Chapter 10

It would have been fine and romantic to say he spent a sleepless night without her at his side, Fin thought dryly, but the drugs had been good and getting shot really did take it out of you. He woke up around nine in the morning when the nurse came in to check his IV's, "Good morning Detective Tutuola," The pretty little blonde nurse smiled. "Rosita said I was to tell you that the drugs are your friend."

"She ain't wrong 'bout that," Fin gave her a weak smile. "Kept me sleeping and without my woman that's a chore."

"I'm the same with my husband," The nurse told him cheerfully. "The orderlies will bring you something to eat. I'll apologize for that in advance." She moved towards the window and opened the curtains, "I'm told you should be feeling a little better today. Would you like some help getting to the lavatory?" Her smile was dry, "I'm pretty sure you can handle things once you're in there, it's getting in the door that's the issue for most of my patients."

"I wouldn't say no to a strong arm," Fin had learned to admit when he needed help. Nobody liked a fool who made himself worse by turning down a helping hand. "Just until I get my legs under me. Ain't the first time I've been shot."

"Yeah I saw the scars earlier," The nurse commented but that was all she said and Fin was grateful to concentrate on getting out of the bed with at least some dignity and making it to the bathroom. At least they didn't put you in those stupid gowns with a slit down the back anymore, he thought with a mental eye roll. Personal business taken care of and back in the bed, and sitting up like a normal person instead of an invalid the nurse regarded put him through his paces, checking to be sure he wasn't having pain or loss of sensation in his arm or anywhere else. "You seem to be doing fine, though I'm sure when the doctor makes his rounds he'll have more questions," She noted a few things on his chart. "In the meantime, can I do anything for you Detective? There's a note here about a fiancée, would you like me to try and get in touch with her?"

"Nah," Fin shook his head. "Liv's a detective too, nobody knows we're engaged yet 'cept our boss an' my partner." He looked around, "Wouldn't mind if someone could hunt down my personal effects. Don't have my phone and that's what Liv would call."

"I'll hunt it down for you, or someone will," The nurse nodded. "I'm Debra and I'm on the floor all day today so if you need something just buzz." She ran him through the drill of the bed controls, the call button and pain meds button quickly and left the room.

By eleven Fin was going stir crazy wondering how Liv was doing and daytime television was not cutting it. He could only watch so many reruns of Gilligan's Island before he wanted to shoot the TV and ESPN was almost as depressing as CNN. The nurse, Debra, returned with a bag of things not long after he clicked the damn TV off, "Well I managed to locate your belongings," She smiled and brought the table over and put the bag on top of it. "They kept the bloody shirt as evidence I guess, but the rest of your clothes and whatever was in your pockets is in here."

Fin almost grabbed for the bag with both hands until his shoulder reminded him that wasn't a good idea, "You are the bomb." He told her. "Liv's at the doctor's office this morning; wanna make sure she's all right." He looked at his phone and tried to turn it on only to get the power down message, "And my crap phone's battery died." He sighed, "Thanks though Debra. I'll call her on the hospital phone."

"They sell chargers down in the gift shop," She told him sympathetically. "Maybe when your son gets here he can get you a charger and the newspaper?"

"Yeah," Fin sighed. "I appreciate it Debra. Thanks for the help." He put the useless phone on the table and began pulling out his wallet and keys, everything he'd had in his pockets besides the phone. His notebook was there and he began to write down everything he remembered about the shooting, wanting to get it down while it was relatively fresh in his memory.

He was deep into that task when Cragen walked in with Stabler, "Fin." The ex-marine greeted him, his smile slightly sympathetic. "Going stir-crazy yet?"

"More than you could possibly know," Fin groaned, "You two here to take my statement?"

"Everything you can remember," The captain nodded and both of them pulled out their notebooks.

Liv leaned her head back against the cab's headrest and looked at Munch, "Thanks John. For the escort and everything," She smiled tiredly, "I wouldn't be able to carry half of this stuff without your help."

"It's my pleasure Liv," Munch just smiled at her. "He's my friend too you know."

"I know," She nodded because she did understand. Fin and Munch might not act like it but they were closer than she and Elliot were. Maybe because like her, it was hard for them to let people in, and when they did, they didn't hold back. It had taken a couple of years for the two men to actually become friends, but now… John was as worried as she was. "I think he'll be glad to get his laptop or at least the charger for his phone. He must have been asleep earlier."

