A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters, and to the wonderful BK2U, who has been tirelessly beta-reading this story for me despite the way it keeps getting longer! I really appreciate the help.
This chapter is much less evil than the last two, but it does focus heavily on the theme of abuse, so if that's a trigger for you, be warned.
Chapter 10: The Mother Load
It takes almost three months before Tobias decides to contact his mother. Tris is patient with him throughout the process, listening to his arguments for and against the idea and periodically asking him questions that make him rethink everything. Her own opinions seem to vary as much as his, based largely on what else they've been discussing from their pasts at that time.
It's not surprising that Tris would identify with Evelyn sometimes, given the similarities to how Peter treated her. But eventually Tobias comes to realize that his own view is based on the same comparisons. When their discussions move to the incredibly difficult topic of sexual abuse, for instance, Tobias is fully prepared to excuse his mother for anything and everything she's ever done, based on even the remotest chance that Marcus did those same things to her.
He barely sleeps for days after that particular set of revelations, only managing a few hours at a time by working out at the gym until his legs are rubbery and his knuckles are bleeding. He alternates between imagining that the punching bags are Peter and Marcus.
Tris joins him there after he describes the time his whipped back became infected from his own feces, after Marcus beat him to a pulp and then locked him in a dark closet for three days. By the time he emerged, he was so dehydrated and covered with pus, his father was forced to tend to his wounds or risk having him die – and being charged with murder.
Tobias was nine at the time, dazed by his mother's abandonment, but he still knows exactly which scars are left from the incident. Tris traces them over and over, almost obsessively, as she lies awake the night after that conversation.
There's a stretch where it seems like neither of them will run out of horror stories to tell, but gradually, they somehow get through the worst of it. And with that, Tobias finds himself feeling stronger in ways he didn't expect. He's more aware now that he's a survivor – that no matter how much Marcus tried to take him down, the monster failed.
Tris is quick to remind him of that, and to tell him that he's a far better human being than his father. From his own perspective, Tobias knows that his life is way beyond anything he imagined during his childhood. And most importantly, he knows that he loves and is loved in a way that Marcus will never experience. Every time he looks at Tris, he feels the full effect of that reality.
For her part, Tris seems more secure now, too. There's a new confidence in the way she walks, and she's so proud when she receives her green belt that she actually invites her friends to the ceremony. She touches Tobias more freely than ever, too, with a complete and utter trust that warms him through his entire being.
So, when Tobias finally announces that he'd like to have his mother over for lunch, Tris solemnly agrees. Unfortunately, the options for actually contacting her are limited, since she gave him nothing but a phone number to work with – and he can't bring himself to let a phone conversation be the first discussion they have in decades.
He's relieved when Tris offers to do it for him, even if he does go a bit nuts listening to his fiancée's side of the call without hearing Evelyn's responses.
He's a nervous wreck when the actual day arrives, convinced that she'll hate him or he'll hate her, or more likely both. It doesn't help when things start out awkwardly. Evelyn stares at him, reaching for him a couple of times as if she wants to hug him or at least shake his hand or maybe just ensure he's real. But she draws back each time, clearly uncertain how to proceed.
Tobias, in turn, is struggling between the desire to embrace his long-lost mother and to stay far away from the abandoning traitor, and he's sure he's radiating signals that should send her scrambling for the hills.
Eventually, she takes an uneasy seat, perched on the edge of a chair while Tobias and Tris take the couch, their nearness comforting each other in the presence of this unknown element.
"You seem to be doing well, Tobias," Evelyn starts hesitantly, her eyes flitting around the comfortable apartment. He nods once, very stiffly. "What…what sort of work do you do?"
"I'm a computer programmer," he mutters.
"Oh." She stares at her hands, and he wonders if she actually heard him. "That's good." After a moment, she glances up again. "I'm not surprised. You were always so smart as a child."
He can't help the bitterness in his reply. "I guess I avoided brain damage from all the beatings."
Evelyn flinches, and Tris takes Tobias' hand, squeezing it firmly. He's not sure if it's a reminder that she's there for him or that he should at least try to be friendly.
"He didn't…" Evelyn stutters, her expression filled with a disbelief that looks obviously fake to Tobias. "Surely he didn't continue that after I left?"
It seems like the most blatantly idiotic statement he's ever heard, and he snaps his reply. "It got far worse." His voice drops to a growl. "But you know that. You must have known that if you took away one of his punching bags, he'd double up on the other."
