So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light

'Cause oh that gave me such a fright

But I will hold as long as you like

Just promise me we'll be alright

Ghosts That We Knew by Mumford and Sons

Adam dreaded what he was about to do it, in all of his years on the job he had never called out of work. He had always pushed through an illness or an injury, it was what was expected of the members of the intelligence unit, each member of the team played a vital role in solving each case. For Adam it was more than that, he was the lone member of the unit who hadn't paid his dues on patrol. He had been plucked from the academy and dropped in intelligence and because of that, he felt like he was held to a different standard.

He couldn't afford to take a 'sick day', he needed to show he belonged in intelligence, and one way to do that was busting his ass day in and day, regardless of how he felt.

This wasn't about him though, this was about his kid.

Sebastian had been struggling a bit since before Kim left, it had been all downhill since then. Adam wasn't sure if it was because Kim was gone or if he was actually sick. Adam was at a loss he had tried to check to see if he had a fever, he'd seen Kim do it before but he was scared shitless to use the rectal thermometer. He opted to feel his forehead but it didn't feel feverish to him.

He wasn't eating and he seemed to want to sleep all the time and if he wasn't sleeping he was agitated and fussier than he had ever been.

Adam hoped it would go straight to voicemail.

"Voight."

Adam sighed when heard the gravely voice, "Hey Boss. It's Ruzek."

Voight turned away from the computer, "What's up?"

"I need to take a personal day."

"We've got a case, Adam." Voight grumbled, "I can't be a man down."

"I know and I hate it, Boss. It's Sebby he's sick or something. I need to take him to the doctor." his voice was loft as he leaned on the railing of the crib, thankful that for now Sebastian was sleeping peacefully. He knew he needed to tell his boss everything but he just couldn't do it, at least it wasn't a complete lie, "Listen Kim's out of town, I'm sorry I really am but my baby comes first."

Voight sighed, "Adam. It's fine. Take the day, let me know how the kid is feeling. Let us know if you need anything."

"Will do. Thanks boss."

He carefully closed the door as he exited Sebastian's room, he grabbed the monitor from the living room and headed for the guest bathroom for a quick shower. He avoided the master bathroom and his bedroom like the plague, seeing Kim's hair products or her clothes made his stomach turn.

The drive to the hospital wasn't long but it was complicated and unfamiliar , Kim had gone over the map at least a dozen times. She had finally found the courage to attend a meeting, she knew Med had a support group but she couldn't go to Med.

They knew her at Med.

She wanted anonymity, this hospital would give her that. She was staying about three hours west of Chicago, and the hospital was another forty five minutes away. She had called ahead to make sure she had the right information and to confirm that there was in fact a meeting today. As soon as she had confirmation that a meeting was happening she felt her nerves settle just a bit, she didn't know what she would've done if there wasn't a meeting. She feared her courage would be fleeting, thankfully she didn't have to find out.

She was taking the first step in getting help.

He was frustrated, Sebastian's doctor didn't have an appointment available for a few days and Adam wasn't thrilled with waiting. They suggested an urgent care center or the emergency room.

The emergency room felt like overkill, it wasn't an emergency and Adam had no desire to sit for hours on end and surrounded by god knows what, the last thing he needed was Sebastian being exposed to something worse than what was currently going on with him.

So he was off to urgent care.

Kim found a spot towards the back of the room, she was relieved to have gotten there early, she was among the first to arrive. There were only two other women in the room, they were busy setting up a table of pastries and a coffee maker.

She pegged them as the facilitators of the group which had her a bit uneasy, she was a new face and feared they'd approach her. She wasn't quite ready for that, she had hoped to just pop in and listen.

She was desperate to know she wasn't alone. Her rational mind knew she wasn't alone, she'd read the statistics none of that mattered though, she had never felt so alone in her life.

Adam watched as the doctor examined Sebastian, "Is he okay?" Adam asked, he felt as if his heart had stopped, that it would only beat again when the doctor gave Sebastian the all clear.

The doctor ran her hand softly over Sebastian's head, "He's alright daddy, you can breathe." She smiled, "I think little man is just a bit under the weather, there are a few bugs going around at the moment, he's probably picked one up."

