[Chapter 9]

Title: Numb

Note: All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Edward folded his arms, one leg crossed behind the other, body tilted to the door frame for support, his head cocked to one side. He physical being reminded me of the visitors in an art museum when they were admiring an art piece. His indescribable expression tells me that he was unfamiliar with what he was seeing but yet intrigued by it at the same time. It was a weird combination, but it was what Edward's face showed and I was the 'art piece'.

A minute latter, Edward's expression changed. Now he had a cheesy smirk on his face, accompanied by hungry looking eyes. What was going through that mind of his? He sashayed his way to me, giving me the sinister I'm-going-to-F-you look. He took the book from my hands snapping it shut and throwing it behind him. He knelt on top of me, knees on either side of my waist. I stayed still, not moving at all.

"Your new tactic makes me hard…" He whispered. His face was so intense, I felt like a prey and Edward was the predator. The feeling was scary and nerve wrecking. I gulped down the ball of saliva that was oddly stuck at the back of my throat.

"Edward…" I gasp. His fingers were now skillfully unbuttoning my jeans.

"Hush now my Bella…" His words came out ever so softly. "Its all about the pleasure now…" Edward sounded so sincere and intent on having sex with me. He was one of those noble men out there who appreciates and respects sexual intercourses with his partner. He didn't like to rush. He was always very pleasant and affectionate in pleasuring me, filling me up with the highest level of satisfaction there was.

But somewhere in my heart there was a cut. A cut caused by all this unexplainable happenings in my life. The cut is growing, growing with doubt, growing with fear, growing with despair. Will Edward be able to mend this injured heart, now that he was the one who caused the injury?

I sat up and took hold of Edward's hands, which were now pulling my jeans off my legs. He stopped what he was doing and looked up. The expression on his face immediately changing from desperation and hunger to curiosity and concern.

"Bella, what…what happened? Did…did I do something wrong?" He began to splutter his words. This was first time I hear Edward splutter. He cupped my face with both his hands, his thumbs smoothing out my cheeks, my tear stained cheeks.

"Not tonight Edward. Not tonight…" Was all I could say. I couldn't bring myself to do it with Edward tonight. My heart was hurting, it was hurting real bad.

Edward pulled me into a hug straight away, without hesitation. I hugged Edward like I have never hugged him before. The hug was so tight, so compact, and so full of love. I buried my face in his chest, tears uncontrollably streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry Edward… I'm so sorry… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" I kept repeating over and over. I didn't know if Edward could hear me from all the weeping sounds I was making.

"Shh Bella… It's ok… Shh… Shh…It's alright… Shh…" Edward said, over and over again. Everything in me felt so jumbled up, I even forgotten what my middle name was. All I know was that I needed to let all this out, whatever 'this' might be. I couldn't handle the pressure anymore…

After what seems like eternity, my crying subsided to sobs, then finally coming to a stop. We were still in a hugging position.

"Are you feeling ok now, love?" Edward asked in a soft whisper.

I wanted to open my mouth to say I was alright, but all the crying seemed to have temporarily damaged my voice box. So, I just nodded my head. He withdrew himself from the way-too-long hugging position we were in and set his hands on my shoulders.

"Now… Do you want to tell me what happened?" Edward's voice came out concerned yet firm. Edward could sense that something was wrong. You can see it in his eyes that he wanted to know what the problem was. But how am I suppose to tell him about the problem, when he and Victoria WAS the problem?

I shook my head as my throat still sore from all the crying. I prayed hard that Edward would let the matter rest and not pursue my sudden emotional breakdown issue.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked again to confirm. He was being so nice about it, I really felt like telling him everything. But my feelings were all in a mess now, plus I didn't want Edward to think that I didn't trust him and stuff. Edward loves me so much, he will never cheat on me, particularly with a woman like Victoria. It's just a stupid misunderstanding. You're looking too much into it Bella. It's not what you think it is. You're getting it all wrong…

"I'm fine Edward." My voice croaked. "I was just feeling a little down and exhausted lately. I'm really sorry for stopping… us… like that. I really am… sorry." I didn't know why I was apologizing…

"It's alright Bella. Just remember that I will always be here when you need me. I will not leave you in the lurch Bella. Trust me; I will never leave you alone. So feel free to lean on my shoulders anytime ok? And tell me if you are facing any problems, any problems at all. Your problems are mine too. We will face them together, understand? You're never alone Bella, never was, never will be." Edward guaranteed his love for me again and again. Edward loves me, he will never hurt me…

I nodded in reply. I felt the urge to cry again, but not out of despair, this time it was out of my love for Edward. My Edward…

A yawn escaped my lips and Edward gave a low chuckle. He always laughed at me when I yawn; he says I look cute when I do that.

"You want me to rock you to sleep?" Edward asked.

I nodded in delight. Somehow, I liked the feeling of being rocked to sleep. It feels like I have gone back in time to when I was a baby and was constantly in my mother's arms. I will automatically feel safe, secured and loved.

A warm smile forms on Edward's now glowing face. We readjusted our positions a little. Edward sat Indian-styled while resting his back on the headboard. I climbed onto his lap and sat sideways, legs hanging over his left thigh. Edward held me like how a person holds a baby and starts rocking me in a slow motion, humming my lullaby. Soon, all remnants of the emotional breakdown I had earlier vanished.

My eyes that were dried-out from all the crying shut itself and I finally dozed off in Edward's arms…

A/N: School starts in 1 day's time for me. So I'm not able to write that often anymore. But I will try to rush out chapters as soon as possible. I seek your understanding. Please please please leave a comment after reading. I love comments, it's all the drive I need to continue writing! Criticisms are welcomed too! :)