A/N: In response to a question I've received a few times – No, I don't have a complete outline of this story. The only part that I have down for sure is the ending. Since the beginning of this story, I've known exactly how I want it to end, and it's highly unlikely that will change. Everything else happens as I think of it ;) And this is the 10th chapter! I never thought I'd have the motivation to keep writing, but all of the positive reviews you guys leave are amazing!

I own nothing.

EPOV

Clank. Bang. And… shattering? Is that glass?

I'm startled awake in the chair I've been using as my bed for the last few days. I look around and notice that it's light out. But more importantly, I notice that I'm alone.

Jasper didn't… he couldn't… did he leave me?

Remembering the sounds I heard just moments ago, I rush out of my room and head downstairs. I enter the kitchen to see Jasper leaning against the counter for support while several pans and broken glass lie around his feet.

"Um, hey there," Jasper says, grinning sheepishly.

Nothing else matters at that moment when I see him smile again, the smile I thought I had lost forever.

But then in the next moment I'm reminded that he should be in bed when he groans in pain.

I grab a broom and sweep up the broken glass around him, leaving the pans for later.

"What are you doing down here Jas? You're supposed to be resting! You could've made your injuries worse! The doctors said you need bed rest…" I trail off and stop when I notice him staring at me with a huge grin on his face.

"What?" I ask, confused. I also want to know what it is that's making him smile so much so I can do it again.

He's hurt and should be in bed. Stop thinking about pointless crap like that.

I make a mental note to… mentally yell at my brain for interrupting my happy thoughts… mentally.

"You called me Jas," he says, still staring at me.

"Yeah well that's your name isn't it?" I mutter, remembering my answer to why I didn't call him Jas last week. I'd call him Jas forever if that's what makes him happy. "I take it you like that nickname then?"

"Actually I hate it."

Oh.

"Except when you say it. Then I love it."

Oh. What? I don't get it.

I'm thoroughly confused now and drop the subject. I turn around and start to pick up the pans now scattered on the floor. "What are you doing down here anyway?" I ask again.

"I was hungry and didn't want to wake you, so I thought I'd come down and see if there was something to eat," he says, looking like a little boy about to get yelled at.

"You should have woken me up! That's what I'm here for," I tell him, opening the freezer to see if there is anything he'd like. It hits me then that I don't actually know what he likes to eat. "Um..." I begin.

"That pizza looks good." I jump when I realize how close behind me Jasper is standing. I can feel his warm breath on my neck, and the contrast it provides with the cold freezer air in front of me is like nothing I've ever felt before.

I put aside my own fantasies and throw the pizza in the oven. I look over to see him still leaning uncomfortably against the counter. Apparently I was so concerned about him that I forgot I should help him sit down.

I wrap my arm around his waist and move his arm over my shoulder so I can help him walk over to a chair. It's not as awkward as I thought it would be, and the fact that he's a few inches taller than me probably helps.

He whines and insists he's fine but I don't buy it. Or maybe I just want all of the physical contact I can get. Oh well, let's not dwell on my motives now.

I look at the clock and see that it's almost noon.

"Shit! School! Work! What's going on?" I turn to Jasper, who is now apparently amused by my ranting.

"Calm down," he says as he tries to get up. I promptly move to his side and push him back down, trying not to pay attention to the physical contact.

He pouts when he realizes I won't let him get up, and I'd be lying if I said it isn't the cutest thing ever.

"Rose and Em are gonna bring us the schoolwork we missed and you said your manager gave you the week off when she found out what happened," he tells me slowly, as if explaining to a small child.

"Oh," is my brilliant reply as I move to sit down across the table from Jasper. I don't even remember talking to my manager but then again, the last few days are kind of a blur.

Now that we're both awake at the same time, I need to talk to him about what happened.

"Jasper…" I hesitate, not looking at him. I only realize after I said it that I used his full name instead of his nickname, but I don't correct myself. "Tell me what happened." This time I look directly at him.

Now it's his turn to look away. I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it, but I can also tell that he knows he has to. The silence between us quickly becomes uncomfortable as I wait for him to speak up. He finally does.