She wrings her hands together, refusing to look up as she answers. "I swear, Tobias, I thought he would stop. It was always me he was angry at. He always blamed me."
"Abusers usually blame their victims," Tris states comfortingly, but given the way her hand is gripping Tobias', he's not sure which of them she's trying to reassure. "Didn't they talk about that at the shelter?" Her gaze is level on Evelyn's. "Didn't they warn you that Tobias wouldn't be safe with his father?"
His mother shakes her head quickly. "I didn't go to a shelter. It would have been too dangerous, given all of Marcus' contacts. He would have found me there."
There's silence for a moment at that, before Tris asks, "Where did you go?" There's an edge to her voice that Tobias can't quite identify.
Evelyn stiffens, her expression evasive now. "I stayed with…a friend. One Marcus didn't know."
The excuse rankles something inside Tobias. If his mother had a friend who was willing to take the risk of helping her – one his father didn't know about – why wouldn't she have taken him, too?
Evelyn seems to read his mind.
"I thought you'd be better off with Marcus," she stammers, sounding even less convincing now. "I didn't have any money to take care of you, and I honestly believed that he would be kinder without me there. That you'd be safe. And I had to leave." She looks at him desperately. "He would have killed me if I hadn't."
Tobias shakes his head firmly. "No one is saying you shouldn't have left. But you couldn't possibly have been dumb enough to imagine I'd be safe with him."
Tris interrupts before his mother can respond. "It wasn't a friend, was it?" Her hand grips his like a vice. "It was a boyfriend."
The words slam into Tobias, and he knows immediately that they're true. His father made so many comments over the years – hints and accusations and insults about his wife – that it's not hard to believe she was unfaithful. Particularly given the guilt on his mother's face right now.
There's anger in Tris' tone as she presses on. "Did he even know you had a child? Or was he only willing to take you by yourself – was that it?"
It sparks a retort from Evelyn. "You have no idea what my life was like. Marcus was planning to kill me. I had to run, and Tony was the only person who could possibly have protected me. Marcus had far too much power for any other option to work."
Tobias' entire body goes rigid at the admission, and at the realizations that are starting to work their way through him. "You didn't want a court battle, did you?" he finally snarls. "You left me there to avoid that. Because it was easier for you to get away without me."
Evelyn looks dumbstruck, guilt radiating from her entire form. "Marcus never would have let you go…. And he had people who would have lied for him, who would have sworn that Tony was the one who gave us all those injuries. There was nothing I could do."
"So you didn't even try?" The words are a roar of rage, and Tobias is on his feet as he shouts them. "You just ran away, knowing exactly what he would do to me afterwards? How he would retaliate?"
He turns away, ripping his shirt off and exposing his scarred back, making sure his mother sees the full impact of her abandonment. "Do you have any idea how many times he almost killed me?" he growls over his shoulder.
In that instant, Tris is on her feet, too, her hands soothing on Tobias' back and side as she murmurs something he can't seem to hear right now.
Evelyn's voice cuts through his thoughts. "If I'd stayed, you would have had to watch me die. Is that what you wish had happened?"
Tobias can feel the movement as his fiancée turns to face his mother. "I think it's time for you to leave." Her voice is firm and fierce and protective all at once, and he loves her more than ever for it.
But Evelyn clearly isn't ready to give up yet. "Don't look at me like that," she snarls. "You have no right to judge me. You can't imagine what my life was like."
It's the wrong thing to say, and there's barely a pause before Tris answers. "I know exactly what your life was like." Her tone adds a new definition to coldness. "I was in that same position a few years ago. Which is why I know I would never leave a child in a situation like that. You can make all the excuses you want, but you did what was best for you, not him. And he's the one who suffered for it."
In an odd way, Tobias draws strength from the words. Perhaps it's because he and Tris have been describing their pasts to each other, and he's so used to having her presence heal him afterwards. Regardless, he turns back around, able to face his mother as long as his fiancée is by his side. Vaguely, he realizes that they're all standing now, and he finds himself pressing close to Tris, continuing to take comfort from her nearness.
Evelyn's eyes move back and forth between them, anger and jealousy and desperation causing her expression to grow more and more livid as the long seconds pass.
