So new chapter! Yayy! Will be posting chapters every Tuesday now, because I'm starting to run out of written chapters and my writing has to make it too.
Thank you LoveKlaroline for your lovely review of my last chapter, totally made my whole week. And I wouldn't be able to plan Stefan's wedding if I was Carline either but she is a stubborn lady. Plus that she is destined to meet Klaus so she has to be there, right?
Well, here is my chapter, how ran away a little from me, not ending as I intended to. But in the end am I very proud over it and likes what it became.
Hope you do as well!
Chapter 10 - The Confusion
Stefan lifts the glass he has in his hand to his mouth, swallowing down the contents in one swift move.
"So… you say that you had no idea that Caroline was in love with you?" Klaus says as he refills Stefan's glass as well as his own.
"No, it's not like she has told me before" Stefan sighs, staring at the glass, hearing Caroline's voice inside his head, always Caroline's voice, telling him not to drink it. It blends together with Elena's disappointed look and Rebekah's intense glare. These are the things that always keeps him from drinking. Klaus snorts and shakes his head, putting his hand on Stefan's shoulder.
"It's not like she should need to tell you, you can see it in the way she looks at you. Like you're some kind of god" Klaus' voice has a sharp end to it, one he only used to have when he talks about the people that have betrayed him. Stefan gives him a suspicious look before his friend leans back in the couch they are sitting in.
"She doesn't" is his only response. He would have noticed it if Caroline was that obvious, he's sure.
"Oh, trust me, Mate. She does" Klaus says, swinging his own glass back, throwing his other hand up on the back of the couch, looking Stefan in the eye.
"I didn't know" Stefan mumbles, putting his, still full, glass down on the table and hiding his tired head in his hands. He hadn't slept all night. He was away from Rebekah for the first night in months and he just couldn't stop thinking about Caroline.
Or Elena, because even if he doesn't like to admit it does she take up a lot of his head space since she came here. Klaus gives him a look that tells him that he thinks he is stupid. But there is something else in Klaus' eyes too, something jealous that Stefan can't quite place.
"It fascinating how you couldn't know when everyone else could see it after spending five minutes in the same room as the two of you" his voice definitely holds a sharp tone this time and he refuses to look Stefan in the eye, instead staring at a pillow between them. Suddenly it clicks for Stefan and he can't help to smile at his 'cold-hearted' friend and replays with a victorious voice.
"YOU are in love with Caroline!"
It's quiet for a little while, Klaus' face the picture of total terror for a fraction of a second before it's quickly replaced with a fake laugh. Stefan won't let himself get fooled, Klaus clearly feel something for his best friend, otherwise, he wouldn't be laughing, Klaus almost never laughed, not like this.
"You're mad, Salvatore. Not a change that I feel something for the blond" Klaus' words, a good minute too late to be trustworthy, doesn't fool him and he turns against his friend, a big smile on his face.
"You really like her, don't you?" he asks, his eyes stuck on Klaus'. The older of the two opens his mouth to protest but then stops himself and sighs, as in defeat. Stefan is left almost shocked, Klaus never let anyone see his feelings, apart from anger, only expectation his family that gets glances of it from time to time.
"I just don't get it, you have a girl like Caroline looking at you like you're a god and you choose to marry my sister". Again with the god reference, as if that is the way Klaus wants her to look at himself, the jealousy thick in his voice.
"I just don't like Caroline that way" Stefan says because he knows how easy it is to exasperate Klaus, and it's not something that he wants to do.
"I just don't get it" Klaus sighs, leaning back in the couch, throwing with his arms, seemingly confused and beaten down as if he has spent nights thinking about her.
"You don't get why you like her?" Stefan tries to understand his friend's dilemma without upsetting him further, which is easier said than done if you think about his bad temper. Plus that it's not like he has any experience, Klaus had never before shown any feeling, without perhaps attraction, for any woman they have ever met.
"She's special, beautiful, light, determent, genuine. She doesn't change for anyone" Klaus says, his eyes stuck somewhere in front of them.
"Yes, you are drunk, mate" Stefan laughs and takes his friend's glass to put it too on the tale.
"Yes, I am. I drank before you show up you know, I just wanted her to get out of my head" Klaus' eyes look so tired and desperate that Stefan can't help but grin. All these times when Klaus called him weak because he cared about what a women thought about him seemed long gone.
"I think you should tell her" Stefan says, voice filled with laughter. Klaus straightens immediately, staring at him for a second before he looks forward and mumbles something that sounds like:
"You wouldn't have anything against it?" He looks actually nervous and it is totally adorable what Caroline can make this cold-hearted man do without even knowing it.
"NO! I think you would go well together. If you are ready to lay down some work at communication. She has turned my life around more than once, and I am sure that she can do the same with you".
They are silent for minutes after that, just taking the moment in, Stefan feels at peace for the first time since Caroline told him that she is in love with him. Klaus visibly thinking about Caroline, maybe accepting his own feelings for the first time. They are so at peace with themselves and each other that no one of them moves. After a while Stefa stands up anyway, patting his mate on the tight.
