This chapter is dedicated to Shadows91259 for being my fiftieth reviewer.
CHAPTER 10
…
The Team's injuries were minor and they put off treatment to debrief the League members that arrived at the explosion site. As soon as Batman heard about the explosion he ordered a full League response. Only the mentors and Green Lantern Hal Jordan stayed longer than a few minutes. Hal and J'onn started sorting through the building remains and corroborating with the responding emergency services while the protégés explained what happened.
"Unable to deactivate it, I abandoned the bomb," Robin finished.
"I get that. But why were you clinging to Kid Flash when we arrived?" Flash asked, and Robin felt her cheeks flushing. The League response had been in record time, and when they touched down, she had yet to pull her face away from Kid Flash's chest. It had taken Green Arrow loudly clearing his throat to make her jump away. Robin had kept a healthy four people between her and Kid Flash since that moment, but continued to make furtive glances in his direction while Zatanna grinned in triumph.
"Kid Flash thought I wasn't going to abandon the bomb, and he ran in to get me after I'd already left. He wasn't near us when the building exploded. I was just glad he was okay, and not blown to bits," Robin explained, lifting her head and daring anyone else to mention anything. No one did, but Batman gave her a scrutinizing stare.
"Right," Flash nodded.
"The League will take care of cleanup. Team, you can head back to the mountain and treat your injuries. Robin, I'll meet you in the Batcave after," Batman said.
"Actually," Zatanna grabbed Robin's arm and pulled her close, "he's going to stay at the mountain tonight, right Rob?"
Robin was about to say no, but Zatanna was giving her a meaningful look. "Yeah."
"Then I'll see you tomorrow," Batman said after only a moment's hesitation. Now dismissed, the young heroes loaded onto the bioship. Robin moved to her usual seat, and Zatanna took the one closest. Kid Flash was forced to take her normal spot on the other side of the ship.
"So, you have something you'd like to tell me?" Zatanna asked after they had taken off. Robin spared a glance around the aircraft. For the most part it looked like no one was paying attention to them, either absorbed in their own conversations or content with silence. But Connor glanced their way one too many times.
"Not here, okay?" Robin said, nodding in the superclone's direction.
"Okay. It's not like I don't already know what you're going to say anyways." Zatanna nodded, and Robin groaned quietly, dreading the incoming conversation. Zatanna maintained her cheery attitude for the duration of the flight, and Robin let herself sink into her thoughts.
Wally just had to run back into the building, didn't he? He just couldn't trust her to know when to leave, like everyone else. It was stupid, but Robin decided she was happier with denial. Not even an hour since she realized the truth, and she already wished it could be taken back. Shoved into the depths of her mind, never to be heard or felt again. But emotions didn't work like that, and she was already struggling with the prospect of loving Wally West.
Robin had already decided she could never tell him, there were too many problems. Wally only knew Robin, and he only knew Robin as a boy. All evidence pointed to Wally being straight. The speedster would reject Robin, if it was he who confessed. But Dixie was forbidden from revealing her identity. Even worse, what it Robin confessed, and Wally did reciprocate? He'd be loving a lie. Sort of. Dixie was bigender, but genetically she was female. Lots of people have a hard time separating gender and biological sex.
Even if Wally West – or Kid Flash – was to meet Dixie Grayson, she would still be lying to him. No matter what, she'd never be able to keep her identity from him. Then he'd be mad at her for lying, or he wouldn't understand, or he'd be disgusted.
Robin drew a knee up to her chest. It was stupid, but she felt like she wanted to cry. She never cried. Hero or civilian, boy or girl, Grayson was a wall of steel. Until she learned she was in love with her best friend. It was so ridiculously feminine that she wanted to laugh. Even when she was little, Dixie Grayson had been anything but feminine. The first time she ever wore a dress was for one of Bruce's galas.
As soon as the bioship landed Robin was out the door. She could treat her measly graze in the safety of her room. Robin dug the med-kit out of her desk and went to the bathroom. She cleaned her injury, gave it the three measly stitches, and stowed everything back where it belonged. As she was closing the drawer, Zatanna moved into the open doorway.
"Connor's busy fussing over M'gann's injuries, and if I remember right, your room is sound proof." Zatanna shut the door and claimed the better part of Robin's bed. Robin dropped into the chair at her desk and sighed.
"You were right."
"About?" Zatanna asked, drawing out the word.
Robin gave her an annoyed look. She didn't want to say it out loud, that would make it real.
"Come on," Zatanna goaded.
Robin stared at her hands and grumbled.
"What was that?"
"You're way to much like my best friend," Robin said.
"Wally?"
"No, my civilian one. You guys are a lot alike. She realized I was bigender before I did," Robin elaborated. Zatanna and Barbara would probably get along really well. If Barbara ever followed through with her vigilante musings which, knowing Barbara she probably would, Robin would have to introduce them.
"Okay. So are you going to say it, or is it up to me again?" Zatanna asked. She flopped backwards, lying down on Robin's bed with her legs hanging off the end. Silence reigned for several seconds.
"You're-"
"I'm in love with Wally," Robin interrupted. Zatanna grinned and pulled her legs up, rolling around so could see Robin clearly. But instead of smiling sheepishly, or blushing in that adorable way she did when embarrassed, Robin was sitting stiffly, fingers curled tightly together. Zatanna couldn't see her eyes, but based on the way the acrobat's head was tilted, she was looking at the cluster of pictures on her desk.
