A/N: Ah, another chapter. I expected this one to be a lot shorter, and was totally wrong— I think it's the longest so far, on account of a lot of dialogue and a lot of Romeo and Juliet being included. I skipped the dojo destroyer story arc; the whole idea was that the fathers faked things to try and bring Ranma and Akane together, and, well... there wouldn't be much need for that, would there? It's a great part of the manga, though; it's really the closest that Akane has come to admitting her feelings for Ranma.

I thought this would be a short chapter. I'm pretty sure it's the longest so far, on account of the verbatim play dialogue and a large amount of character interaction. Here's hoping it doesn't put you to sleep.

One review, which I couldn't respond to since it was an anon; DBZLOVER: I didn't actually think of that, but I wasn't really thinking that Happi didn't know. He was just trying to embarrass them in front of their fathers. And to everybody else, thank you so much for the reviews.

So, here we go. Time to mangle Shakespeare. The bard is turning in his grave.

Ranma was deep in a poker game with Daisuke and Hiroshi. Usually better than them, this particular game was not going his way. Thankfully, he would never agree to play for more than 500 yen... because he was sure he'd lose if he put any real money into it. He looked over his shoulder at the argument that was brewing behind him.

"Because I hate being in plays!" Akane shouted. "Okay?"

"Please, Akane!" a classmate pleaded.

"No one else can play the lead!" another chimed.

Ranma tossed in the ¥10 big blind and looked at the two cards he'd been dealt. Deuce-seven off-suit. Blech. Hiroshi tossed in a raise and Ranma promptly mucked. "I'm out," he said, rising from the table and walking to where Akane was mopping the floor.

"Want a hand?" he asked.

"Hey, I'm the one in the drama club, not you, remember? It's my job!"

"Just trying to help. It's a natural reaction to seeing you working while I'm standing around."

"Thanks anyway, but I'll be done in a second."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why did you join the drama club if you're not going to do any acting?"

"Ranma! There's a lot of stuff to do behind the scenes. That's why I tried to get you to join, remember?"

"I'm still thinking about it. I was afraid of taking time out of training, but it doesn't sound like it consumes too much..."

Akane batted her eyelashes. "It's never too late, you know..."

"Always with the sweet talking."

Akane stuck her tongue out at him and continued mopping.

"What play are they planning?"

"Romeo & Juliet."

Ranma raised his eyebrows. "Oh? Why don't you want to be in it? I'm sure you're good enough."

"It's not that."

Ranma looked out the window. "Then what? I thought every girl in the world wants to play Juliet. Or does the guy cast as Romeo have halitosis or something?"

Not getting an answer, Ranma looked at his fiancée and realized that she'd stopped mopping, and tears were forming in the corners of her eyes. He took the mop from her and set it aside, wrapping her in a hug. "Hey, hey, hey," he said, "what's the matter? What is it?"

She looked up at him, looking absolutely devastated. "They don't want me to play Juliet!"

"They don't? Well who do they want you to play?"

She looked down. "The other lead."

"The other lead? Romeo?"

She nodded.

"Uh... why on earth would they want you to play Romeo?"

"Because... I played Romeo in elementary school. I was the strongest in the class, even though I was a girl, so I was the only one who could do his fighting scenes."

"Well, yeah, but... elementary school girls don't have boobs yet, and the boys' voices haven't dropped. They're interchangeable at that age. That's not really true when you're sixteen."

"Everybody loved my performance, but I hated playing a guy. All I wanted was to play Juliet, but they stuck me in there as Romeo. I just... I don't want to go through it again."

Just then, the drama teacher approached them. He was wearing a ridiculous costume; the type of person that had sought a life as a professional actor, and probably hadn't made it beyond 'juror 3' in his college production of Inherit the Wind. "Why don't you want the role, Akane?" he asked. "It's the lead!"

