notes: I almost forgot I was going to update today. Again.
notes2: This is a pretty long one-shot, too.
notes3: And an AU, but before you turn back, I think it's pretty light (lighter than every AU I've done, anyways). I feel like it's retribution or something, just to make up for the tears you've all shed trololol
notes4: I feel like waiting for my next chapter is like playing Russian roulette. You don't know if the next one will leave you sighing in relief or kill you with emotions.
notes5: Thank you to those who put this story in their Favorites/Alerts list and to those who reviewed (\cupCakesYummeh, xBluieLovex, Disappear500, Squirrel Singer, HungerGamesrules, QueenP19, GoldenRoseTanya, LuckyLifeSmile, Xx shimmering starlight xX, .xX, TacosAnonymous, greetingsfrommaars PS, your interesting question will be answered somehow, just maybe not directly ;) and not right now lol, km28ave, and Flower of Hell)! I love you guys!
notes6: I actually reached the 100-review mark last chapter (all thanks to you guys!), and Flower of Hell is the 100th reviewer! How does a snippet of the next one-shot sound, just as a little gift? Probably only a day before I update though :)
notes7: (10/25) OMG I've reached double digits!
disclaimer: At 14, I'm already a famous mangaka who created a very famous manga that has sold millions (I don't have the exact statistics) of volumes around the world? That sounds plausible.
summary: Because even after knowing her for 13 years, she didn't seem to change one bit.
He met her the first time when he was 5. She said she was 17 years old when he asked, and he wondered how she was friends with someone old like Loke.
"I'm not old!" Loke had said indignantly, "I'm only 22!"
He commented that he seemed old compared to Lucy, who looked so young. She chuckled at that, and said something like "I look younger than I really am." He puzzled over that, but one of her pats on his head silenced his thoughts. Because he was a kid, and he shouldn't be thinking of trivial thoughts.
Trivial.
"Lucy, I said 'trivial' in my head! I don't even know what it means but I said it! Do I get a reward?"
He saw her again when he was 7, and even his young mind wondered how she looked the same when it's been so long since they saw each other (he reasoned that child years were pretty much shorter than normal years—to him, anyways—so that was saying a lot). He asked her why it seemed like that, and she merely chuckled in response, eyes glinting with mirth on something he would never understand.
"It's magic," she told him, still laughing lightly. He pouted, because he was a smart boy and he knew that magic didn't exist.
But he didn't know why it felt like she wasn't joking.
When he was 10, he'd started to treat her like an older sister. The fact that her appearance suffered no change in the past years still remained, and he'd long since wondered why. But he couldn't stop the comparison and questioning with Loke showing signs of aging during the past 5 years. The boy just resolved with telling himself that it was because Lucy wasn't normal. She was special.
"Lucy," he called, drawing her attention to him, "are you still going to look like that in 7 years?"
A dark veil appeared in front of her eyes, but it was gone before he could ask her why it was there. The bright smile lit up her face, but something about it felt forced and fake. He often doubted her sincerity when it came to talks about the future. It didn't look like Lucy was lying, but it felt like there was something she wasn't telling him. He secretly sulked that it was because he was a kid.
"I'll still look the same, Natsu, trust me."
Sulking aside and forgotten, he grinned at the thought of being able to catch up to her.
At 13 years old, he started feeling weird, unexplainable feelings when Lucy was around. With only one of her smiles thrown his way, butterflies would transpire in his stomach, fluttering their wings annoyingly to taunt him. He couldn't receive any of her usual hugs anymore without his face turning as red as a tomato, and don't even get him started on what happens when she kisses him on the cheek randomly. Not knowing what to do with the unknown territory of weird, bubbly feelings, he consulted those he knew would know. He was smart enough to know not to ask Lucy, because she might laugh at him and then he'll be embarrassed in front of her, and that would not be cool. Gray (he didn't know what brought him to ask the bastard) teased that he was going soft, to which he answered with a fist in the face. Gajeel didn't even look like a person to know about feelings any more than he did (they both lacked in that department in different ways). Macao and Wakaba were out of the question (because who knows what kind of perverted things they'll tell him?) and that only left one person.
When he consulted to Loke about the things he started to feel, something flashed in Loke's eyes, under the blue tinted glasses, before it disappeared completely, forever incomprehensible by his mind. The man had told him, rather giddily, that it was because he had a crush on Lucy. Mortified (and misunderstood), he yelled at Loke that he certainly did not want to crush Lucy. Loke couldn't help but laugh at him and, with a pat on the head, told him that he'll understand in due time.
He wondered how Loke was sure he'll understand.