The largest was of the Team, as it was now, standing outside the mountain. After the Atlanteans joined, M'gann insisted on getting a group photo. Even Roy, who'd been making one of his rare visits, was roped into it. She'd herded everyone outside and got Red Tornado to take the photo. Captain Marvel was flying in the background, having arrived just as Red Tornado took it. Connor ended up being in the center of the group, arms crossed and expression characteristically subdued, but there was a spark in his eyes. M'gann's arms were slung across his shoulders, and she had to turn to face the camera. Kaldur was beside her, and amused look on his face. Raquel was grinning next to him. Tula and Garth were on the right, fingers entwined, and Zatanna was laughing beside them. The reason for everyone's amusement was on the ground in front of them.
Roy was sprawled across the ground at Connor's feet, chin resting on the heel of his hand, and an annoyed expression on his face. Wally was directly on top of him, lying across Roy's back, with his arms spread like an excitable child. Topping off the dogpile was Robin herself. She was perched, cross-legged, on Wally's back. Like Connor her arms were crossed, but she was grinning. Fresh from a mission in Gotham, she was the only one in uniform and had a few minor scrapes and bruises, plus a heavy bandage on her forearm.
It had been a great day. The afternoon was spent with videogames, movies, and lots of snacks. Robin officially met Kaldur's childhood friends, was fussed over by M'gann, and set a new record for how quickly he could defeat Wally at their favourite video game.
"Robin, what's wrong?" Zatanna asked.
"I can't tell him."
"What?"
"I can't tell Wally that I… that I love him."
"Can't, or won't? Zatanna sat up.
"Both. It'll ruin everything if I do." Robin grabbed the picture frame and turned it down. She didn't like feeling this vulnerable. The only person she'd ever truly exposed herself to was Black Canary, after the simulation. But this wasn't her Aunt Dinah, this was her teammate, her friend.
"Why?"
"Because he doesn't know who I am. Batman and I, we're detectives. It's our job to consider the evidence, think of different scenarios. In every one I can think of, it ends badly."
"And why's that?"
"Because in every one, I'm lying to him," Robin said quietly.
"Then don't lie. Tell him who you are first, and confess after," Zatanna offered.
"I'm not allowed to." Robin shook her head.
Zatanna frowned for a moment, then smiled. "Llet em ruoy eman!"
Robin suddenly sat up straight and found herself speaking against her will. "Richelle Mary Grayson."
Robin clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes widening, and shot out of her chair. "Zee! Why did you do that? Bats is gonna kill you, he's gonna kill me! I've got to erase the feed from the security bugs, Connor could have hear, I mean-"
"Richelle, mlac nwod," Zatanna said in a soothing tone. Robin felt a wave of calm wash over her and she sat back down. "I know who you are now. Did the world suddenly end?"
"No, but it's more than that. The villains in Gotham, some of them would do anything to learn our identities. If they somehow find out you know, and get to you-"
"First off, how would they know I know? I've never been to Gotham, probably never going to go there. And if I do, I doubt it'll be for hero business. You trust everyone on the Team, right?"
"Yeah." Robin nodded as Zatanna reached out to comfort her.
"Good. Batman's the one who isn't ready and – holy shit…" Zatanna's eyes widened and she dropped her hand.
"What?"
"You're Richelle Grayson," Zatanna said.
"Yeah."
"Batman is Bruce Wayne," she continued.
"Yeah."
"But… Bruce Wayne, he's a playboy. He throws extravagant parties, has a new girlfriend every other week, vacations in Thailand," the magician rambled.
"I do too. Not the girlfriend thing. I've never had a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend. But technically they're my parties too sometimes, and we vacation in Europe too," Robin said. Zatanna's calming spell was still in effect, but she was perfectly fine with that.
A slow smiled curled across Zatanna's lips. "You would've dated me, wouldn't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Just, to maintain Robin, keep up the persona. If it had been more than harmless flirting, you would have dated me."
"I don't know, maybe. Flirting was fun. Dating might have been fun, but probably wouldn't have lasted long if we did." Robin shrugged, and Zatanna's smile widened. She leaned forwards off the bed and gave Robin a chaste kiss on the lips.
"It would have been fun, wouldn't it?" Zatanna laughed. "Since I know you're identity, you can take of your mask. Unless you want to be in uniform all night."
"That wouldn't be very whelming." Robin hesitated, then slowly peeled off her mask, officially becoming Dixie.
"Pretty," Zatanna hummed.
"You won't tell Wally, right?"
"I won't tell anyone." Zatanna held her hand out, and Dixie took it. "Ouy evah ym drow."
Their clasped hands shone and when they pulled away, their palms were connected by a faint string of light for a moment before it all faded.
"That was pretty," Dixie said, correcting Zatanna's earlier statement.
"No way. I swear those are the darkest blue eyes I've ever seen. Richelle, you're a doll," Zatanna teased.
"It's Dixie, actually."
"Okay. And when you're not Dixie?"
"Richie."
Zatanna stifled a laugh. "Not very creative, are you?"
"Hey, if I was born a boy, my name would have been Richard. Richie is a nickname for that," Dixie explained.
"Fine, I'll give you that. But Dixie, you can't just not tell him. I'm not saying it has to be now," Zatanna rushed out at Dixie's defensive expression, "but you have to tell him eventually."
"Eventually," Dixie said with a firm nod.
"Good. Now hurry up and change. Wally will think we're up to something if we stay in here, alone, with a closed door, any longer."
"Wally wouldn't – okay, yeah, he would. But I still have an identity to maintain. Just because you know my secret, that doesn't mean the fun has to stop." Dixie said with cheeky grin, one worthy of the prankster Robin.
Zatanna smiled and laughed, agreeing to help Dixie keep up appearances. But the moment her back was turned, the magician's gaze settled on the downturned photograph, and a sad look crossed her face. She had a lot of work ahead of her.
…
'See' you next time!