Ranma wasn't so sure about things. Elementary school was one thing... would they really ask a high school girl (with boobs like Akane's) to play Romeo? Or was she just assuming? He thought up an easy way to check. "Who's playing Romeo?" he asked nonchalantly. It was an obvious question, and if the guy really did want Akane as Romeo, his attempts to explain why would make him look like an idiot.

The drama teacher scratched his head. "Well, we haven't cast Romeo yet," he replied. "Is that the problem, Akane? Are you worried about who your costar will be? You can be a part of the decision-making process if that's the prob— "

Akane's eyes widened, a smile growing across her face. "It's okay," she said. "I'll do it. I'll be Juliet."

The drama coach was elated, skipping away to undoubtedly make preparations, while Akane seemed to be in some kind of happy stupor. Ranma gave her a hug. "You need to stop assuming stuff," he said. Akane didn't answer. Ranma nonchalantly put his hands on the back of his head. "So, I guess you've got lines to learn," he said, "or do you have the whole thing memorized already?" Akane giggled. "I probably do know most of it,"she replied. "Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"

Kuno popped in from the window. "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!" he cried, delivering Shakespeare in a method not unlike the way Samuel L. Jackson describes how many motherf-in' snakes are on his motherf-in' plane. Ranma put his palm to his face. "I really should've seen that one coming," he moaned. Akane looked at Kuno through narrowed eyes. "And who cast you?" she growled. Kuno held up a permission slip. "I did!" he replied. Ranma shook his head. "I don't think it works that—"

Just then, a thump distracted everyone. The source of the noise was Gosunkugi, trying and failing to nail a voodoo doll into the wall. "Let me guess," one of the girls said. "You want to be Romeo, too?" Ranma smirked at Akane. "Maybe you were on the right track turning the role down," he said with a chuckle.

Happosai strolled through the door. "Oh gee," Ranma said, rolling his eyes. "What could he possibly want?" Happosai's eyes shimmered. "Oh, to do a love scene with Akane..." he said, before being flattened by Ranma. Ranma looked at Akane. "I suppose I should be proud," he said, "that my fiancée is so cute that every guy in the school wants a piece of her." Akane peered down at the old man. "And a few outside the school," she chimed.

That night, Ranma and Kasumi sat looking at photographs of Akane in her elementary school play. Ranma shook his head. "She must be a good actress if she pulled off Romeo," he said. Kasumi nodded. "She was a hit," she said. "She did the fighting scenes better than anybody!" Ranma snickered. "Figures," he said. "Always a martial artist before anything else."

He rose and wandered outside. There was a light coming from upstairs, and, walking around the side of the house, he saw Akane in the window. "Hey, look," he said, chuckling, "Juliet's on her balcony." Akane stuck her tongue out at him.

"Any idea what's going to happen with Romeo?" he asked.

"None."

"You're not seriously going to have to star opposite one of those freaks, are you?"

"Kuno, maybe. He kinda has a lot of pull."

"I sure hope their antics don't ruin the play for you. I know people like Kuno tend to do that to a lot of stuff you work for."

"Well, you know..."

"What do I know?"

"If you joined drama club, you could be my Romeo... just like in real life..."

"Uh... Akane, I've never acted in anything in my life. Working behind the scenes sounded kinda neat, y'know, it would've been something to do together, but... I don't think I could handle playing Romeo in Romeo and Juliet! That's starting kinda big, don't you think?"

"It just a couple of scenes for a regional competition. There are hardly any guys in the drama club already, and none of them act very well. You'd be at least as good as they would. Please?"

Ranma groaned inwardly. He really didn't feel up to the task. On the other hand, the mess Kuno would surely make of the whole thing would be devastating for her. "Eh... well... lemme think about it. Let's see what happens with the casting. If it's the only way to keep the whole play from being ruined..."

"Aw, thanks, Ranma!"

"Yeah, well... I can tell it's really important to you, and I really hate seeing you cry... and I know you will if everything goes wrong. Besides, I know you'd do something like this for me."

Akane glanced inside. "It's getting late, are you coming to bed soon?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. We'll deal with the crazies tomorrow."

