LOVE FOOLS

The truth

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continue of flashback,2 months before Jacob went to Sweden

He hates her now, it's too late for me Bella thought

"Why are you crying, Bella?" asked Priya worriedly. Without answering anything she continued to weep.

"You are scaring me, Please tell me what's wrong?"

"I crushed his heart Priya, I literally killed him. I messed up everything. I lost him"

"Whom? What are you talking about?"

"I don't deserve anything. I don't deserve his love and care but he gave me those but I was so stupid that I pushed him away. I pushed him aside when he was offering me the most precious things that a wife expects from her husband. I lost him, I lost him forever" saying that Bella burst out crying

"I lost him Priya, I was so stupid. I am the most terrible wife ,no most terrible and pathetic woman on this Earth." said Bella

"You married Pranay Bhai's (brother)friend ,Jacob" stated Priya rather told to herself, as she heard all the matter Bella told her about her marriage ,crying.

"Priya, I didn't mean to hurt ..." said Bella completing finishing her tale before she could utter any other word; Priya slapped Bella right on her cheek as she could feel the pain of Jacob as she herself was in his situation few months back.

"Save it Bella, you have no idea how he felt. Do you know what he has gone through, I can clearly feel his pain as I myself was in his position before and after few months of my marriage? I too craved for my husband's love like the way he craved for yours." said Priya with a sad smile.

Bella looked at her shocked and confused.

"You asked me the reason why I wasn't in touch with you right?" asked Priya fuming.

Bella nodded her head for her to continue.

"My husband loved a girl before our marriage. Though it was one side love; he tried his best to marry her. But she married someone else before he got a chance to propose her. Once my marriage got fixed with him, he used to call me frequently but I could feel some hesitation in his voice."

"One day, he told me everything. After listening to it, I was scared and sad but he assured me that he decided to move on his life with me and is ready to give our marriage a chance. After my marriage, I moved to Australia with him. He used to be distant with me and sometimes ignored me stating office work as an excuse. At first I was sad seeing his indifference, nobody was there to share my feelings as I was all alone in some other country. I didn't lose hope.

I tried to understand him and totally gave my time to him, and slowly he started to change and reciprocated my feelings. Now I feel that I'm at least lucky as my husband shared his past with me and asked for time but you instead of talking to him you just ignored him and after doing everything how can you simply say that you didn't mean it, huh?" shouted Priya angrily.

Bella bended her head in embarrassment and tears were flowing down her cheek.

"I never thought you could turn out like this, a heartless woman. Tell me, if you want divorce then why the hell did you marry him? Huh? How could you ignore that poor guy, Bella?" questioned Priya, as her heart wrenched imagining Jacob's condition.

Seeing her so broken, Priya couldn't help but pity her friend . She calmed herself and decided to hear out her friend's version first instead of judging her.

She knew that Bella is not a person who ignores another person's feelings, there must be some reason behind her behaviour.

She let out a sigh and turned to her friend.

"I know you better Bella, What happened? What made you behave this way?" asked Priya at last slowly.

"I will tell you everything Priya; I'm tired of keeping my feelings to myself. I too need a person to share my feelings and a shoulder to cry on. "said Bella wiping her tears.

"Good then, tell me what happened?" asked Priya taking Bella's hand into hers and squeezed it a little.

"From where do you want me to start?" asked Bella sadly.

"First answer me, what happened to your love?"

"We broke up"

"Oh, do you still love him?" asked Priya cautiously.

"What?! No" shouted Bella hearing her question.

Priya looked shocked at Bella hearing her answer, she thought Bella would say 'yes' as she is asking for divorce because of her love.

"But you said to Jacob that you still love him?" asked Priya shocked at her different answers.

"I lied to him, thinking that he will be happy with some other girl." said Bella with a humourless laugh.

"What! But why?" asked Priya confusedly.

"We broke up almost a year back; in fact it was never love. Only few love stories which were started during college will last long, after finishing college, we came to our senses. I agree that I liked that guy during college but it was never love and I don't want to remember that anymore."

