Alright guys, I am sorry to say this will be the last chapter for this story. Yeah, I know it sucks. But…all good things must come to an end eventually. I really appreciate your taking the time to read my story, cause as I said "a story with no readers is just there." I have also enjoyed your comments. The "You sick cruel, but funny, physco!" comment was priceless. And no Originalatorian, I am not on crack. If milk was crack then yes but….anyway I thank you all. However I do have a small request. I kinda have a bet riding on how many reviews I get so…..for the love of god help me out! I mean that in the most respectful way possible. In conclusion, I hope I went out with a bang and maybe my next story will have just as much or more success. Thank you!
Ridiculous Challenges: Guy Sensei VS Kakashi Sensei
GAMES
Akatsuki Lair
"Master, are you watching Days of Our Ninja again?"
"Shut up! This is an important episode!"
TV:
How could you?!
I'm sorry Lord Hokage, I truly am. I should have told you sooner.
I…I thought we had something special! Was it all a lie?!
No, not at all my Lord. It's just that….I'm pregnant. (Shocking music)
Don't tell me… (More shocking music)
Yes, the father is the sand village's lord Kazakage. (Womp womp womp)
Of all the ninja, him of all people. Why…..why couldn't it just have been an Anbu? Even the whole squad would have been better then the……Kazakage. (Sad music)
My lord….ah, speaking of Anbu I….
Don't tell me…..
(Buzz/Static)
"What the….."
TV: We interrupt this program to bring you a special event, please stand by….
"Oh come on!"
TV: Good evening, and welcome to an event unlike any other before! Broadcasting to you, live from the Hidden Leaf Village…The first ever and most likely the only Kill Sasuke Games! Here are your host: Might Guy and Kakashi Hatake!
Leaf Village Stadium
"Greetings to all, and to all greetings! As mentioned we are coming to you live from the Leaf Village! I'm Might Guy and this is my co. host Kakashi Hatake!"
"That's right Guy. Welcome to the Kill Sasuke Games, an event so enormous we felt the need to hack into all known TV stations just to share it."
"That we did."
"Before we get down to the action, we'd like to take some time to explain….well everything."
"It's the least we could do."
"First, just what is the Kill Sasuke Games?"
"It's a competition, where two teams battle it out to determine the fate of the Leaf Village's own- Sasuke Uchiha! It's life or death!"
"Second, what inspired this….phenomenon?"
"A common hate for one man- Sasuke Uchiha!"
"Third, why should our viewers care?"
"One word…..violence."
"Right….and forth, who will be competing?"
"I don't have a clue, can't really see anything from this booth we're locked in but….we do have a man stationed out in the field! Let's go to Gaara. Gaara, just who will be competing in the Kill Sasuke Games?!"
On the field
"Thank you Guy. It is my understanding that the two teams will consist of 5 players each, and are as follows:
Team Kill- Led by Kisame Hoshigaki, followed by: Naruto Uzumaki, Neji Hyuga, Rock Lee, and Kiba Inuzuka.
Team Sasuke- Led by Sasuke Uchiha, followed by: Orochimaru, Kabuto Yakushi, Sakura Haruno, and Ino Yamanaka.
"Standing with me now is leader of Team Kill, Kisame Hoshigaki. Tell us Kisame, what is your purpose?"
"To kill Sasuke!!!"
"Then go and prove your existence!! Back to you Guy."
"Ah….yes….thank you for that, Gaara. Well, I don't know about you Kakashi but my moneys on Team Sasuke."
"You're betting against your own pupil?"
"It's nothing personal, really."
"You're on."
"Huh?"
"The bet. I mean this is the last chapter and we are still tied in our little contest, so…"
"Ya got a point. Ok, loser admits defeat, recognizes the other as his superior and the other challenges mean nothing."
"Fine."
"Well ladies and gentleman it's time for our first commercial brake, but we'll be right back so stay tuned!"
Akatsuki Lair
"Deidara, get the popcorn."
"Way ahead of you master! Extra butter?"
Leaf Village Stadium
Guy: We are back, live and ready to begin the slaughter! The first event of the day will be (Drum roll) Football!
Kakashi: This is gonna be rich!
Guy: You can say that again! But folks this will be no ordinary football game. We promised you violence so…..things such as: Kunai, shuriken, paper bombs, swords, nun chucks, Taijutsu and most forms of Ninjutsu can be used! No Genjutsu, cause it doesn't look that good on TV.
Kakashi: Well, looks like our team of referees are taking the field.
Guy: Wow. And they look just like Ayame, Shikamaru, Konohamaru and Shino.
Kakashi: Let's just go to the field shall we.
On the field
"We will be your referees. Team Sasuke, call heads or tails."
Ayame flips coin.
"Heads."
