Author Note: Back from the dead. And yes, it was a long death, let me tell you. This story like my others will be undergoing MAJOR construction. Now that I've got a lot more years of experience under my belt, I'm able to go back and re-edit many things that I believe desperately need attention. I left a brief explanation of my absence on my profile. But in a nutshell, I've been focusing on my major. Now I finally have extra time to spare to come back to this fun hobby of mine. Sorry to keep you waiting. Sorry about the errors that appear, I'm still trying to get to the new layout. This isn't as impressive as I wanted, since this chapter has been written a while back. I will return to make it better.
SHU
The endless chattering of officers surrounding Jiang Wei did little to soothe the anxiety that he felt building within his chest. Obnoxious voices and laughter came too close for comfort, Jiang Wei feeling the warm yet foul breath of the men they belonged to. What's more, he had found himself at the very center.
Despite how politely he had refused the Prime Minister's invitation, tonight his master had iced the words into a command he could not protest to. The heated feeling never left him when he had first walked through the stone arch and into the Dining Hall of his Shu comrades. He remembered the silence, the surprised eyes that went immediately cold once recognizing him.
All but one.
Emperor Lui Bei of Shu rose amidst the intense silence that befell over even those of the lowest ranks. The servant standing in the shadows helped him with his chair which foretold his imperial stature. The emperor moved along with the normal grace of a simple man, greatly startling Jiang Wei. He had assumed him only for another officer among those who seated themselves like high judges behind the long table, and he as their convicted man.
Hearing the light footsteps walking around the end of the table, Jiang Wei couldn't help but stare at the Shu emperor approaching them. The softened features that spoke kindness greatly opposed the demanding and strict severity of the Wei emperor's. Privileged to only see Lord Cao Cao once, he recalled the fear he felt when standing in his very presence, unlike the security now.
Liu Bei's pleasant smile, however, looked strained even though his brown eyes conveyed the genuine warmth meant.
"My lord," Zhuge Liang bowed respectfully, the silken white robes shifting softly as they grazed the stone floor, "Allow me to introduce to you my newly taken apprentice, Jiang Wei of Tian Shui.
The clasp that Zhuge Liang kept on Jiang Wei's wrist, primarily to keep him from shying away, ushered the timid boy forward. Directing his gaze immediately to the floor, Jiang Wei repeated the same low bow. "An honor milord. I have heard nothing but praise from Master Liang of your unparalleled virtue and sincerity."
A grunt came from the far end of the royal dining table although poor to conceal the bitterness in the tone. Whispers rose dramatically from the soldiers behind him, a slight dizziness coming to Jiang Wei as he caught one of the officers murmur. "Obviously," the slurred words came thick with intoxication, "he was probably trained to put a blade through his neck as well." Surrounding Shu officers bowed their heads, stifling the laughter that rose in their throats.
Jiang Wei didn't need to look to see who the words belonged to.
Liu Bei beamed at the honoring words Jiang Wei had spoken, seemingly flattered as a faint blush rose to his cheeks. AI'm pleased to know your master thinks so highly of me. Giving a nod in Zhuge Liang's direction before continuing, "And I'm also very delighted to have the privilege of finally meeting you. Your master has done nothing but rave of you."
Jiang Wei caught the bafflement that Liu Bei quickly blinked away as he cleared his throat, his voice lowering considerably as he addressed Zhuge Liang, "He's so very young, I never knew."
Clearly amused by the observation, Zhuge Liang allowed a faint smile to grace his features, "As was I when he first came to me. But do not underestimate the boy, Jiang Wei has a brilliant mind, one that promises survival to our kingdom in the future."
Again that queasiness, he shifted uncomfortably in place, feeling his master's grip around his wrist tighten harshly who had sensed his withdrawal. Liu Bei merely looked on, oblivious to the tension occurring between them. "I'm happy to hear...I hope Shu will be as good a home to you Jiang Wei. We're very grateful to have you with us."
