Tonks and Lupin: Until the Very End

by LupinxTonks4ever

Tonks and Lupin's relationship from the hospital scene in the Half Blood Prince till the end. The story we know with the joy of embellishment, and lots of filling in spaces. There is fluff - you have been warned;) All property of the lovely J.K.Rowling. Bear with me - it's my first fanfic.

10. Loss

Hello all!
Well I'm alive and (don't faint) I actually updated! I am intending to finish this. Life's just in a busy patch at the moment;)
So, there are passages and dialogue that will be very familiar to any of you who have read Deathly Hallows...all that belongs to J. and co. Who I obviously am not - if I was, this would be a Mac and I'd have a ridiculously large expensive chocolate bar sitting next to me. LOL!XD
Also, I hope this chapter lives up to whatever expectations you may have formed in the two months you had to wait for it! I'm sorry it took so long!
Thanks to all of you for your patience and for reading!:)
And especially special thanks to ThisLoveHasNoCeiling for her continuing support and encouragement! :D
Okay, I'll shut up now and let you read. ;) ...

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9. Loss:

The day the Order was going to move Harry Potter dawned bright and clear. But though none knew it yet, this day would change so much.
Tonks and Lupin were up early, eating breakfast when a knock came at the door.
Lupin jumped up and Tonks mirrored him, drawing her wand.
"Declare yourself!" Lupin demanded in a commanding voice.
"Mad-Eye Moody, former Auror and teacher to your wife, Nymphadora Tonks Lupin, who is glaring at me through this door right now for using her first name. You are Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony." He said.
Lupin let out a quiet breath of relief andy opened the door.

"What was the first thing you said to me when they brought me to the Ministry for you to teach me?" Tonks asked.
"'A little bit of a girl like her, an Auror!'" He quoted himself with a chuckle.
"Come on in Mad-Eye," Lupin greeted, shaking his hand.
"All right Mad-Eye? What's brought you out here at this hour?" Tonks asked.
"Is everyone okay?" Lupin asked, and sudden fear flowed through her at the thought.
"Everyone's fine," He said. "May not be after tonight though," he muttered pessimistically.
After her initial rush of relief, and looking over to see a similar expression on Lupin's face, she had to laugh. "You're always good at those positive prep-talks Mad-Eye."
He rolled his eye, making Lupin chuckle, and spoke.

"I have a job for you two that I need done before we can get Harry to where he needs to be," Mad-Eye said, his tone brisk, and Tonks could tell he was in a hurry.
"I need to put you in charge of getting six pairs of glasses identical to Harry's," Mad-Eye said, cutting to the chase.
He never has been one for small talk. Tonks thought to herself with a grin.
"I believe I can take care of that," Lupin said, nodding, a thoughtful expression coming over his face.
"Dora, I need you to come up with seven identical outfits that are Harry's size," He said.
She nodded, trying to remember exactly what size Harry was. Lanky and thin ought to do it, she decided.
"Remus, don't let her mess them up," He added.
"I'm sure I can manage fine, thank you very much Mad-Eye," she bristled jokingly.
She was used to Mad-Eye's outer-gruffness, but she knew he had a good heart.
He chuckled. "I'm sure you can." He said, his tone placating.
"So any news with the two of you...?" Mad-Eye asked, giving Tonks a meaningful glance.
Tonks, remembering their conversation at the Burrow, realized what he meant immediately. She blushed and looked down; hoping Lupin wouldn't ask what he meant.

Lupin didn't ask, but looked between her and Mad-Eye with confusion clear in his eyes, noting her expression with puzzlement.
Mad-Eye gave her a look and she knew what he meant even though he hadn't spoken. He may as well have said "Tell him already." out loud. His magical eye focused on her head, and Tonks barely managed to keep herself from rolling her eyes.
Subtle, Mad-Eye, she thought in his direction.
"Well, I'd best be off. Figured it was safer to tell you myself. Mad times we live in," He muttered the last bit.
"Be at the Burrow at five o'clock. And bring the clothes and glasses when you come - we're having a quick run over the plan to make sure nobody messes up and gets us all killed." He said.
"You've always been so encouraging Mad-Eye," Tonks joked.
Lupin smothered a grin, and bade him farewell, shaking his hand.
"See you later," Tonks called with a wave as he walked out the door.

Inside she was reeling; she realized she was worried about telling Lupin about their baby because she knew the moment she mentioned it to Lupin, he'd forbade her to do anything dangerous. And right now, everything was dangerous.
But she was sure, and she had promised herself she'd tell him when she was sure.
She'd put it off long enough - she should have told him last night.
Lupin closed the door, and the sound broke her out of her reverie.
She looked up at him, wondering what he would say if she told him right now.
Well, I won't have to wonder much longer, she thought to herself wryly.
He must have noticed the distressed air of her thoughts because he pulled her into his arms, sighing into her hair. But she relaxed about the whole thing a moment too soon:
"What do you think Mad-Eye meant by 'news with us'?"
She tried not to tense and simply shrugged, "You know Mad-Eye, could've meant anything." She said, trying to sound casual.
She didn't know what had made her hedge his question like that - she needed to tell him.

It wasn't close to the full moon, so hopefully he wouldn't overreact or anything.
He nodded, but when he pulled back to look into her eyes, she knew he could tell she was hiding something. He was perceptive, and he had noticed that she wasn't feeling 100% normal.
"Dora, what is it? What aren't you telling me?" He asked, apprehensive.
Fear pounded in her veins as he stared into her eyes, his gaze penetrating her, making her feel as though she could hide nothing.
What if he takes it bad? What if he doesn't want to be a father?She worried internally.

Then Mad-Eye's words echoed in her mind...'He probably won't take it well at first, but he'll come round.'
Best to get the hard part over with. After all, it was unfair of her to assume what his reaction would be when she hadn't even mentioned it to him yet.
She spoke haltingly, not sure how to tell him.
"I...haven't been... trying to keep it from you - I just didn't want to tell you till...till I was sure."
Lupin looked at her steadily, anxiety and curiosity vying on his face.
"Everything's fine," she reassured him quickly, "better than fine actually." She said, smiling briefly as she realized how happy she was about it, even if the timing couldn't have been worse.
His eyes softened at seeing her smile. "What is it?" He asked curiously.
"It's, umm..." Excitement, pure joy, nerves like she hadn't felt since there wedding day; all of these flew around in her head, dizzying her, and she didn't know how to say it. She'd never bloody done this before, how on earth was she to go about telling him something like this?
"I'm...we're, um..." She took a deep breath and then ploughed forward.
"I'm pregnant." She said quietly, staring into his eyes, apprehensively awaiting his reaction.
He didn't speak, but he didn't have to.
Joy and disbelief filled his blue eyes. His eyes flitted down, followed by his hand, to rest on her belly, staring at it in amazement.
She felt the same way; she couldn't believe that a tiny person was growing inside her. Their child.
Her joy at the realization and at seeing Lupin's joy was heady.
Suddenly she could hardly believe it.