It was after 3 years, at the age of 16, that he started to understand (and with it, accept) that he felt something special for the blond. And true to her word 6 years ago, she still looked the same as she had during their first meeting, and his maturing mind tried not to question any natural laws being broken. It was still unusual even after 11 years.
During one of his deep thinking (something he didn't do too often or it might just hurt his head), he accidentally bumped into Loke, scattering the pictures the man was holding in his hands. He knelt down to help Loke gather them again, with the orange-haired man clambering on all fours. He carefully picked up the picture nearest to him and his eyes widened at the image.
It was 17-year old Lucy—the same Lucy with the unchanging appearance, looking exactly how she did through the years—and beside her smiled 17-year old Loke.
The image haunted him for the next 2 years. Whenever his thoughts trudged anything about Lucy's age and obviously long vitality, the hammer-like pain in his head would be back because it never made any sense no matter how he looked at it.
But because he loved her—he did, he did, he did, for 13 years, ever since they first met—he ignored her abnormal lack of aging process and tried not to mind it too much. After all, because of it, he finally caught up to her.
So, at 18, he decided it was the right time to confess how he felt. He was older than her by one year—not chronologically speaking, of course, since not even he knew how old she really was—and he didn't want that age difference to lengthen because even though he managed to catch up with her, he knew, at some hidden part in his mind, that she wouldn't.
At New Year's Eve—at the start of another year to show how she wasn't aging—he led her to a secluded, serene hill, palms sweaty with nervousness.
With the fireworks reflecting off his eyes, he took a deep breath and confessed. "I love you, Lucy," he said, taking both of her hands in his, "starting from that day when Loke introduced you to me." Removing one of his hands from hers, he transferred it to the back of his neck. "I'm not really good at the whole 'feelings' thing, but I'm good enough to know that you're special to me. That's—" He realized that he had nothing more to say. "That's it, I guess."
Anxious, he read every emotion that passed through her eyes, watched as each conflicted with another, froze as her eyes glazed over. Something told him that wasn't a good sign.
"Natsu," she said, avoiding his eyes. Her hand hung limply in his hold. "I—" He could feel her trembling with hesitation, or what he hoped was hesitation. Hesitation was probably the best out of all the other choices. "I can't."
To her, he must've looked completely hurt and heartbroken at that moment. His emotions openly showed in his eyes, while hers were carefully guarded. For a moment, he thought he saw them unguarded, revealing the same hurt and sadness in her eyes, but the veil was back before he could tell himself it wasn't his imagination. She pulled her hand back and looked at him with a guilty apology—because she was the cause of his hurt, after all—saying waveringly, "You don't understand."
Before she walked away, his ears picked up a choked sob and a painfully soft "I'm sorry".
"What is Lucy?"
Loke turned his attention to him with indifference, seemingly unaffected by the question.
"And don't give me that crap that she's perfectly normal because I know she's not."
The orange-haired man let out a sigh as he put his book down. "Why do you want to know?"
You don't understand. Her words echoed in his mind.
"Because I want to understand."
He was sure Loke only agreed to tell him everything because he saw his defiant resolve of wanting to know. Taking the seat across the orange-haired man as he was told, he steeled himself for what he was about to hear and not be able to un-know. "Lucy is still a human being. She's not a goddess, or a wizard, or a fairy. She's as human as anyone else. . ." Loke pursed his lips unconsciously. "Except that she had stopped aging years ago."
Natsu was only given a brief time for momentary shock before Loke continued. "Lucy and I were childhood friends." He couldn't miss the rueful smile on the man's face. "We grew up together, until she was 17."
"She's frozen at 17, isn't she?"
Loke slightly nodded. "While everyone around her grows and ages."
Natsu's face contorted into something akin to sympathy. "What kind of sick, twisted fate did that to Lucy?"
The man's eyes went blank behind the spectacles. "It wasn't fate, Natsu," he said quietly, "It was a living, human being."
"What?" Natsu snapped, "Tell me who this person is and I'm gonna beat him until he feels guilt for what he's done and stops Lucy from not growing!"
The rueful, bitter smile returned to Loke's face, like he was already accustomed to it. "It was me." Natsu's eyes widened. "I stopped Lucy from aging."
"You bastard!" Natsu's fist pounded on the table as he stood up, glaring at the man in front of him. "Why would you do that to Lucy?!"
"Because I loved her, too, Natsu." Loke looked up to him with sad, truthful eyes, and Natsu couldn't hold everything against him anymore. He sat down again and contented himself with looking away instead.
"But why would you do that?" Natsu mumbled, "I know Lucy's not happy, even though she always smiles."
