A/N. Do any of you hate your parents sometimes? I mean, like REALLY just want to scream at them? Well, you're certainly not alone. And if you're young and living with your parents and agreeing, well, here's some fair warning - even when you're moved out and doing well for yourself, it doesn't get better. That is a solid promise. I once asked my father how the printer worked and he started screaming at me. Ahh, family.
Okay, now that I got that out of my system, here's the next chapter :)
...~oOo~...
Chapter Ten: Stuck
Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Hermione saw Sirius's eyes glaze over it wasn't long after that he slowly tipped to the side and collided into Hermione's shoulder, completely asleep. He sat there, completely out, cheek pressed into her arm and snoring lightly.
Hermione had to admit, she wasn't paying much attention to the film either. It was a great deal more boring than the version from her own time period. Leonardo DiCaprio made a two-hour long movie scintillating while Clifton Webb made a 98-minute ordeal boring.
So she allowed her mind to wander. She thought about home, mostly. Her parents. In the timeline she was currently stuck in, they were only just married and starting their own dentistry practice. But in her own time, she'd just wiped herself from their minds and they were living as Wendell and Monica Wilkins in Australia. It made Hermione said - in neither timelines did they know her. It made her fell... alone. Orphaned, almost.
And she missed Ron and Harry. Mostly Ron, if she was being honest. Not because she didn't love Harry, she absolutely did, but she'd carried very real feelings for Ron for quite some time and now the potential for it to become something more was... gone.
She was acting like a silly girl, she knew that. How could she possibly be upset about losing the opportunity to have Ron as a boyfriend while she was stuck in what might as well have been another universe. She was so completely lost, even her thoughts weren't making much sense anymore. Every second of her day was spent stuffing down the panic that was threatening to burst from her pores.
Hermione was jolted from her reverie when she heard the Titanic start to sink, and Sirius started from his sleep as well and, very suave and not even acknowledging that he'd fallen asleep on her, resumed his attention on the movie.
By the end, Sirius was simpering.
"So stupid!" he exclaimed as the credits started. "They made such a big deal about that bloke giving up his seat in the lifeboat for that boy, when really any half-decent person would have done the same exact thing!"
"You'd be surprised how many people wouldn't," Hermione said as she went to the projector to turn it off. The room went completely dark except for the stream of silver moonlight through the window. Otherwise, Sirius was just a shadow in the room.
"Anyone who isn't a Slytherin would," Sirius groused.
"So you would have?"
"Of course!" Sirius declared, standing straight up out of the desk. "Especially for a woman or child. Not for Snivellus, though."
Hermione's eyebrows shot to her hairline.
Sirius amended reluctantly, "Oh, fine. Sure. I would give up my seat in the lifeboat for Snape. Happy? I would die for that scum. Does that improve your opinion of me any?"
"If you had to choose one person in the school," Hermione said, smiling lightly, "to give your seat to if we were all sinking - there's the same amount of lifeboats as in the movie, about half of them are already filled - who would you give it to?"
"Simple," Sirius said. "McGonagall. I'm madly in love with her."
Snorting, Hermione said, "I'm serious!"
To her surprise, he didn't make a pun about his name and instead fell into a thoughtful silence. He mused, "Well, James, Remus, and Pete are my best friends, but... they could take care of themselves. And if I offered, they probably wouldn't accept. Except possibly Peter, but he's a scared little fellow. And Lily Evans would punch me, not to mention she was likely already coerced into taking James's seat, so... probably you."
Shell-shocked, Hermione said at length, "Me? Why me?"
He shrugged. "Because, you're the only person in this school I bother with."
"Even if you hate me?"
There was a pause before Sirius said, "Not hate. Not anymore."
And Hermione hadn't a clue what to say in return, so she said nothing.
...~oOo~...
That night, the Marauders all slummed around their dormitory. James was spending yet another night with them, something about his not trusting entering the Heads' rooms ever since the start of the prank war. And who could blame him? Lily was downright vindictive when she wanted to be.