Coin lands on tails
"Team Kill, will you receive or punt?"
"Receive, of course."
"Very well. Teams take your positions."
(Whistle blows)
Kakashi: There's the kick off!
Guy: And it looks like Lee will be receiving for Team Kill. Lee has the ball and….
"Gate of li…"
"Noooo!"
"Huh?"
"Don't just open the gates like that!" yelled Neji.
"Just run, we'll cover you!" said Kisame. "C'mon Naruto."
Guy: Its total mayhem folks! Shadow and water clones of Lee have covered the field, but which one is the real Lee!
"Blast!" Yelled Orochimaru "Cursed clones!"
"Shut up and cut!" Snapped Sasuke. "Fire style: Fireball jutsu!"
Kakashi: Tsk, tsk. You'll have to do better than that Sasuke.
"Forget this! Reanimation!"
(Whistle blows)
Kakashi: That can't be good.
Guy: Let's see what our refs have to say.
"Illegal jutsu, defense, 30 yard penalty. 1st down!"
"What?!" Screamed Orochimaru "Illegal jutsu?! Illegal jutsu?! Are you frickin retarded?!"
"Orochimaru, this is your first warning."
"Wa…warning?! How dare you, I'm one of the frickin Sanen!"
Kakashi: And it looks like some altercation is taking pla..(Hacking sound)…oh, ah lets….oh god.. th.."
Guy: Cut to commercial, cut to commercial! Are you deaf?! Turn the camera off!"
Kakashi: Run Ayame Run!
Guy: Where's the camera crew?! We can't show this kinda violence on TV!
Kakashi: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Camera crew (Somewhere on the field)
"Lord Orochimaru is so…..cool."
"Yes, the way he swings that sword with his tongue is like….perfection."
"Hey guys, the booth just called and they want us to turn to commercial. Like, now."
"But this is like, the best part."
"I know but…."
"Since when do you listen to trash like that?!"
"Wha…Watch your mouth fatso!"
"You….you said you weren't gonna call me fat anymore!" (Sob)
"Lo…aright I'm sorry Jirobo, I didn't mean to call you…ya know."
"…….."
"Just….Can you please turn to commercial? Please?"
"Fine."
"Thank you. Im gonna go find Tayuya, she's takin to long with the food."
Guy: We are back and….one referee short.
Kakashi: While you were away Orochimaru was ejected from the football game, and Team Kill grabbed an easy victory. By the way, if anybody would like to fill in the Last referee spot please call us.
Guy: Before we move on to the next game, a poll question for the audience. We want to know who you think will take home the gold, and possibly Sasuke's head. We'll announce the results later in the show.
Kakashi: Game 2 is already underway so let's go to the Field. Its baseball by the way.
On the Field
Guy: Kabuto has managed to prevent a home run so far, but with the bases loaded and one more batter left, how will he do?
"Heck no, that's cheating!"
"How is this cheating?!"
"You can't use a sword for a bat! Use a wooden one like everybody else!"
"Ur just scared."
"N…Ref!"
Shikamaru, Konohamaru and Shino slowly approach Kabuto.
"Ah..wh…wah….what seems to be the problem?"
"Tell this fool he cannot use that giant sword!"
"Well..see….actually he ah….ca…ca can."
"The he…!"
"Kabuto!" Said Sasuke "Just let it go. He can use the stupid sword all he wants, we're still gonna catch the ball…Ok."
"Stupid…."
Kakashi: And there's the pitch a..(Unpleasant grinding sound)
Guy: God dag! Kabuto just got lit!
"My eye Lord Orochimaru, my eye!!!"
Guy: And Kisame has just led his team to yet another victory.
Kakashi: That's just..g…somebody get that man some Neosporin.
Guy: At least he caught the ball.
Akatsuki Lair
"Good one Kisame!"
"Four eyes didn't know what hit him!"
(Laughter)
Guy: I think this calls for a break, don't you?
Kakashi: Yeah ah, we'll be back as soon as……possible
Kakashi: We are back and reconsidering this whole live thing. Seriously, we are.
Guy: Folks, We're approving the halfway mark of our program. And what would half time be without special entertainment? So without further ado here's Neji and Kisame singing a duet: The award winning theme song for the hit movie titanic, My heart will go on!
On the Field
"This song is dedicated to Itachi Uchiha and Tenten. We miss and love you both."
Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwwww
(Music starts)
Neji: Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Kisame: Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Both: Near far wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
"You're both frickin gay!" Yelled Orochimaru
Akatsuki Lair
"All in favor of kicking Kisame out of the Akatsuki say I."
(All) "I!"
"Gay I tell you, gay!" Ranted Orochimaru.
Both (Neji and Kisame): You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on
(Music stops and audience cheers)
"Booooooo!" continued Orochimaru "Kabuto, help me boo!"
