Kurt was determined not to let his crabby mood ruin Rachel's big read through, much as he feared the script itself might turn out to be a train wreck. I can be positive. For Rachel. Everyone was coming over anyway, he figured. The last thing he wanted was to have a big fight with Blaine in front of all their friends. Rachel was one thing, even Mercedes, but he did not feel like having to defend himself to Brittany.
So, once he was dressed he decided to make nice, putting out all of the food on the counter and the table. He shook his head, remembering that Blaine had said Rachel had suggested he cook extra for the guests. Conveniently on the day he'd agreed to do the breakfast dishes for her. He always falls for her tricks. If everyone weren't coming over and he wasn't mad at Blaine anyway, he might bring it up or offer to help at least. Not today. He can let her talk her into doing all her chores next weekend too for all I care.
Once everyone was gathered in the loft he sat down, mentally telling himself to hold his tongue once the reading started. He really did think that Mary Halloran was out of her mind, but she obviously was very successful. This was a big deal and he wanted to support Rachel as best he could. At least if there's some parts that are just wacky Rachel can get some feedback from the reading and maybe some of our notes will have an impact?
When it was time to start the readthrough Blaine came over to sit next to him on the couch, but Kurt shooed him away with a point to a chair in the corner. Forgive me if I don't feel like cuddling right now. This is business. Blaine sulkily gave Kurt his space and luckily everyone else was so wrapped up in Rachel that no one seemed to notice.
The script was even worse than Kurt had feared. It barely made any sense, but he let Artie take the lead in telling Rachel so. She seemed to take it okay. It was awkward knowing that this was a project she really wanted to be another big break, but they wouldn't be good friends if they just told her what she probably wanted to hear. It was a tough position to be in; Kurt wasn't sure what he'd do in her situation. He didn't like that she was taking a lot of risks that could jeopardize her job at Funny Girl, but he also didn't truly know what it'd be like to have a television producer come knocking. It was certainly a hard thing to say no to. But it would do Rachel no good to drop everything for a TV show if it was just going to make her look like a joke. He hoped she could do something, talk Mary Halloran into rewrites or somehow get another writer on the job?
After the read through everybody went their separate ways. Artie had some big film school test to study for, Sam and Mercedes were taking Brittany out to a bunch of tourist places she'd never been before, and Rachel had a matinee to get to. That left Blaine and Kurt alone in the loft. Blaine dutifully began washing all the extra dishes now piled high on the counter. Kurt thought about saying something, but thought better of it. He dug into his bag by the door and got out his theatre history notes. Not going to do itself, I guess.
After awhile the sound of running water stopped and it was quiet for a moment. Blaine cleared his throat.
"So I guess you were right about Mary Halloran, huh?" he said lightly.
"Guess so," Kurt replied, not looking up from his work.
"You studying for the theatre history test?"
"Yeah."
There was a pause. "If you don't need me or want to talk or anything…. um, I was thinking maybe I should head to the library this afternoon. Study there," he said quietly.
Kurt regarded him for a moment and then nodded. Usually they would study together for something like this, but maybe it was for the best in this case. "Yeah. Okay," he agreed.
"I thought maybe it'd be good to… give you some space." Blaine offered.
There was a pause. Kurt sighed. "I appreciate that. I do know we need to talk, but I honestly haven't figured out what I want to say. And I have a ton of homework to deal with this afternoon—so uh, not exactly a great time for me to have a fight and get all upset, no offense."
Blaine nodded, looking at the floor. "I get it," he mumbled, "Me too, honestly."
Kurt eyed his fiancé. "You, uh, have another big rehearsal or something with June tomorrow after school?"
Blaine shook his head. "No, she's going to some event tomorrow. I'm pretty much off after Acting for the Camera class. Was just going to head back to my place until it was time to go for Monday night dinner."
"Okay. We've both got a big test to study for and then all the other classes tomorrow to worry about. Let's both get our work done today, and I'll come over after classes and… we'll talk then."
"Deal." Blaine collected his things quietly and then hung by the door, hesitating for a moment. "W-ell I guess I'm going. Um… I love you."
Kurt looked up. He'd kiss him goodbye at least normally but it felt too soon. "I love you too," he offered quietly.
There was a pause and Blaine opened the door.
"Oh Blaine—" Kurt said.
"Yeah?"
"Don't waste time on the slides. Professor Polin hardly ever draws test questions from them. Focus on the names and dates from your lecture notes and you'll do okay."
Blaine nodded. "Oh—okay, I will."
Kurt sighed as he watched him awkwardly wave goodbye and close the door. He probably shouldn't care about how he studied for the test, but old habits die hard. And he did love him to pieces. It was just… hard being in a relationship sometimes. It would be so much easier if he could just know he could trust him no matter what. And the lingering hurt over June Dolloway's scathing assessment of his talent hadn't helped. He replayed the moment in the dance lab when he met her after the performance. Ugh. I can't keep obsessing over this.
Blaine had agreed to talk about it tomorrow because he was afraid if he didn't make an appointment to do it he might keep putting it off, and at some point he knew he couldn't just hold him off forever; it just wasn't fair. He's already said how sorry he is, what even am I expecting is going to come of this? Should I just punish him and put it behind us? Kurt wasn't used to not knowing what to do in these situations and to say it unnerved him was an understatement.