"I tried to cancel the drug deal with the buyer, but James told me that I had to tell him myself," he began quietly, now looking at the floor. "I knew it wasn't going to be good and I didn't want to involve you in any more of my problems. I'm sorry." He tries to stay calm but I hear his voice crack at the end.

Satisfied with his answer, I get up and wrap my arms around his shoulders. He leans into my stomach and inhales deeply, not returning the hug but not backing away either. I start to wonder if I'm making too much physical contact for his comfort, but I decide not to stop until he tells me to.

"You can always come to me, no matter what the problem is. If you had told me what was going on, I would have given the pills back to you. They're not worth losing… you," I tell him quietly, only mouthing the last word.

"No Edward. You've already done too much for me. I have to deal with the messes I make by myself," he says defiantly, and I'm reminded of the conversation we had in his truck.

"Jas, it's okay to ask for help when you need it. I already told you, it doesn't make you any less of a man."

"But I can't just keep asking for help all the time!" He pushes me away from him, and I try to hide the hurt. After all, why should that bother me? It's not like we're together or anything.

For a brief moment Jasper looks as if he's about to reach his arms out and pull me back but he quickly drops his hands to his lap. Now I'm imagining that my fantasies are actually coming true. Great.

"I need to be able to stand on my own." He mumbles something else but I don't hear it. I don't ask, because something else I've been meaning to ask suddenly comes out.

"Jas, how does Rosalie know you? And more importantly, how does she know James?" I didn't mean to ask that question so suddenly, but it feels like now is as good a time as any.

Jasper visibly tenses up and turns his head toward me. I see a look of pure hatred in his eyes, and I can only hope it's not directed at me.

But behind the hatred I can see… sadness? I'm completely lost now so I just remain quiet.

"He's… my mom… and Rosalie… she was there too," he rambles.

"Jas, calm down, you're not forming coherent sentences," I chide, fighting the urge to giggle.

He sighs loudly. And then he sighs again. And again.

"Edward, I'm not going to talk about this."

I give him my "the-fuck-you're-not" look and he immediately grows agitated.

"My mom's a fucking mess okay? All she does is drink and do drugs. She's a worthless whore and I'm fucking messed up because of her. I was fucking taking her to her first AA meeting, which doesn't do shit for her anyway, and Rosalie was there with her good for nothing bitch of a mother too."

He's yelling now, his face turning slightly red from the anger. As much as I want nothing more than to rush over to him and comfort him, I need to let him finish his story.

"We started talking outside of the god damn meeting room and," he hesitated slightly but regained his composure. "She gave me James's contact information."

I look at him questioningly at this last piece of information.

"We're both clean, Edward. That was a long time ago. It's her fucking mother's fault she even had access to shit like that and I just, I needed something to make me forget about all the shit I was going through," he says, his anger fading. Tears start welling in his eyes, but I remain in my seat.

"I called James the next day and he set me up to buy some stuff that I needed to um, get the edge off. I sometimes stole some of my mom's stash to use or sell through James when we needed money to pay the bills. I'm sorry Edward. I'm sorry for making you deal with this and for making you deal with me. I know I'm a fucked up mess and I'm sor-"

I can't take anymore. I rush over to him and squeeze him in my embrace, not letting him finish his sentence. Tears fall from both of our eyes now and I silently curse whichever deity is responsible for making Jasper suffer so much.

"It's not your fault Jas. You didn't make the choice of living in the environment you grew up in. You did what you thought you had to do. And the man in front of me right now is a pretty damn fine one considering the circumstances," I tell him gently, not caring that I'm most likely overstepping the bounds of friendship.

I don't care though. Such things are trivial compared to the well being of my Jasper.

"You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Not many people can come out of a situation like that, and yet look at you. You're here, and you're okay. What's important is that you learn from your mistakes. What's even more important is that you learn to ask for help from the people that care about you."

I stand with my arms around him for almost ten minutes before he gently pushes me away to look up at me.

"Edward, how did I get lucky enough to find someone like you?" he asks, his eyes almost completely bloodshot now.

