Author's Note: Well…I checked the last chapter and I had typos and mistakes. Shesh, just when I told myself I was going to not do that anymore! Well…if this chapter has typos, then I officially suck at editing my own chapters and might need a beta. But in the meanwhile, I'm gonna try to finish this fic, so I can move on to others. Don't worry, not trying to say I don't enjoy writing this. I do, I enjoy writing this a lot. Also no more first person, cause that's how I roll.

So there was Bella Swan, standing next to her precious Eddiepoo. Ed and Al were very confused. Bella was too. Edward was nervous.

"Well um, uh, um, uh, ummmm…uhhhhh…" That was all Edward said, he furiously tried to think of something to explain to everyone. "So it was like this," He said, "I was walking down the street, and I saw a penny on the ground, I bend down to get it, but then my pants ripped so I had to- "

"Edward, where have you been?" asked Bella, wondering where all the purple prose went and why Edward wasn't calling her his lamb or something like that.

"…The lion, he fell in love with the lamb, right?"

"That's right!" Bella giggled, "Such stupid lamb, right?"

"Yes, very stupid." Edward cleared his throat, and continued. "Anyway, the lion felt that the lamb was getting to clingy, but he didn't know how to tell her this." Bella's dorky smile was replaced with a expression filled with confusion. "The lion ran away, and somehow ended up in this place." Edward gestured to the outside world, they were in now.

"The lion then met the ant and the teapot, who was his brother." From afar, Ed and Al heard this. Cue anime sweat drop, then anime vain pop for Ed once he heard the word 'ant'.

"What are you trying to say!?" said Bella,

"…and so the Lion fell in love with the Ant."

"Say what?" The whole room, expect Edward, asked.

"Well…who is this ant!? I bet you I can be better than her you know!" Bella yelled, pouting like a little immature girl.

"No, no you can't. And he's right here." Edward grabbed Ed's shoulder, forcing him in front of him, then presenting him like if he were his trophy wife.

"A-a boy?" Bella stuttered, her eyes wide enough that they might've popped out of her head. "Edward…I never knew you swung that way."

"Well of course I do!" Edward growled, "Why else do you think everyone was surprised when I brought home a girl, that day I took you to meet my family?" The whole room was quiet, Bella's eyes were still wide with surprise, and was deeply confused.

"B-but you can't be over me, remember, we are soulmates!"

"I don't believe in that crap! Besides…if I did have a soulmate, I would want it to be Ed, here."

"Grr, For the last fucking time, I HATE YOU!" Ed shouted, but it seems like both Edward and Bella didn't hear it, so tough luck for him.

"Ed?" Bella eyed Ed, frowning. "His name is Edward too?"

"Yes!" Edward said, "Isn't that wonderful! It's like…if he had married me, then his last name would be Cullen and his full name would be Edward Cullen. Like me! Only I guess I would change it to Ed Cullen or something like that but people will still get confused, and I'll laugh my ass off!"

"Wait!…you two are getting married!?" Bella sobbed, her eyes getting watery and puffy again. "Y-y-you can't marry him! You love me, I'm special, EVERYONE LOVES ME!!" She fell on her knees, crying into her hands.

"Wha- I'M NOT GETTING MARRIED WITH THIS GUY!!" Ed screamed, "He fucking sparkles in the sun, he's a creepy stalker that might be messed up in the head, he's abnormal, he's a freak, and I don't want to be of any part of his life!"

"B-but he's hot, that's all that matters!"

"NO IT DOESN'T!" Ed grabbed Bella by her shoulders, shaking her so fast that her head might fall of any minute. "Snap out of it, you idiot! Someone who barely knows you, who stacks you, watches you in your sleep - these are all signs of a really sick man that's most likely to be a serial killer! It's not love, it's not love. It. Is. Not. Love!"

Bella was making a weird gurgling noise while Ed was shaking her, was she choking on her own spit?

…Let's hope so.

"Yes. It. Is!" Bella said, between the shaking that was that still happening, "It. Has. To. Be!"

Finally, Ed got tried of shaking Bella. He released his grip from her shoulders, and she fell on the floor, a little dizzy from all of it.

"Oooh Mommy Renee, I want my juice." Bella said, her voice a little slurred, then she fell into some weird ass coma. Not that anyone was complaining, it was best to leave her there.

