Chapter 10

"You know what we should do?" Bella asked me excitedly.

"Go to sleep?" I moaned. Somehow we ended up lying on my bed again, and we managed to do it without giving me an erection despite the way she was dressed; it had to be a miracle of some kind, and after being so evilly cursed for so long, I'd take whatever miracle I could get. Of course, it was hard to get aroused when you're sleep deprived…

"Do you know how much time is wasted when people sleep?" she said as she oddly started tracing my ear with her finger tip. "I heard the average person will sleep for twenty five years in their lifetime."

"What. Are. You. Doing?" I asked disturbed.

"You have really nice ears."

"Um…Thank you," I said, having no idea what else to say.

"As much as I'd love to lay here and stare at the side of your head all night, we should do something," Bella said eagerly.

I huffed, and then turned my head to look at her. "What do you have against sleeping? I mean, besides the wasted time and all. Sleep is important; it's the only way we'll have the energy to do all the crazy shit you like to do during the day. An occasional all-nighter is one thing, but I don't think I can do two in a row."

"Aw, you need your beauty sleep," she teased me.

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "Why don't you?"

"I told you, I'm an insomniac."

"Usually insomniacs are exhausted all the time, but they just can't fall asleep for whatever reason; you, on the other hand, never seem tired at all."

She bit her lower lip. "I'm actually pretty tired, I just hide it well….I get that from my mom."

"Yeah, but why?"

"Well…my mom...she always had really bad dreams, so she and I would stay awake for as long as possible until her brain was just too tired to conjure the nightmares. I guess I just adapted to her schedule."

"Well I think it's time to adapt to a new schedule; one where you sleep like the rest of the human population."

"I can't. If I try to sleep right now I'll lie awake all night, I have to be more tired."

"I don't think it's possible to be more tired than I already am," I grumbled.

"I know! Let's put on some music. Sometimes that helps."

I stared at her blankly.

"Oh come on, we can keep the volume down so we don't disturb your family," she insisted before jumping up and looking for a CD that she wanted to listen to. "This is perfect!"

A minute later a familiar beat filled the room…one that was nowhere close to being soothing.

"How is 'The Right Stuff' something that will help you sleep?" I questioned her.

"I'm just surprised you even have a New Kids on the Block album," she giggled.

"Alice bought it for me," I said defensively.

"Oh really, well it looks like it's been listened to quite a bit."

"It was a phase, I'm over it," I said sheepishly.

"No way, there's no getting over something like The New Kids. Come on, dance with me."

"Are you nuts?" I said incredulously. "I can hardly keep my eyes open; I'm not dancing….especially to this shit."

"Well what kind of shit would you dance to?" she asked impishly.

"None, I'm tired."

"Oh come on, I have a little energy left so I can't sleep yet. Just one dance and I'll be ready."

I growled out in frustration. "Babysitting quadruplets would be easier than hanging with you."

"Please," she begged.

"Look, I'm not a dancer, at least not a contemporary one. I like classical music, and…"

She gasped. "Do you know how to ballroom dance? I've always wanted to learn how to do that."

She didn't even give me time to answer; she just ran back to my stereo and put on Johannes Brahms. "Come on, just a few steps," she asked with her hands stretched out towards me.

"This is a Waltz," I told her.

"Great, come on," she said eagerly.

"Ugh, fine, but we're going to bed after," I insisted.

"Deal," she agreed.

I got off the bed, and briefly paused by the sight of her wearing nothing but my see-through white undershirt and her panties. Fuck, how the hell was I supposed to dance with her like that?

She started bouncing impatiently, which basically just made it even more difficult for me to move. "Come on, come on!" she pled.

I blinked out of my daze, and forced myself to move forward. If I just keep my eyes up, I should be fine – At least that's what I told myself.

"So, put your hand on my shoulder," I instructed, "and the other hand goes in my hand. Just remember to keep your shoulders down and chin up."

"Like this?" she asked unsure.

