Chapter 9

I woke up sometime well past dawn. I was amazed I had slept so well despite crying myself to sleep. I hadn't done that since before I phased for the first time. I walked to the mouth of the cave and jumped out. I swam to the beach I had the day before. Walking up I found a bit of drift wood an sat down propping my back up against it. The beach was empty except for a man further down throwing stick out into the water for his dog and a woman running along the edge of the water. It was peaceful. This was nothing like the Florida beaches I was use too.

I let my thoughts drift to my past or what I could remember of it. I sat digging my toes into the sand as I thought about the first day of my memory. It was June 24th 1988 the day after my 11th birthday. I woke up in a alley way behind a grocery store in pile of trash. I couldn't remember who I was or where I was. I was wearing a shirt covered in blood. I knew it wasn't mine I didn't have any injuries.

Over the years the few memories I had of my previous life that had broken through where always of a woman. She looked like me only older. The only one that ever seemed real those was one when I was really little.

I was in the back yard with a man with dark hair and brown eyes. His skin was a darker then mine, like he had a natural tan or something. He was swing me around in the air. I was laughing saying, "Again! Again! Daddy! Again!". Then there was a woman warning him with a laugh, " Joshua be careful you'll make her sick!" Her laugh was beautiful and light. She was gardening. The yard was filled with lilies of every color. Then came a knock noise. Like someone knocking on a door and the man carried to her and set me in her lap. He kissed her before saying, " I love you, Lilly. I'll be back later."

That was it. That's I'll I remember what I assume were my parents. I don't know what happened to them or what happened to me to make me forget them. The smell of lilies always made me smile. I was around 13 when I first smelled them and this memory came to me. I guess that's why at 15 I got a tattoo of a lily on my left foot. Its two leaves wrapped around behind my ankle. I had traded the tattoo for a bottle of pain pills. It had hurt like hell but it made me feel not so alone.

I reached down and traced the tattoo with my finger. The guy had warned me the colors would probably fade quickly but they hadn't. The petals were still a bright pink with yellow centers and the green of the leaves still green as grass. And just a beautiful since the day I got it. It looked just like the lilies she had been working on in my memory.

"What happened to you? Why can't I remember you?" I sighed aloud.

"When you are ready Little one your memory will return."

Signing again it was the same answer the voice always gave me when I asked myself that question. I sat staring out at the water for a while longer until women of the reservation started bringing their child to young for school down to play. I stood and walked into the forest. I undressed and phased. Scooping up my clothes in my mouth I trotted into the woods. Listening to the wolves as I did. I was now able to recognize everyone's voices without thinking about it first or waiting on a clue from the others.

Jared- " Man, Jake you got it bad. Skipping school so you can take Bella a birthday present." He drug out her name.

Jacob- " Shut the fuck up before I bit you!" The image of his present flashed through the connection.

Paul- " A dream catcher really? Dude your suck a fucking pussy"

Jacob- " Fuck you too. Don't the two of you have wood to chop for the bonfire/ secret welcome to pack Leah party?"

Jared- "Don't you have to get to class?"

Jacob - "I'm going beside first periods gym. We're playing football. Sam got the elders to excuse me and Embry from gym until we move onto a sport where we weren't tackling people. He's afraid we'll over do it or get pissed and kill someone, or worse phase in front of everyone."

Jared- " That's a good excuse its probably because how bad you to suck at it. He's probably afraid you'll embarrass him since he's 'leader of the drug gang'."

They all laughed through they're minds at what the public called they're group behind they're backs.

I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon listening to Paul and Jared thoughts and memories as they went about chopping wood for the bonfire tomorrow night. Which was secretly a way to introduce Leah to the pack, their families, and the elders as part of the pack. Most of the reservation would end up showing up though. According to their thoughts it was hard to keep a party a secret on the small reservation. An since they had been planning on having one this Saturday for the past two weeks even some of the "pale faces" that were friends with Bella would be coming. It wasn't often outsiders were invited to the private beach, but apparently Jacob had done so as a way to spend time with Bella were her leech boyfriend couldn't come.