"Tobias," she finally begins, "you have to believe me. I am your mother. Your family. And I would never just abandon you, despite what this stupid girl may think."
Whatever point she was attempting to make is lost to Tobias' fury. Moving past Tris, he glares Evelyn down. "Get the hell out of here," he growls. For a moment, his mother opens her mouth to protest, but he continues ferociously. "Tris is the only reason you're here at all, the only reason I was willing to give you any kind of a chance. She is my family, not you and certainly not Marcus." With a withering look, he adds, "I will not put up with you insulting her."
It's a resounding statement, and it echoes through the silence in the room afterwards as both women stare at him, shocked.
"Tobias," his mother tries again, sounding suddenly small. "I wasn't trying to…. She doesn't know what she's talking about, that's all."
But he just shakes his head. "No more excuses. It's time for you to leave. Again." His eyes are almost black as he gestures unambiguously toward the door. "It's what you're best at, after all."
And slowly, hesitantly, she does. She looks back multiple times, fidgeting in a clear desire to fix this or change it or somehow make it go the way she wanted. But she doesn't come up with a way, and eventually she walks out of their apartment, closing the door behind her.
Tobias makes a point of locking the deadbolt before leaning his forehead against the hard wood panel, trying to collect his thoughts. He can feel Tris coming up behind him, standing a few feet away as she watches him uncertainly.
"You didn't have to kick her out for me, you know," she murmurs after a moment.
A humorless laugh comes out of him. "Tris, you are the best thing in my life. No one is allowed to mess with you."
He faces her, taking in the wildness of her expression – filled with love and protectiveness and residual anger. It makes her even more beautiful than usual.
Taking her hand, he leads her back to the couch, sitting down and pulling her into his lap. He just wants her presence right now.
She wraps her arms around him, pulling him close. "I love you so much, Tobias." The whisper breaks partway through, but he ignores that, instead seeking out her lips and kissing her deeply.
"I love you, too, Tris."
They're silent for a long moment, breathing each other's air and taking strength from the contact between them.
"And for the record," Tris adds softly, "I would never cheat on you. That's not the kind of person I am."
He pauses, thinking about how much damage his mother did to him with her affair, and about that awful morning three months ago that cemented his own view on the subject.
"There's something I should tell you," he begins before realizing that's a terrible start. Tris pulls back sharply, her eyes accusing as she stares at him in shock.
"No," he adds quickly, "not that. I didn't mean…. God, no, Tris." It takes several long seconds before she accepts his verbal diarrhea as reassurance. She nods warily, still maintaining a little distance as he attempts to continue.
"But that night, when I scared you by mistake and you kicked me out, I got really, really drunk. The most drunk I've ever been. Uriah and Marlene took me back to her apartment, as you know, but I didn't remember that at all when I woke up in the morning. Instead, I got up in some strange woman's apartment, in her bed, with my clothes scattered all over the floor."
He swallows hard. "I thought I'd…. Well, you can imagine what I thought. And Tris, it was the single worst moment of my life." He meets her eyes guiltily. "Not all the times my father beat me, or locked me in the closet. Not when I had to watch him beat my mother. Not even when she left." He shakes his head. "No, thinking that I'd betrayed you, and that I'd lose you because of it – that was the absolute worst feeling I've ever experienced."
Her expression softens, and she touches his cheekbone gently. He clears his throat before adding, "As it turns out, I wouldn't let anyone but Uri near me, but I still decided right then that I would never get drunk again. And I can absolutely guarantee you that I will never cheat on you."
He places his hands on either side of her face, pulling her closer as he whispers, "I want you to understand that I am not like either of my parents. And I swear to you that I never will be."
"I know," she answers, her eyes still managing to hold his even though they're barely inches apart. "Of course I know that, Tobias. It's a large part of why I love you."
He smiles as he brings her the rest of the way to him, his lips claiming hers. It takes a long time before he speaks again. "Only part, huh?" he murmurs as his mouth moves slowly along her jawline, playing along all the sensitive spots on the way.
Her hands run up the muscles of his abdomen before splaying across his chest. "Well," she says lightly, "I have to leave some room for the whole Four thing."
A/N: There are still at least three chapters left in this story, since yet another one has worked its way into my mind. I think that 13 will probably be it, but then again, I thought this was just a one-shot, so who knows... Anyway, please let me know what you thought of this chapter. Your reviews really do encourage me tremendously. :-)