Chapter 10-Death rides, on Wings of Darkness
I arrive, back, shortly before dawn. I collapse, in the corner, shaking ever so slightly. The shock of what I have done reverberates though my soul, yet I cannot deny, a small part of my pain, has eased, and vanished. Why dose the crimson blood, sooth me? Why dose it calm, the fire that burns me so? I continue to shake, closing my eyes. I don't sleep, I just sit there, for hours on end. The sun rises, but the beams of light and warmth, do not penetrate my corner, nor my heart. I ignore everything, only the sound of my beating heart I can here. Darkness, shadows, overwhelming. The morning passes, as dose the afternoon, and evening, and Finlay I rise, as dusk starts to fall. I here footsteps, I knew he'd come.
Sigma:"You hesitated. But all the better. They know, A DigiDestined stalks them."
I don't look at him. I don't want to. I walk to the window, and see we are somewhere else. I grasp my D-Tector.
"I killed them."
Sigma:"Your pain, it eased. I felt it, Shadow! I felt you.."
"Shut up."
He stops, and looks at me, he should strike me down, for that, I think. But he dose not, he just watches me. Finally I can't take it any longer. I must let the cool darkness embrace me. I Spirit Evolve, to Duskmon, and turn my back on him.
Sigma:"Tell me, Shadow. Did you enjoy it?"
My eyes narrow, I still don't answer.
Sigma:"Afraid to let yourself enjoy it? There pain, you caused it. YOu have power to cause such."
My eyes flicker, I remember that night. Jack..the way I tortured him, before I killed him. The way I enjoyed it. Sick.. How could I? But..it was better then feeling pain, even if it was for just a short while. I don't understand, how I could enjoy my friends...my ex-friends pain. How I .."
"S...."
The shadows, start to cover my eyes, the blackness, I know is soon to follow. Sigma laughs, and I feel myself transforming to Velgmon. No, not now..but, it was to late.
A hellish scream, a flash of intense light. Darkness, then a flash of lighting. I feel the cold night wind on my wings, I look down, I know what I will see. Destruction. The ground is scared, ruined. Marked by Velgmon. And in the middle, of such destruction, lies a body. Another DigiDesteind. Velgmon has had its prey, this night. I swoop down, unable to stop myself. I must see, who I have slain. Lighting flashes again, and the face, is illuminated. EternaL lies on the ground, his eyes are closed, and no breath rises from his chest. I land, transforming to Duskmon. I stand at the edge, of ruin, and stare. My thoughts are dark..another part of my pain seems to vanish, but in a way, whats left seems to grow in intensity. My body throbs, burns. So deep is my thoughts, I fail to here footsteps behind me. Until a voice speaks.
"EternaL..." The voice says, the pain, evident. I turn and see Kazin. Kazin..Why him? Why must it be him? The only one worse, to face right now, would be Dave, himself. Kazin's eyes move to mine, he stares. He must know its me. Or dose his heart deny, what his brain trys to tell him?
Kazin:"Who are you?"
I don't answer. Why dose he ask the question? Who else could I be? I don't answer. I can't speak. I look at him, he grips a D-Tector. By his side, approaches a Armadillomon. He should attack. I should attack. But nether of us, move. Thunder booms in the sky, and I just stare at him. Its time. They deserve to know, who hunts them in the night. Who stalks them from the shadows. Who will destroy them, to ease their own pain. They deserve to know. Lighting flashes across the sky, when it fades, I am Duskmon no longer. Kazin's eyes fall, and he drops his SupremeDigivice, his hands are shaking. He looks at me, pain and anger, reflected in his eyes..and unbelief.
Kazin:"No. This is impossible. Jen-Chan, would never do anything like this."
I don't answer. I can't seem to find words. I hold up my D-Tector, ever so briefly. A strand of hair, falls over my eyes, as Kazin continues to stare at me. He trys to speak, but no words come. What words can be said? I look at him, once more, and turn my back on him. He should pick up his Digivice. He should strike me down, but he moves not a inch. I here him sigh, filled with anguish.
Kazin:"Jen-Chan..."
He has accepted the truth. I knew it would not take him long. I start to walk away, he dose not follow.
"I am lost. Forevermore, the lost one. My heart, has fallen to darkness. I am not, the Jen you knew. Nor shall I be, ever again."
