Part Ten: Tell Me
"You were the one that kept me grounded, kept me at NCIS even when I felt like running away. Every time something bad happened you made sure that I was taken care of. When I nearly died from y-pestis you were the one that kept me from the edge. You fought for me, beat it into me that I'd be alright. You let me recover, and you knew my limits better than I did. When Jeffrey nearly killed me in that car you were the one that understood, that saw what was happening to me. I only got to be there once for you, and even then I don't know if you wanted me to be there…"
Those tired blue eyes were beginning to water, fingers gripping the tape recorder in one hand and a bottle of Jack in the other. Gibbs swallowed, the autopsy results were in and the news didn't soothe Gibbs' restless spirit.
"You didn't know us, but we knew even less about you, Boss. You'd kept us out of your life in so many ways, but we couldn't let you go. The man you let us know, the man that kept us together…you'd suffered so much and yet you cared for us; your band of renegades, failures, and geniuses. You didn't want to let us go, and so when it came back, and you came back to us it was our moment to actually felt like we made you proud…"
The tape recorder dragged on, but Gibbs couldn't listen to it any more. His eyes were full. A hand rose and wiped away the wetness there. Weary eyes stared at the wetness on his hand; the other one still held the bottle and in the last moment of staring at that wetness the bottle was chucked against the distant wall. "Why could you never believe that you weren't a letdown? Damn it DiNozzo! You were the one that kept me grounded, you learned and grew.
You survived when you shouldn't have. You taught me how to care again, and that was something that made you special. You know how many agents I went through? Not letting them in at all, being the mystery that you figured out so quickly…you were the first that actually wanted to push past the obvious. You needed to, to fulfill something I guess…that's why I couldn't turn my back on you when you needed it.
When we thought…hell, when I thought we'd lost you to those bastards…to that madman…I never wanted to finish something so much before. Never wanted to find someone and just slit their throat. Bleed them out and make them suffer like they made you suffer, I would have been locked up a long time ago if you hadn't kept me sane Tony. You made me proud nearly every day, you were ruthless at times and ridiculous at most others but you were never a letdown. I was proud to have you on my team, to train you and call you my second in command. Tony, if I'd had a son, I'd have hoped you 'd be the man he'd grow into."
"Boss, I know I never said it and I know I probably never needed to but you were the closest and the best thing to a father I ever had or ever wanted. You were my safe harbor, my comfort blanket, and my motivator all wrapped in one. You knew tough love better than anyone, but you knew how to actually show love. It was nice; it made my existence seem worthwhile for something. I enjoyed the years I spent at NCIS, I wish I had more of them left but I know it wasn't worthless. It most definitely was worth something in the end. I wish I could tell you half the things I want to but I doubt I have that much time left."
"You didn't have to Tony…I knew…"