Disclaimer – Don't own them, don't sue me.
*Notes – Hope you enjoy!
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"Mom, I can watch Faith and Nat until Dad gets home, promise. It's not like I have anything better to do anyways." Luke lied through his teeth. Although he would've done anything to take Shadowdancer out for a long, hard ride, he knew that his obligation was always to his family first. He could put his own stress away for a few hours if his sisters needed him.
"But Luke…" Lily protested half heartedly, her conflict painted across her face. Luke could tell that she wanted nothing more than to be alone to just think, but was too stubborn to let herself leave her kids alone.
"Mom, it's fine. You won't do any good if you're dragging yourself around here. Go freshen up; we'll be okay." Luke saw that his words struck a chord in his mother, and watched as her stubbornness drained out of her. For the first time, he truly realized how fragile his mom was, and how she was holding onto herself by a thread.
Keeping his emotions from showing on his face – a first – Luke gave his mother a lingering hug before she headed up the stairs to her room. Watching her walk away, he felt his heart break a little at the pain she showed in her every step. She hid it well enough when his sisters were around, acting almost painfully pretend-happy at times, but it was the moments when she just let herself go that her hurt shined through.
When the door at the top of the stairs creaked shut, Luke glanced down at his black, somber clothes and felt the need to get out of them – to get rid of every reminder of the funeral. Not wanting to go upstairs and disturb his mother, Luke went to the laundry room and grabbed a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Throwing them on, he headed to the living room to see where the girls had gone.
Luke found them sitting in front of the television, staring at the floor as some infomercial blared on. They had changed out of their funeral clothes, and looked so much younger for it. Faith was wearing jeans and a loose fitting top, while Natalie was in her favorite pair of pajamas.
Not wanting the girls to be inside the house, Luke walked over and turned off the TV. "I was watching that!" Faith protested half heartedly.
"Really? What was the show about?" Luke asked, a small smile crossing his face as Faith struggled for an answer.
Moving forwards until he was standing right in front of the couch, Luke extended a hand to each of his sisters, holding it at their chest level. "Come on, girls," he began, "let's go out to the pond."
"Why?" Natalie piped in, the first words that Luke had heard her say since they left the church.
"Because it's better than sitting here, staring at the floor." Luke had planned on lying, saying that there was something grand going on outside, but found that he couldn't. Between lying to Noah about cutting his hand - something that shouldn't have even been a big deal – and lying about the investigation, Luke found that he owed his sisters even the smallest bit of honesty.
He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt two hands clasp his, one small and confident, the other larger and more hesitant. Luke enfolded each hand with his own, squeezing comfortingly before pulling his sisters off of the couch and leading them outside.
They were over halfway to the pond when Luke saw someone sitting at the pond, resting at the top of the incline. As they grew closer, details became more discernable, until Luke could clearly see a blonde head. Damian? Again?
Ten more steps, and a red and white hoodie that Luke had seen countless times on campus suddenly filled his vision. He crossed his arms as a subconscious defense mechanism as the realization hit him. No… no, he wouldn't, no…
Visions of the accident filled his mind – flying down the embankment, hearing his brother scream in the backseat, feeling his body jerk within the restraints of a seatbelt. He didn't realize that he had stopped walking until he felt Natalie tugging on his hand, asking why they had stopped.
Luke couldn't decide if he wanted to run and hide from Kevin, or if he wanted to go make him feel the pain that had been coursing through his body for the past two weeks; as if that was possible. What he knew he had to do, however, was to get his sisters back inside the house before they realized what was going on.
"Actually, Natalie, I forgot something in the house. Could you go get it for me?" Luke was shocked that his voice came out steady, and yet not. He was so angry that an icy numb had settled over his body. A sharp pain shooting from the outside of his upper arm quickly informed him that it was more than rage that was making him numb. When he had crossed his arms, he had reflexively dug his nails into his arm.
A flicker of warning shot through Luke; if I don't realize I'm doing it, than maybe I need to stop?, before he quickly shook his head and refocused on the situation before him. Despite his apprehension over what he was doing to his body, Luke continued to press his nails into his arm – after all, it did keep him calm. And calm was something he was going to need a lot of.
"… do you need, Luke?" Luke only caught the last half of Natalie's question, and began to frantically think of something he would need her to get from the house that would keep her from coming outside for a while.
"Luke forgot his iPod." Faith's voice broke through the quiet, the assured tone to it something that Luke wasn't sure he could've been able to fake. "He's going to stay here and clear us some space by the pond, and we'll go back and find his iPod, 'kay Nat?"