"Yes, Lord Orochimaru. Boooooooo, you suck!" (Kabuto now wears an eye patch over one eye)
Kakashi: Let's take a small commercial break
Kakashi: We are back and ready to begin the 3rd event- The relay race!
On the field
"Runners take your marks. Get set. Go!!"
Guy: And they are off! Kabuto in front with Neji not far behind.
Kakashi: This is a critical race for Team Sasuke. If they lose this, it'll be the end for Sasuke.
Guy: Both runners approaching the hand off point. Still neck and neck.
Kakashi: Clean hand-off, and now it's Kiba and Ino battling it out!
Guy: Ino seems to be struggling, but somehow keeping it close.
Kakashi: Close indeed. Second hand-off coming up!
(Hand-off to Naruto and Sakura)
Guy: Until now, I never noticed how annoying orange and pink are.
Kakashi: You have no idea. Anyway, while that's going on, let's take a moment to check those poll results.
Guy: I completely forgot about that.
(Hand-off to Kisame and Orochimaru)
Kakashi: Show the results!
(Results come up)
Kakashi: Looks like 78 of you think Team Kill will be victor, while the other 22 are sticking with team Sasuke.
(Hand off to Lee and Sasuke)
"This is no good, Sakura."
"Yeah. Lee's to fast, even for Sasuke."
"We have to do something."
"Like what? They're on the other side of the field."
"…….I got an idea. Quick, follow me!"
Kakashi: What incredible speed! The final 2 runners are approaching the finish line. It looks as if Team Kill will have a clean sweep and Guy will suffer a damaging blow to his ego.
Guy: Shut up!
"Hurry up Sakura!"
"Ino, can you at least tell me what we're doing?!"
"Shhhhh! Here they come!"
Kakashi: It's over folks! Team Kill has….
"Hey Lee, Sakura's not wearing any underwear!!!"
Lee trips, followed by the sound of flesh being ripped by pavement.
Kakashi: Lord Jesus!
(Buzz/ Static)
TV: We are terribly sorry, this program has been temporarily stopped due to graphic nature of Lee's injures. We will resume momentarily, thank you.
Guy: Sorry about that delay folks, but we are back. Before we continue, we'd like to give you an update on Rock Lee.
Kakashi: Amazingly, Lee is alive. But, due to losing 97 of his skin he will not be able to compete anymore.
Guy: I figured something like this would happen. The boys just too eager, always jumping without thinking (sigh)
Kakashi: You're one to talk. Anyway….Since we didn't think something like this would happen, a replacement has been randomly picked.
Guy: Random indeed. The person replacing Lee will be (Drum roll) none other than Hinata Hyuga!
Kakashi smacks his forehead.
Guy: (Snickers) Looks like you're gonna be the one losing this bet Kakashi! Let's go down to the field, where the next game is about to start. By the way, Team Sasuke won the last event cause….well…..they just won. Next game: Volley ball!
On the field
"Team Sasuke to serve." (Whistle blows)
"This'll be easy." Laughed Sasuke.
(Sasuke hits the ball, intentionally aiming at Hinata)
Guy: There's the serve!
Instead of hitting the ball, she cowardly dodges.
Guy: And Team Sasuke has scored the 1st point of the game!
Kakashi: This can't be happening.
Guy: Oh, but it is.
(Team Sasuke scores another point)
Kaskahi: This can't be happening.
Guy: It is Kakashi, it is.
(Another point)
Kakashi slams his head on the table.
Guy: Ladies and gentleman, there's really no reason for you to see this massacre so let's take another commercial break but when we return; more madness and more of Kakashi crying up next!
Guy: Welcome back! Team Sasuke has just crushed Team Kill 60 to 0, no lie. I don't even think a 60 in Volley Ball is possible. It was pretty pathetic actually, not as pathetic as Kakashi and Hinata crying like little girls but still pathetic.
Kakashi: I was not crying!
Guy: Whatever, let's go down to the field for the final event: Soccer! With the score tied at 2, who will emerge victorious?!
On the field
The Teams are huddled, no doubt strategizing.
Team Sasuke:
All 5 stand and sharpen their weapons while laughing with sickening evilness. The laughter is so evil, a foul aura can be seen flowing from the Team.
Team Kill:
"We are so dead."
"Don't worry." Said Kiba "I have a plan."
"What kinda plan?"
"Like I said, don't worry."
"…….."
Kiba grabs Hinata and drags her to the locker room.
3 minutes later
Guy: And it looks like the teams are ready
Kakashi: Let the final battle begin!
(Whistle blows)
Kakashi: And it's Team Sasuke who take 1st possession! Look at Orochimaru go!