It hadn't really sunk in till now. Till she shared it with Lupin, it really couldn't. But saying it out loud to him and seeing the disbelieving joy dawn in his eyes made it more real than ever before.
He looked up at her, and she saw something else haunting his eyes, shadowing the joy. Before she could make it out he was pulling her close.
He held her tightly, and suddenly she realized she was smiling and couldn't stop.
She really couldn't believe it.
They were going to be parents.
She was carrying Lupin's baby.
A happiness she had never known filled her and bubbled over.
She pulled back after a minute to see into his eyes.
The guilt and anguish there, along with dread and compassion, confused her.
Her heart twisted and she dreaded what reason had put that horribly familiar, but this time more acute, look in his eyes. At the same time, compassion for his suffering filled her.
She caressed his face, loving him so much, feeling so happy that she thought she might burst with the intensity and joy of it all.
Did he know how much she loved him? How grateful she was that he'd given her this baby?
She hoped very much that Mad-Eye's words would prove true.

His joy and guilt conflicted eyes stared into hers, but as they did, that tender, love-filled expression came to his eyes and she couldn't hold back. She kissed him, happiness flowing through her at the feel of his soft lips on hers and at the knowledge that they were really going to have a family - something Tonks hadn't even realized that she'd dreamed about for a while until now. She'd never been happier than she was right at this moment.
Her thoughts cut off when Remus's arms closed around her, pulling her closer.
The kiss deepened and she moaned softly, tears of joy washing down her face. Lupin's hand resting on her face caught her tears.
His hands traveled slowly down to her waist and she gasped and pulled him closer, wanting more.
He was kissing her fervently, and suddenly he shocked her by lifting her off the ground and setting her atop the counter.
She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer still.
He groaned and she felt all rational thought leave her; all she knew was Remus and his warm body pressed to hers and his lips passionately linked with hers.

After several more minutes they broke apart, gasping for air.
Tonks rested her forehead on Lupin's. He looked into her eyes, unspeaking, the joy she'd seen before - and felt in their kiss - dimming, replaced by guilt that Tonks was dreading.
But she had seen his joy, and she knew he was happy about their baby, just that this reason he felt he had to be guilty for was taking over. She'd just have to set him straight - again.
"Well at least now I understand why you've been so hungry and nauseous," He said, stroking her hair. "I was worried," He added softly.
"I didn't mean to worry you," She apologized quietly, preoccupied by the expression in his eyes.

Even as she spoke, she saw his eyes grow more worried.
"Remus…is there something wrong?" She asked carefully.
"Nothing's wrong." He said tersely.
Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck and pulled away from her, pacing before stopping beside the window of the sitting room and staring out pensively.
"Don't try to deny it, please?" She pleaded.
"Dora, really, it's n-" He started, exasperation touching his tone.
"Remus, do not say 'it's nothing'. I know that look." She said sternly, feeling her temper flair a little, and her hair threatening to bleed a bit red.
For a moment he didn't speak. At last he let out a long breath and his shoulders slumped a bit as he met her eyes and spoke. "Don't you realize what our poor child might have to suffer with? That he might be afflicted with the same curse that has made my life so difficult?" He asked, his eyes tormented, tone hard.

"Remus. You're jumping to the worst case-scenario. Has that ever actually happened?" She asked hesitantly, finally understanding his expression.
"I...I don't know. I get the impression that most werewolves don't...reproduce." He said, looking ashamed.
Compassion and love filled her; of anyone, after all he'd been through, Lupin deserved to be happy; but it seemed he couldn't allow himself the chance without blaming himself for something at every turn.
"Remus, listen to me - I love you. I'm glad we're having a baby - so glad I'm having your baby; I can't even tell you how happy I am," She said softly. "As much as I would hate to see him suffer, I will love him no matter what, nothing could change that. And it wouldn't change who he'll be. And this's assuming that's even possible." She tried to reassure him, help him see that it didn't matter; they would love their child with all their hearts and nothing could change that. But she could see Remus wasn't going to be able to accept that as quickly as she.
"Let's keep this to ourselves for a while, alright? The Ministry obviously isn't feeling too friendly towards werewolves and I don't want you in danger there. Let's just keep quiet about it for now." He said, looking slightly agitated.
"If you want. But just so you know, it is good news." She reminded him gently. She would abide by his wishes with only two exceptions: Molly and Mad-Eye. She understood he was only worried, and hoped that was the only reason of his wanting to keep it quiet.
Either way, nothing could erase the deep joy she felt and she could understand Lupin's worry even if she didn't really agree with it.
"I am so happy," She whispered, throwing her arms around him.
He returned her embrace, holding her tight, but didn't reply.
She would just have to be patient and wait for him to come around.

She reluctantly pulled back a bit, "Come on, let's get the clothes and everything all sorted so we'll be ready for tonight." Tonks said, turning to pick her wand up off of the coffee table when Lupin's voice made her spin sharply back around to stare him in the eye.
"You can't go tonight!"
"What in Merlin's name are you talking about? Of course I'm going!" She shot back.
I should've expected this. She thought in a silent grumble.
"NO! It's too dangerous! Now with the baby - it's too big a risk." He said, tone hard, final, making it sound as if there was no room for discussion on the topic.
Like hell.

"Remus, I have to go, even if I wanted to stay - which I don't - they need me. I've been pregnant all this time before now and I've been the same as ever, I'll be fine." She said firmly, trying to keep her annoyance from leaking to the surface.
She looked into his eyes and saw his worry and guilt there and her frustration with him dissipated.
She rested a hand on his face gently.
"It'll be all right, Remus," She reassured quietly.
He pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair.
For a little while they just held each other.

Then they reluctantly released each other and returned to the business at hand...getting things for Harry's move.
Tonks worked with a new joy, though Remus's eyes retained their guilt.
Give him time. She told herself.
She worked on conjuring clothes and thought about Harry and the war and Voldemort. She wondered if he would ever be gone. But even so, at what price?
"Do you think this plan will work?" Tonks asked quietly as she folded the clothes she'd conjured.
He looked up at her from where he was sitting at the kitchen table, conjuring glasses and transfiguring them to look like Harry's, and met her eyes.
"It has to. It's the only plan we've got." He said grimly.

---

At five o'clock that evening, Tonks and Lupin Apparated to the Burrow.
They were met at the gate by Mad-Eye.
Rather uncharacteristically, Tonks asked the first question.
"What did you tell me to tell Lupin about?" She asked with a grin, wanting to share the news with someone who would be happy about it for sure.
Mad-Eye nodded in approval, anticipating her news.
"That you might be…expecting," He answered gruffly, pulling at the collar of his robes a little awkwardly.
"I am, and I told him." She announced, smiling at Remus. "Course, you practically told Remus yourself, seeing as how you were so subtle this morning." Tonks added, rolling her eyes at his knowingly amused expression.
Tonks grinned and Mad-Eye patted her on the shoulder, blinking his one eye rather quickly as his lips quirked up a bit.
Lupin simply watched their exchange, a bit of a confused look on his face.
"Glad to hear it," Mad-Eye said, and shook Lupin's hand, "Congratulations Remus, Dora." He said.
"Thank you Mad-Eye," Lupin said quietly.
Mad-Eye eyed Tonks for a moment before speaking abruptly, "Watch yourself out there tonight – both of you. Constant vigilance."

