Chapter 8:
Potions Master Severus Snape was projecting the full power of his most intimidating scowl at the black cauldron which sat in front of him. If pewter had the capacity to quiver that cauldron's knees would have knocked with a speed the envy of any flamenco dancer's heels. The contents of the cauldron were explosive...as proven by the fact that it exploded reliably every five minutes. There also seemed to be some charms involved, since every time the cauldron blew itself apart it also repaired itself and resumed boiling in preparation for another explosion. Infact the only unknowns were how the wretched thing ever came about...and whether it could ever be stopped. Snape would have assumed the effort to be a Weasly twin prank, except for the fact that the cauldron had come from St Mungo's after their potions experts had failed to achieve anything more useful than causing the explosions to separate by only two minute intervals. The cauldron's contents were supposed to be a home-brewed cough remedy, and perfectly safe...it was a sad fact that the mother had not decided to keep her potions laboratory off-limits to brats. The potion had been sampled by a five year-old girl, who now resided at St Mungo's and exploded every five minutes and had been doing so for over a month now...the janitors were not happy. Snape couldn't care less about the little girl. Snape wasn't even vaguely interested in the infernal girl's idiotic mother who'd decided that OWL level potions gave you the expertise to experiment with potion composition. Snape would happily have ignored the whole mess and have kicked the healer out of his dungeons on the grounds that it was of no interest to him...until he'd actually watched the explosion occur. Potions cauldrons did not automatically rebuild and refill with exactly what they'd had in them prior to the explosion. However, if this freak anomaly could be controlled... Snape's scowl darkened by a further two notches as he began scribbling on a tatty piece of paper. Ahh, what James Potter would have said if he'd ever realised that one of his pranks had made it possible for Severus Snape to guarantee that his potions notes were never endangered, even when he blew a laboratory out of existance and himself into a hospital...which he'd actually achieved twice. Very painful. Snape winced as a fragment of cauldron took him above the right eye. He needed to recast the wards around that little cauldron...but first he was going to see if the composition would balance if he added a measure of Potter's inert goop. If this didn't work he was going to be reduced to waiting until Potter had achieved some miracle with arithmancy. Sinistra swore by the boy as an arithmancer and right now he needed something. Even if all they achieved was making the explosive period six minutes instead of five it would be a godsend, a whole extra minute to meddle with the cauldron's composition before it re-set itself. Snape swore again, even Potter's amazing inert goop had failed to prevent the explosion. Snape recast the wards on the cauldron and settled down to glower at it in hopes that inspiration would strike soon.
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"Bloody Gryffindors!" Draco Malfoy was snarling not so softly to himself as he walked as swiftly as was decently allowed in quest of Potter. He'd almost missed it when they'd neatly abstracted him from the House line. He'd never have got away at all if Zabini and Nott hadn't promised to cover for him
He hadn't been half fast enough getting himself out to go in pursuit, by the time he'd managed to find them again they'd lost Potter and were headed for their commonrooms and trying to decide on an alibi. Draco had simply sworn to himeself, avoided them and stopped to try and think of what to do next.
Now Draco was combing the lower levels of the school in quest of the black-haired boy. His only sense of comfort was that no matter what happened, Potter would not head down into the dungeons because there were many better hiding places in the upper floors when the dungeons had a troll in an unknown location.
"What are you doing here?" The Weasley had applied a few steps of run behind his shove and slammed Malfoy into the wall.
"Looking for Potter." Malfoy carefully stabilised himself against the wall and located his position within the castle...the second floor.
"Why? Want to play with the Troll?"
"On the second floor? Give it up, Weasley, you are not smart." Malfoy shook his head and moved down the hallway as quickly as he dared. Who knew about Weasley and his sense of smell, but Malfoy was smelling far too much smell of something nasty to believe that the wretched troll was still in the dungeon...much as he would have loved to have blamed the stench on Weasley. He had to find Potter and he had to find the boy now!
It was a yelp which let Malfoy know he was on the right path and very near his target. That yelp of Potter's was truly unique...and in any other person would probably have been a scream of agony. Malfoy accelerated to a sprint and tore down the long hallway. He found both Potter and the Troll in the small classroom at the end...and the troll was occupying over half the room. How Potter had avoided being hit seemed to be a miracle unless you remembered just how well he could run and dodge. The boy seemed to be simply bouncing around the troll as opposed to actually ducking or dodging.