"But Faith! That's in Luke's room, and you know how messy it is!" Luke caught Faith's eye as Natalie whined, trying to thank her and explain the situation to her without words. Faith just gave a slow nod as a response, grabbing Natalie's arm and leading her back to the house.
Luke was struck by the realization that his sister was growing up, so much faster than she should have to, but pushed it away as he saw the blonde head in the corner of his vision.
He walked up to Kevin silently, not saying a word until he was only feet away from him. Luke wanted to say something striking, something that would make Kevin wince, but there was only one word that he found himself capable of saying. "Why?"
Kevin's entire body jerked before he jumped to his feet and turned to face Luke. When he glanced at Kevin's face, Luke couldn't stop himself from letting out a small gasp. Kevin looked like shit. His eyes were bloodshot; he was pale, bruised, and so gaunt that it looked as if a breeze could push him away.
"Luke, I'm so sorry, I-I" Kevin's word had a tone of desperation to them, and Luke kept his arms crossed, pressing his nails into his arm harder to keep himself from attacking the man… for now, anyway. First, he needed an explanation.
"You what, Kevin? You what?" Luke mocked, the undisguised loathing in his voice causing Kevin to wince. "You came to apologize? You came to tell me that you're so, so sorry for getting wasted, and high, before offering me a ride home with my little brother?"
"Luke, I wouldn't have if I had known!" Even though his words made no sense, Kevin's voice was strong, and Luke found that he hated him for it.
"How do you not know, Kevin? How do you not realize that you're drunk, and high? How?!" Luke hated how distraught his voice was in comparison to his ex-friend's, but even more, he hated how a small part of him wanted Kevin to give him an explanation that would make everything make sense. It made no sense that Kevin would risk hurting Ethan the way he had, even if he was drunk, even if he was high. Kevin had loved Ethan like a brother – so why would he do what he did?
Kevin took Luke's abrupt silence as an opportunity to explain himself. "Luke, I wasn't drunk, and I didn't get high willingly!"
Any hope Luke had that Kevin was going to tell him the truth vanished like smoke, and Luke's brief disappointment quickly morphed to anger. "How fucking stupid do you think I am, Kevin?" Luke found himself yelling, screaming – unable to stop himself. "Do you think I'd believe that you were just happened, and someone forced poor Kevin to do some weed?"
"Luke!" Kevin protested, further enraging Luke. Before he knew it, he was screaming at Kevin, the kind of words that he thought he'd never hurl at another person, yet alone someone that used to be his friend. He couldn't stop, didn't stop, until he felt hands on his shoulders, pulling him back into an embrace.
The shock of being in Noah's arms only lasted for a heartbeat, and then Luke was fighting against his restraints, trying to get to Kevin, to give him the slightest hint of the pain he had caused.
"Stop fighting me, Luke." The words were murmured in his ear, with a quiet authority to them that Luke faintly recognized as Noah's 'in control' voice. Instead of heeding to the demand in those words, Luke redoubled his fight to break away from Noah, and to reach Kevin.
A flash of black caught his vision, and Luke paused his movements long enough to recognize that his dad had arrived, still in his funeral suit. His unconscious relief at that fact was tempered by Noah releasing him. The shock of not having someone hold him back caused Luke to nearly fall, before he doubled around and looked at Noah, a world's worth of confusion written on his face.
Noah wasn't looking back at him, though. His eyes were locked on Holden, who was mouthing something to him. Noah nodded once before releasing Luke and whispering "Stay out of it," into his ear. Before Luke could say a word, Noah was doubling back to the house, sprinting faster than Luke knew he could.
Luke's confusion was shortly cut off as Holden's words rang through the air. "You have ten seconds to get the hell off of my property." Holden's voice was filled with an unexplainable emotion, something caught between rage and hatred.
"Mr. Snyder, I-" Kevin was cut off yet again, but this time by father instead of son.
"Ten seconds." Holden walked forward until he was standing uncomfortably close to Kevin. Luke absently noticed that although Kevin flinched from Holden's proximity, he didn't step backwards to put more space between them.
"It's to do with the investigation!" Kevin's words merged together as he spat them out, in a rush to speak before he could be cut off. Holden stood his ground, and any emotion was slowly drained from his face, leaving him looking as if he was carved from stone.