I chuckle and shake my head as I walk over to the fridge to get out a bottle of water. I hand it to him and he drinks from it as if he hasn't seen water in days. I unconsciously move my hand to his face and brush away the blond hair that had fallen over his face. I run my fingers through his hair a couple times before I realize what I'm doing.

I quickly move my hand away. Jasper chuckles and mutters "Thanks."

I turn around to hide my embarrassment and walk over to the fridge to get him another bottle of water. "What are friends for?" I say nonchalantly, not knowing what to say now.

What the fuck were you thinking Edward Cullen? What guy wants you touching his hair like that? What were you thinking? Oh that's right, you weren't!

When did my brain become my wife? I snicker at the thought and all feelings of embarrassment subside.

I go back to the table to give Jasper the new bottle of water only to find him staring intently at me. I grow slightly self conscious (okay, slightly more self conscious) as I hand him the bottle.

"What?" I ask, hoping my face isn't turning as red as it feels.

He looks down and hesitates. Before I know it, he's struggling to get up. I move to stop it, but the look he gives me tells me not to. He stands up straight, and pants for a few seconds as he catches his breath.

The previous look of hesitation is gone, now replaced by a look of fierce determination that almost frightens me. I move to support him but he puts his hand up, stopping me.

"Edward," he croaks out, then stops. He clears his throat a few times, then looks at me again.

"Edward, I don't want that," he tells me. I look at the bottle in my hand and automatically assume that's what he's referring to.

"Oh, I'll just put it back then," I mutter.

He takes the bottle from my hand and puts it on the table. "No, not that," he says, sounding somewhat exasperated. "You said 'What are friends for?'"

I watch him, still unsure of where he's going with this.

"I don't want you to be my friend."

My breathing stops and all I can do is stare.

I knew it. I knew it all along. Someone like him would never want to be friends with someone like me. I'm a fucking idiot for even thinking that. He's so… perfect and I'm just a worthless piece of shit. I knew it, and now I have to accept it.

"Emmett and Rosalie are my friends," he continues.

As they should be. They fought off his attackers and what did I do? I just fucking rushed to his side and sat there doing fucking nothing. They're his real friends. I'm not worthy of that status. He deserves so much better than me.

I try to hide the tears and I'm not doing a great job, but Jasper doesn't seem to notice.

He runs his hand through his hair and puts the other one on the table for support. "Shit, this isn't how I planned to do this."

I want to yell at him. I want to tell him to get the hell out of my house and to never speak to me again. But I can't. I could never to that to my Jasper.

"How I planned to do this?" He fucking planned this out? He made plans for when he told me he didn't want me in his life anymore?

"Fuck, Edward! Why are you crying?" His tone is full of desperation and his eyes are pleading.

"You're telling me you don't… want to be friends anymore… how the fuck am I supposed to react to that?" I ask him between sobs. I tried to stop the tears but I can't. They continue to free fall down my face.

"Damn it Edward, no!" He lunges at me and hugs me in a death grip around my shoulders, whispering "no" repeatedly into my ear.

After a few moments I'm able to compose myself enough to stop crying. I don't want to leave his grasp. Nothing in my life has ever felt as right as this.

Wait, why is Jasper doing this if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore?

I reluctantly pull away from him, needing to understand.

I look at him and see him staring right back at me, his beautiful blue eyes full of concern. He looks like he's about to cry himself.

But why?

"Jasper," I begin, only to be immediately cut off.

"Edward I'm so fucking sorry, that's not what I meant at all. I just don't fucking think sometimes." He looks back at the floor then up at me.

"What did you mean then?"

"Edward, I…" he stops and takes a deep breath. "Edward, will you go out with me?"

Erm. What?

I'm asleep. This is all a wonderful dream and the next thing I know I'm going to wake up and Jasper will hate me.

I must have been silent for a long time because the sound of Jasper calling my name brings me out of my dazed state.

"Edward?" he repeats, looking more nervous than I've ever seen him before.

"W-what?" I manage to stammer out.

A small smile appears on his face. "Edward, will you be my boyfriend?"

I don't answer. I can't. I can't believe this perfect creature wants me as much as I want him.

Instead of verbalizing my response, I launch into his arms and he holds me tight to his chest.

And I'm home.