"Yep. Now, you're going to step back while I step forward," I told her, but because I wasn't specific about which foot she should step with, we ended up crashing into each other. "Whoa, sorry," I told her as we tried to recover ourselves. Then the giggles came. She started laughing so much that it was impossible to teach her anything.

The Waltz was a serious dance and it should always be taken seriously, but I couldn't help but giggle with her as we sloppily went through the motions again, and repeatedly failed miserably. We kept getting tangled in each other, and at one point when our lower halves brushed together, I became increasingly aware of her near-nakedness…and she definitely noticed.

"Oh my god, do you have a hard on?" she laughed.

The gentlemanly thing would have been to deny it and then break away from her to discreetly try to hide it in some way, but I figured that would have just made it even more awkward than it already was, so I thought – fuck it. "Yeah well, what do you expect when you're dancing around practically nude? Any straight man would get a hard on from that."

She laughed harder. "I guess you're not so tired after all."

"No, I'm fucking pooped, but like I said, I'm not gay." – I couldn't believe how audacious I was being with her, and it actually made me slightly bitter. I wasn't Emmett; I didn't talk like that, and I certainly didn't take such subjects lightly. What the hell was this girl doing to me?

She continued to laugh for a while longer, but my bitterness had quickly taken over and I decided to go lay down; if she wasn't going to sleep, fine, but I wasn't going to stay up a moment longer.

"Oh, you don't have to be embarrassed," she cooed playfully after I covered my face with my arm.

"I'm not embarrassed. I'm tired, and since you won't go to bed, I have to shield my eyes from the light," I grumbled.

"Alright, you win," she relented. She shut off the light, and then I felt her crawling onto the bed next to me, so I finally relaxed.

"Edward," she said after a minute.

"Ugh, what?" I groaned.

"You can touch me if you want to." - Just like that, I was wide awake and completely flabbergasted. When I couldn't find a single thought in my head, and no words came out of my mouth, she added – "We don't have to make it a big deal."

Touching someone intimately was a very big deal, and if I had my wits about me I would have told her that, but at the moment my brain wasn't working properly and all I wanted to do was take her up on her offer. Of course I wanted to touch her. Who wouldn't? My morals be damned, I wanted to touch her more than I ever wanted anything. In fact, if forced to make the choice between breaking the curse and reaching over and touching her in that way, I would have chosen touching her.

"Don't think," she whispered.

I couldn't think even if I tried. I rolled over to face her, and my hand automatically went there. It was like I was possessed or something; my body immediately detached itself from my mental control, and I was but a helpless victim of its tasteless actions. I could feel my hand gently caress up her slit over her panties, and then I helplessly watched as my rogue fingers slowly made their way to the elastic band on her inner thigh, and then they had the audacity to travel underneath. God I wished women wore chastity belts.

I had no idea how it happened, but suddenly Bella was naked and I was desperately trying to devour her as she attempted to get my clothes off. Two hundred years of endless hunger pains and extreme exhaustion was nothing compared to this new yearning. There was no going back at that point, but I did vaguely realize that I should have been more nervous, however there was no trepidation whatsoever… only eager anticipation.

It was all a blur, but the moment I pushed into her was perfectly clear. She whimpered softly, but then grabbed onto me tighter and urged me to continue. As strange as it sounded, none of it was strange. It was intense and almost animalistic, and absolutely nothing close to what the men in my family had described it to be. The awkwardness they warned me about during one's first time was nonexistent, in fact it was the exact opposite; I felt like I knew every inch of her body without ever having to physically discover it. It was familiar in a way I could have never expected, and yet it was the single most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.

I had no idea how long it lasted; like the rest of my life, time had no meaning, but for once I was ecstatic about it. When I felt her inner walls pulsating around me, however, I knew I was done for, and suddenly I had an overwhelming feeling of regret – I wasn't ready for it to be over, and I had an odd sense that our first time would also be our last.

I kissed her one more time, and then I laid next to her so we could both take a moment to catch our breaths and come to terms with what just happened.

It was Bella who broke first – "Wow, now I get why everyone is so obsessed with sex," she said with a light lazy laugh.

Uh... "Wait, you're a virgin?" I asked stunned.

