Anomen arrived right on schedule, and the whole household greeted him with enthusiasm. Merena noticed immediately that Anomen had taken her suggestion to heart and left his armor at the inn. Very nice. She thought, eying him possessively and admiring the way his tunic fit across his shoulders. At that moment he glanced up and caught her eye, causing her to blush self-consciously.
Kylia, eager to tell him all about her father's visit, began talking before Anomen had even dismounted. He listened attentively, occasionally sending an anxiety-tinged glance in Merena's direction. Finally, after Kylia left with Dougal to make sure Challenger was settled comfortably in his stall, and Arthia had scurried off to the kitchen, Merena and Anomen had enough privacy for a proper greeting.
As soon as the others were out of sight, Anomen captured her hands in his, his eyes searching her face intently. "Kylia certainly seems to have enjoyed her father's visit. I am glad he has finally acknowledged his duty to her."
Merena snorted derisively. "I wouldn't count on that. He left with only vague assurances of another visit."
"I am sorry, Merena." Anomen answered, looking bleak.
"Don't be" Merena said, sliding her hand around the back of his neck. He trembled slightly at her touch. "I was glad that Kylia had a chance to spend time with him, but he's not the one I wanted to see."
Anomen's face brightened immediately. "Glad I am to hear that, my lady." Their eyes met, and Anomen, recognizing the unmistakable invitation in hers, pulled her close for a lingering kiss.
When they parted, Anomen murmured, "By Helm, Merena, how I missed you!"
"I missed you too, Anomen." Merena responded, laying her head against his chest.
"Merena, I…" he began. "There is so much I want to say to you — oh hells!" Anomen exclaimed, as they heard the sound of Kylia's voice, coming nearer by the moment.
Merena couldn't help but smile a little at the look of frustration and outrage on Anomen's face. She kissed him on the cheek and murmured, "Later, dear." With this promise to sustain him, Anomen released Merena just as Kylia and Dougal came into view.
"Anomen, Anomen!" Kylia called. "I have to tell you about the fair! Mommy and I went with High Watcher Emond and Terrel, and we saw the acrobats, and the trick riders and the magicians…"
Anomen laughed. "Slow down, Kylia! I do want you to tell me all about it, but first, I feel I must apologize for not taking you myself. I was most distressed when I received the order to return to Athkatla, and lost my opportunity to escort the two most beautiful ladies in all of Berdusk. But I am glad that you enjoyed yourselves nonetheless."
"Well, High Watcher Emond is really nice, but Terrel's kind of a baby." She wrinkled her nose and whispered conspiratorially, "He ate too many pastries and got sick." At this juncture, Anomen had the misfortune to glance at Merena, who was having just as much trouble keeping a straight face as he was.
Anomen cleared his throat. "Ahh, well, perhaps you can tell me about Terrel's travails — in not too much detail, preferably — at dinner. My lady Kylia, if I may?" He offered his arm to Kylia, who gravely accepted it, and allowed her self to be escorted into the house.
Dinner that evening was a happy affair, with both Merena and Kylia recounting tales of their trip to the fair and all the other happenings since Anomen had last visited. Arthia was even more attentive than usual, and positively beamed whenever she addressed Anomen. After one particularly effusive exchange, where Arthia tried to ply Anomen with a third helping of dessert, Anomen cocked an inquiring eyebrow at Merena, who rolled her eyes expressively in reply.
Although to Merena it seemed like an eternity before she and Anomen were alone again, after dinner Arthia bundled Kylia off to bed with impressive dispatch. Ignoring Kylia's pleas to stay up longer, she said matter-of-factly, "It's late and time for little girls to be in bed. And besides, grownups need some time to themselves." This comment, accompanied by a meaningful glance in Anomen's direction, caused him to start and blush furiously.
Once Arthia was out of earshot, Anomen turned to Merena with an alarmed look on his face. "My lady?"