"Well seeing you will perk him right up," The older detective smiled. "Now what's the good news on the baby front?"

"I'm about a month and a half along…and now I'm really glad I gave up the caffeine," Liv admitted. "But she said I'm healthy and she didn't see anything that looked like trouble in my tests. She wants me to hydrate more and she gave me a prescription for vitamins, different than the preatals I've been taking. I figured I'd get that filled at the hospital."

"You two still aren't going to break the news until you're through the third month?" Munch was digging in the bag he'd brought and handed her a bagel and a bottle of water, "It's not toasted but it's the best I can do. I was reading last night that breads were good in the morning, they helped with the nausea."

"Yeah, that started up about five days ago," Olivia agreed. "My doctor said crackers and water, juice if I can keep it down. And the dizzy spells are because I went cold turkey on caffeine and the baby was taxing my system. The vitamins should help."

"You look a bit thin, how's your weight?"

Munch was acting like a mother hen with one chick, Liv thought with a smile, but she couldn't blame him, at her age, anyone acting maternal was nice. "She says I might be one of those women who just gain weight for the baby and don't put it on anywhere else, we'll know for sure in a couple of months. But she did warn me I need three squares a day, if not more. And to try and snack healthy, not a lot of salt."

"Then it's a good thing you'll be in the squad room with me and my array of healthy snacks," Munch grinned at her as he pulled out his wallet for the driver. Liv frowned and began to dig in her purse only to have him stop her, "I've got the fare Liv, you can get it later when we hit my pal in the diamond district."

"Deal," Olivia smiled as she grabbed her purse and one of the bags. Munch frowned at her but didn't object when she grabbed the light duffle from Fin's place. He had the laptop and associated electronics and the day's paper as well as Liv's bag from Fin's car. "Let's get all this up to his room before I even try to dig in my purse for that prescription."

The elevator was necessary but she still didn't like the vertigo it gave her, making her lean against John. Kenneth was waiting outside Fin's room, a worried look on his face that brightened when he saw her, "Liv." He wrapped her in a huge hug and relieved her of the bag she carried, "How are you?"

"Oh I'm dealing," Olivia was never sure what Kenneth thought of her. They'd been friendly before she and his dad had started dating but he hadn't expressed an opinion since then. "How are you?"

"The man has got to stop scaring five years off my life at a time or I'll be grey when I hit thirty," Ken told her with a half-smile. "I guess your partner and the Captain are taking his statement now."

"Sounds about right," Munch smiled at the twenty-something. "Liv if you want to go drop off that prescription I'll keep Kenneth company and guard Fin's precious belongings."

"I'll check and see if I'm even allowed to fill it here," Olivia hadn't thought of that in the cab. "Otherwise I'll just borrow a fax machine and send it to my drugstore." That took a few minutes and it turned out that no, due to flagrant abuse of the privilege only hospital physicians were allowed to have scripts filled at the hospital pharmacy. One use of the nurse's fax and a confirmation later and Liv was back outside Fin's door, just in time for the Captain to open it and regard all of them with resignation.

"Great," He sighed, "Well if you're not at the precinct at least you can keep Fin from climbing the walls."

"We bring the trappings of civilization," Munch called into the room and nodded his thanks as Cragen held the door open for them. Olivia had to stop herself from pushing past Fin's partner, and forced an easy smile onto her face as she entered the room to see Stabler still writing in his notebook while Fin looked bored.

"Man I know how to give a statement," He complained. "It's gonna take you longer to type it in than it did for me to tell you what happened. John, you tell 'em would ya?" His eyes lit up as he saw Olivia and that sweet smile just for she and John curved his lips. "Hey Liv, how you doin'?"

"I'm good," Olivia felt like it was true, seeing Fin more awake and alert, giving Stabler a hard time made her feel better than anything else. "But then I wasn't leaking blood all over the pavement less than twenty four hours ago."

"Then what's Johns excuse for looking like death warmed over?" Fin chuckled.

"Stay out of trouble Fin," Stabler patted his partner on the back as he left and Liv forced herself not to cringe. She didn't know why it was so bad when Elliot went to touch her, she was better with John and the captain, she could manage handshakes with total strangers. Maybe it was because Elliot thought he had the right to touch her, whereas John and the captain never assumed.