"Can you give him something?"

"It's viral. You can give him some infant Tylenol if you feel he's in some discomfort. Keep offering the bottle and he will eat when he's up to it. If you don't see an improvement in the next day or two bring him back and we will have another look. Right now I think it's something that just needs to run its course."

"Whew.." Adam finally exhaled, "Thank you. Thank you so much." He scooped him up off the examination table and held him close, "How long until he is feeling better?" He hated seeing him so miserable.

"These things usually last about forty eight hours or so, but he's a little guy so it could take him a bit longer to recover." She patted Adam's shoulder, "I know it's hard seeing your baby so uncomfortable, unfortunately it doesn't get any easier dad." She offered a smile and was out the door in the blink of an eye.

Kim kept her head down hoping those around her would stay away, she heard the rumblings of several conversations begin to build as more women entered the room. She was a bit surprised by how many women were in attendance, she was starting to wonder if there would be enough space. The women keep filing in, it was an assortment of women.

Women from all walks of life.

Before she knew it she had women sitting beside her, including one of the women who had been setting up when she first arrived, she offered a meek smile.

"Hello" Her voice was soft and comforting, "I saw you come in while we were preparing the room, you're a fist timer aren't you?"

"That obvious huh?" Kim shrugged.

"I know faces, your face is a new one." She reached over to pat her leg, "Welcome. I know this is probably the last place you want to be and I'm sure you never envisioned yourself needing such a group."

Kim laughed nervously, "Understatement of the century."

"We've all been where you are. Every woman in the room has, myself included. I would love for you to introduce yourself to the group but I know that's always the hardest part of all of this, aside from showing up. I'm so glad you're here. You're not alone, my name is Cheryl. I started this group about fifteen years ago, once I recovered from my own bout of postpartum. It's a great group of women."

"I'm Kim." She liked Cheryl already, "I'm not sure I'm ready to talk, I think I'd just like to listen for a bit. If that's okay."

"Of course. There's no pressure. You can just listen. No one will think different of you if you're not up to sharing yet. Just know this is a safe place, that you can feel whatever you're feeling, you can say whatever you need to say without judgment. No one in this room will judge you."

"Thank you." Kim choked back a sob, "you've got no idea how much that means to me." Her eyes glistened and she struggled to hold it together.

"You're welcome. I need to get things started but I just wanted to say hi first. Grab something to eat and relax, we've just got a few notes to go over and then we will get to it. I'm really glad you're here Kim."

"Me too." Kim couldn't bring herself to get something to eat, her stomach was already a mess the last thing it needed was sugary foods.

Bob handed bottle of water, "So my grandson is okay?" He had been relieved when Adam stopped by after Sebastian's visit with the doctor.

"Yeah. I guess. They said it's just a virus, it should clear out in few days" Adam explained as he picked at the label on the bottle.

"What about my son, is he okay?" Bob already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it right from the horse's mouth.

"I'm fine."

"Adam. Son, talk to me. What's going on?"

Adam looked skyward before answering, "A lot. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this, Pops. I don't even know what's going on. Not really."

Bob threw his arm around Adam, "Kim left didn't she?"

"She did." Adam's shoulders sagged, "I don't know where she is. I don't know if she's okay. She's not herself dad, I don't know her anymore."

Bob gripped his shoulder, "She needs help, Adam." He set his bottle of water on the railing, "I know I upset you when I mentioned your mother and I'm sorry for that but I can't help but think of her when I think of Kim."

"Pops..."

"Hear me out son. Your mother suffered from postpartum depression. I think Kim has it as well, you're right Kim isn't herself, she's lost. She needs help."

"I can't help her if she's not here. I'm pissed off. She walked out on our son, she left him. I begged her not to go, I was in tears begging her to stay and she just left..." he began to raise his voice

Bob sighed heavily, "She is hurting just like you."

"I don't give a shit if she's hurting, Pops. She left me, she left her son." Adam bit back, "I would never leave." He stood up and retreated back inside the house.

Kim had hung on every word as each women stood up and spoke of their battle with depression, they held nothing back.

It was brutal to listen to but it gave Kim something she had been lacking, it gave her hope. She could finally see the first hint of light at the end of a very long and very dark tunnel. She waited as the crowd dispersed, she watched as Cheryl embraced each and everyone of them as they walked out.