She giggled. "No, I was avirgin," she corrected me. "Why does that shock you?"

"I thought you were all about living in the moment, and stuff like that. Why haven't you had sex before?"

She shrugged. "Never wanted to."

"But you were so casual about it?" I questioned like a moron.

"I have nothing against sex, but this was the first time I actually felt like trying it. You don't need to worry about it though, I've been on birth control since I was thirteen."

Uh… "Why?" – Not that I was worried anyway, the curse seemed to have made us all sterile.

"My mom's idea. She always told me sex was fun and a natural part of life, but babies tie you down, so better safe than sorry."

"That's an odd thing for a mother to say to her daughter."

"I understood. Having a baby wasn't part of her plan, and that's okay; she still loved me and took care of me, she just wanted to make sure I had it easier than she did."

"But she's not around you anymore," I said softly.

"I'm an adult now. She can finally do what she wants on her own," she replied, just as softly.

I brushed the hair out of her face, and then I leaned in and kissed her again. It suddenly became obvious to me that Rose was actually right about her, she was scared of something, perhaps even scared of a lot of things, but she masked it well and I couldn't help but hope that she'd eventually let me in enough to help her.

She ran her hands through my hair as our kiss deepened, and then her body rolled towards mine and her hips began rocking in a not so subtle invite - an invite I couldn't turn down, even if I wanted to. After climaxing again, I held onto her for a bit longer, and just like the first time, I had a terrible feeling that I'd never hold her again after I let go. When I finally loosened my grip on her, I was astonished to see that she had actually fallen asleep in my arms. The sight of her, perfectly content and relaxed, completely took my breath away, and I wondered how I would ever really let her go.

I laid awake for what seemed like hours, just staring at her beautiful peaceful face and trying to comprehend all the jumbled thoughts in my mind. I felt like there was something I forgetting, something I needed to do, something I neglected to say, but I couldn't quite grasp it and I had the agonizing feeling that I was about to lose something important as a result.

At some point I must have fallen asleep, and as surprised as I was to open my eyes to the bright sun glaring through my window, I was oddly not surprised to find myself alone. Of course Bella wasn't still there; she was far too restless to stay in one place for an entire night and through the morning.

I got up and dressed before heading down the stairs, hoping to find Bella forcing small talk with Alice, but instead I found Esme alone, humming to herself in the kitchen.

"Hey…have you seen Bella?" I asked awkwardly.

"Oh yeah, she left about a half hour ago…She didn't tell you she was leaving?"

"No, I just woke up," I said absently.

"Oh… Is everything okay?" Esme asked concerned.

"Yeah…I just thought she'd still be here."

"Oh, did you have plans today?"

"No, she never makes plans, but…" I let my sentence trail off, and wasn't exactly sure why.

"Why don't you call her then?" she suggested. "Make sure she's okay, and all."

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" I snapped, surprising both of us.

"Um, it's none of my business, but she seemed…different; a little off, maybe. She just wasn't the normal friendly Bella I've come to expect from her. She was a bit jumpy and…I don't know, detached."

"Okay, there is a very strong smell of sex coming out of Edward's bedroom!" Emmett announced as he came into the room, and then he spotted me and smiled wickedly. "Aww dog, you finally lost it, didn't you?"

"Fuck you," I said before turning around and going back up to my bedroom; I certainly wasn't in the mood for his shit right then.

I decided that following Esme's advice of calling Bella was a bit too forward…so I texted her instead.

E – Hey, where'd you go?

After waiting for a response for over an hour, I was about to text her again, but finally she got back to me.

B – Just felt like going home.

E – Is everything okay?

B – Fine Y?

E – You disappeared on me.

B – I thought we agreed to keep it casual? I wanted to go home, so I did.

Um… I was confused, but then again, when was I not confused when it came to her.

E – Okay. Are you going to come back?

B – I don't have any plans to.

My stomach twisted, and then I got a little angry and strangely started channeling Emmett…

E – Oh, I get it, a couple rolls in the sack and now you're bored with me. Nice. Well, fuck you!