Ranma sat in the auditorium seats as Akane was climbing into position in the balcony built onstage. Truth be told, he was really proud of her. There she was, his fiancée, playing Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. It was something to brag about— he was engaged to the star!. He turned his attention to the three ridiculous-looking Romeos standing at the foot of the stage— Happosai, Kuno, and Gosunkugi, all dressed in various crazy costumes. 'This can't possibly end well,' he thought, burying his face in his hand. With any luck, someone serious in the drama club would best them and get cast as Romeo, and Akane could have her play. Otherwise, he was going to have to step in.

He looked at the three Romeos. 'I sure hope they wouldn't expect me to dress like that,' he thought.

"Do you have any idea what Romeo and Juliet is about?" the drama teacher asked the three in exasperation. None seemed able to provide an answer. Ranma looked at the ceiling, sighing. It was official— he'd been recruited.

Maybe it would be all right. Maybe his acting wouldn't be too bad, and he'd actually enjoy it. "I can feel that community theater prize slipping through my fingers," the drama teacher moaned. "Now the students will never get to enjoy that invitation to see China."

China?

Ranma sat bolt upright. Now he had two reasons to play an acceptable Romeo. There was no doubt anymore— he had to do this. He raced to the group. "Excuse me," he said, tapping the drama teacher on the shoulder. "Akane had asked me to audition for Romeo. Where do I sign up?" The other three looked at him like he had a second nose. Kuno stepped back and unsheathed his bokken. "If you want my role, you'll have to fight me for it!" he yelled.

"Wait!" Gosunkugi yelled. "This is a play, right? Why don't we settle this onstage?"

"A battle royal!" Kuno said, smiling like an idiot. "The one left standing onstage will be the true Romeo!"

"Wait a minute!" Ranma said forcefully. "First of all, this play is really important to Akane and you're going to ruin it if you turn it into some kind of battle! Geez, you guys are trying to win Akane over and you can't even tell how much she cares about this? No frickin' wonder she wants nothing to do with any of you..."

"What's your point, Saotome?"

"My point is, we settle this before the play! Before! That way, everything goes perfect the night of the show!"

"And how do you propose we settle this beforehand?" Kuno asked.

"I'm glad you asked. I have a simple idea." He looked up at the balcony. "Hey, Akane! Which one of us do you want to play Romeo?"

"You! Ranma!"

"Thank you!" Ranma looked at the other three. "Good enough?"

The other three looked at him angrily, especially Kuno. "Saotome," he growled, "what spell do you have over Akane that would make her want a man like you?"

Ranma rolled his eyes. To hear Kuno talk, he was the greatest sorcerer in all of Japan. He felt something being pressed into his hand, and looked down to see a book that the drama teacher was handing him. "Act two, scene two!" he said excitedly. Ranma looked at the book, a copy of the play.

It couldn't be that hard, right?

Ranma blanched as he read the book. "Kami, there's like five minutes worth of me just talking!" he said. Akane nodded. "Yeah, you have a monologue before I appear on the balcony," she replied. "Then, we have the stuff we say to eachother." They sat on their futon, in their bedroom. Ranma had suggested reading lines to help him get the play figured out— he didn't realize that he had to talk so much!

"Do you think I can have somebody holding cue cards offstage?" he asked.

"I guess so."

"Thank Kami."

Akane chuckled.

"So, uh... what exactly is this play about?"

"Well, Romeo and Juliet meet and fall in love, but they come from warring families, so they can't be together."

"So the exact opposite of how we got together."

"Correct."

"So what else happens?"

"Well, Romeo has friends that he's with throughout the play. At one point, he and his friends fight a group of people from Juliet's family, and one of Romeo's friends is killed. Romeo kills Juliet's cousin in revenge, and is forced to live in exile. Juliet's father pushes her to marry another man, even though she loves Romeo. She comes up with a plan where she takes a potion that makes her seem dead. The idea is that they'll take her to the crypt, Romeo will come and she'll wake up, and they will run away together."

"Hey, I like that! That's a pretty sweet idea."