Tonks nodded, suppressing a little grin at Mad-Eye's well-concealed protectiveness.
He let them into the yard, right as a loud crack sounded behind them and Kingsley appeared outside the gate.
Tonks made to go greet Arthur, Bill, Fleur, Fred, and George.
But Lupin stopped her before they were halfway across the yard.
"How long did you not tell me?" He asked abruptly, his eyes burning into hers as he rubbed the back of his neck.
Tonks could see this had been bothering him. And her conversation with Mad-Eye probably hadn't helped.
"About three weeks. I wasn't sure...I just didn't want to worry you..." She answered.
He nodded, and she looked him in the eye, a bit apprehensive as to what she might see. Would he be angry? But as her brown and his blue connected, she saw instead that he looked a little sad, but understanding.
"I'm sorry Remus," She said, guilt flooding her as her eyes darted away from him. "I really just didn't know for sure, and I didn't want to disappoint someone besides myself if I was wrong. I had to ask Molly some questions and Mad-Eye figured it out." She explained, feeling rather ashamed of herself – she could have told him. Should have.

Then warm hands were cupping her cheeks and tilting her face until her eyes met his.
"It's alright Dora, I'm not angry," he said gently, seeming to sense her anxiety.
She smiled at him in relief and gratitude, "Thank you Remus," She whispered.
He smiled a little and kissed her forehead before taking her hand and walking with her to greet the others.
He was still so...impassive about it. It bothered her, though she wasn't sure why.
But his eyes were a little too composed, and she knew that look.
When from, she wasn't sure, but she'd seen it on his face before. The answer was elusive, sitting in the shadows of better-remembered things, and she knew it would bother her until she was able to find it.

They greeted everyone, talking animatedly while waiting on the last of Harry's guard. It was a few minutes before Hagrid and Mundungus Apparated with a loud crack and walked into the yard to meet the others after their own identity confirmations.
Ron and Hermione came out of the house at the sound.
"Wotcher Ron, Hermione," Tonks said, smiling and suddenly feeling her old enthusiasm for a bit of an adrenaline rush come back to her. Back before Sirius had died, she'd enjoyed her job for the adrenaline rush and satisfaction of helping bring some justice to their world. But that was a lifetime ago, before she'd realized on every level how serious this war was getting and how much they would all have to sacrifice to see it to the bitter end.
"Hello Tonks," Hermione greeted.
Ron echoed her greeting.

Right as Tonks started to ask them how they were, Mad-Eye called them to order.
"Listen up you lot," Mad-Eye called over the din of conversations and greetings in the yard.
"We're going to use Disillusionment Charms to see we all at least get there in one piece. Any questions before we start?" He asked impatiently.
Tonks could tell he was ready to be off. He always had been a tad impatient.
Hermione spoke out in the silence, "Professor Moody, I think you should know that Harry...well he's not going to take this plan well, he's not likely to give in easily." She warned.
Hermione was right, Tonks knew. Harry would hate the idea of all of them risking their lives to move him. She felt sympathy for him well up in her; she would hate that too.

"I figured as much," Mad-Eye grumbled tersely as he walked over to pick up a large sack bulging with mystery contents and one additional empty sack.
Mad-Eye went through the plan once more very briefly to see that everyone understood.
They all nodded when he was finished, confident that they knew exactly what they all were to do.
"Now that you're all familiar with the plan, let's be off. Don't make a lot of noise when you're Disillusioned, that defeats the purpose." He said.
"And a warning - if we come up on Death Eaters tonight, they're going to expect Harry to be with the roughest, most experienced Aurors, like Kingsley and I. So watch yourselves." He warned.
"Hagrid, you're going on the motorbike with the real Harry – I trust Arthur has added to it enough?"
Arthur nodded enthusiastically.
"Yeah, it's go' -" Hagrid started.
But Mad-Eye interrupted, "Good," he looked over at Tonks and Lupin expectantly, "Okay, Dora, Remus, you two brought the stuff?" He asked.
They both nodded.
"Good. Put it all in this sack." He said, handing them the empty one.
Tonks stuffed the clothes into one, and Lupin put the glasses in the side pocket of the same sack.

Mad-Eye lifted one and Lupin the other and led them out of the front yard.
Around the back of the yard, their transportation awaited them. Each person broke off into pairs and chose their transportation.
Mad-Eye turned to the still chattering group. "Constant vigilance!" He roared over the din, immediately silencing the entire yard.

Tonks, familiar with her mentor's way of silencing a room, barely jumped and managed not to laugh, both at his abrupt manner and the familiar phrase.
"Hurry up and do your Disillusionment Charms so we can be off. And don't forget to do your brooms." He ordered loudly to the yard at large. "The last thing we need is for flying brooms and motorbikes to end up in Muggle news. And shut it once you're Disillusioned." Mad-Eye reminded the still chattering group impatiently.
Tonks chuckled as everyone and everything around the yard began disappearing and Mad-Eye shot her a warning glance with his magical eye before Disillusioning himself.

Lupin, who had been sitting on his broom a moment before, had apparently already Disillusioned himself, as he was not visible. As she watched, his broom disappeared from sight as well. Only if upon looking closely could she see the air seeming to almost shiver – the tell-tale sign of a Disillusionment charm.
Drawing her wand, she gave herself a smart rap on the head and felt the cold sensation run over her.
Tonks was glad they were seeing some action again though, too long without it and life could get boring. Tonks nearly jumped off her broom when an invisible hand tapped her shoulder.
Stupidly, her eyes flew to the shivering air next to her, to find – nothing. Almost laughing at herself, she realized it was Lupin. "Remus?" She checked quietly.
"Yes." Answered his familiar hoarse voice.
She felt one of his hands squeeze hers for a moment.
"Be careful." He said in a low voice.
"And you too," she replied, with a squeeze of his hands before letting them go.

But despite her confidence in the plan, she felt a sprinkle of nerves fly through her. What if something happens to Remus?
She mentally shook herself, trying not to let her imagination get carried away. She'd had to train herself to do that about all the people she loved in the Order – though it had always been hardest with Lupin, but after Sirius she had had to start from scratch.
Ever since she had started falling for Lupin, she had been more anxious about missions.
Hopefully it would all go without a hitch. Ron and Hermione and Harry were so young...they'd been through a lot, but all the same, it would be nice for tonight to go smoothly. And it would be good for Harry to be a permanent resident of the Wizarding World now.
Tonks surfaced from her thoughts to see that the two Thestrals were the only visible thing in the yard.

"On three we Apparate as discussed." Mad-Eye's voice came from the head of the yard.
A general murmur of agreement came from the air around them.
"One. Two. THREE."

Loud cracks sounded in the air around her and she followed the lead of her invisible comrades and Disapparated.
They all landed in a deserted alley close to Number Four, Privet Drive and then traveled from there with their various forms of transportation.
They arrived in the quiet Muggle neighborhood Tonks had been to once before, as part of the Advance Guard when they had taken Harry to Grimmauld Place for the first time.
So much has happened since then. Tonks thought; she had only just been starting to fall for Lupin then. And Sirius and Dumbledore... she stopped her memories there; she needed to be clear minded for tonight, she couldn't afford too many emotional distractions in such a potentially hazardous situation. She had to remain vigilant and focused. A lack of it could be devastating.
She laughed at herself; she was starting to think a bit like Mad-Eye.

They lifted their Disillusionment Charms and were greeted by Harry running out the back door, greeting them joyfully.
Hermione ran forward and hugged him, Ron patted him on the back, and Hagrid said, "All righ' Harry? Ready fer the off?"
"Definitely!" He said, beaming. "But I wasn't expecting this many of you!"
"Change of plan," growled Mad-Eye in Harry's direction.
He picked up the two large sacks, his magical eye was spinning like crazy.
Tonks could tell he was just worried they would be found before the disguise was ready.
"Let's get undercover before I talk you through it." He said, confirming Tonks's suspicions.
Harry led them into the spotless, clearly deserted, kitchen.