"I'll end this quickly!" said the Sanen as he ran down the field. In a matter of seconds, having easily out maneuvering Kiba and Naruto and slithering his way past Kisame, Orochimaru was now yards from Neji. (Neji and Kabuto are the goalies)
"It's ov…..gaaa…err."
The everyone is driven to silence as Hinata has just used her gentle fist technique pierce Orochimaru's organs.
Guy and Kakashi: Oh…
Audience: My…
Akatski: Frickin…
"God!" Yelled Orohimaru as he fell to the ground.
The whole stadium became trapped in a daze of shock and fear.
"That's impossible." Said Neji, using his byakugan to examine the true extent of the sanen's injures. "Impossible!"
"Wh…..who is this chick!!" stuttered Kisame, now hugging his sword in fear.
"No way."
"Get up lord Orochimaru!" pleaded Kabuto "Please, get u…"
Before Kabuto could finish his sentence, Hinata had already kicked the ball. Ripping past the still stunned Sasuke, Ino and Sakura the projectile makes its way toward Kabuto. The slow reacting four eyed ninja manages to deflect it…….with his other eye.
"My other eye!!!"
Kabuto falls to his knees. Unable to do anything but bear the pain from his bleeding eye and possibly cracked cranium, Kabuto sits and moans. Hinata prepares for the second kick, this one couldn't possibly miss.
Kakashi: She's kicking it again!
The audience cringes as Hinata kicks the ball.
"Chidori!!"
The ball implodes on impact, leaving shreds of soccer ball raining onto the field.
"Don't take us so lightly!" Sasuke cried as he charged for Hinata.
Kakashi: I think it's safe to say, this isn't a game anymore.
Guy: You're probably right.
Kakashi: Probably?!
Meanwhile, Sasuke and Hinata display such amazing Taijutsu that Lee is brought to tears.
"Such amazing Taijutsu." Cried Lee
"Lee?!!" pointed Naruto "You're not supposed to be here!"
"Naruto, we are a team. No matter what the cost, no matter the pain we must see to it that Sasuke is destroyed. Is that not what we promised to do? For the sake of that promise, my friends, and my ninja way, I will continue to fight!"
"You can't fight, you don't have any skin!!"
"Skin or not, I will fight!"
"Lee."
"He's right." Said Kisame, hurling his sword at Sasuke.
Sasuke has no choice, and is forced to leap away from Hinata.
The two teams face off, staring at one another with a great intensity. Even the audience is drawn in. The intensity was so great that everyone failed to realize that Orochimaru was up and making hand signs, with the sound four standing around him.
"Summoning Jutsu!!"
Kakashi: Ok, this is really getting out of hand! Where are the referees?!
(Shikamaru, Shino and Konohamaru hightailed it out of there right about after Orochimaru was floored by Hinata)
Guy: Gone Kakashi, gone.
Kakashi: Oh boy.
"There's no way you can win!" Laughed Orochimaru, still in pain.
"Oh yeah?!" replied Naruto "Summoning Jutsu!"
The whole audience literally falls out of their seats after seeing Gamakichi.
Kakashi: What the fu…
(Guy slaps his hand over Kakashi's mouth)
Guy: My thoughts exactly, but we can't say that on national television….or in this story for that matter.
"This is ridiculous!" Yelled Sasuke "Let's just kill them already!"
And so the battle began. A splendid battle indeed. The audience was mesmerized……that is until people started getting killed by stray projectiles and jutsu. Then they ran like heck.
Guy: I think it's time to leave.
Kakashi: Right behind you.
Tsunade's office (3 weeks later)
"This is an S ranked mission. The both of you will need to work together."
"No problem, Lady Tsunade."
"I trust there will be no stupid games of any kind."
"None whatsoever."
"Good, now get out."
Leaf Village Gate
Guy and Kakashi await the arrival of their teams.
"You guys are late."
"Sorry Kakashi sensei." Said Sakura "Those two idiots took forever!"
"It's not my fault!" pointed Kisame. "The Ramen stand was Naruto's idea!"
"My fault?! You're the one who ordered fish sticks!"
"So?!"
"Why can't you guys be happy? It's a beautiful day." Sang Neji as he skips along with Tenten "Smile, smile, smile."
"Ya know, ever since Neji cloned Tenten he's been gettin creepier." Said Lee.
"Lee?! Why are you here?!" Yells everyone.
"Skin or not, I will fight!"
Cow Ninja
Well, as I said this is the last chapter for this story. Thank you all again.
P.S: Just what did Kiba do to Hinata in the locker room? Was it something he said? I want to know what you guys think. If you can, post your thoughts in the review section. By all means be creative, daring and bold. Try to keep it T- rated please, no foul language please. Thank you!!!!
And yes, Sasuke is dead. "Celebrate good times, c'mon!"
And no, nobody wins this challege. It's a tie!