"Well, things end up not working out. Romeo doesn't get word of the plan and thinks Juliet is really dead. He goes to see her body, and brings a bottle of poison. After he sees her one last time, he drinks the poison. Juliet wakes up, but Romeo is already dead. She takes his knife and kills herself with it."

Ranma sat in stunned silence. "That... is... so... terrible! Who the hell would write such a horrible thing?"

"It's Shakespeare, Ranma."

"What the hell was wrong with that guy? Why do you like this play so much? Why does anybody like this play? That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard!"

Akane put a hand to her face. "It's a classic, Ranma. Shakespearean tragedy. Think of it this way. They couldn't be together in life, but they were finally together in death."

"I... guess... So what scene are we performing?"

"It takes place right after Romeo and Juliet have met at a masquerade ball. Romeo sees her at her window. It's just the two of them. It's really sweet. The most famous scene from the play."

"Okay." He looked at the book. "Couldn't you have fallen in love with a happier play?"

Akane shoved him playfully. "Shut up, Ranma."

"Seriously! Did this Shakespeare guy write anything where everybody doesn't die?"

"Just read it!"

"Fine. What's the other scene we're doing?"

"Romeo finds Juliet and drinks the poison."

"And you're going to stab yourself."

"Right."

"Great. The ending. The depressing part."

"Just pretend it's real. Same with the balcony scene; it's called method acting. Now... read! You need an idea of what you're going to say!"

A couple of hours later, Ranma lay in the darkness, holding the sleeping Akane. He was replaying the cues in his head. He definitely didn't consider himself an actor, even though Akane said his reading was realistic. He was a little bit nervous about performing onstage, though he'd been drawn into school-wide spectacles more than once, so attracting a crowd wasn't exactly new to him. The bigger concern was just getting it right. If everything went smoothly, it was no sweat to him and Akane would get the play she always wanted. If he bungled it, he'd look like an idiot and the thing that Akane had wanted since she was a girl would be wrecked.

And doing it right meant a free trip to China. He didn't know if he could cure the curse, but he had to go to China to find out. He'd planned to take a trip there as an adult, when he had money, but now... he might be able to go right away, for free! How did he wind up with so much riding on something he hadn't given crap one about two days ago?

He heard a rustle outside the window. Sitting up, he turned around to look, and was instantly hit by someone that he couldn't see. Two more assailants flew in, pinning his arms down, but Ranma was able to knock the first person back out the window with a kick. Struggling, he yanked his arms together, smacking the other two headfirst into eachother.

The light came on, and Ranma found himself looking at Gosunkugi and Happosai, with Kuno leaning in the window, holding a large iron chain. Akane was sitting up, covering her naked chest with an arm. Apparently, she was the one who'd grabbed the light. Gosunkugi and Kuno started to get nosebleeds, while Happosai sprang into the air, only to be flattened by an angry Akane.

"Get out of my room!" she cried. Kuno looked at her. "Dearest Akane," he said, "I was only trying to remove that scoundrel Saotome who'd snuck in here!" Akane grabbed a dumbbell with her free hand and sent it flying into Kuno's face. "It's his room, too!" she yelled. "Did you miss the fact that we're engaged?" Kuno was in shock. "Akane Tendo," he muttered. "You... and Saotome... sleep in the same..."

Ranma threw Gosunkugi at him, knocking them both out the window. "Out!" he yelled. Akane picked up Happosai and sent him flying the same way. Ranma went to the window, where he saw a hole dug in the garden, and half a dozen bags that looked like bags of cement. "I think they were going to bury me alive!" he said in surprise. Akane reached over and tugged on his arm. "C'mon, Ranma," she said. "Bed time. Worry about it tomorrow. We have a lot of work to do still."

"I knew they wouldn't give up that easy," Ranma moaned, slamming the window shut and jamming it so it couldn't be opened.