Everyone was laughing and chattering, catching up.
"Kingsley, I thought you were looking after the Muggle Prime Minister?" Harry called across the room.
"He can get along without me for one night, you're more important." Kingsley replied.
Tonks was so glad to see that Harry looked alright. Glad he would be with the Weasley's now - he'd be happier there.
She jumped up and seated herself on some sort of metal Muggle contraption. Lupin stood next to her, his eyes studying the room with less anxiety and more joy now that they were all together. Even Tonks, who didn't know Harry very well, had to admit that it felt right and complete when Harry was with the Order. They needed him in this fight, and if Dumbledore had known it, then she'd bet her last Galleon that it was true.
She smiled at Lupin, who didn't notice her following his happy eyes darting around the room, but lingering on Harry, James's son. He looked so much like him from pictures she'd seen...she wondered if that was hard for Lupin, or if he was glad. She'd wanted to ask him before, but she hated to cause him pain. He had enough of it to endure as it was.

Suddenly Tonks remembered that Harry didn't know about them getting married. Tonks looked at Lupin and he met her eyes, seeing the excitement in hers. He seemed to know what she was asking and nodded, a small smile playing on his lips; she turned again to face Harry.
"Harry guess what?" Tonks asked gleefully. She wiggled her left hand in front of him so he would see her wedding ring.
"You got married?" Harry yelped; surprised, as he looked from her to Lupin.
"I'm sorry you couldn't be there, Harry, it was very quiet." Lupin said, and Tonks could tell he regretted that Harry hadn't been there as much as she did.
"That's brilliant, congrat-"
"All right, all right, we'll have time for a cozy catch-up later!" Mad-Eye interrupted, roaring over the noise.

Silence fell at once - Mad-Eye did have a rather commanding presence...in any case, he'd never failed to quiet a room since Tonks had known him.
He dropped his heavy sacks - one full of clothes and glasses, and the other who knew what, and turned to Harry.
"As Dedalus probably told you, we had to abandon Plan A.
Pius Thicknesse has gone over, which gives us a big problem. He's made it an imprisonable offence to connect this house on the Floo Network, place a Portkey here, or Apparate in or out. All done in the name of your protection, to prevent You-Know-Who getting in at you. Absolutely pointless, seeing as your mother's charm does that already. What he's really done is to stop you from getting out of here safely.
"Second problem: You're underage, which means you've still got the Trace on you." Mad-Eye paused, and Harry started to speak,
"I don't-"

Mad-Eye interrupted impatiently, "The Trace, the Trace! The charm that detects magical activity around under-seventeens, the way the Ministry finds out about underage magic! If you, or anyone around you, casts a spell to get you out of here, Thicknesse is going to know about it, and so will the Death Eaters.
"We can't wait for the Trace to break, because the moment you turn seventeen you'll lose all the protection your mother gave you. In short: Pius Thicknesse thinks he's got you cornered good and proper."
Harry looked as though he agreed with Thicknesse.
"What are we going to do?" He asked.
"We're going to use the only means of transport left to us, the only ones the Trace can't detect, because we don't need to cast spells to use them: brooms, thestrals, and Hagrid's motorbike."

Harry still looked dubious, and Tonks knew Mad-Eye noticed, because he started in on more explanations.
"Now your mother's charm will only break under two conditions: when you come of age, or-" Mad-Eye gestured around the immaculate kitchen where they were all gathered- "you no longer call this place home. You and your aunt and uncle are going your separate ways tonight, in the full understating that you're never going to live together again, correct?"

Harry nodded, a wise move, Tonks thought, since Mad-Eye was in a rush, and when he was, it was best to speak as little as possible.
"So this time, when you leave, there'll be no going back, and the charm will break the moment you get outside its range. We're choosing to break it early, because the alternative is waiting for You-Know-Who to come and seize you the moment you turn seventeen.
"The one thing we've got on our side is that You-Know-Who doesn't know we're moving you tonight. We've leaked a fake trail to the Ministry: They think you're not leaving until the thirtieth. However, this is You-Know-Who we're dealing with, so we can't just rely on him getting the date wrong; he's bound to have a couple of Death Eaters patrolling the skies in this general area, just in case. So, we've given a dozen different houses every protection we can throw at them. They all look like they could be the place we're going to hide you, they've all got some connection with the Order: my house, Kingsley's place, Molly's Auntie Muriel's - you get the idea." Mad-Eye explained.

Tonks settled back a bit on her seat. They were getting to the part Harry wouldn't like, and she got the feeling it would be a long conversation...or argument.
"Yeah," Harry said, still looking uncertain.
"You'll be going to Tonks's parents. Once you're within the boundaries of the protective enchantments we've put on their house, you'll be able to use a Portkey to the Burrow. Any questions?" Mad-Eye finished.
"Er - yes," Harry said. "Maybe they won't know which of the twelve secure houses I'm heading for at first, but won't it be sort of obvious once-" he quickly did a headcount -"fourteen of us fly off towards Tonks's parents'?"
Tonks winced on Harry's behalf of what was coming. But it really was an ingenious plan - the best they had in any case.
"Ah," Said Mad-Eye, "I forgot to mention the key point. Fourteen of us won't be flying to Tonks's parents'. There will be seven Harry Potters moving through the skies tonight, each of them with a companion, each pair heading for a different safe house."
Mad-Eye reached into his cloak and withdrew a flask of Polyjuice Potion.

Comprehension dawned immediately in Harry's eyes, followed by horror.
"No!" He yelled, "No way!"
"I told them you'd take it like this." Hermione said matter-of-factly.
Tonks felt bad for Harry - she'd feel wretched if it was her, but they had to do this, and it was the best chance they had. And something told her that Harry was the key to finishing Voldemort, so they really needed him – he was the best chance they all had. She glanced at Lupin, and saw sympathy for Harry in his eyes, and knew Lupin was thinking along the same lines as her. But she suspected he was also thinking that James would have had the same reaction as Harry.

"If you think I'm going to let six people risk their lives-!"
"-because it's the first time for all of us," Ron interrupted.
"This is different, pretending to be me-"
"Well, none of us really fancy it, Harry," Spoke Fred earnestly. "Imagine if something went wrong and we were stuck as specky, scrawny gits forever."
Tonks reined in a laugh, seeing that Fred was trying to lighten the mood a bit, but Harry didn't smile.
"You can't do it if I don't cooperate, you need me to give you some hair." He said, looking almost hopeful now. Defiant.
"Well, that's that plan scuppered," Said George. "Obviously there's no chance at all of us getting a bit of your hair unless you cooperate."
"Yeah, thirteen of us against one bloke who's not allowed to use magic; we've got no chance." Said Fred.
"Funny," Said Harry angrily, "really amusing."
"If it has to come to force, then it will," Mad-Eye growled, his magical eye now quivering a little in its socket as he glared at Harry.
"Everyone here's overage, Potter, and they're all prepared to take the risk."
Mundungus shrugged and grimaced; the magical eye swiveled sideways to glare at him out the side of Moody's head.
"Let's have no more arguments. Time's wearing on. I want a few of your hairs, boy, now." He demanded.