"I'm gonna take a walk. See you tomorrow, Mate" Klaus stands up, clearly ready to go with him. "No" Stefan says softly. "Think about what you're gonna say to her"
Almost an hour later is Stefan sitting in one of the garden furniture, nursing a bottle of water. He has been alone since he left Klas and he is happy for it. He needs time to think. About Caroline, what will he say to her when he sees her again? He hasn't seen her all day today at least. Was he going to tell Rebekah, or was that just to stir around in the pot? Maybe it was better for her to not know. And then there was that other matter, that had ghosted his head constantly the last four years. Elena.
At the exact time that he lets her pass his thoughts, someone puts a couple of hands over his eye. He would like to say Rebekah but he knows all too well that she doesn't play those 'silly games', he knows how this is.
"Elena?" he asks with a chipper voice and the hands disappears. Elena stands in front of him with a pink tank top, a grey hoodie, black jobbing tights and her hair in a ponytail. She is surely out for a run. Both Elena and Katherine go jogging when they exercise, exactly like Rebekah while Caroline still trains gymnastics.
"Care to walk with me on my walk, Stefan?" Elena asks with a cute smile and wiggles a little where she stands, looking at him with big brown eyes. It's so much like what it used to be when they dated all these years ago that he has to do a double take before he answers.
"Yes, sure. Let's go" he stands up and they start walking side by side along the vineyards. They keep quiet for a while, both clearly having much burdens their thoughts.
"So Caroline finally told you how she feels, huh?" Elena asks with a light tone.
"Seriously!" Stefan borrows his best friends expression "did everybody knew but me?" he asks, giving Elena a look that is somewhere in between irritated and embarrassed.
"It's not like she was discreet" Elena laughs a little, despite the heavy feeling they both have. "And she may or may not have told us on a girl night a few years ago" she keeps going, now almost mockingly. Stefan sighs loudly before he glances at her.
"Do you think she will forgive me?" he mumbles, because that is his greatest fear, that he will lose her as a friend because of this.
"She's Caroline" Elena says easily, clearly not that worried "She never stays mad at anyone. The only one she is going to be angry at in a few days is herself, for telling you"
"I don't like that either, she is a strong woman, she shouldn't blame herself because I'm not able to see her that way" Stefan sighs, running his hand over his face.
"Don't say that" she says and hugs his shoulder with her hand "you can't help not being in love with her any more than she can help to be in love with you" her eyes are loving, warm.
"Why didn't we work?" Stefan can't help himself but ask then, staring straight into her eyes. It has been a constant question for him ever since they broke up, years ago. Elena turns to look at him with a quick laugh.
"We were so young, Stefan. Easy, good, pure" she says as if it supposed to be an answer.
"And we loved each other, more than anything" Stefan keeps going, remembering everything from their relationship.
"Yeah, we did" Elena says longingly, stopping to look out over the nightfall on the big yards. Stefan stops beside her, gluing his eyes to her profile, letting himself forget himself for just a moment.
"Maybe we just weren't meant to be. Life isn't simple, isn't pure. So maybe we were somewhat too good, unbalanced" Elena says tranquility after a while, turning to him with her big brown deer eyes and heart-shaped face.
"You still believe in meant to be, Elena?" he asks because what he has with Rebekah is many things, but it isn't meant to be. They just found each other in a messed up place and saved each other from it. They are each other's saviors, but they're not meant to be.
"I believe everyone has someone they are meant to be with, how they are meant to find, yes, and I also believe that we weren't it" Elena says after taking a deep breath, her eyes still on his, looking just as beautiful as he remembered them. "Not because I didn't love you, Stefan, but because we just weren't right for each other in the long run" she continues, her hand lightly touching his cheek, her eyes starting to get wet, just like his own.
"But you still choose him?" he asks, quietly, barely speaking, putting his hand on hers and buries his head in it.
"What?" she whispers, her eyes now glued to his lips for a second before darting up to his own, a half-guilty facial expression.
"Damon" he says, pulling her hand away from his face but still keeping it in his. Elena stares at the ground awhile before she answers, that is answer enough for Stefan.
"I chose you" she says, crying for real now "he asked me multiple times, and I picked YOU every single time" she says, tears running down her cheeks,Stefan lets his own fall when he hears her saying it like that, like it's something she regrets, something she can't think off. He doesn't hide his tears, never has to pretend with her, she already knows him from the inside out.
"But if I would ask you today, if I didn't have Rebekah and everything come down to just you and me or you and him, you would choose him"
The look Elena gives the ground says it all. Stefan turns around, ready to leave when he feels her hand in his again.
"I loved you, you found me at a moment when all I wanted to do was die and you were the reason I wanted to live again" she says, quickly and a little desperate but her dark eyes are firmly looking into his, telling him that she thinks what she says now are important. "You still are the only reason I didn't take my life, you ARE the reason I live today" she says, fresh tears gliding down her cheeks.
"But lately, he is the reason I feel alive. You have to get it, Stefan, I have WANTED to be alive ever since we were together but I never felt it, not ONCE since my parents died. Not until now, not until him. He just, he got under my skin and I can't shake him" Elena keeps going, despite his attempts to jump in, tell her that Damon isn't good, that he doesn't like it. "He makes me feel alive Stefan, and I am going to be with him" It's like a dagger is pulled through his heart, leaving him without the possibility to breath and making his heart stop beating. It hurts so much he physically takes a step back.