At this, Jiang Wei raised his eyes directly at him, unable to convey the deepened hatred he felt brewing at the sentence. Though feigning a smile, he struggled to keep the anger from edging his soft words, "I am most certain it will," he chose carefully, "I am..truly blessed to be here."
Both his master and lord seemed greatly satisfied, Jiang Wei looking away to conceal an expression that would indicate otherwise. Placing a gentle hand on Jiang Wei's shoulder, Zhuge Liang gave a curt bow. Jiang Wei's heart beat again as he felt himself moving away.
Relieved to hear the noises of the hall returning to normal volume, Jiang Wei allowed a shaky sigh to release as he felt his dizziness subside.
"You meet your lord's eyes directly when in his presence Jiang Wei," he heard his master's stern reprimand in his right ear, "never dishonor him by looking away."
A protest burned on his lips, but Jiang Wei kept them cleverly shut, having learned enough times during his youth of the consequences that came afterwards. Those memories he did well to keep shrouded, secluded in the far back of his mind. Yet remembering of the cruel punishment he received at the hands of his former master, found him yearning for them again. The long months here had risen his desperation for the need to hear Master Yi's voice, even if in admonishment. Just so long as he was able to listen again.
"Forgive me master," the last word came out delicately, Wei leaving out the contempt intended for it, "I should've not dishonored you by doing so, for that I am sorry."
"Excused," Zhuge Liang dismissed just as quickly, "but I expect better from you in the near future."
They approached two vacant seats at the end of the royal table, Zhuge Liang seating himself as Jiang Wei took the one next to him, eager to take the neutral position that blended him in with the crowd. He made sure to ignore the icy glances given to him by the officers to his right, their eyes speaking clearly of their disapproval for him sitting with them as an equal-as well as everyone in the room for that matter.
Instead, he distracted his gaze to the table, noticing the steaming plates of rice and other palatable cuisines. As expected, the fine dishes had been arranged with the main courses at the center, nearest to the emperor's reach. The polished surface of wood he noticed as the only fine piece of furniture in the colossal hall, obvious for the highest-ranking officers, the others as rough wooden tables and benches for their men. Tapestries of beautiful crafted design hung proudly on each of the walls, showing off the mastery of it's creator. The standing torches gave off a mellow lighting that set the warm ambiance, creating a more pleasurable atmosphere to dine.
While hungry when he had left from his room, Jiang Wei's appetite had long since disappeared once entering into a room crowded with those who apparently wished for the end of his existence. However, quick to see that an empty plate only caused more repulsive looks towards his direction, he filled his plate with a small helping of rice and stir-fried vegetables.
He watched on as everyone ate, ravishing each bite that the wooden chopsticks allowed. A churning in his stomach mixed with nausea caused the food to look all the more distasteful but he reluctantly brought a small bite to his lips. Chewing more than needed allowed him to keep from scarfing the rice down like he saw many men do, while also giving the illusion that he was eating.
"Jiang Wei you're not eating." Zhuge Liang bluntly made the observance.
At this, Jiang Wei took a larger bite from the vegetables, immediately regretting the act when he felt his stomach groaning. Unconscious to his expression that clearly revealed his inner distress, the sudden unfriendly voice startled him. "Enjoying your meal I presume?"
His body stiffened, his throat tightening as he attempted to swallow though unable to. Looking past his master he saw the expectant eyes of Zhao Yun sitting a few seats away, along with the rest of the Five General Tigers who had stopped in their meal to turn at him.
"Or does it not meet your high standards?" Jeered the powerful voice as the bearded face of Zhang Fei leaned out to meet him. Finally managing to swallow, Jiang Wei forced a smile to his lips when he saw Zhuge Liang watch him curiously, awaiting for him to respond.
"No it's not that," struggling to keep his voice indifferent though he much rather wanted to spit a mouthful in their mocking stares of sincerity, "I'm just not use to this type of indulgence."
