Killian didn't know how much time had passed since he had stalked out of the Charming's apartment. Judging by the long shadow he was casting, it had been hours. But it wasn't long enough to process the strange and horrible new twist in his life or to take away his own self-loathing. He had yelled at her, and it didn't matter that he had thought no sound would come from his mouth; Emma was still just a child, a child who had no idea of the consequences of her magic use. It was those consequences that he couldn't get out of his head as he aimlessly walked through the town, alongside the very real possibility that Emma and Elsa might remain children; that he had, once again, lost the person he loved most in the world.
This was somehow worse. One day, twenty odd years from now, she would look and maybe even talk just like the woman he loved. But she wouldn't be the same woman.
Everything felt off. The ground was too solid beneath his feet. The street lights beginning to blink on were too harsh and artificial. The sound of the cars and what passed for music in this realm were too loud. Even the feel of his clothes was all wrong. Where he should feel smooth leather, he felt coarse fibers instead. He watched people cross the street, the look in their eyes when they noticed him heading their way, and he knew that they still considered him a villain. Without Emma, he didn't really belong in Storybrooke. Like a patch on a once perfect sail, he stood out and apart.
Eventually, the sun sank and he found himself in front of Granny's, staring at the fairy lights twinkling over the outdoor seating. The whole area was heavy with memories. This was the place he had first kissed Emma in this realm, the place she had admitted her fear of losing him. It had never even occurred to her that she might be the one to be lost. With a heavy sigh, he headed around to the inn's entrance and trudged up to his room, the weight of the last few days pressing in upon him.
He didn't really sleep for hours, and when he did, his mind conjured Emma in such perfect detail that he didn't want to wake. He arose with the sun and dressed quickly. He ignored his modern clothes and slipped into the leather pants and rough spun shirt he had worn for hundreds of years. Sliding on his long coat felt like coming home, and he realized exactly where he needed to go.
The docks were quiet, most fishing boats already out for the day. But just the proximity to the water, the bite of the wind and the salt in the air, lifted his spirits. Killian headed straight for Leroy's small boat, knowing the dwarf was halfway through his morning coffee at Granny's and was unlikely to miss the vessel until that evening. He jumped on the boat and began to prepare to sail. The craft wasn't enchanted like the Jolly; but it was small and easily piloted by one person.
"Where are you going?" Killian startled and turned back to see Henry standing on the dock, regarding him curiously.
"Sailing." Killian gestured vaguely out to the water.
"Can I come?"
Killian narrowed his eyes at the boy. Noticing the slight puffiness around his eyes and the grim set of his mouth, Killian wondered at his presence at the dock so early and if it was driven by the same thing plaguing him.
Killian's eyes softened. "Aye, lad. Grab the mooring line."
Henry smiled, a slight, sad thing, and untied the boat from the dock before jumping onboard.
They didn't speak as the ship made its way out into the harbor. Killian gave occasional instructions and Henry silently followed them. The boy was a natural, like his father, and would have made a fine sailor. When Henry stumbled over a bit of line on the deck (the dwarf kept abominable care of his ship), Killian reached out an arm to steady him.
"You should be wearing your lifejacket. Your mother would kill me if she knew you were going without."
Henry blanched. "Yeah, well…since she doesn't even know I'm her son, I think you're safe."
And just like that, the relative and short peace brought on by the sea and the business of sailing was shattered.
Killian let out a sigh. He hadn't words of comfort to offer the lad. They lapsed back into silence, each lost to their own thoughts.
"Were you leaving?"
"What?"
"Were you leaving Storybrooke?" Killian looked at him with raised eyebrows, wondering what path the boy's thoughts had taken to reach that conclusion.
"No, lad. I just wanted to be on the water, feel the rock of a boat and the salt of the sea."
"Will you leave? If they can't fix my mom?"
Killian paused before answering. It was a question he had struggled with for most of the night. With Emma gone, he didn't know what place he had in the town, if he had a place at all, or if he even wanted a place without Emma beside him. Looking at Henry, he realized that there might be somewhere he was needed. The boy was a true combination of his parents, and Killian knew, in that moment, that he would stay; for Bae, for Emma, and for Henry.
With a shake of his head, Killian replied, "No. I will stay. No matter what happens to Emma, I will stay in Storybrooke."
"Good." Henry nodded and turned his head toward the town. The line of the docks and the clock tower reflected the rising sun and he squinted slightly. "They don't want to tell her."
Killian furrowed his brow, not fully understanding. "They?"
Henry turned back and began to explain "My mom, grandma, grandpa, the Blue Fairy. They don't want to tell Emma about the spell. The Blue Fairy said that only Emma can reverse it, but only if they tell her what happened so she can choose to grow up. They think her power is already too weak. They're afraid that if they tell her, they would only upset her and ruin her childhood."