Paul was excited because Bella's friend Lauren would be coming again and he was hoping for a repeat of the last time. I was careful to keep my question to myself this time as Paul accidentally relived the memory with Jared laughing at him the whole time. They stopped every half hour or so of chopping wood to make a loop around the reservation looking for signs of vampires and me. I actually had fun at one point letting them chase me when they caught my scent. However when they got to close I would just unphase and hide until they'd got frustrated and went back chopping wood.

When they left to go eat at Emily's and Sam's I followed and watched from the wood line. Her house smelled delicious. She was cooking up a storm for the bonfire tomorrow. My stomach growled at the smells. The hunger wasn't bad though or at least not for me. I was use to not eating but about once every other day to three days. I was use to hunger. It had been a constant companion since well I could remember. Their voices drifted out the window to me.

Emily sounded so well nice. I had seen her through the Paul and Jared's memories. They were worried about here since Leah was changing. She was like the packs unofficial mother. I had seen Paul's memory of how Emily had gained the scars on her face. He had been there when Sam lost control. Pity was not what I felt when I looked I saw the memory. The scars did nothing to diminish her beauty.

She seemed sad as she asked, " So Sam thinks she'll phased before the bonfire tomorrow?"

It was Jared that answered his voice muffled slightly, " Her fever started sometime early in the morning on Thursday. This is good Em. I was starving."

"I know how hard it is on all of you to watch someone else go through this. Be kind to her please. I know she's still hurt and upset over me and Sam."

"Em, she'll be part of the pack now. We may fight at times and call each other names but deep down we all care."

"But man is it going to be weird. Even weirder if that other wolf joins us and turns out to be a girl." Paul seemed completely shaken by the idea of a girl being a wolf.

"Thanks again for the food Emily but we have to get back."

" Yeah Thanks."

I heard the chairs rub the floor as they stood up. "Can you boys do me a favor?"

"Uh yeah sure Em, anything." Jared said

"Well I remember what Sam and Jacob said that the meeting the other night after you all found the….meal that wolf had. Can you take this ham I cooked for her out there?"

" You cooked a whole ham and you want us to just take it and leave it in the forest for he…the wolf? Paul was apparently not ready to accept I was a female like the rest of the pack.

"Well yes! I may not know her yet but that's no reason she should go hungry, Paul! She helped during that fight. I owe her a thank you and this is the only way I can say it right now! Now! Will you take it or not?"

"Yeah Em we'll take it but no promises this wolf will find it. We can't ever tell when she's in our minds."

"Thank you boys I knew I could count on you too. And no eating any of it!"

She smiled and waved them good bye from the front porch before disappearing back inside. I Could hear her humming to herself. I watched the two boy walked to the forest line. Paul carrying the ham. I couldn't believe this woman who I had never met as giving me food. They walked back to where they had been chopping up a dead tree. Discussing how whether not to actually try an giving me the ham for just let Emily think I had gotten it. I trotted along behind them. My mouth salivating at the thought of the meal. I was not going to give up the chance at a free cooked meal. They set it down on the ground a little ways away from the tree while they deliberated.

"Paul I can't lie to Emily when she asks." Jared whined, " Its just wrong."

"Yeah I guess I know what you mean. But you have to phase and talk to yourself about the damn ham because I'm not doing it."

"Look I seriously doubt I'll be talking to myself. She's been around all day. We've found her scent several times."

"Yeah which is freaky as hell that we're being stalked or studying like some science experiment. It pisses me off. And I'm not calling it a her until I see proof with my own damn eyes it's a girl!"

"Fine stay in denial but after tomorrow when Leah finally phases you'll have your proof girls can phase!"