"But this is mad, there's no need-" Harry started.
Bad move. Tonks thought, knowing her old friend's temper.
"No need!" snarled Mad-Eye. "With You-Know-Who out there and half the Ministry on his side? Potter, if we're lucky he'll have swallowed the fake bait and he'll be planning to ambush you on the thirtieth, but he'd be mad not to have a Death Eater or two keeping an eye out, it's what I'd do. They might not be able to get at you or this house while your mother's charm holds, but it's about to break and they know the rough position of the place. Our only chance is to use decoys. Even You-Know-Who can't split himself into seven."
Tonks noticed Harry and Hermione's eyes meet and a significant look pass between them.
She looked over at Lupin, but he didn't seem to have noticed.
She didn't have long to puzzle over it and it was soon forgotten; she couldn't have known the gravity of Mad-Eye's wrong statement.

None of them save Harry, Ron, and Hermione ever would.
"So, Potter - some of your hair, if you please."
Harry glanced at Ron, and Ron grimaced at him in a just-get-it-over-with of way.
"Now!" Barked Moody.
They all watched as Harry finally recognized defeat, grabbed some hair, and pulled it out.
"Good," Moody said, limping forwards and popping open the bottle of potion. "Straight in here if you please."

Harry dropped his hair into the mud-like liquid. The moment it made contact with its surface, the potion began to froth and smoke, then, all at once, it turned a clear, bright gold.
"Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry," said Hermione.
I'd love to know the story behind that comment. She thought, amused.
Tonks suppressed laughter as she saw Hermione get a glimpse of Ron's raised eyebrows, and blushed slightly, explaining her comment. "Oh, you know what I mean - Goyle's potion looked like bogies."
Goyle? Crabbe? Both families were headed by wanted Death Eaters. Whatever they had been up to, she approved.
"Right then, fake Potters line up over here, please," Said Moody.
Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Fleur all lined up.

"We're one short," Lupin stated, looking concerned.
Tonks was about to step forward when Hagrid spoke.
"Here," Hagrid said gruffly, and he lifted Mundungus by the scruff of the neck and dropped him down beside Fleur.
Tonks chuckled at Fleur, who wrinkled her nose pointedly and moving along to stand between Fred and George.
"I've toldjer, I'd sooner be a protector," Mundungus protested.
"Shut it," growled Mad-Eye. "As I've already told you, you spineless worm, any Death Eaters we run into will be aiming to capture Potter, not kill him. Dumbledore always said You-Know-Who would want to finish Potter in person. It'll be the protectors who have got the most to worry about, the Death Eaters'll want to kill them."
Mundungus didn't look particularly reassured. Tonks felt a trickle of fear at Mad-Eye's words.

What if there were Death Eaters waiting up there? Would they be able to make sure all the Harrys made it to safety? And all of them, as well?
We're the Order of the Phoenix. This is our job. She told herself firmly, attempting to push away her sudden anxiety.
But as she looked over at Lupin, she was suddenly worried beyond all reason. She knew he could take care of himself – indeed both of them were more than capable; she caught him glancing at her agitatedly also, and hoped that worrying about her didn't distract him at all. She supposed it was just a natural instinct to want to protect him because she loved him so much, and the thought of losing him was utterly, agonizingly unbearable.
Usually she liked being in the thick of the action. Still did, in fact, but perhaps because Lupin was so irrevocably, permanently linked to her now - such a constant, steadfast part of her life, it was natural for her to worry a bit, even if it wasn't entirely sensible; she decided to blame these worries on being part of the early pregnancy mood swings.
We just have to get through it, we always have before. She told herself firmly, not allowing her mind to travel back to all of their close calls.

Forcibly shoving her doubts from her mind, she concentrated on the plan and what was going on now. She knew the Order could do this.
Mad-Eye had distributed the Polyjuice Potion in the half a dozen little glasses he had gotten from who-knew-where.
"Altogether, then..."
Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Fleur, and Mundungus drank.
They all gasped and grimaced as the potion hit their throats: At once, features started to change, distorting and stretching or shrinking, depending on the individual.

Mad-Eye, quite used to the effects of Polyjuice, was unconcerned during the odd transformations. He loosed the ties on the first bulging sack.
All of them were exact Harry Potter replicas in less than five minutes.
"Fred and George turned to each other and said together, "Wow - we're identical."
"I dunno, though, I think I'm still better-looking," Fred said while examining his reflection in the kettle on the stove.
Fleur looked at her reflection in some metal box, "Bah. Bill, don't look at me - I'm 'ideous." She said.

Tonks suppressed laughter again, thinking on the irony of the fact that she became friends with a person so completely opposite of herself. But she rather liked Fleur - she was funny.
"Those whose clothes are a bit roomy, I've got smaller here," said Mad-Eye, pointing to the first sack where Tonks had stowed the clothes earlier, "and vice versa. Don't forget the glasses, there's six pairs in the side pocket. And when you're dressed, there's luggage in the other sack." Mad-Eye instructed.
She never failed to be impressed by Mad-Eye's lack of the ability to forget anything they needed.
The fake Harry's rummaged through the sacks, getting clothes and luggage and glasses. The real Harry (well, at least Tonks assumed he was the real one because he was standing to the side) was watching these proceedings dazedly.
I guess it would odd to see seven of myself walking around, she mused.

Tonks was enthusiastic about this plan - it was brilliant, and besides, there couldn't be that many Death Eaters out there, they'd no idea the Order was moving Harry tonight.
"I knew Ginny was lying about that tattoo." Ron said as he looked down at his bare chest that now was Harry's.
Tonks couldn't contain her laughter this time, and she put a hand over her mouth, trying to hide it, at least.
Lupin looked over at her, an amused, affectionate look in his eyes.
"Harry your eyesight really is awful." Hermione-Harry said as she put on a duplicate of his glasses.

Once all the fake Harrys were dressed and had their luggage, Tonks wouldn't have been able to tell them apart, save expressions and tones.
"Good," said Mad-Eye satisfied, as he gazed at the seven Harrys.
"The pairs will be as follows: Mundungus will be traveling with me, by broom-"
"Why'm I with you?" Grunted the Harry nearest to the back door.
"Because you're the one that needs watching," Mad-Eye growled, his magical eye not moving from Mundungus as he continued.
"Arthur and Fred-"
"I'm George," said the Harry at whom Mad-Eye was pointing.
"Can't you even tell us apart when we're Harry?"
Tonks chuckled quietly to herself.
"Sorry George-"
"I'm only yanking your wand, I'm Fred really-"
"Enough messing around!" Snarled Mad-Eye.
"The other one - George, Fred or whoever you are - you're with Remus. Miss Delacour -"
"I'm taking Fleur on a thestral," Bill cut in, "She's not that fond of brooms."

Tonks rather wished she had the option of staying close by Lupin, but she didn't dwell on it.
Fleur walked over to join her fiancé with a loving look that Tonks understood, but looked distinctly amusing on Harrys face.
"Miss Granger with Kingsley, again by thestral -" Kingsley smiled at Hermione and she smiled back, looking reassured. Hermione wasn't very fond of flying via broomstick either.
"Which leaves you with me Ron!" Tonks said enthusiastically, waving at him and knocking over a mug tree in the process. She loved the Weasleys. Ron never failed to make her laugh.