Her story had been remarkable.

Cheryl fought tooth and nail to find her way out of the fog of postpartum depression, she had turned to alcohol to numb the pain. Her husband had left her, taking their baby with him. That had been the final straw, that was Cheryl's rock bottom.

Kim approached her once the last woman had left, "This..." she paused searching for the words to appropriately describe what she was feeling, "It's hard to explain. I've felt so alone for so long, I was so ashamed by what I was feeling. I still am, but it's different."

"You're not alone anymore." Cheryl grabbed a business card from her purse, "You've taken the first step in getting help, it doesn't end here though. You need to speak with a doctor" she handed it to Kim, "This is my doctor. She's amazing, I always recommend her to new members."

"I'm from Chicago. I left my husband and son and just drove."

"Ah, rock bottom huh? How old is your little boy?"

"Almost three months. I've got a picture..would you like to see it?" It was the first time in Sebastian's young life that she was eager to show his picture to someone. She knew it was because of who Cheryl was and what she been through.

"Does a fat baby sweat? Of course I'd like to see it." Cheryl giggled a bit.

She dug around in her purse before pulling the photo out, "This is Sebastian."

"He's gorgeous. I love his name, it's different." Cheryl tapped her finger on the photo, "This your husband? He's handsome."

"That's Adam. He's wonderful." Kim grew misty eyed, "I dreamed of hurting Sebastian. That's why I left, I had to leave. Every night I dreamed of hurting him..killing him" it killed her to say it out loud but she knew she had to, if she had any hopes of getting better she needed to confront it head on.

No more running.

"Sebastian wouldn't stop crying, all he wanted to do was nurse. I just couldn't do it anymore, but he wouldn't take a bottle, so I had to nurse him. I hated it, I hated him. He would always end up vomiting afterwards, he would just started screaming, he wanted to nurse again, I couldn't do it. I held him under his arms..." she felt her hands begin to tremble as she looked back on that day, "I wanted to shake the life out of him, I nearly did it but I didn't, I put him down and I ran from the room. I knew I had to leave, I couldn't hurt my baby."

Cheryl grabbed her hand, "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Postpartum is an ugly beast, it changes you in ways you've never thought possible. It makes you want to do things that you'd never do, the real you would never do. This disease it changes you."

"I don't want to kill my baby!" Kim yelled out before falling apart, "I am so sorry...I'm so sorry..." she sobbed uncontrollably, each sob more heartbreaking than the one before it.

Cheryl hugged her, "You're going to be okay. You're going to get the help you need, I will see to it." She rocked with Kim in her arms,"Let it out honey, let it out."

Upton was relieved to hear Adam had banged out for the day, she dreaded having to look him in the eye knowing what she knew, her text messages and voicemails to Kim had gone unanswered.

She decided she would do as Kim asked but she had given Kim a deadline, she would need to talk to Adam by the end of the week, if she didn't she'd go to Adam without what she knew. Needless to say Adam being out had settled her nerves.

"Stay for dinner." Geraldine told him, "I've got a roast in the oven, you know me I'm constantly over cooking. We will never eat it all, so stay."

Adam shrugged, "I don't know Sebastian isn't in the best of moods. I'm not all that hungry."

"Please, Adam. Just stay. I can cuddle with my best friend and you can keep your dad company. I know you haven't been eating much, just humor me okay?"

"Alright. I'll stay."

She clapped her hands together, "Good! It'll get better Adam, I know it will. This too shall pass..."

"Hope so." He had to admit he felt lighter, the conversation with his dad had helped. It lessened his burden just a bit.

Kim held the phone in her hands, willing herself to call him. To reach out to him but her fear kept her from doing so, instead she returned the phone to drawer, without turning it on. She pulled the covers down and climbed into bed, she was exhausted. It had been an emotional day, she had taken the first step in what was going to be a long and hard battle.

For the first time in weeks, she was hopeful.

"He's not interested, Adam" Geraldine placed the bottle on the table, "he keeps turning away from it." She had offered to feed Sebastian so Adam could eat, "The doctor said he was okay?"