"Okay, what happened after your break up?"

"After few months, my parents decided to get me married but I didn't agree to their idea. They both tried a lot and convinced me to move on in my life. I didn't agree to their idea not because I was in love with my EX but because I had lost trust on the word ' LOVE'. I thought no guy can love a girl selflessly. But you know my parents, though they love me unconditionally when it comes to things like marriage, they prefer doing according to their decision. After few months of pestering from them, I finally agreed to have a look at the marriage proposal which they showed more interest.

There was a guy named Edward summers, a very distant relative of mine, our common relative asked my father to consider that match. A well educated, good earning person and settled in USA.

My parents were very impressed with his profile and immediately arranged a meeting for us. His parents also liked me and soon the engagement date was fixed. My parents were so happy and I was happy seeing their happiness. I slowly started accepting the new changes and got ready to welcome the new life. But..." paused Bella and closed her eyes.

"What happened?" asked Priya.

"The day before the engagement, Edward came to my house with his parents unexpectedly. He came to know about my love story in college and accused us for keeping it as a secret and shouted on me and my parents for trying to play with his life. They told us that they were not ready to make me as their daughter-in-law. My parents were humiliated in front of my relatives, Priya" said Bella and burst out crying remembering the humiliation.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't knew that you were going through a lot in your life at that time" said Priya sadly.

"They called me very mean names Priya, I agree I liked that guy during college but you know that I never went out with him alone. I just used to talk with him in college. Is it sin to like a guy?" asked Bella crying.

"No Bella, It is not wrong to have a liking. Moreover you never crossed your limits with him."

"You know Priya for the next few weeks; we became hot topic among our relatives. It was very hard for my parents to see my relatives indifference. After everything was settled dad again started to look for a guy. I didn't agree but they didn't listen to my words. They arranged a meeting with the guy's family and when elders left us to talk in private I told him about my college love and also about Edward Summers because I don't want my parents to get humiliated like before but the guy rejected me as he doesn't want a girl who has past .

The same thing repeated for the next two proposals. When my parents asked the last guy to tell the reason for rejecting me, he told the same thing which I told him. My dad was so angry at me for revealing those things to them. My relatives started their taunts that I will remain unmarried and in addition to that they started spreading rumours among our relatives and friends. This started to impact my dad's health." said Bella and burst out crying again .

Priya just hugged her and rubbed her back to console her.

"Few weeks later, Jacob's family came to see me. He didn't talk to me personally that day when he came with his family.

I thought he didn't like me as he didn't even say a hello during their stay. But next day we got a call from his mother that it was a 'yes' from their side. I was shocked while my parents were on cloud nine hearing the news as before inviting them to our house my dad inquired about him and got to know that Jacob is a very nice guy. I told my mom that I first want to tell him everything; she didn't agree which made me to argue with her.

For two days, mom didn't eat anything and continued to give me silent treatment. Finally having no other choice I decided to say 'yes' to this proposal and then thought of telling Jacob about everything bu. My Mom took a promise from me not to talk about anything about my past with Jacob. Soon our engagement was conducted. All this happened suddenly one after the other within months "said Bella

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what you have gone through. Were you happy with the engagement? Did your parents force you into this marriage?" Priya asked with concern .

"No Priya, they asked my opinion after Jacob family conveyed their consent to us. I told them that after knowing everything if he still wants to marry me I said that I'm fine with it. But my parents didn't allowed me to do that . They were scared that if Jacob gets to know he too will back off from this marriage. I didn't agree but my mom, she ...begged... me Priya, begged me... not to open my mouth in front of his family. She made me shut my mouth with that promise." said Bella hiccupping.

"How can your parents do that Bella?" asked Priya angrily, hearing Bella's sufferings.

"Don't blame them Priya, what can they do? They were scared and worried about their daughter's life. My silly college infatuation destroyed their peace of mind. On top of that my relatives were poking them with their questions. My mom thought that by taking promise from me there won't be any trouble but that promise itself created a big problem in me. There is nothing wrong in that, is there any? "questioned Bella.