Ranma and Akane walked toward Furinkan. Akane was glowing in excitement; Ranma was a nervous wreck. Doing this to make Akane happy hadn't seemed like a big deal, but it was now hitting him that he was about to perform in front of a few hundred of his peers. Thankfully, his dad was going to be assisting, holding the cue cards that the two of them had made the night before. (After all— who else could make signs so quickly?)

Walking into the building, Ranma was suddenly yanked aside, finding himself face-to-face with Gosunkugi, dressed to look like Akane (or so he thought). Ranma looked at the pale idiot. "Akane, you're really let yourself go," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Why Gosunkugi thought he had Ranma fooled was anyone's guess... especially since Akane was watching the entire exchange from a few feet away. Gosunkugi handed something cloth to Ranma, something that was suspiciously hissing.

"Oh, Ranma!" Gosunkugi cried in falsetto. "I'm so glad you came to play my Romeo! I even made you a costume!" He scurried away, with Ranma right on his heels. As soon as he stopped, Ranma handed the clothes back to him. "Sorry," Ranma said, "but I have a fiancée. I can't accept gifts from girls." He turned a corner, chuckling at the pop that he was sure signified the explosion of whatever Gosunkugi was holding.

(A/N: I couldn't possibly come up with a better line that what was in the manga there. Also, am I the only one to see the significance of Ranma actually admitting he was engaged to Akane? It's only the second time it's happened.)

Ranma made his way to the stage door, where Akane was waiting, already in costume. "I'll change in a sec," he said. "I want to be ready if Happosai and Kuno show up." As if on cue, the two of them sprang in from another hallway, fighting with eachother to get to the stage first. Glancing around, Ranma saw nobody in sight backstage. He darted through the doorway and pulled out the water bottle he'd brought. With a quick splash, he was a red-haired girl.

Going back to the hallway, Ranma found Kuno and Happosai both clamoring for Akane. They stopped as they saw Ranma. "Pigtailed girl!" Kuno cried, before Ranma kicked him to the ground. Grabbing Akane by the shoulders, she pulled her into a very-indiscreet tongue kiss, snaking a hand around to cop a feel. After a few seconds, they looked over to see the two annoyances collapsed on the floor. Ranma grabbed Kuno by the wrists. "Let's lock them in a room," she said. Akane nodded and picked up Happosai.

A few minutes later, Ranma was male and dressed, and Happosai and Kuno were bound and locked in a classroom. Ranma knew it wouldn't hold them for long; he only hoped that it would hold them long enough for them to finish the play. Taking one last look at his lines, the two of them made their way backstage. Ranma blanched when he saw the balcony that Akane would be standing on. She squeezed his hand. "You'll do fine," she said reassuringly.

Akane went to the back of the balcony while Ranma took his position onstage. He saw his father, as a panda, sitting offstage in front of him, holding a stack of cue cards. The furball gave a thumbs up. Ranma let out a breath. He sure hoped he could do it.

"Now for the final entry in the competition," a voice said over the PA, "the Furinkan High School drama club... in Romeo and Juliet!" The curtain flew open. Ranma glanced toward the audience, and was relieved that he couldn't see anyone behind the bright stage lights. Right on cue, Akane appeared on the balcony, eliciting cheers from the audience. Ranma looked at the cue cards across the stage, and took a breath.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off."

Ranma felt all right about the first part. He hadn't flubbed anything, and it sounded reasonably natural. He took another breath.

"It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return."

As he read on, Ranma started to remember these lines enough that he went away from the cue cards. Looking up at Akane, the talk of her eyes rang a little too true, and he started to lose himself. Snapping back to reality, Ranma realized that his reading was at least convincing to his father— the fat panda had forgot to switch to the next card!

Ranma glared at him... nothing. Shooting him a death glare, Ranma mouthed 'change... the... card.' With a start, Genma realized the problem and quickly flipped to the next cue card. Ranma bit his lip to keep from rolling his eyes.

"What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!"

"Ay me," Akane said, as if she'd been waiting to deliver that line since the day she was born.

"She speaks!
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air."

"O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father... and refuse thy name...
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet."