"Yeah." Adam spoke through a mouthful of food, "She said he'd eat when he was hungry."

Geraldine wasn't so sure she agreed with the doctor, "Did you take him to his pediatrician?" Her mother's intuition was screaming at her that it was something bigger than just a virus.

"Urgent care. His doctor was slammed." Adam replied.

"You told her about the vomiting, yes?"

"I did. She said its normal for what's going around."

"You told her that is projectile? That it happens more than it should?" Gerri pressed him, "That he can vomit like that multiple times a day?"

Adam thought for a minute, "Yeah. I think so. She was in and out in less than ten minutes, it's all a bit of blur to be honest."

Geraldine nodded her head, "Okay. I just hate seeing him so miserable." She kissed Sebastian one last time before handing him over to his daddy.

"Me too." Adam replied, he wished his wife felt that way. "You sure you don't mind keeping him tomorrow, I really don't wanna take another day."

"Don't be silly Adam, of course I don't mind." Geraldine reassured him.

"Thank you."

Kim had finally slept through the night, she was still up before the sun but for the first time in weeks she slept for more than an hour or two, she felt refreshed in more ways than one and was excited to meet up with Cheryl, she had found her life preserver in the older woman.

Upton fired off another text, she had yet to hear back from Kim, she knew she couldn't avoid Adam forever, but the longer Kim remained silent the more she felt as if she needed to tell Adam.

She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Thanks again." Adam dropped the diaper bag on the table, "I think I packed everything, it's been a crazy morning. I slept through my alarm, I didn't even change him yet, just snatched him out of the crib." He explained.

It had been a rough night, Adam just couldn't turn his mind off, it raced with thoughts of Kim and why she left them. Talking to his Pop and Gerri had brought him a bit of peace for a few hours yesterday, that had been shot to shit over night.

"Are you okay Adam?" Gerri asked.

"Yes, I'm fine." He hugged her, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." He lied through his teeth. He wasn't fine, he furious and he was heartbroken at once.

"Really?"

Adam's shoulders slumped, "No, not really. Nothing I can do about it though, right? I don't know where she is, she won't return my calls. Nothing." He felt his anger begin to rise to the surface, pushing aside the sadness he had felt on the drive over.

Geraldine saw the tears in his eyes and she felt as if she was going to burst into tears at any moment, she hated that she had brought it up. It was the last thing he needed before going in to work, "I'm sorry. Kim loves you Adam, she's not thinking straight."

"No. She's not." Adam replied, "Why didn't she talk to me? Why didn't she come to me with this..why did she leave us?" His voice cracking as he spoke.

"Honey.." Geraldine wrapped her free arm around Adam and hugged him as best she could with Sebastian in her arms, "I don't know, I wish I did." She pulled back, "I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry I upset you."

"It's fine." Adam sighed.

"Maybe you should take another day. Perhaps that would be best."

Adam couldn't do that, he knew if he missed another day they'd start to ask questions, questions that he didn't have the answer to.

"I'll be fine, I will call in a little while to check on little man." Adam kissed her cheek and then Sebastian's.

"Be safe, sweetie." Geraldine watched him until he drove off.

Halstead dropped a coffee on the corner of Upton's desk, she had become his everyday partner and while it was a bit tense at first they'd found their groove and they worked well together. They could read each other pretty well and Jay didn't like the vibe she was giving off.

"You ok?"

"What?" Upton shook her head from side to side, "Sorry. I was daydreaming. I'm good." She pointed to the coffee, "thanks for that, I'm gonna need it."

"Daydreaming?"

"Yeah." Upton shrugged, "You ready to roll out?" She asked him, they were tasked with interviewing the owner of the

Jay followed her downstairs, "This daydream? Is it about that dude you're seeing?"

Haley rolled her eyes, "Possibly" She was quite content with allowing him to think her daydream was about a guy. She tossed him the keys, "You're driving."

Jay caught the keys, "Sweet!"

Kim and Cheryl had secured a corner booth, "That was delicious." Cheryl tossed her napkin on the table, "I'm glad you could meet me this morning." She had done a fair bit of research last night and secured a few numbers for her newfound friend.

"Me too." Kim pushed her plate aside, "When's the next meeting?"