"…Well now that she's into a deep sleep." Edward ran forward, trying to scoop the small boy into his arms, but Ed moved out of the way, putting his foot in front, so that he trip Edward. Edward fell onto the floor, and on his face.

"Oh no you don't, you son of a bitch!" Ed said, "You gotta get it through your fucking thick skull that I hate you! I hate you and I hate that stupid book you are in!"

"E-Ed…" said Edward, but his face was hidden. Ed couldn't quite make out what he was doing…just lying there…was he…was he crying? "I can't help myself, and I don't know where else to go." He sniffed, "I don't know how I got here, and I don't know how Bella got here, and you, and Al, and…" He sighed, standing up from the ground, he faced the blonde boy. "I'm sorry," He whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"Whatever…" Ed scoffed, and turned away. He walked to where Bella was, lightly kicking her awake.

"HMM- What!?" Bella eyes popped open, "W-where am I?…Who am I? Who are you? Where's Waldo!?" Bella sobbed like a little baby, muttering weird things under her breath, in a little baby voice. Something about her wanting her blanky.

"Oh…" Ed facepalmed, he took a near-by lamp, smashing against Bella's head. She passed out once more. "Ah, there…peace and quiet." He sighed,

"…so that's what you had to do to shut her up." Edward said, "Nice…" He placed his hand on Ed's shoulder. "Thanks, Edward…Thedward." He laughed and snorted at his own joke, but soon stopped when he realized that he was the only one.

"What was your author smoking when she wrote your book?" Ed asked,

"I don't know, I sometimes wonder the same thing, it would explain the a lot really…" Edward lightly patted Ed on his back, then sighed. "Ed, what I wouldn't give to live here."

"No way, you'll just stalk me and -"

"No, I won't. I promise." He sighed, "I just…want to figure out how I got here…and how to stay here."

"Why would you want that?"

"Because…" Edward sighed, "I hate it at Forks! It's always 'go to high school'! How can I go to school if I never age! People are bound to find out sooner or later…" He sighs,

"You think living here will be any different?"

"Well, it currently was different when I hanged out with you and Al," Edward walked toward the window leading outside, he looked up at the sky, at the stars… "Damn, no UFO. Next time, I will catch one!"

"You're such a idiot!"

"What? I really like UFOs and have been searching for them since I was a little boy."

Ed sighed, this was going to be a long night.

.

Jacob was sitting on the footsteps leading to Hughes' home. "This time for sure…" He said, but he was too nervous. "Oooh, I shouldn't have had all those breakfast burritos…"

"Jake, it's you again." Hughes came up to him, his voice flat. "…This is the fifth time in a row that you've been to my house."

"Oh, I know, Hughes." Jacob said, but he couldn't quite figure out to tell him that he was in love with his daughter. "…Is Elysia here?"

"Yes…"

"Oh really, you mean it!?"

"Yeah, she's inside with her little friends."

"…"

"What's wrong?"

"DAMMIT!" Hughes jumped back, surprised by Jacob's sudden scream. As for Jacob, he stomped on the ground angrily, looking like a little boy who parents refused to give him ice cream before supper. "Will I ever get any time with her alone! EVER!?"

Hughes, baffled by Jacob's behavior, slowly tried to get pass by him and walk up to his home. Leaving the boy there to throw his tantrum.

"This is all your fault!" Jacob yelled, pointing his angry finger at Hughes. "YOU!"

"What did I do!?"

"NOTHING! But I need someone to blame anyway!" Jacob made weird heavy breathing noises, like he was a dragon about to burst fire. "My Elysia…" He whimpered. "Your Elysia!?"

"…Oops." Jacob looked up to Hughes, wide eyes and all, and he grinned. "Did I say 'My Elysia' No, no…I meant to say was…my…Gracia."

"My wife?"

"…Yes."

Hughes eyed Jacob suspiciously, walking up the steps to his home. "You know what, Jake." He said, "I don't think I'm very comfortable with you coming here anymore, please leave and never come back." With that, Hughes went inside his house, and locked the door behind him.

"…You think that's going to stop me?" Jacob said, "Oh no…I'll make sure I get to Elyisa, I will." That last part, you could almost be sure that he sounded like a evil demon from hell.

Author's Note:…I'm surprised I haven't gotten flames from Twilight fan girls yet…am I doing something wrong? Thanks for reading.