The moment I sent the text, I regretted it. What the hell was wrong with me? Luckily, Bella didn't seem insulted.

B – Is that how it seemed? I'm sorry, didn't mean for that. I just knew you were getting irritated with me last night, and I didn't want it to be awkward this morning.

E – So…you left because you thought I didn't really want you here?

B – Maybe. I just don't want to be one of those psycho chicks that refuse to leave a guy alone just because they had sex.

I smirked.

E – I never thought that, and would never. I'd like it very much if you came back.

B – When?

E – Now.

B – Seriously?

E – I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't serious.

B – Okay.

I smiled triumphantly.

I took the quickest shower of my life, and then thought about changing my bed sheets since they definitely had a particular aroma that I wasn't used to, but that was when I heard Bella's truck pull up outside. I hurried down the stairs because I didn't want my family's intrusive stares making her feel uncomfortable, but somehow Alice beat me to the door.

"Hey, I didn't even know you left," I heard my sister say from the fore.

"Oh yeah, I had to shower and change," Bella replied in her usual carefree tone.

"Cool," Alice said, and then turned to look at me as I walked into their view. "Uh oh, what happened?" she asked me; she must have sensed the tension.

"Nothing," I said quickly before grabbing Bella's hand and leading her towards the stairs.

We didn't speak to each other on our way up, but because Emmett never missed an opportunity to heckle me, he popped his head out of his room just in time. "Wow Bella, back for more so soon," he said with a nod and a smirk.

"Fucking grow up, moron," I told him as we passed.

"Don't worry, I totally understand your urgency to get back to the bedroom," he called after us. "I used to get that all the time. Lucky bastard!"

When we finally made it back to the privacy of my room, I closed the door and fully intended to talk about whatever the hell made her take off the way she did, but the moment I turned back to her, she attacked me. Her aggressive kisses made it nearly impossible to do anything other than lift her up and pin her against the wall. My unexperienced mind had no idea what my body was planning, but I was pleasantly unsurprised when I somehow managed to thrust into her. I had no recollection of undoing my pants, or removing her panties; I couldn't even tell if she had any clothes left on at all, but my body knew exactly what it was doing, and damn was it amazing.

I never understood how my family members weren't as bitter about living forever as I was, but after experiencing physical ecstasy like that, I realized that I may have taken to eternity a little easier if I had someone to share it with as well. But I'd never have that, and my time with Bella could only be temporary - which she was quick to remind me of…

"Edward, promise me something," she said between kisses. Somehow we had made it to the bed, and even post climax we were still kissing like there was no tomorrow.

"What?" I managed to get out.

"Promise you'll tell me if you want me to leave you alone."

I kissed her one more time, and then pulled back so I could look at her. "Well technically, I did ask you to leave the first time you came into my room," I said with a light laugh at the end.

"That was different."

"How so?"

"That was before…when we weren't even friends yet, and you were in a sad reclusive state."

"Ouch," I joked.

"Everyone gets stuck in the slumps now and then, and I'm glad I was able to help you out of yours."

"You really are good at reading me, aren't you," I said with a smile.

She smiled back, but then became serious again. "You're a good guy, Edward, the kind of guy who would feel too guilty about taking my virtue to ask me to leave when you really want me to."

I honestly couldn't imagine ever wanting her to leave, but the truth was that I could never promise her forever either, so reluctantly I said "I promise…as long as you promise me something in return."

"What?" she asked warily.

"Promise you'll never leave just because you think it's what I want. If you really want to stop seeing me, tell me, otherwise trust my desire to keep you around."

She smiled, then bit her lip. "Okay, I promise….but I probably will be tired of you soon," she said playfully. "Or you'll be tired of me. These types of things never last long."

"These types of things? What type of thing is this?" I asked confused.

She shrugged. "I don't see a reason to label it."

I nodded once. "Fair enough."

She smiled and then started grinding herself against me again. "Come on, I'm not here for heavy conversations. Now, get fucking."

I laughed, I couldn't help it, and she laughed too, and that was pretty much how the rest of the day went. Laughing and fucking. It was nirvana.