"No Elena, you can't do that, not to me, not to Caroline!" Stefan says looking her in the eyes. He knows the same time that he says it that he is wrong. It's her life, she has the right to do whatever she wants, be with however she likes. He normally takes pride in accepting other people for how they are, not caring about their falls. "I'm sorry" he mumbles, because Elena still hasn't answer and he just want her to understand that he doesn't mean it. "I… I didn't mean that, I just... "
"I know" she says, hugging his hand a little tighter. Stefan looks her in the eyes, knowing that they both think about the same thing
2 years ago
Stefan nervously knocks the door to his girlfriend's house, he knows that it's crazy to be nervous about a thing like that. It's just that he just come back from Chicago, and a two months long unplanned trip and he hasn't talked to her since he accused her of still being in love with his brother, how left the country to never come back four months ago. The doors open and Elena stare at him with her big deer eyes.
Normally she would jump at him, laughing and crying when he comes back from his runaways and he would apologize, telling her it would never happen again. This time she just looks at him, looking almost scared and feels something pull inside of him. It's not the same thing this time, they both know it.
"You're home" she finally says and walks out to him on the porch and closes the door behind her, effectively showing him that they will not have any funny business today.
"Yes" he answers, not finding something else to say. They stand there awkwardly for a little while, which is new too because they have always been able to talk to each other.
"I'm sorry, for screaming at you to get away from me" Elena mumbles, aiming at the words she screamed at her when he pulled her into his car and tried to take her with him to Chicago. He feels a stab in his chest at that. He was lost in that moment, so stuck in his own mind that he didn't have a clue what he was doing. Not that it was a valid cause.
"It's okay" he says with a short laugh, not because it's funny but because he doesn't know what else to do. "I probably deserved it" she gives him a quick smile before it disappears again, being replaced with that great grief that so often shines from her eyes. He sighs and sits down on the stairs, Elena quietly moves to sit beside him, with a little gap in between them. "What has happened to you, Stefan? To us?" she asks, desperately, as if that is the question that she has burned to question under all this time when he has been away.
"We changed, I think you have done it the most" Stefan answers, because it's the truth, they aren't how they had been anymore.
"I wish I was the same girl you knew before, the one you found trying to take suicide on that bridge" Stefan winces, he still clearly remember the night he drove by to find her standing on the same bridge where her parents died, ready to jump. The pictures still dance through his nightmares sometimes. "I wish I could say that I still want to be with you in the same sure way I did back then, but I can't. I changed, I want different things now, I wanna try something new" Stefan looks to the ground, a fake smile gracing his lips.
"I can't do this anymore Elena, I can't stay only because you want me to. It's not in my nature to stay when I get hurt and I don't want to upset you any more than I already did" he says quietly. He still loves her, he does, he loves her so much. But he knows that it's time to let go now, they have run out of their time. "I have to leave, I can't be here and look you and everyone else I have hurt in the eyes anymore" picture of Damon, Elena, Katherine and Caroline dances in front of his eyes. He speaks the truth, he hasn't known it before now but he does, he has to leave. He has to apologize to Damon, he has to find peace inside of himself again before he turns back here, looking at all of these people in the eye.
"I know" Elena says, hugging his hand for a second with her eyes glowing with that eternal sadness that he can't seem to do anything against these days. He gives her one last smile and hugs her hand back before she goes inside, leaving him heartbroken on the porch.
The only thing he can think about is that her eyes aren't sad anymore, she actually looks alive. She gives him a little heart bursting smile, letting go of his hand.
"You should be with him" Stefan surprises himself with the words, but he knows that he means them. "I just want you to be happy, and clearly I don't like the fact that the reason that you are happy is my brother, but I accept it and I think you should tell him what you have told me now" Elena looks at him with shocked eyes.
"But… but Caroline?" she stammers, putting one of her hand over her heart. He knows what she is feeling, it is a different thing to let yourself admit that you are in love with someone than to tell them.
"You said it yourself, she is Caroline, she never stays mad at anyone. And deep down all she wants is for you to be happy" he feels himself smile at the beaming smile that graces her lips.
"Thank you Stefan" she whispers, tears in her eyes now, giving him a tight smile. She gives him a hug, a strong, lingering one. A quiet promise of what might have been if the universe had worked with them.
He holds on to her, not wanting to let go. They stand there when the sun finally disappears from the horizon and just hold each other, both knowing that when they let go they will never be the same. This is their last moment. Ever. And it's sad, and beautiful and powerful. It's epic, to use the word that they always used to describe their love when they were together.
"I love you, Stefan" she mumbles into his shirt before she lets go of him, taking a few steps back from him.
"And I love you, Elena" he answers, watching her leave with tears on his cheeks.
Not my intention that this would get this depressing but the text run away with me and suddenly there just as a chapter. Hope you liked it anyway.
Reviews? Always apriciated!
Thank you for reading.