Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Gabriel and his world belongs to me. I am not making any money from this.
Rating: M (for sexual situations, language and some heavy angst)
Pairing: Edward Cullen/Gabriel Dementia (OC)
Warning: This will be a SLASH story, which means a male/male pairing. If you do not like this type of thing or it offends you, then don't read it, I'm not forcing you to.
There are also themes of suicide, depression, 'sleeping around' and suggested incest (nothing graphic though)
Note: In this world, Bella does not exist, and she probably will never come into the story.
Summary: After Gabriel's father takes a bullet meant for him and dies, Gabriel's mother goes mad with grief and soon cannot tell the difference between her son and her husband. But in a sudden bout of madness, decides to kill herself and Gabriel by driving off a bridge; Gabriel survived, she didn't. Gabriel was in a coma for eight months, and during the coma he had a vivid dream of a family of vampires living in Forks. When he wakes up, he finds himself living with his aunt who works with a travelling carnival; but soon after telling his aunt about the dream, she decides that they move to Forks. Things get weird though when Gabriel starts to see his dead mother while awake and in his dreams, and he starts to become obsessive compulsive; not only that but he comes to realize that everything from his coma-dream is real.
A/N: Apologies for the lateness and shortness of this chapter... I've been super busy and I've been struggling with this chapter for a while, for some reason I was able to complete this quite quickly now that I'm on holiday. Chapters will probably be shorter from now on so I can update maybe a little quicker.
Broken Mind [Dreaming of Twilight]
Chapter 8
Gabriel
"I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel
I can love
But I need his heart
I am strong even on my own
But from him I never want to part
He's been there since the very start
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
Bless the day he came to be"
Lamb
Who's who
Gabriel: The main Character (Edward's love interest)
Sophie: Gabriel's aunt (psychic/gypsy)
Svetlana: Gabriel's psycho mom
Michael: Gabriel's dad who died.
*Previously*
Gabriel knew he wasn't a perfect person; he was selfish and inconsiderate at times, but he was only human after all. He knew he was too concerned with his own problems to care about how others must feel. Maybe, if Gabriel accepted Edward, if he let him in, he could finally forget about his problems for a little while and begin to care for other people.
If being with Edward would help him forget all of his dark thoughts and problems, then maybe he'd have a chance to heal, instead of dwelling in the past all the time and getting short fixes from his one night stands.
But could he do it? Could he let someone in? Would he be able to tell Edward all that had happened to him? Would Edward still want him after he told him? It was a risk, but if there was a small chance for him to heal, Gabriel would take it, even if there was a chance that he could be rejected and fall back into the dark depths of depression.
Gabriel had no idea how it would work out, he only hoped, prayed, that Edward would accept him; all of him.
Gabriel
A little while after the sun came up, and Gabriel could hear Sophie going through her usual Sunday morning routine, he took a few deep breaths and tried as hard as he could to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. Once he had convinced himself to the point where he almost believed it, he took one last deep breath with his eyes tightly shut, before snapping his eyes open and pushing himself up from the floor.
He swayed, light-headed from not eating and barely any sleep, but those things could wait; first things first, he needed a shower and to change his bed sheets; he hadn't changed them in almost three days!
He unlocked his door and took a quick shower, pulling out clean sheets and pillow cases while he walked back to his room with a towel wrapped around his hips.
He went through his usual routine of dressing and changing his bed sheets before heading downstairs and into the kitchen where Sophie was making breakfast.
"Morning Soph'," Gabriel greeted, heading for the fridge to find some juice.
Sophie started in shock but quickly regained her composure and beamed at Gabriel when he turned from the fridge,
"Good Morning Gabriel!" Sophie said enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear
Gabriel smiled softly at her before pouring himself a glass of orange juice
Halfway through breakfast, of which Sophie had gone all out on, Gabriel set down his knife and fork, took a sip of orange juice and looked over at Sophie.
"Sophie?" Gabriel asked tentatively
Sophie looked up quizzically, nodding for him to carry on
"You don't… by any chance… have the…" he cleared his throat awkwardly, "the Cullen's phone number?"
Sophie grinned happily and nodded her head, "Of course, it's written on a piece of paper next to the phone."
Gabriel nodded his head and took a deep breath, "Would you be able to… phone … and ask if Edward would be able to come over? I… I want to talk to him."
"Sure." Sophie said, leaning over the table to ruffle Gabriel's hair, "I'll call them straight after I finish eating 'kay."