But she couldn't help the sigh of relief she expelled when Elliot left and it was only the four of them, all people who knew about she and Fin. She could sit on the edge of his bed and take his hand, let him tug her forward and kiss her. It felt like finally being home, to have his lips touch hers, even so gently. "How are you feeling really?" She asked him softly.

"Frustrated as hell," Fin's answer was so prompt she almost laughed. "They didn't get my stuff up here until almost eleven so my phone was dead. I didn't know how you were or what the doctor said." He tugged her closer so his good arm was wrapped around her waist and his left hand could hold hers, shifting sideways so she was leaning against him. It felt unbelievably good after the loneliness of the night before and the terror of the day's events before that.

She listened as John and Kenneth unpacked the bags, presenting Fin's laptop with a flourish that made her fiancé laugh. The three men were joking about everything she'd grabbed from Fin's apartments, his sweats and a couple of his old track suits as well as his jeans and buttondown shirts, "I didn't think teeshirts would be a good idea with his shoulder," She mumbled. "This way we can pull it over the immobile arm and put the other side on normally."

"I gotcha Babygirl," Fin's lips brushed her forehead and she sighed happily. "It's a good idea."

"Man is she actually gonna fall asleep?" Kenneth's voice was amused and amazed, "Didn't think my badass dad allowed his women to use him like a pillow."

"Liv ain't 'women'," Fin's voice sharpened slightly though it was a gentler than the tone he might have used on a stranger.

"Yeah, Olivia is your Dad's fiancée," John's voice was gentler. "But keep it under your hat for a while. Stabler doesn't know yet."

"Aw you know what I meant," Ken sounded like he was shaking his head. "I've never gotten to see you like this. And Mom…"

"Yeah I know what your mom says," Fin's voice had gone hard at the thought of his ex-wife. "Olivia doesn't see me the same."

"Couldn't possibly," Liv forced her eyes open and smiled as she looked up at Fin, "Teresa's not a cop. She's never seen him with a victim." His lips brushed over her forehead and she sighed in contentment. "I could stay right here for a few days," She admitted with a smile.

"I don't think Fin would mind though it would be interesting to explain your absence to Stabler," Munch remarked dryly. "I also thought you wanted to hit the jewelers this afternoon, I think what you said was, 'get the annoying part over with'."

"I did," Olivia agreed and made as if to sit up, only to have Fin's arm tighten around her waist.

"That doesn't mean you gotta leave now," He told her with a smile. "Tell me what the doctor said, how're you doing?"

So she told him everything, the vitamins she'd need, three meals a day, the onset of nausea and how far along they thought she was. When she summed it up by saying she was basically healthy and everything was proceeding normally Fin was grinning so hard he could have been a tooth whitening commercial.

"So you're all right," He confirmed. "And the baby's all right." Fin's hand squeezed hers gently and she smiled.

"I'm fine. The baby is fine. We're all fine here, how are you?" She teased her lover with a mischievous glance at Kenneth, a Star Wars fan from way back.

"Watch out or Stabler will send a squad up," Kenneth teased back sitting on the end of the bed while Munch took the chair.

"He's going to be awful when he finds out I've been lying about my boyfriend and worse when he hears about the baby," Liv groaned.

"Technically you haven't been lying," Munch reminded her. "You've said your boyfriend is a cop, that some of us have met him, and that you've been dating for four months, give or take." He shrugged, "Elliot hasn't paid much attention to how you are since before Sealview or he'd notice how you flinch whenever he touches you."

"Liv?" Kenneth's voice was confused and Liv sighed, "What's going on? What's Sealview?"

"We…your dad and I…" Liv began the story, telling it for the first time to someone other than her therapist, admitting that she'd nearly been raped. "Fin saved me when Harris had me cornered, when I was… well when being female worked against me. Smaller, not as strong, and terrified… He was going to…" She shuddered against Fin and struggled not to cry. "Fin got there before he could… he, he was going to- and Fin stopped him." Liv knew she was trembling, knew Fin hated how much this still hurt her, "Since then… if anyone touches me and I'm not ready…"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I've been getting help, obviously I'm still traumatized but… Fin's the only one who can touch me and I don't want to pull away. John and Captain Cragen aren't too bad and Kenneth you're usually fine, but Elliot…" Olivia looked at them and shook her head, "I told Fin I didn't want to be a victim, I couldn't stand to have any of you look at me like that, someone to be pitied and babied and coaxed along."

