This one's a little happier for you guys. There's been a lot of heavy feels lately and this starts out that way, but I think you'll like where it ends. Hope you enjoy. Please review!

Thanks go out to the following for reviewing the previous chapter:
storygirl99210 - Thank you! If you liked the last chapter, you'll love thing one!
StillDoll13 - I know, I cried writing it! Yeah, I couldn't kill him. Cody gave him her word! And she's always good on her word! And she just has a hard time excepting everything that she has to do. She doesn't like it. She most likely regrets not escaping when she finally could instead of making this plan. My word I have to stop talking as if Cody is a real person. Character, girl, she's a character!
And thank you for letting me know about the error. I found the name switches and changed them, but I always miss a lot of the spelling errors so those are most likely still there.
Mi-chan1991 - I could not have said any of that better myself! You are so right!
Pygmy Pandazilla - You're not the first person to tell me that for what I just did. And I'm so glad you like what I right. I wasn't as good when I first started on here, but as I continued and got feedback from people like you I have grown a lot better. Thank you so much for the compliment!
lilnightmare17 - Here you go! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10
Company

The rest of January and the whole of February were filled with much smaller missions compared to the Malina Island sabotage or even Cody's individual tasks the day after Malina Island. These missions were much simpler and none of them ran into any complications whatsoever. There were no mistakes, no injury and no intrusion from unwanted heroes.

Just that morning, Kaldur and Cody had picked up Icicle Junior for a little team of their own. He wasn't going to be the only one, Cody, Erik, Rich and Junior were informed. Tuppence and Tommy Terror, or more commonly known as the Terror Twins were going to be joining the them following week, which Junior took extremely well. He wouldn't stop talking about Tuppence Terror for the rest of the day (or even the coming week until they finally got the twins, for that matter.) Cody assumed someone had a crush.

Whenever Cody wasn't on missions or in the training room, she tried to avoid everybody. She had been shutting herself out, despite the fact that she was supposed to be trying to get information to hand off to Conley when they finally did run into each other, that was, if Conley was still going to go along with it. Cody had no idea if she was in or out, which terrified her.

She couldn't believe she had done that to Conley! It was just like her dreams when she was a teenager. There was that girl with short brown hair, blue eyes, covered in blood. It was her fault. Cody had done that. She did it. That was why she was secluding herself so much. She couldn't stand herself, let alone the people around her.

She constantly felt sick, but she supposed that was better than feeling nothing. Having the disgusting feeling in her stomach was better than being empty, but she supposed she was empty too. When she went on her missions, she no longer was ashamed at when she was doing. She did it, just like she had told Kaldur she would. She didn't like it, but she didn't feel horrible. Indifferent, she supposed.

At least she wasn't killing anybody.

Cody still woke up screaming and in cold sweats from the nightmares of that night. When she'd wake up from them, she was look at her hands and feel as if the blood was still caked on her skin, but nothing was there. She would rush to the bathroom and scrub her hands almost until they bleed. Add those to the nightmares she already had from being mentally and physically tortured for two years, Cody was a mess.

The mercenary hadn't talked much to Kaldur since they talked about not being able to feel anymore. He gave her orders during missions and they gave short greetings in passing, but they hadn't had a deep conversation like they had that night. Cody was kind of trying to avoid those deep conversations. Talking to Kaldur alone just made her remember how things used to be. She wanted them back, but there was no way of that happening.

Kaldur was broken, Cody was broken and there was no turning back from the paths they had chosen. Kaldur had his mind set on working for his father. He was broken and Cody feared there was no fixing him, at least, not without the risk of blowing her cover and destroying the mission. And who knew if he even wanted to be fixed? Maybe this really was what he wanted. Maybe Kaldur really was evil, despite every instinct in Cody's being telling her differently.
The brunette had been spending a lot of time in the Observatory, making sure to go at time she knew nobody, including Kaldur would be there. She had managed to do so very successfully until that evening.

Cody entered the Observatory and stopped, seeing Kaldur off at the windows. He didn't move when the door opened and Cody debated on going over or just turning around and leaving, but it seemed as if she couldn't. Something didn't seem right, and call her crazy; she still wanted to make sure Kaldur was okay. She supposed she couldn't just forget about him just liked that.

"Good evening, Sir," Cody greeted, stepping beside him.

She didn't receive a reply. Kaldur was standing there, staring out the window, acting as if he had no idea that Ember was standing right beside him, or that she had just spoken to him. He had a very far off look on his face, as if he was remembering a better time, one that now haunted him and hurt to remember. It was one of those memories that hurt so much to remember, but no matter how painful, couldn't stop going back to it.

Cody knew that all too well.

"Sir?" she asked. "Is everything all right?"

"The two women I've ever loved both died," he said. "Phoenix was taken from me by order of your Master and the other, Tula…" he trailed off, not willing to finished.

He-he loved me? Cody thought. She had to force herself to breathe and to turn her head away from Kaldur so he wouldn't see that she was trying to hide the water that was building up in her eyes. He had loved her, and she had hurt him. She hurt a man that loved her. He loved me and look at what I did to him! Oh my God, what have I done?

"Have you ever been in love?" he asked, catching her attention. His green eyes remained looking through the water for something.

Cody didn't know exactly how to respond. She had once cared a great deal for the man standing in front of her. She was taken away from something that could have very well been love, or something that may have grown into love. She didn't know. The only love she had ever really known was that for her friends and family. So, had she been in love?

Then again, why couldn't she stop going there, talking to the man she had once told herself was a lost cause; that it was no use trying because it could jeopardize her mission? Why couldn't she stop thinking that he was still her Kaldur, despite everything that he had done?