I can think, of no other words to say. What can I say? How can I explain, what I have become, what I am still becoming. How can I say, that I wish it this way, for the pain within me, is to great to bear. I grip my D-Tector, Transform to Velgmon, and leap into the air. I fly off, not looking behind me.
I fly as far away from Kazin,from the carnage i created as I can. I fly for hours, then stop, and land on a large rock. I look at the horizon, just a few short hours before the dawn. I change back to Jen, sitting on the cold rock. I clench my eyes shut, but no images come.
"Why can't I REMEMBER??"
Only flashes, brief glimpses come to me, after blackouts. After Velgmon. But this time, even brief glimpses, fail to revel themselves before my eyes. I never wanted to remember what happens..before. Velgmon.. Darkness... What I do when I am Velgmon.. I do not wish to think about. But now, here, I want to know! I want to fully see, what monasteries I commit when I loose myself completely to darkness. EternaL.. He was my friend. I destroyed him. Velgmon did, and I could not even remember the slightest bits of this. I sit there, shivering in the cool predawn air. I feel more lost, then ever. I await the darkness at the end of the tunnel. The release of emotions, of pain. If I become a demon, will my pain vanish? Will my memory's cease to haunt me? Is what Sigma, who I should hate, says, true? He is a demon. He seems to feel no pain. He seems to feel no humanity. It seems so much easer.. I just can't bear this pain much longer. But the end of the tunnel, to reach I must first become a monster, then a demon. I am a monster.. I am becoming a monster. I have slain DigiDesteineds. I have slain friends. With my own two hands, with the blades of Duskmon, with the wings of Velgmon. All my forms, were covered in crimson blood. Sweet, and sour. Sweet, for it eases the pain within me. Sour, for it causes the remanding pain, to deepen. My guilt grows. But the darkness, within me, keeps me hunting. Keeps me spilling the blood. The darkness at the end of the tunnel. Its my only salvation. The only way to end my pain. The only way to be free of it. Humanity. Am I so ready to loose this? But yes..how can i not, when its caused me such pain? Yet, if I am ready, why did I not kill Kazin!? Why?? These thoughts plague me, as the sun slowly rises. I close my eyes, not moving, just sitting. My soul is troubled. But I still am cloaked in shadows. I still seek the darkness. A end to my pain.I will seek the end of the tunnel. Its the only way.
I arrive, back, shortly before dawn. I collapse, in the corner, shaking ever so slightly. The shock of what I have done reverberates though my soul, yet I cannot deny, a small part of my pain, has eased, and vanished. Why dose the crimson blood, sooth me? Why dose it calm, the fire that burns me so? I continue to shake, closing my eyes. I don't sleep, I just sit there, for hours on end. The sun rises, but the beams of light and warmth, do not penetrate my corner, nor my heart. I ignore everything, only the sound of my beating heart I can here. Darkness, shadows, overwhelming. The morning passes, as dose the afternoon, and evening, and Finlay I rise, as dusk starts to fall. I here footsteps, I knew he'd come.
Sigma:"You hesitated. But all the better. They know, A DigiDestined stalks them."
I don't look at him. I don't want to. I walk to the window, and see we are somewhere else. I grasp my D-Tector.
"I killed them."
Sigma:"Your pain, it eased. I felt it, Shadow! I felt you.."
"Shut up."
He stops, and looks at me, he should strike me down, for that, I think. But he dose not, he just watches me. Finally I can't take it any longer. I must let the cool darkness embrace me. I Spirit Evolve, to Duskmon, and turn my back on him.
Sigma:"Tell me, Shadow. Did you enjoy it?"
My eyes narrow, I still don't answer.
Sigma:"Afraid to let yourself enjoy it? There pain, you caused it. YOu have power to cause such."
My eyes flicker, I remember that night. Jack..the way I tortured him, before I killed him. The way I enjoyed it. Sick.. How could I? But..it was better then feeling pain, even if it was for just a short while. I don't understand, how I could enjoy my friends...my ex-friends pain. How I .."
"S...."
The shadows, start to cover my eyes, the blackness, I know is soon to follow. Sigma laughs, and I feel myself transforming to Velgmon. No, not now..but, it was to late.