"Lucy's family had shorter lifespans than normal," Loke started, "Everyone in the family knew they were going to die younger." Natsu didn't miss the clenching of Loke's fists. "But Lucy's lifespan was even shorter than most." His voice started to be more strained. "They predicted she was going to die at 17. How cruel is that?"
Natsu kept his silence, choosing not to answer. It was very cruel, he would admit, but what Lucy was currently going through was very cruel on its own, too. That didn't absolve Loke from anything yet.
"As you may have guessed already, I'm not normal myself," he said, "I'm still human, but I've been blessed with the ability to do magic." He smiled, wry and humorless. "Lucy always told me how she wanted to go on adventures, and meet her prince and fall in love."
Natsu already guessed what Loke was going to say next. "So using my magic, I tried to lengthen her time, at least until she's completely satisfied with her life." The rueful smile never seemed to leave his face anymore, and the boy wondered just how many times he smiled like that at any memory of Lucy before her age froze. "I never thought it would stop her from aging with me."
At the sight of the regretful, remorseful Loke, Natsu couldn't help but be softer, because he knew that, if given the chance, he would've done the same thing. What Loke did was only for Lucy. "Can it be stopped?" he asked, an unbidden edge of hope in his voice, "Reversed?"
Loke shook his head. "Don't you think I could've already if I can?"
Natsu stayed silent for a moment, sad and sympathetic. Then, a thought occurred to him. "But, why didn't you stop yourself from aging? You could've done that, right?"
"I couldn't." Loke looked off to the side, observing the blooming flowers and the near-wilting ones beside them. "It would be the death of me. I can't leave Lucy."
Some selfish part of Natsu's mind rejoiced at the fact that Loke can never live with Lucy forever (then again, neither could he). That same part thanked Loke for freezing Lucy's aging so they had a chance to meet, and he had a chance to fall in love with her. But saying gratitude for that meant he was also giving gratitude for Lucy's suffering. That didn't feel good.
"Natsu, I know how miserable Lucy is because of me." Loke's voice snapped him out of his stupor. "Please don't give up on her. You're the only person I know persistent enough to pursue your love." The man held such a bittersweet smile that made Natsu wish he was seeing the teasing smirk or the overly-obnoxious sneer instead. "Please give her the happiness she deserves."
Natsu gave him a soft smile. "You don't have to tell me, Loke." And he went off to find Lucy.
He found her standing near her favorite pond, her body bathed in the moon's light. It took his breath away to see her like that, looking like the mystical girl she truly was.
Taking quiet steps, he stood behind Lucy, the girl still unaware of his presence. He couldn't help but slip back to his casual, mischievous ways. His finger poked her back, causing her to jump in fright. She turned to him, the expected glare already fixated on her face. It relieved him a bit to see Lucy acting like herself and not sad-regretful-blank Lucy, like he'd seen her after he confessed. He didn't ever want to see her in such a negative state. "Natsu!" the girl said, "What are you doing here?"
Suddenly reminded of his purpose, his face turned serious and slightly desperate at the same time as he caught Lucy's hands, painfully reminiscent to what he dubbed the 'Confession Scene'. "Lucy, I know what you are, and I'll tell you that it didn't make me love you any less," he said, voice having a slight tremble and a twinge of uncertainty, "If you say that you don't love me, right now, I'll accept it and I won't bother you with it anymore."
Seconds ticked by, seeming like centuries on end to him. The response didn't come until his faith was almost wavering. "I—" His eyes widened, hurt painstakingly spreading on the inside, but he tried not to show it as to not hinder what Lucy was trying to say, whether it was his rejection or not.
"I—" She stumbled with her words, as if she was conflicted and confused. "I-I can't say it."
Natsu couldn't hide the widening of his eyes at her next words. "I love you, Natsu, I love you." She used the heel of her palm to wipe the oncoming wave of tears. "But it's so painful because we can't be together."
"What do you mean we can't be together?"
"I'm living forever, Natsu," she said, solemn, "Forever is a long time."
"I may not be able to be with you forever," Natsu started, already wiping her tears with her, "But I'll be with you for as long as I can, for the rest of my life."
Lucy shook her head vehemently, wanting and yearning yet miserable and time-bound and just a victim of fate. "I don't want to feel the pain of being left by you, and I don't want you to feel the pain of leaving me."
"Luce, look at me," he held her arms, staring straight to her eyes with intensity and so much devotion that she couldn't bear to look away. "I know I can't stay, but don't you think it's better to spend that limited time I have together instead of not? Sure, we don't have forever, but if we live our lives better than forever," he grinned, and it removed all tension from the air (it always had that kind of effect), "wouldn't it all be worth it?"
