Shinji groaned. They let you get kidnapped, shot at, chased like some kind of cheap action movie, and all your father has to say is "You conducted yourself befitting an member of NERV." No 'are you alright?', no 'I was worried about you'. Shinji had learned better than to expect any more than that from Gendo Ikari.

"I'd make you do my homework for a month, but you'd probably ruin my grades," gloated Asuka. Shinji just sat on the couch, staring at some point above and to the right of the tv.

"You have to make my favorite food this whole week!" she declared. Shinji just mumbled something and stared.

Asuka frowned. She had saved the idiot's ass, and this was all the response she got? Then her face lit up with her latest brilliant idea.

"Shinjiiii, I was so worried!" she breathed dramatically, flopping down onto the couch next to him. She threw her arms around his side, pulling his arm into her bosom and molding her body against his. Her breath tickled his neck.

Shinji's brain flipped from 'I hate my dad' to 'ooooh, soft' in record time.

"Um, I'm okay, don't worry." Shinji squirmed. She was really, really close.

"Are you sure, Shinji? Maybe I should check," Asuka managed sultry incredibly well for a 14 year old. Her hands began to unbutton his shirt.

"Err, no I'm okay, I mean, uh, go ahead..." Shinji mumbled, not believing his luck.

Asuka jumped up and cackled. "Oh my god, you really believed it! You little sleazebag. I don't even want to know what that was against my leg."

Mankind everywhere shed a tear for Shinji.

"Uh, go ahead!" she mocked, doing her best Shinji impression, which wasn't very good. "Hikari is going to die! Hahahahaha."

Shinji wanted to sink into the couch cushions, even though he'd probably find beer stains and potato chip crumbs.

"Don't tell anyone, Asuka!" He pleaded, knowing it was pointless.

"Dream on, dweeb, the whole school is hearing about this. The girls deserve to know there's a pervert in their midst." She laughed again, then turned to walk to her room. "And don't think getting kidnapped excuses you from having dinner ready on time, Shinji."

Misato emerged from her room, having changed from her work uniform into the trademark cut-off jean shorts and tshirt. She smiled to herself at the relationship between her two wards. Poor Shinji.

She managed to make flopping down on a couch sexy. There was a lot of Misato to bounce. She cracked open a Yebisu and pulled Shinji into her side. He was tense as a board, then relaxed. As much as a teenage boy could relax when he was pressed into firm, braless D cups.

"Let's watch Gunbuster! I loved that when I was a kid," Misato exclaimed, after swallowing her first mouthful of beer.

"Okay," Shinji agreed, and smiled.

-

Agent Spalding sighed. His pen jabbed angrily into the offending paperwork. Why did he have to work for Section 2? A police officer would have gotten a medal, a nice big press conference, been in the newspaper, had cute girls recognizing him in public. All he got was a 'Nice work out there, Spalding'. He was amazed they hadn't docked his pay for the damage to the car.

He drew his boss's face with an evil moustache on it, then crumpled the form up and grabbed a new one.

-

"Uhh, go ahead," Asuka repeated, adding a manly grunt. The girls of the glass, sans Rei, screamed and shouted for an encore. Her Shinji impression was becoming popular.

Shinji held a mechanical pencil in front of his eye. It would be so easy to stab it in and end it all.

A wary Kensuke quickly pulled it from his hand. The males of the class were gathered around his desk, trying console him.

"Hey, she got all up against you, right!" said Kensuke.

"Yeah, plus you got to feel her boobs, not that they're anything special," agreed Toji.

Asuka shot him a death glare that would punch through an AT field from across the room.

"The left one's way bigger than the other one!" continued Toji, undaunted. "She probably has to custom order freak bras from Germany."

"Toji!" screamed Hikari shrilly. He wasn't supposed to be looking at other girl's breasts in the first place.

"Oh yeah? I'm not the one with pervy pictures of the doll's ass!" retorted Asuka. The girls in the class gasped. Rei averted her gaze from the window to look at Shinji, as it dawned on her Soryu was referring to her.

Shinji made a mad grab for the mechanical pencil, which Kensuke jerked away. Toji grabbed Shinji's shoulders to hold him back.

"You what?" asked Hikari, in a quiet voice that cut through the noise in the room. In some ways, she could be scarier than Asuka.

"Errrrrrrrr," Toji's brain began piecing together an explanation, but the bell for the next class rang. Hikari looked like she wanted to fight it, but following school rules was too deeply ingrained.

"You are in so much trouble," she stated, and stormed out, slamming the door open.

-

Rei stopped Shinji in the hallway.

"Was Soryu merely attempting to tease you?" she asked, staring at Shinji innocently. Which just made him feel worse.

"Err, no. I mean, we found this memory card, and there were these pictures on it. We didn't take it though! You were, uh, swimming. Anyway, it's gone now," the words tumbled out in a rush.

Rei looked confused. "Why would you want pictures of my butt?" she attempted to look at her own butt, which happened to involve turning around and pointing it at Shinji while struggling to look over her shoulder at it. She lifted her skirt, revealing said butt encased in plain white panties. "Doesn't everyone have one?"

Shinji hurriedly pulled her skirt down, glancing around the hallway, which was thankfully empty. "Don't do that, what if someone saw?" he said urgently.

"But you are the only one here. Additionally, you have already seen it in a less covered state when you came to deliver my ID card. You also laid on top of me while I was naked and touched my breast. Did you forget?" Rei seemed honestly confused. Shinji seemed incredibly embarassed.

"That doesn't make it okay now! I mean, they were both wrong, and..." Shinji was at a loss, Rei had conjured up memories that made rational thought difficult. "Well, look, it's over, so don't worry about it. Asuka broke it."

"You don't want me to replace the pictures?" Rei asked curiously.

The look of shock on Shinji's face was exquisite. "Err, no. I mean yeah, I mean, why would you do that? Uhh, that wouldn't be appropriate."

"I see. Nevermind then." Rei nodded to him and walked past, towards their next class.

She happened to pass a certain redhead, leaning against a wall around the corner by a vending machine. For an instant she turned towards her and gave her a very knowing smile.

Asuka saw it and clenched her teeth. The can of juice she just bought crumpled in her hand.

Peach juice puddled on the floor as Shinji walked by obliviously, heading in a different direction.