Killian gritted his teeth. He wasn't surprised by their decision; he had expected it. He knew it wasn't his decision to make, but that didn't mean he had to agree with it.
"It's not fair. They aren't even going to try." Henry slammed his hand angrily on the railing. Killian placed his hand on the boys shoulder and heaved a sigh. He agreed with him, but he also knew the importance of closing ranks once an order had been issued. Feeding Henry's anger would only encourage mutiny and drive a wedge between him and the only family he had left.
"I am sure your grandparents are doing what they think is best."
Henry twisted his shoulder out of Killian's grasp and looked at him accusingly. "It's not what's best. It's what's easy. Mom wouldn't want to leave me, she wouldn't want us to give up on her. I thought you of all people would understand!" Henry stalked across the deck, the very image of his father in his anger.
Killian fixed his eyes on the horizon as he contemplated his next step. The boy was right; Emma wouldn't want him to give up. With another sigh, Killian walked to the helm and brought the ship about, pointing it back toward Storybrooke.
"What are you doing?"
Killian managed to muster up a cocky smile. "There are some royals in need of a speech about hope, and I think I should be the one to give it."
Henry beamed back at him as the ocean breeze ruffled his hair.
Killian had been on the receiving end of enough hope speeches to know that the key was not in the words used but in the conviction of the speaker. While he wasn't convinced that Emma could reverse the spell, he knew in his bones that they needed to try. He knocked on the door to the apartment, his courage and conviction firmly in place.
Snow answered, baby Neal in her arms. "Killian! Come in. The girls are still asleep."
He nodded at the princess as she stepped back to let him in. Unlike the previous morning, the kitchen was empty and quiet. Still ashamed over the last afternoon, Killian was relieved that he wouldn't have to deal with the girls just yet.
"That's fine. I came to speak with you and the prince."
Snow arched her delicate eyebrows. "Oh. David isn't here. He went to meet Anna and Kristoff. To break the news about Elsa."
"Ah." Killian licked his lips unsure on how to proceed.
Snow tipped her head. "What is it?"
"Well, milady. I talked with Henry this morning, and he informed me that you and David had decided to not tell Emma the truth. And I know that it isn't my place, but I think it is the wrong decision."
"Hook-"
Killian held up his hand and she quieted. "Yes, you and the Prince get the chance to raise your daughter. But Henry will lose his Mother. And if there is one thing I know about Emma, it's that the most important thing to her is Henry's happiness."
"Killian, we.." she started, but he barreled on, intent on finishing what he had come to say.
"Emma and Elsa aren't children; they are full grown women magically trapped in children's bodies. If they can't escape, if they grow up again, they will be completely different people. To leave them as they are is the same as leaving them to die. And you can't let that happen without at least trying to save them."
"Are you done?"
Killian gave a curt nod and Snow smiled.
"Good. Then I can finally tell you that David and I talked it over last night and decided to tell Emma. You're right, it's not fair to Henry, and if Emma was here she would want us to try."
Tension leaked out of Killian's body at her words and he found himself blinking rapidly.
"Oh."
Snow let a light chuckle escape.
"When?"
"This morning. That's why he went to Anna and Kristoff."
Killian nodded. "Well. I will leave you to it."
"No, you should stay. The girls will be happy to see you. They were pretty upset after you left yesterday. Getting them to sleep was a nightmare."
He felt his neck grow hot and awkwardly scratched at his beard. "Yes, I apologize, it was not my place…"
"It's fine. You were under a lot of stress. Besides, it kept Emma from doing magic for the rest of the day. Which, under the circumstances, is a very good thing."
"Still, it was bad form and I could have handled it better."
Snow nodded and shifted Neal in her arms. "Apology accepted. Now. Take him. I need to get breakfast started and every time I put him down he cries."
Before he had a chance to protest, Snow had shoved the young prince into his arms. He held him while Snow busied herself in the kitchen and found it strange how much easier it was that yesterday. Only a few minutes passed before Emma and Elsa appeared at the top of the stairs, sleepy eyed and yawning. He smiled in greeting and they ran down and wrapped their arms around his legs amidst shouts of "Killian!" and "You're back!"
He felt a slight pang as he looked down at their golden heads. He felt a lightness and joy around them that he hadn't thought possible, especially given the circumstances. If Emma could reverse the spell he knew he would miss their carefree smiles and high pitched giggles, their hugs and playfulness. But it was a sacrifice he was happy to make.
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Author's Note: A big thanks to Vena Grey for being my beta on this chapter! I am sure you all noticed the vast improvement in tenses and grammar! Hope you enjoyed the Captain Cobra and Snook! The girls are back next chapter. As always I adore all your reviews, follows and favorites. They give me life and keep this fic going! Speaking of...my goal is to finish this up before the hiatus ends.