Secrets

We spent the rest of the day in some kind of souless haze. Ellie didn't crack a joke, Joel didn't glare or growl (which is actually worse) and I didn't have the drive to do anything. The deaths of Sam and Henry hit us all.

We buried them, just outside the radio tower. Ellie made little markers for their graves, a nice touch, if a little needless. We didn't say anything, we just left after that, and never looked back.

I know you're not meant to speak ill of the dead, but what the hell? Why? Why choose death? Why did he have to fucking break? Death doesn't make anything better, it doesn't heal pain, it just fucks everything up more. It leaves the poor bastards like Ellie, Joel, me all fucked up and broken inside. It. Does. Not. Solve. Anything.

Okay, rant over. For now anyway. God only knows what we're going to face next.

We stopped at a cabin for the night. I slept for about an hour maybe, before the haunting imagery of Henry's gunshots made me bolt awake. I sit up, the cold floor of the room making me feel stiff and sore. Joel took the sofa you see, and we gave the bed to Ellie. I could see them both in this single-roomed cabin. I walked about the room as silently as I could, trying to stave away the pain in my back. Joel stirred a little and I froze, but he mumbled something, some girl's name. He was still dreaming. I went over to Ellie, and sat by her.

I couldn't understand that girl, I swear to God. You could tell she had seen some serious stuff, stuff no kid should've never had to see. You could see it in her eyes, that old look of pain and melancholy, but her she is, sleeping peacefully, her movements slow, calm. If I'm honest she reminded me of my... ohfuckohfuckohfuck!

I froze, my breathing laboured again. Loud and panicked. If I wasn't careful I may have waked someone. The thought never really ocurred to me at the time of course, all that I saw, all I could think about was that mark on her arm.

She was bitten.

The dark did nothing to fool me. It was there. Marks like human teeth sunken into her skin, the cold, puss-coloured fungus lined her injury.

Sam, it had to be. She would've turned by now otherwise.

I started to cry then. I knew what would happen, what had to happen. Memories raw in my head. Screams, gunshots, tears. That constant question why? Why?

My shiv was in my hands. I held it gingerly, as if it were hot, twirling it in my trembling fingers.

I had to do it. Joel wouldn't kill her, he wouldn't kill his own girl. I barely knew her, I had to be me.

The thought brought me so much pain. I sat there, crying for God knows how long, when I heard a concerned voice "Kenneth?" I look up. It's Ellie. I must've woken her.

"What's wrong?" she looks at me with those eyes. Eyes so sad, too old and sad and full of concern to be a fourteen-year-olds. My eyes stung with my own tears.

"I'm sorry" I tell her. I lunge.

She spins away, my shiv scratching her cheeks. She cries out in surprise, in alarm. The only thing louder than her cries were my sobs. Something crashes into me. The force of a charging bull sends me crashing into a bookshelf. I'm not knocked out, you get used to these blows, so I strike back, my shiv now fallen from my grasp.

Joel knocks me back against the shelf again, but I had strength to match his. We go sprawling, hitting the cold wooden floor with indentical thuds. He's on his feet faster, and kicks me in the nose. My own blood stains his boot. I recover, and swing my leg at his, unbalancing him. I'm back on my feet, throwing punches that would make any boxer proud, but Joel can take his blows. He hits back, just as hard, just as fast. He swings an arm around my neck, and squeezes.

"Joel, stop!" I hear Ellie's cry.

Joel keeps his hold for a few seconds more, then drops my oxygen-starved body to the floor. I gasp for air, and lie there. I spat out a bloody piece of tooth and tried to rise, only to sink to my knees again, my adrenaline having gone. I started to cry again. "I'm trying to help" I say "She'll kill us all"

"The hell are you talking about?" Joel growled

"SHE'S INFECTED!" I yelled. Joel froze as if he'd been slapped. I look to Ellie, her eyes wide, horrified. "You're infected" my voice barely a whisper.

We were all still, seconds went by, maybe a full minute, before Ellie spoke up, her voice quiet and hesitant "Kenneth, it's not what you think..."

"No!" I snapped "I know what happens! We all know what happens! You get bitten, you die, or you turn. Everyone knows that! Sam bit you, and now you're gonna turn, and then you're gonna try and kill us, just like Sam! Just like..." my voice went quiet "Just like Emma"

Emma. My little sister. So full of life, so trusting. She tried to help the man that bit her, too young to understand. Then one morning she tears my mom's throat out with her teeth. My dad kills her. My dad, guilt-ridden, kills himself. And me, fourteen years old, watched as his entire family dies within the space of ten minutes. Fourteen, and all alone.

And now it was happening all over again.

My crying continued. I look back on that night embarrassed, but when you hit rock bottom, there's no such thing as shame.

"Kenneth" Ellie speaks again "Kenneth, look at me" So I do. I look up at her, her face concerned, eyes shining with restrained tears. "I'm not turning. This bite is old. I'm immune"

"Don't lie to me!" I shouted at her, shooting to my feet "Don't fucking lie to me! No one is immune, no one!"

"It's the truth" she argues, her voice quiet and pleading "I swear"

"She's telling the truth kid" Joel said "I wouldn't have believed it either, but it's true"

I fall back down to my knees, energy spent, out of tears. Ellie crouches down to my level, and holds me in a hug.

"Kenneth" she whispers "Do you trust me?"

I couldn't bring myself to speak, so I answer with a small nod.

"Then trust me. I'm fine. I'm not gonna die"

We hold each other in silence, the sound our breathing the only audible thing in that lonely cabin.

I took a deep, shaky breath.

"Okay"

Author's Note

Well, that was a big moment.

I'm a little unsure if I did this scene credit or to its full potential, so could any readers please leave me some critique (or praise) and tell what I could do to improve something like this at any point in the future.

Anyway, thanks for reading!