"Cool!" Weasley's exclamation caused Malfoy to feel an intense, and very low, desire to bury his fist in the boy's face. The exclamation had distracted Potter, causing him to crash heavily into one wall. Fortunately it had also distracted the troll and Malfoy siezed the chance, diving into the room, grabbing Potter and diving back out just before the troll's club destroyed the wall and doorway...and act which would have killed Potter had he still been in the room.
"Potter?" Malfoy had pulled them into a small side corridor.
"Sorry." Potter's words weren't really needed, Malfoy had already figured that Potter was not going to be any use as a wand since he seemed hard pressed to be conscious at all.
"Any suggestions?"
"Make it lose the club." They both flinched as rock shattered down around them.
"Right." Malfoy frowned.
"Levitate it."
"Wingardium Leviosa." Malfoy blinked, both because the spell worked and because the troll was so stupid that it didn't realise that it had lost it's club. "More ideas, Potter, running and hiding is your specialty not mi..." Malfoy grunted for Potter had suddenly yelped and dropped all his weight awkwardly to one side. The cheer from Weasley reassured Malfoy that Potter's inconsiderate behaviour had not been voluntary. That did not change the fact that they were both now flat on the floor and Malfoy had lost control of the troll's club...which had hit something hard. Weasley yelped again and there was a sickening thunder of shattering stone.
"Sorry." Potter somehow managed to roll aside so Draco could get to his feet again.
"No problem, it seems the troll was under the club when I lost control." Malfoy moved over to kick the troll gently before moving back to pull Potter off the ground.
"That is a relief." Potter had gone an odd shade of white and Malfoy did not consider it encouraging.
"Why did you kick him?" Malfoy turned on Weasley as he settled Potter against his shoulder.
"He was being an irritating, know-it-all prat."
"We were fighting a troll!"
"So what!...and you'd never have listened to me you're that bloody prejudiced." Weasley's response seemed senseless and completely inapplicable to anything, but then it made perfect sense for the next sound was made by Professor McGonagall.
"Language, Mr Weasley...and will someone kindly explain what has happened here?" Her voice made Malfoy exchange a look with Potter before he turned around and discovered that they actually had a three professor audience...and one of that audience guaranteed that no matter what happened, it would not be suspension or instant expulsion. Professor Snape was looking livid, but even that was preferable to his not being present at all.
"I heard Potter and Malfoy plotting to try fighting the troll for themselves. I was coming to look for a staff member when I found them cornered in here and leant a hand."
"Injured, Mr Malfoy?" Snape had clearly not bothered listening to Weasley's response.
"I'm fine sir, apart from a couple bruises. Potter hit the wall pretty hard though and probably should get fixed up soon...he's conscious, but not really functional otherwise."
"Then get him to the hospital wing." Snape turned an ear back to his colleagues as Malfoy shuffled off down the corridor with Potter hanging off his shoulder. Snape sneered as he registered the point adjustments McGonagal was making before he swept around and departed himself, Malfoy was never going to make it to the Hospital Wing with Potter draped over his shoulder unless he got some help from somewhere...and Minerva was quite certain to bring the matter up in the staffroom later tonight.
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Severus Snape had been scowling ferociously for over an hour, his head was pounding, crucio was beginning to seem like a pleasant dream and he was almost willing to hand Potter over to these vultures just to get them off his back.
"They are already set for writing three feet of essay on the stupidity of their actions as soon as Mr Potter is released from the hospital wing. They have a week's worth of personal detentions with me." Snape dug his fingers into his left temple and wished that headache potions worked on stress headaches. "You've deducted a hundred and fifty points from Slytherin for their...injudicious actions. You've also given two hundred points to Gryffindor to commend Mr Weasley's bravery and honorable intentions in defending fellow students from peril whom he doesn't even like. The fact that both Slytherin versions of events disagree with Mr Weasley's account...both of them pensieved memories which have been verified as having been untampered, apparently has no bearing on the case. What else do you want to do? Expel them both? Azkaban? They are two boys who unfortunately were forced into a situation which endangered them and they responded with good sense and speed to avoid damage and preserve their lives." Snape suddenly got to his feet, he couldn't be bothered any more. Let them call him prejudiced and biassed, it was nothing new and at least it would stop his headache now. "I'll be in my Office...otherwise I will thank you to rebalance the points to a rational level and acknowledge that detention for a week is more than enough to make sure they do not meddle next time a troll even considers entering the castle." Snape stalked off and was relieved when he finally got to slam his dungeon door behind himself.
"The Headmaster informs me that my son is in isolation in the Hospital Wing and I may not see him." Lucius Malfoy was sitting in a self-conjured armchair reading a magazine.