"Thanks." Gabriel said shyly, trying to smooth his hair back down.
Gabriel had headed upstairs straight after he had finished eating his breakfast; not that he could eat that much considering his stomach was already full of angry butterflies. He needed to calm himself and remember that he was doing the right thing, so he entered his room and lit an incense stick by his door, and turned on his laptop so he could put some calming music on before he had his inevitable confrontation with Edward.
Gabriel was exhausted, but he couldn't find it in himself to get any kind of sleep before he spoke to Edward.
It wasn't long before there was a gentle knock at the door and Sophie let – Gabriel assumed – Edward inside.
Gabriel's heart began to race and his palms became sweaty, but he had to do this, he couldn't run away this time; he couldn't hide anymore. So he stood slowly from where he had been sitting on the edge of his bed, and awkwardly brushed nonexistent dust off of his pants. But before he could even start for the door, there was the lightest of knocks at his door, followed by Edward's soft voice.
"Gabriel?" Edward called gently through the door, "May I come in?"
Gabriel sighed, prayed to any deity that would listen – hoping this would end well – and replied to Edward's question with a simple, almost inaudible 'yeah'.
Edward opened the door slowly – unsure – and closed it behind him with a soft click. He smiled at Gabriel tentatively, not sure what was about to be said, but hopeful.
Edward was practically bouncing with excitement and anticipation; he was barely containing it from showing visibly while the silence went on for seconds, and then minutes. It was the longest few minutes he had ever experienced in his existence.
Finally, after much opening and closing of his mouth and failed beginnings of a sentence, Gabriel finally pulled himself together enough to speak.
"I wanted... to apologise," Gabriel began, while staring at his hands as he wrung them nervously, "for what I did on Friday... to you... what I said..." Gabriel lifted his head to look into Edwards eyes, "I also wanted to thank you... for everything you have done for me, even when you barely know me – I barely know you – and even after I so blatantly used you..."
"Gabriel..." Edward tried, but Gabriel just shook his head,
"Just, please let me finish..." Gabriel pleaded, and Edward nodded for his to continue.
"I am not perfect... I am broken – damaged – I am selfish and stained... and maybe just a little insane... but... if you are still willing, even after everything I've done and my many – many – flaws; I want to try, being with you." Gabriel looked away from Edward's eyes as his vision began to blur with tears.
"I'm sure from reading my mind you know what kind of disgusting per..." Gabriel was cut off by Edward walking forward and embracing him.
"On the contrary, Gabriel, I cannot read your mind." Edward whispered into his ear and Gabriel jolted in surprise, bringing his gaze up to look at Edward's face to see if he was lying.
"Not even when I am in such close proximity can I hear what you are thinking; I might get a flash of an image now and again, but nothing I can really understand. Even when I touch you, I cannot hear anything, only see just slightly clearer." Edward explained.
"So you ... don't ... know..." Gabriel said stunned, and then all the anxiety seemed so drain from his body and he sobbed, relieved, into Edwards chest.
"You'll have to tell me, or not tell me, whatever you want me to know, or not know... that's the only way I'm going to find what you have been through." Edward whispered calmly into Gabriel's ear while he gently rubbed his back comfortingly.
"So, you still want to be with me?" Gabriel asked with quite incredulousness, "You'll give me a second chance?"
Edward smiled into Gabriel's hair, "I don't think I'd be able to stop giving you chances Gabriel; you're stuck with me." Edward pulled away just enough to look at Gabriel's face and wipe the tears from beneath his eyes with his thumb, "The only way I think I'd ever be able to leave you alone is if you told me to."
Gabriel started crying again, and hugged Edward tightly around the waist. He was so selfish and horrible, Gabriel thought, how could he have landed with someone as perfect as Edward? It was beyond his understanding; but maybe, things would slowly get better for him.
Edward, after about half an hour began to feel Gabriel's arm slacken around his waist and looked down to notice he was on the verge of falling asleep where he stood; slowly and carefully, he pulled Gabriel's arms from around him and swept him up into his arms, carrying him like a child to his bed and laying him gently under the covers.
Gabriel's eyes slowly opened and looked at Edward, who was standing next to the bed, unsure of what to do.
"Lay with me?" Gabriel asked meekly, a little scared that Edward would reject his request; but his worries were for naught, because Edward just smiled a gentle smile before pulling his shoes off and lying on top of the covers next to him.