"It sounds really nice, Natsu," she said, voice full of interlaced hope and desperation and fantasy and the painful reality that it can't happen that easily. "It would be better if it was as easy as that." And she started crying again, causing Natsu to worry and try to calm her down.
"Lucy, Lucy, don't cry," he said tenderly, "If only I had magic, I'll make it all better." A voice in his head said softly, But you don't, and it was enough to make him grit his teeth at the unfairness of it all. Why was fate so cruel to prevent Lucy's happiness?
Don't you think it's time to finally make Lucy happy?
"Yes," he answered the voice in his head, "And I'll do what it takes just to make her happy."
"Good." A voice in front of him said, and he realized the voice wasn't from his head.
The person's name passed through Lucy's lips in surprise. "Loke." And there, the orange-haired man stood, smirking and looking like normal Loke, but his hazel eyes told Natsu that he was sad and regretful. "What are you doing here?"
The man casually pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "I'm here to give you eternal happiness, Lucy."
"Wha—?" She gave him a befuddled look. Natsu had the same expression on his face (who wouldn't after hearing that?), unsure of whether to take it seriously or not.
"You love Natsu, don't you?"
She blushed at the question. "O-of course I do." Natsu couldn't stop the grin because above everything, Lucy loved him, and hearing her say it brightened him up a lot.
And then Loke had a weird smile on his face, as if conveying something only Lucy could understand. Beside him, he felt her stiffen. "I've made you miserable for so long," the man said, features as every bit as remorseful. Natsu only realized now that Loke has always been full of regret, and it angered him that he didn't even notice it one bit.
"I can leave you now without regrets," Loke said solemnly, sincerely, sadly, "Don't you think so, Lucy?"
And with the widening of Natsu's eyes, Loke's body began to light a soft orange glow. Lucy's pleas—"Loke! No, please, don't do this! Loke!"—were the only sounds filling the chilly, night air. He stood still, paralyzed, because he knew, at the back of his mind, what Loke was doing, and yet he couldn't process it enough to act on it. His words were caught in his throat, and all he could do was stare at the glowing man with wide eyes.
Loke turned to him, a soft smile (he briefly noted how it didn't look like the rueful smile accustomed to his face; he really was leaving without any regrets), warm and friendly, saying, "Take care of Lucy, Natsu."
The next thing he knew, he was holding back hot tears, smiling a tight, quivering smile at the fading man he treated as family his whole life. "D-don't you worry, L-Loke." He tried his best to give him the biggest energetic grin he could muster, ending up crooked from his trembling lips. "I'll take care of her, for the rest of my life."
That seemed like the only assurance Loke needed. He waved at them one last time before he disappeared completely, without any traces, leaving only darkness behind.
Natsu gathered the sobbing girl in his arms as he, too, let the tears flow. They cried for hours, holding each other close, Lucy's heartbreaking calls of Loke's name drowning every sound of their surroundings.
Because Loke's sacrifice was for them to obtain eternal happiness.
Because Natsu knew, deep inside, that he was going to live forever.
The 7-year old boy closed the door of his room behind him, careful not to make any sound. His tiny feet tiptoed down the stairs, orange hair changing from dark to light under different shadows and lighting. He always sneaked around this time, because it was one of the many times (many, many times) that those two fooled around with each other, thinking he was sleeping soundly on his bed.
He poked his head from behind a wall, having full view of the scene in the kitchen. An 18-year old boy splashed water from the faucet at a soaking 17-year old girl, who tried to shield the incoming water with her arms, giggling as she did so. Both of them were engrossed in the water fight, oblivious to the hazel pair of eyes observing them.
He smiled at the sight. "Living forever is better when you're with the one you love," the boy said, looking at the bright smile on the blond's face (which, he told himself, could only be caused by the pink-haired boy and no one else), "Right, Mama?"
A little extra:
Lucy: Where'd you get all those romantic things you said that day (Loke-using-his-powers-for-Natsu-to-live-forever day)? They're too cheesy to actually come from someone like you.
Natsu: Weeelllll, Loke might have taught me to say those things sometime during my childhood.
notes: Because Loke has always been Natsu's (this AU's Natsu) love advisor and teacher.
notes2: That little extra came because I thought Natsu was pretty OOC in some stuff, so yeah. That would justify his OOC.
notes3: How was that one-shot? Happy ending, eh? (That's pretty new to me)
notes4: Review so the next chapter doesn't take forever (See the context I used there? lolol).