"At the hospital? Not until next week, but I am hosting one tomorrow at a church just a few minutes from here." Cheryl was heavily involved in the cause and spearheaded multiple support groups and was equally active at the state level. She had given up her career years ago to put all she had into helping those who battled postpartum depression, it had become her passion. She had learned that talking to someone who had experienced postpartum depression themselves helped immensely, knowing someone had fought the same beast and come out the other side was a valuable asset for a woman who was struggling.

"Do you think I could tag along?" Kim asked.

"Of course. I'd love it." Cheryl smiled, "I hope you don't mind but I went ahead and reached out to a few of my contacts. I know you're based in Chicago and that my doctor is a bit of a drive for you, I found a few highly recommended doctors." She said the paper across the table, "They are wonderful, I know this one personally. She is a sweetheart." She had starred one of the names in red pen, "Kim, it's imperative that you see a doctor."

She nodded her head, "I know. I do." She glanced at her hands, "I spoke to my doctor when Sebastian was about six weeks old. I told him how I was feeling..." she paused, "he blew me off. Told me it was normal to feel that way. He said I needed to just push through it. That I had a healthy baby and that I should be happy."

It had been deflating to hear that, it embarrassed her and made her feel even worse.

"I'm sorry." Cheryl hated it when she heard stories like that, "it's unfortunate that happened. Sadly many doctors feel that way, it infuriates me to no end."

"I was embarrassed, so I tried to do as he said. I tried to be happy but I just couldn't do it." Kim explained, "I never brought it up again."

"That's over now. You can't look backwards. You're on the path to recovery now, and we need to focus on that. Once this is all said and done, you and I will have a chat with that doctor."

Kim smiled, "I like you. I like your style."

Cheryl laughed, "I've chewed out at least a half dozen doctors, it's seems it always the old guy who feels that way."

"Old school I guess."

"I suppose so, but its no excuse." Cheryl waved her hand around, "Well, moving on. I don't want to get all worked up, it won't change the past."

"Can I ask a personal question?"

"Of course." Cheryl replied, "I'm an open book ask away."

Kim took a deep breath, "Your husband. How did you get him to forgive you?"

Things had hit a wall and the unit was left to chase down leads from the bullpen, it had become a tedious task of checking paper trails and gathering account numbers and searching for deeds. There wasn't much to be done out in the field and they found themselves relegated to their desks.

Which made for a miserable time, none of them enjoyed desk duty they all preferred to be busting down doors and running after suspects.

Haley had laid low for the most part, she had been able to avoid Adam with relative ease. Though she didn't think avoiding him was really all that necessary, Adam had kept to himself. His usual jovial personality was nowhere to be found, he was quiet and focused on the task at hand.

She still kept her distance from him, he'd enter the break room she'd leave, if he was somewhere she needed to be she'd wait for him to leave. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with him, she wasn't sure she'd be able to keep her mouth shut. With each passing hour her frustration with Kim grew, she still had yet to receive a response to one of the dozen texts and voicemails she had left for her.

Adam was busting his ass to stay focused on the case in front of him, it was hard to not let his mind drift from the task at hand. Their case was pretty run of the mill as far as white collar crime went. They were dealing with embezzlement and money laundering, and right now it required them to try and follow the paper trail.

It was a lot of connecting the dots and following account numbers linked to off shore accounts, they'd found a few accounts but were struggling to find a definitive link between the account and their suspect.

Once that connection was found they'd be able to proceed.

Adam looked up from the file in his hands, the framed photo on his desk caught his eye. He stared at it briefly before placing it face down on his desk. He couldn't look at her, not now.

Unbeknownst to him, Atwater was watching his every move.

Kevin was growing increasingly concerned, he didn't like the vibes radiating off of his buddy, he had reached out to Kim to no was up, Kevin needed to find out what the hell was going on, and he knew who he needed to talk to.

Voight poked his head out into the bullpen, "Upton. I need you to follow up on an anonymous tip. Take Ruzek with you."

"What?" Upton had already headed for the stairs only to stop on a dime when Voight told her to pair up with Ruzek, "Ruzek?"

Hank nodded, "Yes."

Adam was already holstering his weapon.