Lupin looked at her with that amused expression in his eyes for just a moment, but she could see the worry in them. She smiled reassuringly at him before turning back to the meeting.
She noticed Ron's slightly unenthusiastic expression with amusement.
"An' you're with me, Harry. That all righ'?" said Hagrid, looking slightly anxious. "We'll be in the bike, brooms an' thestrals can't take me weight, see. Not a lot o' room on the seat with me on it, though, so you'll be in the sidecar." Hagrid explained.
"That's great." Harry replied, though he looked apprehensive.
"We think the Death Eaters will expect you to be on a broom," said Mad-Eye, also guessing how Harry was feeling. "Snape's had plenty of time to tell them everything about you he's never mentioned before, so if we do run into any Death Eaters, we're betting they'll choose one of the Potters who look at home on a broomstick." He explained.
"All right then." He continued as he picked up the sack with the fake Potters' clothes in it and tied it shut, and led them to the back door.
"I make it three minutes until we're supposed to leave. No point in locking the back door, it won't keep the Death Eaters out when they come looking.
...Come on..."
Harry rushed off as the rest of them proceeded out to the back garden.
Kingsley helped Hermione up onto a great black thestral, and Bill did the same for Fleur.
Harry returned a moment later with a rucksack, his Firebolt - she would love to have one of those someday - and Hedwig's cage.
Tonks's trusty old broomstick leapt into her hand, and she mounted it and hovered a bit as she waited for Ron to come over.

Everyone was adjusting luggage and getting ready. When Harry had gone over to Hagrid's motorbike and Hermione-Harry had seated herself atop one of the thestrals, Ron finally walked over, looking nonplussed, and climbed on behind her, careful not to touch her.
Tonks was watching the exchange between Hagrid and Harry,
"Is this it? Is this Sirius's bike?" Harry asked.

She didn't hear the rest of the conversation because she was looking at Lupin's distantly sorrowed blue eyes; the sad smile on his face reminiscent, as though he was remembering something from long ago.
She wished she could talk to him; ease his sadness.
But she couldn't. Suddenly, renewed sadness at all those they had lost during these awful years of war hit her, and she wished more than ever that Sirius and everyone were still there with them today.
A silent understanding of passed between them in a single moment and his eyes softened and he smiled a bit, though it was strained.

When Mad-Eye spoke they both looked away, prepared to focus on the task ahead of them.
"All right then," Mad-Eye said. "Everyone ready, please; I want us all to leave at exactly the same time or the whole point of the diversion's lost." He said.
"Hold tight now, Ron." Tonks said brightly, excitement coming to her again – it had been a long time since she'd flown, she was looking forward to it.
After a minute, he placed his hands on either side of her waist. It suddenly dawned on her that he must feel uncomfortable with that because of her husband right there next to them.
She chuckled to herself and prepared for the off.
"Good luck, everyone," shouted Mad-Eye. "See you all in about an hour at the Burrow.
"On the count of three. One...two...THREE."

And they were off.
Tonks hoped against hope that they would all be alright.
Exhalation and freedom filled her as they dashed up into the sky, the houses underneath them growing smaller and smaller.
It had been too long since she'd been on a broom – she'd forgotten how wonderful it was.
As they all started to turn in different directions, dozens of brooms set upon them, and Tonks saw to her horror that suddenly at least thirty Death Eaters were around them.
Tonks heard the roar of the motorbike engine as Hagrid took off with Harry towards her parents' house.
"Bloody hell," Ron muttered.
She heartily agreed with that statement.
Well, this was it then.

She cleared her head, forcing her mind away from Lupin and the others, determined to get Ron and her to safety.

Taking only a moment to appraise the situation, she noted that the Death Eater's had formed a ring in the sky just above the thin line of clouds. The ring had been three Death Eaters deep, but now they had broken their formation, starting to chase down and attack Order members and their decoys. Mad-Eye had been right; all the Death Eaters had swarmed down on the tough looking Aurors. Lights were flashing as spells shot right and left, and outcries from every direction sounded all around them. Battlefields were dizzying. They had a way of making time seem to stop. It was odd to think that, as she fought for her life in this endless moment, somewhere in this same part of Britain, another person was living one of the best moments of their lives. Even as her world seemed to stop, sitting on a knife's edge as everything and everyone she loved fought the battle so they could but remain… somewhere a family shared a quiet peaceful night at home, a child and her siblings dreamed a fantastic tale that they eagerly portrayed, two young lovers shared a first kiss, somewhere a brand new baby was taking a its' first breath. And the ache to be able to live that kind of life – simple and peaceful and safe – returned. It was that wish which had brought her to the Ministry.

It was sickening that a person could be so twistedly evil that they took away peace and shattered lives, corrupted souls and tore families apart.
That good people were forced to risk their lives simply to get the chance to live them.
There were no words for such a corrupt, wicked injustice.
But there were people to fight it.
As the familiar fire rose in her, Tonks steeled herself with renewed vigor. The first spell came her way, and though a myriad of thoughts had flown through her head, barely a moment had passed when she deflected a red light that shot towards her and Ron.

In the next moment she heard a vague whistling from behind her and spun in time to see Lupin shoot a lightning-fast shield charm between her and the spell.
Their eyes met for the briefest moment, both hard with determination and desperate with panic. Tonks wasn't sure what she would have said had she been able to speak with him in that moment. But she knew that she wanted more than anything to fight by his side. But she couldn't – she had to get Ron to safety. She had to leave him.

And so, with panic clutching at her heart and a desperate prayer in her heart that she would see him again, she broke their momentary eye-contact and took off through the minefield in the opposite direction. Her way straight ahead was blocked, and, in a moment of quick-thinking, she dove fifty feet and flew right under the battle commencing in the sky.
Immediately she heard the wind whistling and the sounds of pursuers.
Four Death Eaters saw her maneuver and followed. She cursed, wishing she had at least been able to break out of the circle without pursuit.

"Ron, get ready to fight." She said, her voice hard. "And whatever you do, stay on the broom." She added, not allowing herself to contemplate what would happen if one of them fell.
"I'm ready." He said, though he sounded a bit nervous, his voice was steely, determined.
She was glad to hear that same determination to make it out of this madness alive, and she smiled, feeling adrenaline flood her veins as she swerved a spell.
Ron started to say more, but the Death Eaters she'd hoped – though not really expected – to lose now close behind them.

After the dive, she stayed lower because of the Death Eaters following them. Determinedly, she set them in the direction of Molly's Aunts'; the Death Eaters followed. They weren't going to let them go easily, so she just made for where she needed to be so that they could at least be heading in the right direction while battling. The four following them didn't have very good aims, and so Tonks was able to swerve their spells without having to slow down to shoot spells of her own.

"Hold on Ron," She ordered before risking a sudden upwards lunge back above the cloud cover.
Ron stayed right with her, and she felt a little bit of relief set in as she realized he wouldn't be easy to dislodge.
"I'm glad you're a Quidditch player Ron!" She called as they found their direction again above the clouds.
She looked back to see they had made it to the other side of the fight.

Before she could see anything that would paralise her with too much emotion, she looked away from the fight, simultaneously hoping that few more would follow and needing some to, so that the real Harry had a hope of getting away.
Tonks and Ron didn't have much trouble defeating the four following, and Tonks guessed that they were a young bunch.
During the next ten minutes, they engaged in a mid-air fight. Ron and Tonks made a good team, as it turned out. After a few minutes one of Tonks's spells hit home and the Death Eater started to spiral downward. Another Death Eater fell back to catch him – another sign of how young they were. Tonks had learnt in her years of being an Auror that Death Eaters had no loyalty or even concern for their comrade's safety and well-being.