Sirius had just finished explaining the entire ending of The Titanic to his friends. Peter was enthralled. Remus was intrigued, but doing his homework at the same time. James was bored.
And Sirius went on, "... but wasn't that cool? The machinery was pretty cool, too. The Projecterator was interesting, you'll have to ask her to show you sometime.
"Anyway, lately I've been thinking, maybe I was wrong about her scent," Sirius said casually, rolling onto his stomach. "That or there's a thousand perfectly acceptable reasons why she would smell like my parents' house. Anyway, she's a muggle-born, so it is highly improbable she's been anywhere near my house, much more in it -"
"Does anyone want to address the Hippogriff in the room?" James asked, looking back and forth between Remus and Peter. "Or shall I?"
"Go right on ahead," Remus said, turning the page of his textbook.
Peter was looking around the room, curious about why Remus and James saw the Hippogriff and not him.
Sirius's brow furrowed. "Whattaya mean?"
"The proverbial Hippogriff," James stressed for Peter's sake, "is that every night for a week you've walked into this room, declared how much you hate Hermione before talking about her for hours. And you still won't say her name. It's sort of... worrying, actually. It's like your obsessed but I can't tell if it's a positive or negative obsession."
Remus looked up from his book. "There is no such thing as a positive obsession, James, no matter how much you've told yourself that it's okay how insane you've been about Lily. The point is, Sirius, you're barking. Barking mad, that is. You literally can't decide whether you despise Hermione or are desperately in love with her. And now you're making excuses to yourself about why she smelt like Grimauld Place so that you can put that nagging thought to rest every time you're around her."
"I'm not making excuses," Sirius said defensively. "I'm making logical points. Also, it hasn't been hours - and I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about the fim. And I can say her name. And I most certainly am not in love with you, you idiot," he spat.
"Oh, really?" James demanded. "Than why is it that snogged a different girl every day up until very recently?"
"That's true, you know," Peter joined in. "Even I've noticed. You've barely talked to a girl other than Hermione in weeks."
"I've been preoccupied with the war, remember?" Sirius snapped. "Anyway, it wouldn't be right. Peter fancies her, doesn't he? It's Marauders' Code. She's off-limits."
A small smirk adorned Peter's face. "You'd really do that for me, Pads?"
"Of course I would, mate!" Sirius said, lying back and tucking his hands behind his head. "I would no sooner snog Hermione than I would Lily. It's just plain common sense when you've got mates like you guys." Then he paused. "Not like I would even thinking about snogging her in the first place."
"Who, 'her'?" James taunted. "Lily or Hermione?"
Sirius glared. "You know who I mean."
Remus smirked. "Maybe we don't. Say her name."
With a sneer, Sirius clenched his teeth and said, "Hermione."
"I'm proud of you, mate. You're making real progress."
"Shut up, Moony."
...~oOo~...
It was the middle of November before the Marauders and Lionesses landed themselves in McGonagall's office, all seven of them coated in green glop. No one was really sure what the substance was made of, but it was thick, it stuck to skin and clothing rather stubbornly, but didn't dry - and it smelt terrible. Like onions and black licorice.
McGonagall was also splattered with the stuff, her robes stained, and her spectacles dotted. She sat at her desk, staring like a vengeful hawk at all of the kids, her hands folded tightly in front of her.
"I have tolerated," she said with slow, tight precision, "all of your antics for weeks. I have ignored your little war. I have refrained from deducting points because it seemed to be in good fun and it kept you from making trouble elsewhere. But... I. Have. Had. It. Today you disrupted my entire class and not only made yourselves victims in your little schemes, but the entire class as well. My classroom will surely smell for days. These robes are now unacceptable, as well as all of your classmates' uniforms. You've damaged school property. You've disturbed whatever peace was left in this school. And you have destroyed your chances at getting perfect grades in my class.