"Your information is slightly inaccurate." Snape dropped into his chair and pulled a couple of Hufflepuff Essays forward for marking, they tended to be soothingly mediocre. "Mr Potter is the injured party in isolation, Mr Malfoy simply refused to leave and so has been shut in as well since the isolation wards had to be cast."
"What happened to Mr Potter?"
"A couple of fractured vertabrae after he crashed into a wall while dodging a troll." Snape managed to make his tone dry and was amused to see Malfoy's amusement at his recounting the incident as if it were rather common. "The isolation is safeguard only, as is the nerve regenerator. He does require the skelegrow though and will be out of action for a couple of days."
"Please explain to me how a troll got into the school."
"Quirrel let it in as a distraction so he could attempt a fiendish act without the Headmaster realising."
"This fiendish act would of course have something to do with why the Staff is so paranoid it has no rationality this year."
"Something." Snape gave a shrug and then yawned. "Tea?"
"Thanks." Lucius accepted a steaming mug and gave a sniff. "I visit Azkaban tomorrow...though no one else knows."
"You have my pity." Snape sipped his tea and then sighed. "Black can at least get the boy out of this school...but I will miss his presence in class."
"Why?"
"He has a rare talent for stopping Longbottom's cauldrons from melting or exploding." Snape sighed and then frowned. "He also has an uncanny knack of understanding stuff he shouldn't."
"Howso?"
"Come see." Snape was on his feet and headed for his laboratory, headaches and fatigue forgotten in his excitement over what had been achieved earlier.
"It's a cauldron." Lucius' tone was very damping.
"Funny." Snape fished a bayleaf out of the cauldron, hastily cast some heavy wards before retreating to a discreet distance.
"What..." Lucius got no further before Snape grabbed his arm and dragged him aside. The explosion which rocked the room was rather impressive. "...was that?" Lucius blinked as he saw the cauldron reconstruct itself and begin bubbling again.
"That was some stupid witch's idea of a cough syrup...apparently."
"Does it have the same effect on anyone who consumes it?" Lucius was blinking rapidly.
"Apparently yes, a five year-old has been spreading blood and gore far and wide around St Mungoes for the past month."
"Intriguing." Lucius took a half-step forward before Snape yanked him back as the cauldron exploded again.
"We successfully stopped the explosions, we have not yet managed to denaturise the cauldron." Snape shot across the room to put the bayleaf back in the cauldron along with a container full of pre-prepared ingredients. For a moment the cauldron bubbled ominously, then it gave a thick gulp and became passive.
"What, precisely, have you done to it?"
"At present?" Snape gave a small shrug "Given it the characteristics of hardened tar. In this state it will take approximately a thousand years to reach explosion point again."
"The explosion point?"
"It's a self-stirring cauldron and the charm is interfering with the contents...somehow." Snape gave another shrug. "Potter produced the initial idea, I tried it and it worked so the boy will be serving detention with Sinistra for the next week...and he'll learn how to prove an arithmantic supposition. When they've proven this level we'll be back to work with the cauldron itself, taking advantage of the thousand years until the next explosion to try picking the thing to pieces and denaturising it." Snape returned to his office. "The downside we have discovered is that the explosions are more frequent and more forceful if you do let it resume exploding after slowing it down. We're uncertain as to why at present."
"Out of curiousity..."
"Yes, Lucius, the little girl has stopped exploding. We fed her the slowdown potion which meant that she successfully passed the potion out of her system...she doesn't explode and spread blood and gore any more and yes, her idiotic mother was insanely and obscenely thankful and I left her to Sinistra to deal with."
"What was the cost this time?"
"Two crates of Firewhisky...apparently what she required to repair her nerves after the ordeal."
"Ah." Lucius Malfoy smiled quietly. Most people thought that Snape and Sinistra were friends in a Slytherin-ish fashion. Lucius Malfoy knew far better. Snape and Sinistra were rivals who'd fought for almost twenty years to prove the other wrong on any and every subject. Their actions ranged between polite academic debating, with all the required polite little barbs and underhand insults which were obligatory, to outright betrayal...such as had undoubtedly occured today as Lucius was quite certain that Snape had bailed out on Sinistra with regards to the patient and attached parent. Fair was fair though, Sinistra bailed quite regularly on Severus and when it happened he had his demanded price...and it was the best kept secret of Slytherin because no one knew what the price was. Infact, to Lucius Malfoy's knowledge, it was the only secret of Slytherin that was left which did not involve it's snarky founder and his penchant for chatting to snakes.