She couldn't take him, she couldn't be in a car with him, "Boss...I can't." She stammered a bit, "I waiting on an important email."

"Good thing the department supplied you with that fancy ass phone, you know the one that can receive emails."

Voight's tone of voice had caught everyone's attention and Upton felt everyone's eyes on her, well everyone but Adam. He was oblivious to the mounting tension in the bullpen, he was halfway down the stairs when Upton found her voice.

She thanked her lucky stars that she was quick on her feet, "Sure. I'd get the email but the file I need to reference it against is on that desktop." She pointed to her desk, "Boss if I'm out in the field when the email comes in..."

Hank waved his hand around, "Forget it. Halstead you go with Ruzek. Upton you're on the desk." He was a bit miffed at her refusal to comply with his orders, "Get used to it. You're sitting for awhile." Voight didn't like her attitude and he wanted her to know it.

"Understood."

Adam was waiting in the lot, a bit confused as to why Upton hadn't shown up yet. He was growing impatient, he wasn't in the mood for this shit. Perhaps he should've banged out, it was too fucking late now.

"Ready to roll?" Halstead clapped him on the back.

"Where's Upton?" Ruzek asked.

"On the desk. She's waiting on an email. Can I drive?"

Adam tossed him the keys, "I don't give a fuck."

Jay watched Adam as he climbed in the passenger seat, his body language was all off. He was quiet and still, and very un-Adam like. He had picked up on Haley's mood when she learned she'd be partnered up with Adam, she quickly talked her way out of it. She may have been able to disguise her discomfort with Voight, but not him. He saw right through her excuse, she was avoiding Ruzek and had been doing so all day.

"Oh Kim..." Cheryl sighed, "that's a discussion for another day. It took a lot of work on my part but in the end we got there. Right now, you need to focus on yourself. Once you've got a handle on things then you can work on repairing your marriage."

"You did it though, right? I need to know that it's possible. That I haven't ruined everything."

Cheryl reached across the table and grabbed her hand, "You didn't ruin anything. Do you understand?l

"It feels like I did."

"No. Not you. Postpartum Depression did, not you." Cheryl insisted, "Once the fog clears, you will see."

Kim forced a smile, "I hope so."

Platt was over PTO requests, it seemed at least a half dozen crossed her desk on a daily basis. It had led to her having to pull officers from their usual shift and pencil them wherever the coverage was lacking, then she'd have to deal with someone whining because they didn't care for their shift.

If only they knew how close she was to putting a freeze on PTO, while doing such a thing was above her pay grade and it was unlikely to happen but that didn't mean she couldn't threaten them.

Kevin was hoping she would have some insight, Platt seemed to know everything.

"Hey Sarge..."

Platt smiled at him, "What's poppin' big homie?"

Kevin shook his head, his face contorted into look of confusion or disgust he wasn't quite sure how he felt, "Don't." He shuddered, "Don't say that, Sarge."

"What? I'm down with the lingo. I'm hip..."

Kevin nodded his head, "Sure." His response dripping with sarcasm, he didn't bother to respond to her comment, "Have you spoken to Kim lately?"

"I have not." Trudy moved out from behind the desk, "Why?" She glanced over her shoulder at him as she pulled the expired memos off the bulletin board.

"It's just been quiet on her end." Kevin knew Sebastian was keeping Kim busy, "Ruzek isn't right either."

"As if Ruzek was ever right, Atwater. They've got an infant keeping them busy." She crumpled the papers up and tossed them in the garbage can, "Are you jealous Atwater?"

"HaHa." Kevin grumbled, "Forget it."

Platt rolled her eyes, "I was just busting your balls. I'm sure everything is fine."

"I hope so."

Gerri had just lifted Sebastian from the bath, "You're so handsome." She cooed as she used the towel to dry him off, she noticed his eczema was flaring up a bit "let's lather you up, handsome" she tapped her finger against the tip of his nose, she worked the lotion into his skin, covering him from head to toe.

She hoped now that he had been bathed, he would be a bit more interested in his bottle. He had refused it the last two times she had offered it.

Halstead followed Upton into the locker room, he couldn't take it any longer. She was acting strange as hell and it set him on edge.