But he so often spoke like her Kaldur, just more broken and hurt. Was he still her Kaldur? Was it her that broke him? Drove him into this? Was there any chance at fixing his broken pieces and helping him back towards the heroes?

"I have loved people," she admitted, not really sure if she was including whatever feelings she had for him in there.

"What were they to you?" he asked.

"Family," she stated. "Friends, and perhaps a man. People that would be ashamed to see the things that I do."

"Why aren't you with them? Why did you not stay with them and do what they wanted?"

Cody opened her mouth to answer, but closed it, not sure what exactly to say. Finally she found something, but still not sure if they were really the right words. "I hurt the people I love most," she finally said. "I've had people die because of me. I have ruined years of people's lives because of things that I've done. I have caused them so much heart ache. I think they're all better off without me."

Were they better off without her? If she hadn't been born, her brother wouldn't have had to run away. Her parents wouldn't have died. She wouldn't have joined the Team and she wouldn't have hurt anyone by lying or making them think she was dead. Maybe it would have been better if nobody had ever known Cody Conwell.

"Yeah," Cody sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. "They are better off without me."

Maybe I shouldn't go back, she thought. Maybe when this is all over, I should just leave. I can say goodbye to Carson and be done with it all. I could go live somewhere on my own, away from people. Nobody could get hurt that way.

"How can you be sure about that?" Kaldur asked.

"Would you rather have never known Phoenix or Tula and prevented this hurt?" she asked.

"No," he answered, surprising her.

Her head shot away from the window and to his tan face. "Why?" she asked, turning to him, completely confused. "If it hurts you this much why wouldn't you want to forget? They wouldn't want you to be in pain, right? They wouldn't want you to hurt like this."

"Hurting reminds me that they were real," he said. "Sometimes I get tired of hurting, but I would rather hurt than never to have had the happy times I shared with them. They were some of the best moments of my life. I wouldn't change that.

"Phoenix and I would go swimming together. She would find out I would be going for a late night swim and she'd ask to join me just so I wouldn't have to be alone, and I could never tell her no, even if I wanted to be alone. Because I could not tell her no. And I wouldn't want to. Being with her made me happy.

"It wasn't perfect. There were times where she hid things from me, but she would always end up telling me. She didn't like to keep secret. She was just too afraid that she would lose us."

"Did you ever think about not forgiving her?" Cody asked.

"Never," Kaldur answered. "She kept things from us, but she always came clean. And her reasoning was valid. She shouldn't have done it, but I understood why. And no matter what it was, I would forgive her. I think that I would forgive her for anything."

Anything? Cody turned her head, looking at a shark quickly swim towards a large silver fish in the distance. Even if you did find out who I am, could you really forgive me for what I've done. Would I be able forgive you for what you've done? She asked herself that, but she was pretty sure she already knew the answer to that. Yes, she would forgive him if he sought it. Why else would she have actually gone to the Observatory that night; any night? If she didn't want to see Kaldur and try and get some answers, she wouldn't have gone. But she had gone, so she cared. She cared a great deal.

The question that really needed answering was if she would forgive herself for what she had done to him and everyone else.

"Would you want to forget the ones you love?" he asked.

Would she want to forget everyone? That was an easy answer. No, she wouldn't. She didn't. She couldn't. They were what made her her. So, perhaps she did see what he was saying. "No," she answered.

"So, perhaps that aren't better off without you," Kaldur told her.

Cody looked at Kaldur, her masked green eyes looking into his pale green ones. "Maybe you're right." After all, look at Kaldur. Perhaps if he found out that Cody was alive he would feel a little better. Cody was willing to blow her cover yet, but unlike fifteen minutes ago, she was actually considering trying to help piece her old friend back together, and maybe, in doing so, she too could heal.

"Okay," Cody said, changing the subject to something lighter. "I have to ask this, Sir."

"Then by all means ask," he said. Cody could tell he was in a little better mood as well.

"Junior so has a thing for Tuppence, right?" Cody asked. "I'm not just imagining that. Please tell me I'm not, because if I am, there is something seriously wrong with me."

Kaldur smiled. Actually smiled at her and nodded his head good naturedly. "Yes, he does," he answered.

"Any idea what that's about?" She pressed. She crossed her arms and leaned her shoulder up against the window, getting a little closer and more casual with her boss.

"Yes, actually," he said with a small chuckle. "It is from my days as a hero."

"Care to share?" she asked hesitantly, knowing that he was a little sensitive about their old hero buddies.

"We suspected Belle Reeve was letting out prisoners and covering for them," he started to explain. "We sent in Miss Martian and Superboy undercover as the Terror Twins. That was where Junior met Tuppence. Or Miss Martian. He knows that Miss Martian was Tuppence, but it seems he still believes to have feelings for the real Tuppence."

Cody couldn't hold herself back. She let out a loud, free laugh. She rested her head against the glass, feeling more relaxed than she had in five years. She shook her head, still amused by the story she hadn't known. She hadn't been on that mission. "That's priceless!" she finally managed to say between chuckles.

Kaldur was looking down at her, a small smile on his lips. His eyes were studying her, but not picking her apart like he had done so many times before. This time it was more out of amusement.

"What?" Cody asked, feeling a little self conscious.

"I don't think I have heard you laugh," he said. "Or smile, for that matter."
Cody's smile fell slightly, but there was still one there, ghosting her lips. "It's been a long time since I've had reason to do either."

"You should do it more often," he said.

"And so should you," Cody said.

"Perhaps we should give each other reason to, then," he suggested.

"I think you have yourself a deal, Sir."