, so getting a singing, clapping, dancing and OH GOD NAKED giant into the Impala was done under the cover of darkness, not made any easier by the fact that Dean had to manhandle his brother whilst trying not to actually touch him, because, hello, OH GOD NAKED. Getting him into their motel room wasn't too difficult; it was getting him to stay inside that proved difficult. Apparently, long-haired happy-clappy, bareass-dancing, flower child hippies prefer to do their dancing outdoors. In a state of mortification, he was forced to tackle, manhandle, and otherwise make contact with his OH GOD NAKED brother in ways that would give him nightmares for weeks.

"You cannot go outside like that, Sam," stipulated Dean, averting his eyes, "Which bit of 'You - Are - Buck - NAKED!' do you not understand? You put some clothes on RIGHT NOW!"

"Why are you so uptight?" Sam asked, genuinely puzzled. "You're the one who's always telling me that the human body is a beautiful, natural thing, designed for doing beautiful, natural acts..."

"Sam," growled Dean, "I swear, you shake that at me ONE MORE TIME and I will cut it off..."

Sam just smiled, started to dance and broke into 'Blowin' In The Wind'.

"Sam!" barked Dean, "Get! Dressed! Right! Now!"

With a grin, Sam moved his sunflower from behind his ear to further south. "Ta-dah!"

Dean explained in blunt language that a strategically positioned sunflower did not constitute 'getting dressed'.

It was when Sam eyed him compassionately and announced "Somebody needs a hug," and grabbed Dean in a bear-hug, that Dean started screaming for Castiel.

The angel arrived just as Sam started massaging Dean's shoulders. "Wow, bro, you're really tense, you know, a massage would really help you loosen up, I've got some oil somewhere..."

"CASTIEL!" screeched Dean, his voice hitting a pitch he hadn't managed since he was eight years old.

Flap-flap

"Hello Dean," intoned Castiel, cocking his head and observing the scene before him. "Why does Sam think he is a Cupid?" he asked.

Dean let out a small 'meep' noise - having his personal space invaded by a clueless angel and his OH GOD NAKED brother both at once was burning out circuitry in his brain.

"Curse," he squeaked, "Heeeeeeelp meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Castiel frowned slightly. studying Sam, who smiled back. "Hi, Cas!" he chirped. "Wanna help me give Dean a tantric massage?"

An expression of understanding dawned on the angel's face. "Ah. I can undo this," he announced. He grabbed hold of Sam's arm, stared at him intently, and commanded: "Samuel Winchester, cease this unseemly behaviour at once."

There was a small flash of light, Sam blinked twice, then his face went red, then chalk white, then beet red again. He let go of Dean.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" he shrieked, grabbing a cushion to his nether region and sprinting for the cover of the bathroom.

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. No, seriously, thank you, you were just in the nick of time." Sam continued to yodel in horror in the bathroom. "Er, Cas," asked Dean, "What exactly did you do there?"

Castiel explained: "I gripped him tight, and raised his inhibitions."