Merena sighed. "I swear that woman was a master spy before retiring to become my housekeeper. Yes, she knows. I have no idea how she knows, but she's been dropping not-so-subtle hints ever since your last visit. Does it bother you?"
He smiled ruefully. "It doesn't bother me, precisely, though I suppose I would prefer to conduct my, ah…affairs under a little less scrutiny. I take it she does not disapprove?"
Merena snorted. "Disapprove? She couldn't approve of you more if you were her own son! As for approving of us…" She reached over and caught Anomen's hand. "Well, let's just say that she didn't send Kylia off to bed early when Kelsey was here." Merena chuckled. "I think she would have given him bread and water if she wasn't afraid that it would ruin her reputation as a cook."
Anomen swept Merena into his arms. "That would have been a sight worth seeing." He smiled. "Though nothing compared to the sight I have before me now." He laid his forehead against hers. "Merena, I…I cannot tell you how much it means to me that we are finally together like this. It is a dream come true for me."
Merena kissed him lightly on the lips. "I do like the idea of making your dreams come true. Come, let's sit down." She took his hand and led him to the couch where they sat down together.
As soon as they were settled, Anomen took her hand is his and caught her gaze. "Should I tell you how you could make my dreams come true?" Anomen asked. His tone was light, but there was an intensity in his eyes that that made her heart beat faster.
"Oh, I think I can guess some of them." Merena whispered with a smile, and pulled him closer for a kiss.
At first they were both a little hesitant, but before long desire overwhelmed uncertainty and they were locked in each other's arms exchanging increasingly ardent kisses. Merena was surprised by the strength of her response to him. For the past eighteen months she had concentrated on suppressing her feelings for Kelsey, so, she guessed, it was natural that she would desire a man's touch. But she did not long for any man's touch, but this man, who held her, and called her name, and looked at her like she was the most precious thing in all of Faerun. Many times since Kelsey's betrayal she had been convinced that she would never feel this way again, feel so…desired again. Now she could feel the pain of Kelsey's rejection melt in the warmth of Anomen's embrace.
Merena shivered a little at the thought of having a lover again after so long. She pulled herself closer to him, so she could feel his body moving against hers. She called Anomen's name and began caressing him, delighting in the feel of his taut muscles under his tunic. She was so caught up in the moment and her own desires that she was shocked when Anomen snared her hand and said hoarsely, "Merena, wait!"
Once she recovered from her surprise she glanced up at Anomen. He was breathing heavily and had a troubled expression on his face. "Is something wrong, Anomen?"
"No, nothing is wrong, my dear" Anomen said, looking more anxious by the moment, "It's just that…I'm not sure that here and now is the right time for us to be…together like this."
Then Merena understood his concern. Earlier she herself had been worried that this was a less-than-private place for them to be so intimate; after all, it was not unheard of for Kylia to awaken in the night and look for her mother's company. It would not do at all for her to find them like this.
"Oh, you're right, Anomen." Merena said, smiling and touching his cheek. He returned the smile, obviously relieved that she understood. "We need more privacy than this. The spare room will be perfect; the door even has a lock on it."
One glance at Anomen's face told her that this was not what he had had in mind. A look of alarm crossed his face, which he then quickly replaced by the anxious expression that she had seen earlier. "That's not quite what I meant, Merena…" he began.
For Merena, the initial alarmed expression told her all she needed to know. He doesn't want me, she told herself in shock. Her cheeks went crimson and she pulled herself away from Anomen in dismay. Merena felt as if the ground was shifting uncertainly beneath her feet; she had thought that he cared for her, desired her the way she desired him, how could she have been so wrong?
"Well, I'm not going to force myself on you, if that's what you're concerned about." Merena said, unable to meet his eyes. Her first instinct was to flee the room in humiliation; she had offered herself to him and he did not want her. But the more she thought about the situation, the angrier she became.
"Merena, please, let me explain…" Anomen said beseechingly.