Gabriel snuggled up to Edward's side and nuzzled his nose into the crook of his neck. Edward, mean while was in bliss, on the verge of exploding from the sheer amount of happiness he was feeling, to be able to lye next to Gabriel as he slowly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
He brought his hand up to softly carded his fingers through Gabriel's hair, causing Gabriel to hum appreciatively in his sleep and to nuzzle into Edward's some more.
It wasn't until a few hours into Gabriel's much needed sleep that Edward noticed Gabriel slipping into a nightmare.
Gabriel knew he was dreaming, he recognised the signs; it didn't make it any better though, or more bearable.
He was having a dream of back when his mother was still alive; he hated these dreams, he always woke up feeling dirty and disgusting.
He mother hadn't come out of her room yet, and Gabriel was cooking supper for them, as he had been doing ever since his father's death. I stirred the pasta sauce lazily, while keeping an eye on the pasta which was just nearly finished.
He knew he should paid more attention to the entrance of the kitchen; his mother liked to sneak up on him; but he was so tired after a long day at school and his teachers' constant questions and concerns.
How was he doing? How was his mother? Would you like to have an extension on your homework? Where did he get the scratches on his arms and neck? Would he like to go home?
He knew they were only trying to help, but he really wished they would just stop.
He was too busy with the food to notice his mother sneak into the kitchen, and it was too late for him to react before she had come up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"Where were you, Michael? I missed you today?" She whispered into his ear, causing him to shiver in disgust; but there was nothing he could do unless he wanted her to get violent.
"I was at school mom. It's Wednesday." Gabriel said, trying to remind his mother that he was her son, but she just carried on kissing his neck.
"You don't need to go to school, I told you; you can just stay here with me okay." Svetlana said in between kissing and nibbling at Gabriel's neck.
"You know I can't mom, if I don't go to school they'll take me away from you." Gabriel said, he said it every time. If he didn't get away from her for just a little while by going to school – even if he didn't remember much during the day – he would probably go as mad as she was.
At Gabriel's words, his mother dug her nails into Gabriel's stomach, and held him even tighter; her nails were drawing blood, and he could barely breathe.
"Mom..." Gabriel wheeze, "mom... you're hurting me..."
Svetlana loosened her hold, and turned Gabriel around. "Oh I'm sorry my love, I didn't mean to hurt you. You know how I get when you say things like that." She lifted up onto her toes to kiss Gabriel on the cheek, "I don't know what I'd do without you."
Gabriel turned back around to turn the stove off; trying to distract himself from his mother; to dissuade her from doing anything more. Hoping that for once, she wouldn't want more; would finally realise that what she was doing was wrong; that he was her son.
But she never stopped.
Edward didn't know what to do. Should he wake Gabriel from what was obviously becoming a horrible nightmare? His decision was, however, made up for him when Gabriel started tossing about more violently, and moaning as if he was in pain.
Edward gently, so as not to startle Gabriel, shook him, trying to rouse him from his nightmare.
"Gabriel." Edward said softly, but when he still didn't wake, "Gabriel! Wake up!" Edward tried more loudly, a hint of panic in his voice.
Gabriel Bolted awake; his breathing harsh and a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. His eyes were wide open, his pupils dilated in distress. He took one look at Edward before launching himself at him, clutching at Edward's shirt tightly and burying his face in his neck; taking in deep lung-full's of Edward's smell.
Gabriel needed to get the smell off him; he needed to get that woman's smell out of his senses. His skin kept crawling at the memory and he wanted to scrub himself until his skin was raw and bleeding; he wanted to scratch it off. But he held on to Edward instead, breathing in his scent and letting his cold vampiric skin freeze off that woman's touch.
All Edward could think of doing was to pull Gabriel into his lap rock him soothingly while humming Strawberry Field Forever into Gabriel's ear; it was the first song he could think of and he remembered Gabriel listening to it the other day.
(2' 106 words)
A/N: And that was chapter 8, I hope it didn't suck too bad _ and I really hope I haven't lost too many readers.
It actually disturbed me a bit to write the dream scene in this chapter and it wasn't even that much! _
Anyway, I know I hate it when an author updates a story after who knows how many months and doesn't bother to remind readers of what happened in previous chapters; I read so many stories at one time that it's hard to keep up with all of them, I often find myself not carrying on with a fic just cause I can't remember what's been going on; I hope that's not the case with my story. I do hope my characters are a little more memorable than that _
Any reviews are welcome, as always ^_^ I need love - I'm depraved.
-Morgue Chan