Once inside he turned and locked the door, "What the hell is going on, Haley?"

She glared at him, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What the hell is going on? Any time Ruzek is around you clam up, you do all you can to avoid him. You bailed on that interview. You're 'daydreaming'" he scoffed, "which is absolute bullshit, you don't daydream, when you're at work, you're all here. Not today though. What's up?"

Upton took a deep breath, "Nothing" she opened her locker, "It's nothing."

"Bullshit."

She looked him in the eye, "Just leave it alone, Jay."

Jay folded his arms across his chest, "Like all those times you left me alone? Come on Haley, you're my partner. You can talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

She slammed the locker shut, if he only knew how badly she wanted to tell him, "I can't."

"Are you in trouble?" Jay inched closer to her, "Come on..."

"Jay please." She tried to move past him, "Let me go."

Jay stood firm, "No. Not until you tell me what's going on." He told her. "We are partners. I need to know you're okay. I can't have you distracted, I need to know you've got my back. I've got yours, unconditionally. Just tell me what it is."

Upton massaged her temples, she knew he meant every word he said. He wasn't going to budge, she knew she had to tell him. "Kim left Ruzek."

Jay was floored, he was certain even the slightest gust of wind would knock him on his ass, "What?"

"She left him. She reached out to me. She's got a burner phone, Jay. She's gone off the grid. I'm only supposed to contact her in an emergency."

Jay sat down on the bench, "Why'd she leave? She didn't take the baby?"

"I've no fucking clue. She didn't give me the details, she asked me not to tell Adam."

Jay jumped up, "You need to tell him." He had his hands on his hips, his jaw locked. He couldn't believe she hadn't told Ruzek yet. Had he been the one Kim reached out to the first thing he would've have done was tell Ruzek.

"No!" She went toe to toe with him, "You can't tell him either. Promise me Jay. I will kick your ass if you tell him. Kim is trusting me. I can't break that trust."

"What the fuck?" Jay was flabbergasted, "So I'm supposed to look at Adam and not say a word? I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut? This isn't right Haley. This is messed up."

"Welcome to my world." Upton glared, "I will tell him. I've given Kim an ultimatum if she doesn't call him soon, I will tell him everything. Until then I need you to keep your mouth shut."

Geraldine woke with a start, she wasn't sure what had woken her up but her heart raced. She peeked in on Sebastian as he slept soundly in his swing. She ran her hand over the back of neck, passing out on the couch had put a serious kink in it.

She gasped when she realized the time, she and Sebastian both had slept for nearly three hours. She had a restless night, and she knew Sebastian hadn't had the best night either, she decided to let the baby sleep as she straightened up a bit.

As time crept on and Sebastian continued to sleep her concern started to mount, it was nearly time for his next bottle. She grabbed a fresh diaper and gathered the supplies needed to change him. Kim was very particular about Sebastian's diapering routine, she was adamant that he be changed frequently and that diaper cream was applied with each diaper change. She would do all she could to keep diaper rashes at bay.

In hindsight it was obvious what was going on, Kim was desperate to gain control of something, she had no control over anything else in her life she'd do her damndest to control the little things.

"Come on little man, you've slept long enough" Gerri spoke to him as she undressed him, "Sebastian honey...let me see those beautiful eyes of yours." She unfastened his diaper and was shocked to find it dry as a bone once again.

"Sebastian...sweetie, wake up." she had gone to change him three times since Adam had left and only once he had urinated and it wasn't much at all, had his diaper not had that silly line on the front of it that changed colors when it was wet she wouldn't have known.

His eyes fluttered open, "Ah, yes." She breathed a sigh of relief, "That's GG's Boy." She cradled him in her arms as she went to retrieve his bottle, "Let's try this again buddy, I need you to eat."

When she brought the bottle to his mouth he refused it, turning away from it. His eyes were closed again, though she could see the whites of his eyes as his lids parted a bit. He wasn't right, her relief had been short lived.

She had enough, something was seriously wrong with Sebastian.

Geraldine quickly packed the diaper bag, "We need to get you checked out." She talked to try and keep herself from panicking, she needed to get him to the hospital.

She'd call Adam once she had made it to the hospital.