"Yes, please do explain." Merena replied. She looked up at him again, trying desperately to hold back her tears. "I am particularly interested in hearing why you have been acting as you have been, pretending to care about me, when you don't want to be with me."
"Pretending?" Anomen's voice was anguished. "Merena, I have not been pretending! I care for you, more than I can say. I…I love you."
His final words, which would have meant so much to her a short while earlier, now seemed to be a hollow echo of Kelsey's mockery.
"How do I know that?" She retorted hotly. "Why should I believe you care about me? Maybe Kelsey is right; you don't love me at all, and are just courting me to get back at him — and to hurt me for rejecting you!"
Merena knew she had made a terrible mistake as soon as the words left her mouth. I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually go white with rage before, she thought as she watched Anomen's face with a sinking heart.
All color, all life had drained from Anomen's face. But the fury in his blazing eyes and voice were unmistakable. "You discussed me with Kelsey? You discussed us with Kelsey?"
Her anger, which had seemed so justified a moment before, melted under his furious gaze. The tables had turned; appalled that Anomen thought she had betrayed his trust, she struggled to explain herself. "It wasn't like that, Anomen! He found out from Kylia that you had been visiting and asked about it. I didn't tell him anything about us!"
This didn't mollify Anomen in the least. "Even so, you chose to trust his word over mine. You chose to believe what a lying, faithless, cur like Kelsey has said about me, and question my motives, despite the fact that I have always striven to be a true and loyal friend to you…" The rigid control of his emotions finally broke, and his voice shook with pain.
He stood up abruptly. "I am sorry, Merena, I am afraid this visit was a mistake. I must go." Anomen began walking stiffly out of the room toward the front door.
"Go? Go where?" Merena asked in confusion, trailing along in his wake.
"Back to Athkatla, of course, after I stop at the inn to collect my gear." By this time, Anomen was out the door and crossing the yard toward the stable.
"Anomen, you can't just leave like this!" She caught his arm to restrain him, and said, "Why won't you talk to me?"
He gently disengaged her hand and looked at her sadly. "At this moment, I am not in a fit state of mind to talk to anyone. Especially not you."
In a surprisingly short time, Anomen was back with Challenger saddled. While he was gone, some of Merena's frustration had turned to anger. She was at a loss to understand how a day that had begun so wonderfully had gone so horribly wrong. "I can't believe you're just leaving like this, you, you…stubborn, arrogant, pig-headed oaf!"
"All the more reason you should not wish my company." Anomen said calmly enough, though his eyes were haunted. He mounted. "Please convey my regrets to Kylia. You know how to reach me, should you wish to." The tone of his voice said clearly that he thought that unlikely.
As she watched him ride away, she was torn between a desire to run after him and beg him to stay, and to find a suitably sized rock to hurl at his head. Instead, after he disappeared into the night, she went to her room, curled up in bed, and cried herself to sleep.Arthia knew immediately that something was dreadfully wrong the next day. Merena was silent and red-eyed and offered only a very vague explanation for Anomen's unexpected departure. Not surprisingly, Kylia was confused and upset; after all, this was the second time Anomen had disappeared suddenly without saying goodbye to her. Fortunately, unlike Arthia, she did not understand how different this time was from the last.
Arthia herself found the situation to be profoundly demoralizing. She had been so pleased that such a lovely gentleman had come back into Miss Merena's life after her scoundrel of a husband had shown his true colors. Why, she had never seen two people more perfect for one another than Sir Anomen and Merena, and now this! She felt something must be done quickly to salvage the situation, but knew it was not her place to press Merena for details of what had happened.
However, she also knew that Merena's good friend Jaheira was due soon for one of her occasional visits, which gave her cause for optimism. Jaheira might spend a little too much time thinking about nature and 'the balance', but Arthia admired her as a resolute and forthright woman, and one who was unlikely to put up with such woolly-headed and contrary behavior from two young people in love. Miss Jaheira could put things right, she was sure of it.