Canon Character Rundown

Okay, so once again, at the request of Ander Arias I have decided to do a little rundown of the canon characters and how they've been used in the recent FG Fanfiction. If you guys were holding out for Part 2 of my OC Rundown, well, it'll be up next time...if I don't get any more damn requests.

Well, let's just get the fucker over with.

Peter Griffin

Okay, so everyone's favorite retarded jackass has been used for little else besides humor on this site. While he remains the protagonist of his own show, he is merely a gag tool to be used by the more creative people. Usually, author's take advantage of Peter's stupidity and his arrogance to drive a gag, usually ending with someone biting his nipples off.

On the other hand, Peter had a bit of a dramatic moment in Brian's Dilema, where he became a murderous, hateful, and jealous bastard, but sadly, it didn't work. I'm sorry to Haylias, but that was just bad characterization. Brian's Dilema was more of a dramatic story, which was surprising because Haylias himself is a nutty and hilarious person, who Malcolm, Ander and Bhaal could take lessons from.

Action wise, Peter rarely fights outside of Chicken Fights, something I hate to no end, and doesn't have anything remotely interesting, other than his stupidity. Peter strikes me as a rather lazy character. He has no real personality, he's just an idiot that someone has to clean up after. We have a word for people like that in my town, we call them autistic.

Lois Griffin

On reflection, I may be on to something here. Lois is rarely seen in Fanfiction when it comes to her being the central character. She's more of a moderator to other fanfics, usually being the voice of reason to an OC, or a responsible mother figure to the other characters. I really see Lois as the kind of mother that you have to appreciate. Yeah sure, she's Pro Choice and does a number of other questionable thigs, but since when have you seen a Family Guy Character that is a shining beacon of responsibility?

Lois is usually paired with Brian in stories centered around her, but these stories tend to meander off of her and focus on Brian, or their eventual children. I really feel that Lois has really gotten shafted in the character development department. Fortunately, like Meg, you can go any direction you want with her and nobody will complain about her being Out Of Character. So maybe this gives the idea that Lois was specifically designed for Fanfic writers, and not for use in the actual show.

All in all, I like Lois. She's kind, resposible, a little kinky, and funny when she appears. She's really the straight woman of the show (ironic huh?) and works the same way as Brian does. Not really much else to say here, so let's move on shall we?

Stewie Griffin

Ugh, I postively hate this character. He was funny in the first few seasons, but that was when they had a good balance between Evil and Gay. Now, he's flaming more than a forest in the dry season. I just have to point this out. When Stewie was a matricidal evil genius, his voice reflected it, but when he made the transition to a homosexual, annoying nerd that no one would honestly admit to liking, his voice became somewhat deeper and more dopey. Watch an episode from the first few seasons, then watch one from the current season and you'll notice the change in voice.

Fanfiction-wise, Stewie is rarely seen outside of the ever-infuriating Stewie/Brian category, however, he sometimes takes other adventures. Stewie's fics consist mostly of "Road To" fics, Stewie/Brian slash fics, Stewie killing Lois fics, and several others. Stewie is easily the biggest cliche character, being that you can only expect so much from him in a fic. Oh yes, there's the occasional rebel author who will do something different with him, saying FUCK YOU CLICHES! Then he runs around slapping himself in the face for a bit before he sits down to write his genius.

Either way, Stewie is not really the kind of character I would like to read about. He's just so overdone, being the Family Guy character with the second largest fanbase, and there's really nothing else you can do with him that hasn't been done.

Chris Griffin

Uh...there hasn't really been any fics centering around Chris...or at least none that have any depth. Most Chris fics are abandoned about one or two chapters in, so there's nothing you can do with them. The good thing about Chris is that because he's had such little development in the show, you can do anything you want with him. One of the funny things about Chris in the show, is that he holds small incesteous attractions to his relatives, stating that Lois and Meg were hot in two different episodes.

Lois: Well Chris, if you have a note, read it to the class.

Chris: I think Mrs Griffin is hot.

Lois: Go to your room.

Peter: Chris can I see you in the kitchen for a second?

(Peter and Chris head into the kitchen to whisper about Meg's work on Handi-Quacks)

Peter: Okay, this is not working out.

Chris: Dad, she's trying, she get's along with everybody.

Peter: She does not get along with everybody.

Chris: Well, she's kinda hot.

Peter: She's office hot.

Chris: You're right.

Peter: It's because she's the only woman around.


Chris: Yeah, I'd do her, but in the real world she doesn't hold up.

So that's kind of funny, and it's good to see that someone other than Kevin thinks Meg is good looking...even if it is her little brother, but then again, I think we've all had a hot sister at some point, am I right?

Anyway, although nobody has taken advantage of Chris's versatility, it would be a good change to see besides the piles upon piles of Stewie, Meg and Brian bullcrap that's been plaguing the front page lately. The problem is that most of it is bullcrap, which tears away from the actual good ones.

Megan Griffin

Depite being the punching bag of the show, Meg has the largest fanbase in Family Guy. Everyone always feels sorry for the cute, helpless girl who gets shafted by everyone else. Some people like to say that the biggest cliche in Meg fiction is her being paired up with an OC. What the fuck? I could understand it being cliche if there were 50 of them, but there are 389 stories in this category, and only 3 use the Meg/OC pairing. Please, stop saying it's cliche. It's still an original concept. Although, funnily enough, Meg fiction didn't become immensly popular until Meg's Family, The Spellbook, and Whispering Illusion came along, so maybe the fanboys are onto something.

What is actually the biggest cliche in Meg Fiction, is her being paired with Kevin Swanson, which is a pairing I never understood. Kevin stopped speaking in the show after the third season, and we haven't seen him since. You'd think the fanboys would get off this piece of crap, because it doesn't go anywhere. I mean, you can't have them get married, you risk being called out for ripping off the Big Three...okay, next episode, I'm going to have a better group name for Bhaal, Malcolm and Ander, and everyone had better like it.

All in all, Meg has quickly risen to be the most popular character in Family guy fanfiction, and I hope she's proud of herself. I bet that Mila kunis, at this very moment, is looking over at Seth and making smug preening noises.

Brian Griffin

Brian is also a victim of what I like to call "Obsessive Fanboy Rage Syndrome" (that's "Religon Syndrome" in places where they don't have fanboys). One of the biggest symptoms of OFRS is having a few plot ideas that people are to scared to venture away from. Brian's fics include mostly Lois/Brian pairings, Stewie/Brian pairings, or Brian/Anthromorphic Mary Sue pairings.

The few cases where Brian was taken away from these categories was in the three Virtual Seasons (Episodic Fics) where he was explored in several new and intuitive ways. Brian is, and has always been, a support character. He's there to provide advice, or assistance to other chracters, and little else. The one time where a Brian cliche was done well, was in Brian's Dilema, which sadly didn't make my top ten list. While I didn't like the story, and I'm quick to remind everyone of that, I had to admit that it was very well written, and I hope Haylias picks it up again.

So that concluded this painful exploration into canon characters. I would like to ask any onf you in the future to think about topics for me to do before you submit them, becuase this was just a two hour assault on my creativity.

Future Episodes include:

OC Rundown: Part 2

Review: Meg Apparition

Review: Family Guy Fan Journey (Indie Adventure Game)

(Not necessarily in that order)

~Determined to make all writers feel bad about themselves~

~Material~