"Oh Bella, even in this situation you are not even blaming them but instead you are supporting your parents. I know you were never a person who hurts the other person intentionally. Though we were in different branches during college, this quality of yours got us close and made us best friends." said Priya smiling lightly to which Bella gave a weak smile.

"If you agreed to this marriage without any force. Moreover you don't love anyone, then why Bella? Why did you ignore Jacob?" asked Priya confusedly as she is not getting the proper reason for her behaviour towards her husband.

"The reason is my guilt."

"What, guilt? For what?"

"After our engagement, Jacob used to call me frequently. Within few days I understood that he is a nice person, by the way he talked to me on phone. At first I was hesitant to talk with him freely because though I was engaged to him but still he was a stranger to me.

That night when we went to party ever family member of his friends spoke very high about him. I felt even more guilty for ignoring him and also for not giving him the happiness as a wife which he deserve the most ; at that time I decided to make him happy. After coming home, he kissed me and I too responded to that kiss as I was dying to show him my love. While kissing I don't know why but I got the flashbacks of that Edward summers humiliating me and my parents in front of my relatives but instead of Edward summers I saw Jacob humiliating me and accusing me of cheating him.

Tears formed in my eyes unable to stand in front of him, I pushed him and rushed into the washroom. I cried a lot in the bath room for not able to forget that incident and cursed my fate for bringing me into his life. When I came out he was not there, I searched everywhere in the house but I didn't find him. I picked up my phone to call him but stepped back thinking what will I talk to him if he lifts the phone, do I even have a right to ask his whereabouts?" asked Bella crying badly.

But as the days passed, he always tried to get to know me and shared about the things which were happening in his life. Slowly guilt started too crept within me, as he started sharing everything with me. I was hiding the most important thing from him which is very much needed for him to know. I was scared that he will stop the wedding if he comes to know anything about me from anyone. Lucky or unlucky I don't know, our marriage was completed without any chaos.

First three days, I didn't let a chance for him to get close to me, I know that he was trying to spend time with me but what can I do, I was not ready for that. sometimes I felt like he loves me but immediately I pushed away that thought because I felt that he can't love me without knowing me completely .He understood me and gave me time. From that day, I saw a wonderful person in him. I tried a lot to get to know him but every time I failed miserably and felt guilty of cheating him by not telling truth to him.

I wanted to confess him everything but that promise made me shut my mouth. Without telling him everything I couldn't accept him as my husband completely Priya and at the same time I was not at peace thinking about the incidents which will happen after he knows the truth." said Bella with fresh tears forming in her eyes.

"I understand Bella but thinking about it didn't get you anything. You could have tried to forget that and move on in your life with Jacob. Tell me one thing, is it only guilt that you feel about him? Didn't you fell in love with your husband, Bella?" asked Priya after listening to everything few minutes later.

"Humph...N...No I just respect him and l...li..ke him, as he is a nice person." replied Bella stammering, not meeting Priya's eyes.

Priya didn't miss Bella avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, is it? If you just respect your husband then why did you respond to his kiss Bella? Look into my eyes and tell me" asked Priya holding her chin and looking into her eyes.

"That...it was. .. " stammered Bella making Priya smirked at her.

"I know Bella; if there was not love you wouldn't have let him touch you. You can fool your parents, your husband but not me. You never let any other guy touch you not even shake a hand, I observed this in our college functions. Don't try to fool me, Bella. You love your husband, don't you?" asked Priya smirking holding Bella's arm.

"Yes, I love him with all my heart." Bella whispered which made Priya smile victoriously.

"Then why are you hiding your feelings, Bella? You knew that your husband is a nice man and you fell in love with him. Then why are you trying to divorce him and what is all this Bella? By doing all this, what do you want to achieve?" asked Priya confusedly.

"Because I very well knew that I don't deserve him" said Bella painfully and closed her eyes letting her tears flow down her cheek. She was trying hard to control herself.

"Are you nuts?"

"You can't understand Priya, I know you think that it doesn't make sense but that is the truth. " declared Bella.

"Then make me understand"