Ranma paused for a moment to marvel at just how well Akane was doing. She could have been a professional for sure. He was definitely proud. "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?"

"'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself."

Doing his best to actually act, Ranma raised his voice. "I take thee at thy word.
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;
Henceforth I never will be Romeo."

Right on cue, Akane spun around to look at Ranma below her, as if she'd had no idea that he was there. "What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night
So stumblest on my counsel?"

"By a name
I know not how to tell thee who I am.
My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself,
Because it is an enemy to thee;
Had I it written, I would tear the word."

"My ears have not yet drunk a hundred words
Of that tongue's utterance, yet I know the sound:
Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?"

"Neither, fair saint, if either thee dislike."

"How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here."

"With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;
For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do that dares love attempt;
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me."

After all of the practice time they'd taken, Ranma realized that the lines were actually flowing. It really felt like they were having a conversation with one another. It must have been that 'method acting' stuff Akane was talking about.

"If they do see thee, they will murder thee."

"Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye
Than twenty of their swords. Look thou but sweet,
And I am proof against their enmity."

"I would not for the world they saw thee here."

"I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight;
And but thou love me, let them find me here.
My life were better ended by their hate,
Than death prorogued, wanting of thy love."

Ranma realized as he said that last line that he really meant it. Maybe Shakespeare was on to something.

"By whose direction found'st thou out this place?"

"By love, who first did prompt me to inquire;
He lent me counsel and I lent him eyes.
I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far
As that vast shore wash'd with the farthest sea,
I would adventure for such merchandise."

Ranma let out a breath as he got to go without talking for a while. It was his favorite part of their rehearsals.

"Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face,
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night
Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny
What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries
Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.
Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,
I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay,
So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world."

Akane said every bit of it from memory. For the life of him, Ranma couldn't figure out how she did it. Other than the possibility that she'd memorized the entire play as a child. Still... she was incredible. He couldn't deny that.

She continued. "In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,
And therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light.
But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true
Than those that have more cunning to be strange.
I should have been more strange, I must confess,
But that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware,
My true love's passion. Therefore pardon me,
And not impute this yielding to light love,
Which the dark night hath so discovered."

Ranma inhaled as he prepared to start talking again. "Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops..."

"O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable."

"What shall I swear by?"

"Do not swear at all;
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee."

"If my heart's dear love..."

"Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast!"

How did she remember all this stuff?

"O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"

"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine."

"I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:
And yet I would it were to give again.

I wish but for the thing I have:
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite."

One of their classmates, who was cast as the nurse, called from offstage. "Juliet!"

Akane continued. "I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!
Anon, good nurse! Sweet Montague, be true.

Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow."

Ranma let out a breath as he, relieved, read his last line. "Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, peace in thy breast!
Would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest!
Hence will I to my ghostly father's cell,
His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell."

(A/N: Yeah, I cut part of that. It's too long as it is.)

The curtain slammed shut, and Ranma heard mad applause coming from the other side. Apparently, they were a hit. He nearly dropped from exhaustion. Akane raced down from the balcony and jumped on him, throwing her arms around him. "Ranma, it was perfect!" she said, squeezing him tight. He hugged her back. "Glad you liked it," he said, "because my nerves are going to be shot for the next month or so."

They walked off the side of the stage. "Okay," Akane said. "They're going to bring the table out, and it'll be time for the last scene. I'll be laying out there, and you'll come out to find me. Got it?" Ranma nodded.

Just then, The wall appeared to move. It turned out not to be the wall, but Gosunkugi painted to match it. He sprang on Akane, holding a cloth soaked in something over Akane's nose and mouth. Ranma jumped at them, but Akane managed to throw Gosunkugi off, before taking a shaky step and collapsing to the ground. The pale boy tried to drag her away, but appeared unable to move her (which made Ranma even angrier: she wasn't that heavy!)