Two still pursued them though. And so on they fought.
Then finally Ron shot a well-aimed spell at a Death Eater's shoulder; he started to fall from his broom, but his companion fell back to catch him as well.
Tonks leaned forward on the broom, and with a new burst of speed had them flying up into the clouds that were above them and whisking them away.
Ron twisted around to look behind them.
"I think we lost them!" He called over the wind after a minute, sounding relieved.
"Good," She called back, hoping no more would come. "Great fighting, by the way." She added, impressed.
"Thanks," He said, sounding pleased if not slightly dazed. "Good flying."
"Thanks." She smiled, "I'm gonna fly fast." She warned before leaning forward on her broom.
"Go for it." He said, and it sounded like he was grinning.
She smiled and shot forward faster, staying in the clouds to avoid the notice of Death Eaters; though it did get them soaked.

All of a sudden, a red flash shot by her shoulder, accompanied by a crazed cackle she knew all too well...Bellatrix.
Dread and pure fear churned in the pit of her stomach. But she remembered Sirius and allowed determination and anger to fill her instead and she shot a spell back without looking.
Bellatrix and her husband Rodolphus flew up alongside them, along with another masked Death Eater.
Bellatrix had a wickedly amused glint in her eyes.
"Hello doll. Have you missed your auntie? How come you haven't visited?" She asked in a deranged pouty tone before cackling out a laugh.
Rodolphus started shooting spells rapidly and the tension kicked up a notch.

The wind and wet in the clouds helped most of the spells miss their mark – the downside of this was, of course, that Ron and Tonks's spells also went off their mark for the most part.
Rodolphus sent a curse at her and, as she was blocking Bellatrix at the moment, she couldn't possibly avoid it. She cringed, anticipating the impact in advance.
"PROTEGO!" Ron shouted just in time.
Tonks felt a surge of gratitude towards Ron, and relieved, she found her determination and enthusiasm for the fight anew; Ron was a fierce fighter, and Tonks was glad to have him along.

As more spells were fired and near misses occurred, Tonks sent the broom into a dive to avoid another, then came out of the dive, shooting a Stunning Jinx at Bellatrix. Her aunt barely missed it, and she looked furious.
Bellatrix sent a green jet of light towards her, and Tonks knew that there was too much venom in this curse for it to be blocked by a simple Shield Charm, so she dived to avoid it, and then came up, shooting another curse at Bellatrix as she did so.
They continued in this manner, Rodolphus was targeting her too, they paid Ron no attention, and Ron constantly fired spells and curses, and shot shield charms between Tonks and Rodolphus a few times when Tonks was too busy trying not to be killed by Bellatrix. The other Death Eater paid Ron some attention, shooting several curses at him that Ron managed to dodge, but the masked Death Eater was clearly under Bellatrix's orders to mainly target Tonks as well.
Rather than being frightened though, Tonks felt her adrenaline race, she'd always enjoyed a good fight - plus she owed Bellatrix for killing Sirius, and she intended to fix that.

Wind and moisture whipped into her eyes as they flew through the clouds and she barely missed another curse. After retaliating in kind, she dived down out of the cloud cover, so as to see better and give hers and Ron's spells a better chance of finding their mark.
Ron sent a Stunning jinx at the masked one and it hit the Death Eater square in the head, and he fell out of sight. Bellatrix and Rodolphos mostly ignored this, although Rodolphos flicked his wand, sending some sort of spell after him. Tonks felt even more disgust for them – they weren't even loyal to their own comrades.

Tonks ignored Bellatrix's stream of yells and insults as much as she could, but one insult that was shouted at her caught her attention and made her blood boil.
"-MARRIED to that FILTHY DOG! Ought to be so cosy - will you have a family? I'm sure the pups will be precious..." She continued on this stream and Tonks, absolutely furious, shot several spells in quick succession, and Bellatrix nearly didn't miss them. One Stunning spell went straight at her, but she casually flicked a shield charm in front of her a second before it reached her.
Tonks shot another curse angrily and it hit her Aunt's shoulder, throwing her back on her broom and she yelled wordlessly in fury and surprise.
Bellatrix was now behind them, and Rodolphus copied her; now Ron was in the most danger and Tonks didn't like it one bit.
She let her broom drop and then slowed abruptly before pulled back up.
Now they were the ones behind.
Tonks grinned and started firing spells again, and she saw that her Aunt's shoulder was cut.
Not much damage, unfortunately.

They kept fighting and flying for Tonks didn't know how long, but it felt like a lifetime.
They were getting close to Ron's Great Auntie Muriel's now and unease was simmering in the very air around them.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus were still going strong and she wasn't sure exactly how well the protective enchantments were going to work. She knew they would work, but how well would they work?
At this point Bellatrix and Rodolphus were firing Avada Kedavra on every breath, forcing Tonks to do some very quick flying and hexing of her own, and Ron as well.
By now both Ron and Tonks had been hit and they were bleeding, though not badly.

Bellatrix sent another her way and it hit her arm, slashing it open. She winced, gritting her teeth to keep herself from crying out in pain.
Bellatrix sent Avada Kedavra at Tonks once again and it almost reached its mark but she dived just in time.
She fired another curse at Bellatrix but she swerved it.
A spell hit Ron and he uttered a profanity before retaliating.
Again and again Tonks was forced to avoid curses and spells – some of which were so awful that they weren't even taught to most witches and wizards. Spells that would make even the most courageous beg for death.
Avada Kedvra flew at her again and Tonks's heart constricted with fear and shiver of horror at the venom in her aunt's voice. But she would not let her fear rule her; she retaliated and kept fighting. Because that was all there was left to do – and even if it seemed hopeless, they would fight until the bitter end.

With those thoughts firmly in her mind, she continued her desperate fight for her life.
Two green jets of light came flying at them as a red jet flew from Ron's wand, and from Tonks's.
Tonks's missed, but Ron's hit Bellatrix's spell midair, stopping it as Tonks desperately dodged to miss Rodolphus's. Bellatrix yelled a rude insult directed at Ron as the spell backfired and nearly hit her instead. Ron's next spell was dead-on and it found its' mark...Rodolphus's head.
Rodolphos fell back; his head bleeding so much that Tonks could see it even as she flew away.

Relief filled her as Bellatrix was forced to fall back and catch him, or else let him fall to his death.
Tonks shot a few more spells over her shoulder for good measure, one more of them hitting Rodolphus and forcing them to stop their pursuit. She heard Bellatrix's yell of fury as another, final spell hit her.
"Nice one Ron!" She shouted over the wind.
"Thanks! Now if only Hermione could have seen that," He said wistfully.
Tonks laughed, "I'll be sure to tell her you were spectacular." Tonks promised.
Ron laughed, "Well I don't want to put you through too much trouble," Ron joked.
"After a pleasant evening like this? No trouble at all and it'd be downright boring!" Tonks said with a grin, giddy with relief at their success.
"Yeah - quiet isn't it?" He joked.
"Dead silent," She said.
"Disappointing really," Ron said.