A hellish scream, a flash of intense light. Darkness, then a flash of lighting. I feel the cold night wind on my wings, I look down, I know what I will see. Destruction. The ground is scared, ruined. Marked by Velgmon. And in the middle, of such destruction, lies a body. Another DigiDesteind. Velgmon has had its prey, this night. I swoop down, unable to stop myself. I must see, who I have slain. Lighting flashes again, and the face, is illuminated. EternaL lies on the ground, his eyes are closed, and no breath rises from his chest. I land, transforming to Duskmon. I stand at the edge, of ruin, and stare. My thoughts are dark..another part of my pain seems to vanish, but in a way, whats left seems to grow in intensity. My body throbs, burns. So deep is my thoughts, I fail to here footsteps behind me. Until a voice speaks.
"EternaL..." The voice says, the pain, evident. I turn and see Kazin. Kazin..Why him? Why must it be him? The only one worse, to face right now, would be Dave, himself. Kazin's eyes move to mine, he stares. He must know its me. Or dose his heart deny, what his brain trys to tell him?
Kazin:"Who are you?"
I don't answer. Why dose he ask the question? Who else could I be? I don't answer. I can't speak. I look at him, he grips a D-Tector. By his side, approaches a Armadillomon. He should attack. I should attack. But nether of us, move. Thunder booms in the sky, and I just stare at him. Its time. They deserve to know, who hunts them in the night. Who stalks them from the shadows. Who will destroy them, to ease their own pain. They deserve to know. Lighting flashes across the sky, when it fades, I am Duskmon no longer. Kazin's eyes fall, and he drops his SupremeDigivice, his hands are shaking. He looks at me, pain and anger, reflected in his eyes..and unbelief.
Kazin:"No. This is impossible. Jen-Chan, would never do anything like this."
I don't answer. I can't seem to find words. I hold up my D-Tector, ever so briefly. A strand of hair, falls over my eyes, as Kazin continues to stare at me. He trys to speak, but no words come. What words can be said? I look at him, once more, and turn my back on him. He should pick up his Digivice. He should strike me down, but he moves not a inch. I here him sigh, filled with anguish.
Kazin:"Jen-Chan..."
He has accepted the truth. I knew it would not take him long. I start to walk away, he dose not follow.
"I am lost. Forevermore, the lost one. My heart, has fallen to darkness. I am not, the Jen you knew. Nor shall I be, ever again."
I can think, of no other words to say. What can I say? How can I explain, what I have become, what I am still becoming. How can I say, that I wish it this way, for the pain within me, is to great to bear. I grip my D-Tector, Transform to Velgmon, and leap into the air. I fly off, not looking behind me.
I fly as far away from Kazin,from the carnage i created as I can. I fly for hours, then stop, and land on a large rock. I look at the horizon, just a few short hours before the dawn. I change back to Jen, sitting on the cold rock. I clench my eyes shut, but no images come.
"Why can't I REMEMBER??"
Only flashes, brief glimpses come to me, after blackouts. After Velgmon. But this time, even brief glimpses, fail to revel themselves before my eyes. I never wanted to remember what happens..before. Velgmon.. Darkness... What I do when I am Velgmon.. I do not wish to think about. But now, here, I want to know! I want to fully see, what monasteries I commit when I loose myself completely to darkness. EternaL.. He was my friend. I destroyed him. Velgmon did, and I could not even remember the slightest bits of this. I sit there, shivering in the cool predawn air. I feel more lost, then ever. I await the darkness at the end of the tunnel. The release of emotions, of pain. If I become a demon, will my pain vanish? Will my memory's cease to haunt me? Is what Sigma, who I should hate, says, true? He is a demon. He seems to feel no pain. He seems to feel no humanity. It seems so much easer.. I just can't bear this pain much longer. But the end of the tunnel, to reach I must first become a monster, then a demon. I am a monster.. I am becoming a monster. I have slain DigiDesteineds. I have slain friends. With my own two hands, with the blades of Duskmon, with the wings of Velgmon. All my forms, were covered in crimson blood. Sweet, and sour. Sweet, for it eases the pain within me. Sour, for it causes the remanding pain, to deepen. My guilt grows. But the darkness, within me, keeps me hunting. Keeps me spilling the blood. The darkness at the end of the tunnel. Its my only salvation. The only way to end my pain. The only way to be free of it. Humanity. Am I so ready to loose this? But yes..how can i not, when its caused me such pain? Yet, if I am ready, why did I not kill Kazin!? Why?? These thoughts plague me, as the sun slowly rises. I close my eyes, not moving, just sitting. My soul is troubled. But I still am cloaked in shadows. I still seek the darkness. A end to my pain.I will seek the end of the tunnel. Its the only way.