Ranma took a step and planted a fist squarely in the middle of Gosunkugi's face, sending him flying. He knelt by Akane. "Akane... Akane..." he whispered. "Akane, are you all right? Can you hear me?" she stirred, looking up at Ranma. "Wha..." she murmured. Ranma put a finger to her mouth. "Sh, don't try to speak," he whispered. "Gosunkugi did something to you."

Akane looked around. "I can go on. Put me on the table. I want to finish this scene."

"Akane! You could be hurt!"

Akane looked at him tearfully. "Please, Ranma. I don't want to miss this chance. I'm okay. Really."

Ranma sighed and picked her up, setting her gently on the table that lay decorated in the middle of the stage. "I'm going to kill that little puke..." he mumbled.

The drama teacher picked up the microphone. "Juliet sleeps the sleep... of death!" he said, his voice echoing through the audience. "But wait! There is only one way to revive her! A kiss from her beloved!"

"Hey!" Ranma said. "That's not how the story goes!"

"That's Sleeping Beauty!" he heard a heckler call out in the audience.

"Thank you," Ranma mumbled.

The drama teacher covered the mic. "It was a special request from the judge! He said, you two kiss, you win!"

Akane grabbed his sleeve. "It's okay, Ranma. It's close enough. We can give the play a happy ending."

"You sure?"

Akane nodded, and the curtain flew open. Ranma found himself staring in the darkness where the audience was. The audience sat in silence. He looked down at Akane, who was now laying motionless. After Gosunkugi's attack, he was indecribably relieved that she was only playing dead.

Ranma reached down and stroked her hair. Corny as it sounded, reading those lines from such a famous love story made him realize that he did... love... her, more than any words in any play could possibly express. If he'd needed any reminder of that fact, pretending to be Romeo with Akane as Juliet was it. He cupped a hand under her head. Leaning down, he gave her a soft kiss. The audience exploded in cheering, while Akane stirred and put her arms around his neck.

They stayed like that, thunderous applause roaring throughout the auditorium.

Ranma and Akane walked down the road beside the aqueduct, hand in hand. Ranma was amazed that he had any nerves left that weren't shot, though seeing Akane unharmed from Gosunkugi's stunt was a big relief. The smile on Akane's face told him that his effort was worth it. She leaned close. "Everybody said your delivery was great," she said.

Ranma chuckled. "Are you sure they weren't just being nice?"

"No! They were serious! They want to do the whole play as the drama club's spring presentation!"

"Lemme guess... me and you as Romeo and Juliet, right?"

"Duh."

"Well, I'll give it a shot. It was kinda fun when I wasn't racking my brain trying to remember cues."

"The more you get into the part, the easier it is to remember the lines. You have to become Romeo."

"Yeah, I guess. You sure you're feeling okay after Gosunkugi's crap?"

Akane rubbed her head. "Aside from a splitting headache, yeah."

"I'm going to kill that little freak. I'll break him into a thousand pieces."

She wrapped her arms around him. "Don't stress yourself. He didn't hurt anything in the end."

"He almost wrecked the play for you!"

"Almost but didn't. He was one of three that could've easily wrecked everything."

"Still... at least when Ryoga almost cut your head off it was an accident. Gosunkugi did that on purpose."

"Yeah, but he wasn't trying to hurt me, just kidnap me."

Ranma grinned. "Well now, that makes me feel a whole lot better! I mean... I'm sure you could tear him a new one, but if you woke up tied to a bed... I can't imagine what he was planning to do."

"Yeah, I'm trying not to imagine it."

"I might not kill the little puke, but he'll pay... somehow..." He looked off into the distance, remembering the last time something like this had happened. "Do you think I was too hard on Ryoga?"

"How so?"

"Well, I mean... it was an accident. Maybe I shouldn't have got so mad about it. It's just... the thought of somebody hurting you drives me crazy. I dunno."

"Well, if he wanders back into Nerima, maybe you can make friends with him."

"Yeah, maybe. Geez, we're the most sought-after people in this city. What with Shampoo and Ryoga coming after me, and Gosunkugi, Ku— holy crap! We didn't let Kuno and the old freak out of the room we locked them in!"