"In addition to being given zeroes for the day," McGonagall went on, "you are each being given weekend detention. Which means you will not be permitted to visit Hogsmeade, seeing as you'll likely be scrubbing floors and walls for Filch or feeding and grooming many of Hagrids' peculiar pets. And you'll each be writing me an essay on why exploding unidentifiable green goo in my classroom is intolerable and why you will never do so again.
"It goes without saying that your war is over. In all fairness, it seemed to be a stalemate, anyway. Any attempts to further the rivalry will end in punishment much worse than detention, I promise you. Now, all of you out. You smell repulsive."
Without a single word from any of them, the students all shuffled out, their pants and feet sloshing with goop as they went. Once they were completely out of the office, shutting the door behind them...
They all disintegrated into uncontrollable laughter. And none of them had any idea why.
...
They walked in a green mass back to Gryffindor Tower, their steps making squashing and squeaking noises, leaving a snail-like trail of sludge behind them They were almost there when they all stopped at the sound of a girl's voice.
"Sirius! Sirius Black!"
All of them turned to see who it was and Hermione had to stop herself from gasping.
The girl in Ravenclaw colors who'd shouted for Sirius was a long and lean girl with sun-kissed skin and waves of golden blonde locks with tawny eyes. Sure, she was significantly younger, but Hermione would recognize her anywhere. It was Marley.
"Marlene," Sirius said, not sounding very surprised by being stopped by a girl. "Hullo."
"Hey," she said, beaming, revealing her perfect, pearly teeth. "I heard about what happened in McGonagall's today and I wanted to say I thought it was brilliant."
"Thanks," Sirius said, even though the whole thing hadn't exactly been his idea. He earned some very annoyed looks from his mates for taking the credit. He ignored them and put on his best flirtation smile, which shone through and took center stage even when he was covered in slop.
Grinning, Marley - or Marlene, Hermione supposed? - said, "I'd love to hear all about how you did it... maybe in Hogsmeade this Saturday?"
"Sure," Sirius said easily. "I'd love to. I have to run a few errands first, so meet you at the Three Broomsticks at, say... noon?"
"Brilliant," the gorgeous young Ravenclaw said before striding away.
And Hermione was struck by a few things. One, Marlene was nothing like how Hermione remembered Marley - too flirty and too nice to Sirius. Two, Sirius had detention, how was he supposed to go to Hogsmeade?
And finally, three, at Bill and Fleur's wedding Marley had specifically told Hermione that she and Sirius were in the same House at Hogwarts, but this Marlene... was a Ravenclaw.
What was going on?
They were all in the common room when Lily demanded, "How, exactly, are you expecting to get out of detention on Saturday?"
"I have my ways," Sirius said cryptically. "Anyway, how could I have said no?"
"It's simple, really," Hermione said. "After all, I say it to you all the time. You make the sound of an 'n' and then 'oh'."
"You don't get it because you're a girl," Sirius said half-snidely and half-teasingly. "That was Marlene McKinnon. Ravenclaw's fittest babe, and the only one who's face isn't glued in a book twenty-four/seven. Which is more than I can say for you."
Crossing her arm, Hermione said, "Listen, I'm not letting you get out of detention. It isn't fair for all of us to be stuck with Filch while you're off snogging Marlene WhateverHerNameIs."
"I'm with Hermione on this," Peter said readily. "It wouldn't be fair, Sirius."
"Yeah!" Alice exclaimed, crossing her own arms. "You were in the war, too. It's only right you serve detention with us."
Lily nodded. "Anyway, I'd tell McGonagall if you got out of it somehow. And trust me, I would know if you did."
With a mischievous smile, Sirius said, "That's the thing, Evans. You wouldn't know at all." And then he walked up to his room.
...~oOo~...
Challenge: 1. Favorite part and line? 2. What's the deal with Marlene? Is she really Marley or are they just identical? 3. How is Sirius going to get out of detention? 4. If you were on the Titanic, would you keep the seat or give it to someone else, and if so, then who? (And be honest, hehe!)
~ So Long And Thanks For All The Fish ~