Jared stripped and phased. My mind was suddenly filled with thoughts about the damn ham. How even though he just ate he wanted the damn thing for his self. But he'd feel guilty lying to Emily and he felt even more stupid thinking about the ham so I would know it was a gift for me from Emily.

Jared- "Your going to have to come get it if you want it. We're not carting it any further and you can a least come thank us for bring it."

I chuckled to myself of his thoughts and his comment to me. I decided I would go get it from them but only if I could get them to promise not to chase me again. There would be no harm in going to get it. And I did want to thank them and Emily for it. it's the most kindness anyone had shown me in a long, long time. I spoke then to Jared and watching him jump when I did was hilarious.

"I'll come get it on one condition."

"Uh What's that?"

" You don't chase me when I leave."

" We aren't chasing you to hurt you. Sam wants to talk to you."

" When the time is right I'll talk to him."

"Will you unphase?"

" Not a chance, but if you let me eat in piece and promise not to follow me anymore. I might be inclined to answer uh lets say 3 questions about myself."

"I cant promise not to follow anymore. That's a Alpha decision but I will promise we won't follow you this time."

" Fair enough."

I walked out behind them slowly. They were both facing the opposite tree line. The direction my last scent trail had ended. The wind was blowing into my face so I know they wouldn't smell me. Paul had assumed he made contact with and was stripping and phased completely ignorant to the fact I just got a good view of his naked butt. I couldn't resist I sat down about 20 ft from them and sent them both a view of Paul's butt. They both whipped around and starred at me. I could feel Paul's embarrassment through the connection in our minds.

"Damn your quiet!" Jared said with surprise

" When you don't have a pack to back you up you learn a lot of things to survive." I said.

I walked around them to the ham and laid down with it between my paws and ate. I heard Jared inform Paul of the deal we had made. True to Jared's word or because they were to stunned I was actually there I was allowed to eat the ham in piece. It was amazing. I couldn't remember eating anything so great before. It had been coated in honey and brown sugar by the smell. I ate every last bite of it except the small bone. I tried my best to not scarf it down to quickly due to my audience. Part of me was grateful they were there so that I was able to enjoy it longer then I would have if I had been alone. When I was finished I sat up licked my chops.

"Tell her thank you for me. That's the best thing I've ever eaten."

"Lot better then that buck Im sure." Paul seemed immediately sorry for his comment.

They had been thinking about the buck carcass despite they're attempts not to while I was eating. But they had also both thought to themselves I must really be half starved by the way I attacked the ham and being as close as I was to them they could tell how skinny I was. I might have been upset by this but neither felt pity I was half starved. They simply felt sorry they had someone to ensure they didn't starve. Jared was already thinking about bringing me food all the time if he could get Sam to agree to it.

"I'll forgive that comment this time Paul. I've been alone for along time. When you have no money or Emily to feed you. You eat want you can when you can. Its not as bad as you think. I still much prefer cooked food but you get use to it after a while. Its better then starving."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just have never been hungry enough to consider it." He lower his head in shame a bit.

" Alright deals a deal. You too need to get back to work so what are your questions?"

"Um what's your name?" Jared asked hesitantly

"I was afraid you asked that…. Seems everyone wants to know that. I don't have one I can remember.. Next?

"How can you not have a name?" Paul questioned.

"Do you really want to waste a question that's still not going give you an answer?"

Quickly Jared said, "Uh No. How about where did you come from?"

" Before I went through the change I was in Florida. I was in Missouri when I chased that group of bloodsuckers up here. I'm a nomad. I don't call any place home."

" Ok. You a girl?" Paul asked the question he secretly been trying to avoid asking.

" Yes. And that makes three. Tell Sam when I'm ready to talk I'll find him and your council can stop worrying. I would no more expose the pack then I'd expose myself."

With that I turned and trotted back into the forest ending my connection with them. In their minds the wood chopping was forgotten as they both quickly turned tail and ran to speak to Sam. They had Alpha orders to report any contact from me to him immediately.