"Kevin, you're the reason that my son is dead." The words were more painfully true than anything Luke had heard since the accident, and his shock almost caused him to fall to his knees. "So you know what? I don't want to hear a damn thing you have to say. I don't want to see you, or know that you're here, near my family, ever again. Now, Jack is going to be here any second now. You can get lost, now, or I'm going to have you arrested for trespassing."
As if his words were a cue, Noah ran up to Luke and enfolded him in his arms, while Jack made a beeline to Kevin, who was standing dead still with his eyes darting around. Luke forced himself to look away from those unfocused eyes, choosing to turn and bury his face in Noah's sweater instead.
Even though his face was pressed into Noah's chest, Luke heard a muffled yell; heard Jack begin to haul Kevin away. His relief that Kevin was gone, heading back to the jail that he belonged in, sent Luke's head spinning. Not in relief, or happiness, but in the knowledge that in a world where everything was going wrong, maybe this one thing would go right.
Inhaling Noah's comforting scent, Luke lifted his head up and craned his neck, so that he was looking at Jack and Kevin. His eyes caught on his former friends, and something inside Kevin seemed to snap.
He struggled against Jack's grasp, trying to break free. "I didn't do it, Luke!" Kevin's words took a hysterical edge to them, and his eyes were so wide that it seemed as if he were trying to force Luke to believe them. "Look at the drug screen!" Kevin screamed, "I was drugged, it wasn't my fault! It wasn't! IT WASN'T!"
Kevin went ballistic, and Luke couldn't help it; he shrunk back into Noah, allowing his boyfriend to hold him tight. Jack, who didn't have handcuffs on him ]since he had just come from the funeral, struggled to keep Kevin from breaking free.
Luke caught his father's eye, only to see that there was no trace of the man that had raised him in those light blue depths. There was a coldness, a hard fury that Luke had never seen present in Holden before. He knew that was the reason that Holden didn't attempt to help Jack restrain Kevin; his control over himself was so tenuous, so fragile – he didn't know if it would hold.
Long moments later, Kevin and Jack were finally out of sight. Luke, Noah, and Holden stood by the pond, motionless, as if a spell had been cast and they couldn't fight against it. Despite the fact that Luke's world had been shifted on it's axis yet again, nothing had changed; the breeze still blew, the smell of grass was still on the wind, and the sun was still shining.
Reaching down and grabbing a loose rock, Luke threw it into the pond, taking perverse satisfaction in the ripples that broke up the once stagnant waters as the rock hit it. He continued to throw whatever he found on the banks into the water until he felt a hand grab his fist as he reached his arm behind his head yo throw. Expecting it to be Noah, Luke turned sharply with a harsh retort on his lips; a retort that quickly died when he saw his father staring at him.
They held gazes for a long moment, before Luke ducked his head. "Dad, I'm sorry," were the first words that came out of his mouth. "I didn't know he'd be here, I should've known… Dad, why was he here?" Luke hated how young his voice sounded, but he couldn't do anything to stop it.
Holden had no reply, just as Luke had expected. Instead of bullshitting an answer, or changing the subject, Holden simply reached up and ruffled Luke's hair. The action was out of context, out of place, and yet nothing seemed more natural in the world.
Luke wordlessly lifted his head, and allowed his father to sling an arm around his shoulders. Together, they began to walk to Noah, who was standing by the edge of the pond, alone.
"Noah," Luke called out softly, "are you coming?" Noah looked like he was surprised that they had remembered him, and Luke felt something in him mourn for the damage Noah's upbringing still had on him. Refusing to dwell on pity, Luke broke free of his father's grasp to walk over to his boyfriend, grabbing his hand and interlacing their fingers.
Pulling Noah behind him, Luke walked back over to his dad and nodded at him, ever so slightly. Taking Luke's hint, Holden walked around to Noah, and set a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. Noah's eyes clouded, and a slow breath could be heard in the otherwise silent field.
The three began to walk back up to the house, hoping that Kevin would be gone while knowing that the trouble he had brought wouldn't. Keeping his gaze centered on the grass below him, Luke missed how Noah looked as if he were contemplating something, turning it over in his mind. When he did bring his gaze up to Noah's face, he saw a brief flash of guilt that was quickly covered up.
Not wanting to press the issue, figuring Noah would talk to him if he was feeling guilty about anything, Luke stroked his thumb over Noah's hand. The action soothed him, helped him focus. As Luke saw Lily fly out of the house, heading for Jack, he knew that he was going to need all the soothing he could get.
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