His smile grew at the dissatisfaction that appeared on their faces, seeing it clear that he would not respond to their taunts.
"I'm not surprised to hear it," Fei pressed on with drunken repose, carrying on like that of an attentive storyteller. "From what I heard, the Wei soldiers eat nothing but garbage that tastes worse than dog food." He nodded his head in affirmation at the cocked eyebrows received by the surrounding generals, "Yes it's true! I heard because their suffering from crop shortages that their taking to eating the very dirt and grass they walk upon. Starvation is what's happening. Sometimes if their desperate, I heard they will go as far as eating their own soldiers that fall." He took another large swig of wine, wiping the red juice from his lips with the back of a strong hand, "But what do I know right?" He chuckled heartedly as he nudged Yun with his elbow, "Why don't we ask the kid?"
"Yes, Huang Zhong's voice bearing false interest, seeming to pick up the hint. "Tell us, what barbarities do those savages do? Is it true that they rape the women they capture before slitting their throats and leaving their bodies out to decay?"
"I heard they slaughter whoever disagrees with that tyrant of an emperor, women and children alike." Zhang Fei added with clear glee, watching Jiang Wei's hand clenching into a trembling fist. The thought of responding by telling them what tales he had heard of Shu seemed the most logical, and knowing of their intention to try to anger him, came all the more tempting. Yet in the presence of his master and lord, he dared not risk the generals' wrath, especially since his voice would stand alone against those in the room.
Ma Chao set his glass down, the hate thick in his firm declaration, "They are murderous bastards, ruthless and cold-hearted who would not hesitate in killing even children for their own personal gain. There is nothing else that is needed to be said."
Guan Yu nodded as he spoke with equal conviction, "They must be destroyed. It is what's best for China and it's people. Too long has their villainy spread it's chaos over the land. Peace must be restored."
"And that dream is almost realized my friends," Zhao Yun's optimism lightening the mood, "Already we've managed to invade and occupy Tian Shui, a region far into their territory."
"Not that we have much to show for it." Zhang Fei snorted. The roaring laughter broke from each of them as a few leaned forward to slap Fei on the back, raising their glasses.
Jiang Wei remained still, controlling the rise and fall of his chest as his heart hammered furiously against his breast. He welcomed the hatred gathering within, strengthening his heart's devotion to Wei, fueling the resolve of the Wei officer to kill his enemy. He despised himself for weakness, allowing the generals' words to stab at his heart, tearing apart his spirit, not accepting him.
Gratefully he allowed himself to drown in the memories that came rushing back, watching himself privileged to eat quiet meals with his master during their long hours of studying. Remembering Xiahou Yuan and Xiahou Dun stealing him away for their usual nightly outings to the local village, without Master Yi's knowledge. Friendship, love, a time when he never felt out of place, or alone.
"Are you alright, Jiang Wei?"
The concern gaze of his master came into view as he turned his head over to meet him. Suddenly guilt consuming his heart for ever feeling such hatred, especially towards one whom he held such reverence to. A face of a man who gave him the second chance to live, his only inspiration that tied him to the world of the living.
"No." He whispered simply, "Everything's fine."
The calculating eyes never left him, reading through the false assertion that Liang clearly saw his apprentice using as an outer shell of protection. Yet before he had a chance to intervene Jiang Wei's thoughts, he heard the beckoning voice of Liu Bei.
"I must leave you, I shall return shortly Jiang Wei." Frowning when he noticed the gaze he received from his student, abruptly stopping him as he rose. "My lord is calling me."
Jiang Wei only nodded weakly, the words unleashing a fear he had struggled to keep under control.
And now he sat here, hearing but not listening to the pointless conversation around him. The voices exchanging echoed the long years of companionship and earned trust. A close and informal bound that Jiang Wei knew of only when he had been back home, back in Wei.
Slowly, he allowed himself to become detached from the present, dwelling only in the peaceful memories of his once happiness. The method was one he had learned from veteran officers who underwent severe interrogation from the enemy. Doing this allowed the human spirit and will to survive unharmed, while the body suffered from brutal tortures.