"You think they can get out on their own?"

"Eh... let's hope so. The last thing I want to do is face an angry old man and Kuno trying to cop a feel on you. I say leave 'em."

They arrived back at the Tendo house, to be greeted by Kasumi and Nabiki. "Hurry up you two," the middle Tendo said. "You're missing China!" After exchanging confused glances, Akane and Ranma made their way to the washitsu, where a host of Chinese-themed decorations met them. Seated in the middle of the room was the judge from the play, under a banner reading "Award winning actor Xian 'China' Li".

Ranma shook his head. "Shoulda known," he muttered. Akane hugged him. "I like you just the way you are," she whispered. Ranma gave her a squeeze. He was certainly disappointed, but it wasn't like he couldn't go to China in the future. And besides... she did like him the way he was.

He surveyed the room. The fathers and Happosai were gorging on bottles of something alcoholic, either sake or champagne. Clearly the old man had indeed escaped; just as long as he didn't burst in on the play, Ranma wasn't concerned. Looking around, Ranma immediately spotted a familiar pale teenager.

"You!" he yelled. Gosunkugi jumped to his feet, but couldn't even take a step before Ranma grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him from the room. Taking him out to the garden, Ranma shoved him roughly to the ground. Gosunkugi looked up at him, trembling.

"You chloroformed my fiancée, you little freak!"

"S... Saotome, please... I just... I wasn't going to..."

"And what exactly were you going to do to her if you got away?"

"I, uh... I..."

Ranma leaned close to him. "Do you have any idea what I did to the last guy that hurt Akane?"

Gosunkugi gulped without saying a word. Ranma grabbed him by the hair and stood him up. "I want to break you in half," Ranma muttered, "but you're such a weakling I feel like I'd be wasting my time." Just then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked over to see Akane. "Let me talk to him," she said.

Gosunkugi suddenly entered dreamland. "She wants... to talk... to me?" he mumbled. Ranma shook him roughly. "Pay attention, nerdlinger," he said, rolling his eyes. Gosunkugi seemed to snap back to reality, while Akane leaned close and peered into his eyes.

"Hikaru," she said. "Ranma is my fiancée, and I love him. I don't want to be with anybody else. That includes you. Understand?"

Gosunkugi nodded slowly.

"I especially wouldn't like any man that took me away from Ranma, or took Ranma away from me. If anybody ever did that, it would only make me despise them." She lowered her eyes. "And if anybody ever hurt or... killed... him, to try to get to me, I'd make it my life's work to ruin them. They would have taken away what's most important to me." She took a breath and looked at the pale boy again. "Stop this, Hikaru. You're not going to win me over. Especially if you try to kidnap me. Are you hearing me? I'll never leave Ranma for you, or anybody else. Never. You can't change my mind."

She took a step back. Gosunkugi looked absolutely deflated; Ranma was pretty sure that he'd got the message. He let Gosunkugi go, and watched as the pale boy trudged around the front of the house toward the gate.

"I'd like to think that was good enough," Ranma said, "but even though he seems to have listened, I'll bet he convinces himself that he can win you from me if he tries hard enough."

Akane shook her head. "I'm not so sure, Ranma. I think he might have been just dense enough to have never realized I wasn't interested. He's not brainless like Kuno; I think he understands."

"I sure hope so. It gets really annoying dealing with these freaks trying to get a piece of you."

"Ditto."

"Maybe we should become prostitutes. We already have a loyal customer base. We could convert the dojo into a brothel. I think a red light bulb would be all it would take..."

"Ranma?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up."

Ranma chuckled as he took her hand and headed for the house. They might as well enjoy the festivities. They'd earned them.

A/N: Yeah, the line about forgetting the people locked in the room was based on the Family Guy episode where Stewie locked the babysitter's boyfriend in the trunk of Brain's car. So, did Gosunkugi get the message? Well, I have no idea. I'm going to wait to decide that until G next interacts with our characters. It would be pretty interesting to write him differently. We'll see.