"We don't," John shook his head. "You think I'm that bad of a detective that I didn't notice how you'd changed? How Fin was the only one you relaxed around? I've been trying to run interference with Stabler for months but the man is amazingly bullheaded."

"He doesn't…see," Liv said quietly. "He already views me as a victim, because of my mother. That's why he's so overprotective. But he's used to touching, he's always been physical, and he thinks…"

"He thinks he has rights because he's your partner," Fin's voice was grim. "He thinks he knows what's best for you."

"Well to be fair, he always has," Munch shrugged. "But he hasn't noticed that you've changed. How long has it been since you've been to his house for dinner? You invite all of us regularly, and he comes with Kathy but its always the whole squad."

"I don't know," Olivia shook her head. "Maybe because of the things he said when Fin first joined the squad. How SVU wasn't a dating pool, that really stung because…"

"Because who else do we meet but cops, perps, victims and lawyers," Munch agreed with her. "I saw the look on your face when he said it. He didn't realize how insulting it was to you and Fin. But you invited us all out for drinks that night, made a point of it being for all of us and Stabler had to bail."

"Since then, I've just felt closer to you and Fin than I have Elliot," Liv admitted. "You don't judge me. I don't feel like a failure because I'm not married with a child already. I don't feel like I'm being criticized for living for the job most of my life." She looked up at Fin, "It probably helped that I thought you were one of the sexiest men I'd ever seen even in that awful track suit." She smiled as he grinned at her.

"I thought you were going to swallow your tongue when he finally wore a suit to work," Munch laughed. "He kept going for coffee and you couldn't keep your eyes off him."

"Hmm…" Olivia sighed, "You do look so sexy in your three piece suits babe," She told Fin with a smile. "I'm kinda glad that if you had to get shot it was only a shirt that got ruined."

"Yeah, waistcoat and jacket don't fit right over the bulletproof vest," Fin agreed. "Wore that suit on our first actual date. Hate to have it wrecked."

"By the way," Kenneth smiled. "Just wanted you to know Liv, you're good for him. I knew that. But now…well he's good for you. I'm glad." He rose and kissed his dad on the forehead, doing the same to Liv after a short look to be sure it was all right. "I've got to get going. We were headed back because they needed me at work. I'll come by tonight though, if that's all right, bring Alejandro maybe?"

"That'd be good," Liv loved hearing the affection in Fin's voice when he spoke to his son, affection he was no longer afraid to show. "Like him to meet Liv officially."

"Cool, we'll see you then," Ken gave them both a smile as he left

Author's Note: Argh! Well I warned you that I didn't quite remember what chapter John's POV was in. He should be in the next one.

I've had some complaints that Stabler is acting like too much of an ass. I actually read a story (unfinished) where Stabler murdered Liv so I think asinine behavior is relative to perspective. Stabler is a Catholic, an ex-Marine (though the Marines deny that there is any such thing as an ex-Marine) and he doesn't deal with change very well. He also doesn't deal with his emotions very well, he tends to close off and push people away.

Stabler is very protective of Liv, just like he is of his wife and kids, the difference being that Liv doesn't need to be protected. So he's going to need to adjust to what's going on and until he figures out how to deal with it he's not going to be the friendliest or happiest guy. Eventually I think he'll get it but his behavior is going to get worse before it gets better. Nothing arrest worthy but its going to take someone else making a few points before he really gets it.

It is a little cliché-ish I guess but I was taught that there are three types of conflict,

Man vs. Himself

Man vs. Others

Man vs. Society

We're getting mostly the first with only a bit of the last thrown in for seasoning. I wanted to touch on the issues interracial couples deal with, and according to a friend of mine its less Klu Klux Klan than it is everyone thinking they have the right to comment on your private business. The bitchy nurse's statement to Fin was taken almost verbatim from a friend of mine.

Wow, I did go on for a bit didn't I? Sorry, I hate long author's notes. Thanks for the read though and all the reviews, faves and follows. The feedback is totally appreciated.