A tactic of escape, he found himself using often, perhaps too fondly.
The voices faded, the surroundings disappeared, and the loneliness dissipated. Life around him went by, ignoring him casually with a cruel disregard, but he no longer cared. He had encased himself inside his own world, where no one could enter or reach him. And there he waited, until he deemed it safe to come out again.
Jiang Wei had become so engrossed in his thoughts that he never heard the five chairs scrape against the floor as their occupants left. The powerful footsteps coming towards him somehow awakened him, alarming him as their intimidating aura made him stiffen.
"What are ya doing sitting here all alone?"
Jiang Wei grimaced as he smelled the reeking breath of alcohol, but kept silent.
"Hasn't anyone told you that it's rude to not answer an officer when addressing you?" Zhong chided, his slightly trembling elderly voice only bringing the taunt to full affect.
"Give him some time," Chao added bitterly, "He came from Wei, a place where people aren't accustomed to manners or any nobility at that."
Jiang Wei's grip on the edge of the table tightened as he tried controlling the urge to lash out no longer with words but fists. Despite how his blood boiled, he maintained power over his emotions, holding to the strength of the Wei warrior inside him.
"But you're in Shu now," the closeness of Fei's low voice sending a chill down Jiang Wei's spine, "And unlike your pathetic Wei Kingdom, we won't be as forgiving to your usual customs."
"Best forgot them and accept the Shu way of things." Came Guan Yu's voice.
"We wouldn't want to see you end up in a dispute of some sort with another Shu general." Jiang Wei catching the grin before it disappeared beneath the grim expression on the clansman's face.
"Have I not already sworn my allegiance to Shu?" Jiang Wei finally able to find his voice, assuming a reserved tone, "Is that not enough to satisfy you?" His words shot out as poison intended for all of them, their severity emphasized by his darkening eyes.
A cold hand landed fiercely on his shoulder, turning him in his chair as he met the beastly man's fiery gaze, AListen to me you little brat, Fei growled dangerously, face coming close, AI don't know who you think you are and I don't care what Zhuge Liang thinks of ya. By my book, your not even good enough to eat in the same room as our lord. I'd wipe dirt over your face if I didn't think you'd taint it with that Wei influence of yours. Recoiling only made the grip on him tighten, light chuckling coming from the others.
"But I'm warning you. If you screw up, step outta line just once, or look suspicious in anyway, I will personally slit your throat and leave your body where the buzzards will get you."
"Is that a threat general?" Jiang Wei asked cooly, anger seething out from his gritted teeth.
"Enough brother," Guan Yu warned as he placed a firm hand on Zhang Fei's, "You forget yourself, and exactly who this boy is."
"Naah, it's clear who he is," Fei standing up from his leaned position, "That Sima Yi's written all over him, I can see it in his eyes. He's planning to kill everyone one of us, poison our drinks when we least suspect it." He sneered, "I don't even know why the Prime Minister bothered with you. If you ask me, he's wasting his time."
At this Jiang Wei stood immediately from his seat, a few of the generals blinked in surprise at the sudden reaction. Zhang Fei's grin only twisted in dark amusement, "What? You wanna fight me?! Go on then." Coaxing him on like a small child.
He had the vulgar words of absolute hate already formed in their powerful sentences, racing through his mind. How to use them into inflict the most pain and anger, whom each was for, fueled by his intellect that gave him knowledge on how to use them in ways that would make their faces pale.
But they had clogged in his throat, as useless to him as the mask that left him vulnerable, faltering to reveal the extreme hurt that lay evident in his eyes. His true self remained a spectator, watching on with disgust at his weakness that clearly showed. Unable to speak, Jiang Wei simply walked away, shoving hard past the bodies that stood intentionally in his way. Their muffled chuckling rang throughout his ears as he walked down the aisle of tables where the faces looked up to watch.