After another minute, a faint pop sounded as they flew through the protective barrier of spells surrounding Molly's Auntie Muriel's.
"Yes! We made it!" Tonks said, laughing in sheer relief as they flew through the protective enchantments protecting Great Auntie-Muriel's.
They dived down to just above the ground and jumped off the broom.
Both their faces were bloodied, and Tonks's arm, but all in all Tonks considered herself lucky to be standing in one piece.
She only wished she could have, if nothing else, seriously injured Bellatrix.
"Thank you Ron, you saved my life back there." She said gratefully, giving him a bear hug.
He hugged her back, but Tonks saw his ears were a bit red and he looked a little embarrassed.
She grinned, amused, as the Weasleys' Auntie-Muriel came rushing out of the house.
She was an elderly woman with shrewd eyes and a quick tongue.
"Hey Auntie Muriel," Ron greeted.
"Wotcher," Tonks said, feeling almost jovial. It was, as Tonks called it, the after-battle high.
"Ronald, Nymphadora, what on earth made you so late? Glad you've finally arrived - but you missed your Portkey." She stated, leading them inside as she talked.

When Muriel said Portkey, everyone in the Order flooded into her mind, and fear, pure and cold, filled her veins.
Remus.
What if something happened to him?
And what about everyone else? Fred, George, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, Arthur, Hermione, HARRY, Hagrid, Bill, Fleur…
She was attempting to shove away the onslaught of panic when Muriel turned to face them inside; her eyes widened as really looked at them in the light.
"What in Merlin's name have you done? You've both got blood all over you..." She tsked her tongue and Summoned two towels from the loo, dampening them.
"Well, what happened?" She asked impatiently as she handed them the towels.
"Death Eaters set on us the minute we started. We all split off in our separate directions as planned, so we don't know what happened to anyone else. There had to be at least twenty of them. I don't know how You-Know-Who could have found out. Someone must have betrayed us." Tonks said. But even as she spoke the words she couldn't imagine who it could have been.
Muriel shook her head. "Well at least you two are safe." she said briskly, though a little worried V creased her forehead
"And Bill, was he part of this plan?" Muriel asked, sounding preoccupied.
"Yes," Tonks answered, puzzled by the question – but when she thought, she remembered hearing Molly say once how much Muriel loved Bill.
"He's a good fighter, I'm sure he'll come through just fine," Tonks said, praying she was right.
"I daresay he will," Muriel said, seeming to snap out of her preoccupation.

She fussed them into some chairs, and Tonks sank onto it gratefully, so worried she felt like she might go crazy from it.
Ron looked wound tight with anxiety and tension too and they shared a look. She realized he was in a hurry to get out of here and make sure everyone else was alright too, but after what Muriel had done for them, they couldn't very well just go either.
"Let's get you two fixed up properly. Would like some tea? I'd made some, most likely to be cold now, but I can remedy that in a jif..." Said Muriel, bustling towards what, apparently, was the kitchen.

Tonks heard the tap running on metal, and then after a minute Muriel came back, checking them each over with sharp eyes.
"Thank you so much for letting us to put a Portkey in here - you saved our lives." Tonks said frankly, grateful.
"Of course, of course," She said, waving a hand in the air to signify that it was no trouble.
"Thanks Auntie-Muriel," Ron said, echoing Tonks's sentiments.
"Well clean yourselves up, I'll get the tea." She said briskly, bustling back to the kitchen.

Tonks stepped over to a mirror so she could clean up her face.
There was a gash on her forehead that her hair hid rather well, though blood was dripping from it, and blood and moisture on her face.
Ron had several cuts on his forehead but looked alright, just very worn out. He'd been brilliant.
She wiped the blood and dirt off her face quickly, grateful for Muriel's thoughtfulness.
Tonks then looked down at her arm, feeling it throbbing for the first time now that she didn't have someone trying to kill her as a distraction.
It was a deep slash, still bleeding badly, and the blood was slowly soaking down the arm of her robes.
She winced as she pulled the fabric sticky with her blood away from the wound.
Well overall it's much better than I've fared in some battles. She thought wryly.

She pulled out her wand and took a breath, preparing to heal the wound. But her hands were still shaking from the intensity of the fight with Bellatrix. Rather than worsening her predicament, she simply put her wand away and cleaned around the wound as best she could.
Internally she was attempting to suppress her panic about Lupin and the others; panicking wouldn't help anything.
Ron looked worried too.
"We need to get back as soon as we can," He said, and she knew he was thinking along the same lines as her.
"Let's get another Portkey set then," She said.
Muriel came back in then, carrying two cups of tea.
"There you go, drink those, it'll help. I just put a bit of a healing potion in there. It'll help with the aches tomorrow." She said, placing the cups of tea in Tonks and Ron's reluctant hands.
"Thank you so much for everything - but we need to get another Portkey set up so we can get back and make sure everyone's alright." Tonks said, trying to politely convey the fact that they had to go.

As Tonks was speaking, Muriel's eyes landed on Tonks's injured arm.
"Merlin's beard! What happened to your arm girl?" She exclaimed.
"Bellatrix," Tonks muttered, wishing she'd thought of some way to hide the wound.
"I'm out of Dittany...but this ought to help." Muriel said mostly to herself as she buzzed about in a flurry of worry and stern admonitions of how to care for it so it wouldn't get infected.

But Tonks wasn't in the least bit worried about her arm.
Much to Tonks's frustration, Muriel took the next five minutes fussing over her, cleaning the wound, and making sure Ron was alright, inspecting him carefully.
After another fifteen minutes Tonks was about ready to just leave.
"All right, the Portkey." Muriel muttered right as Tonks was about to impatiently remind her.
Muriel took out her wand, picked up one of their empty tea cups and muttered the enchantments, making it a Portkey to the Burrow in five minutes.
Five minutes...they passed like an eternity, and Tonks, worried as she was, heard barely anything Muriel said.
She looked at the clock and saw that not even two minutes had passed. Eternity ticked on, so slowly.

---

Lupin's POV:

Remus Lupin landed in the front yard of the Burrow, supporting George, who was losing blood at an alarming rate.
Molly, Hagrid and Harry met them there.
Horrified looks dawned on their faces when they saw George.
Harry rushed forward and helped Lupin support him and they got him into the house, laying him on the sofa. Molly was in tears as she bent over her son. Ginny gasped in horror. As soon as Molly bent over him, Lupin turned and grabbed Harry by his arm and dragged him back to the kitchen. They had been betrayed; a Death Eater could have taken Polyjuice to look like any one of them and betrayed the plan and infiltrated them.
He had to be sure of everyone who came back.
Harry looked stunned.

Hagrid was trying to get himself through the back door. When he saw Lupin dragging Harry he protested loudly, "Oi! Le' go of him! Le' go of Harry!" He said indignantly.
Lupin ignored Hagrid, pinning "Harry" with his eyes.
"What creature sat in the corner the first time that Harry Potter visited my office at Hogwarts?" He asked, giving Harry a small shake, and yelling though he hadn't meant to.
He couldn't help it. Everyone had been put at jeopardy because of this, and he wanted to know how it happened.
And Dora.
What if something happened to her? It didn't exactly ease his mind to know that the most notorious Death Eater and her family had a bloodthirsty grudge against his wife simply because Dora's father had married her mum – the only sane Black woman that had ever breathed.

He forced his mind away from his worried thoughts and back to "Harry's" bewildered face.
"Answer me!" He demanded.
"A-a grindlylow in a tank, wasn't it?" Harry replied.
Lupin released him with a sigh of relief. The traitor wasn't among them...not yet at least.
Now he just had to wait and pray that Dora was alright and would return to him.

"Wha' was tha' about?" Hagrid roared angrily.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but I had to check," he explained tersely. "We've been betrayed. Voldemort knew that you were being moved tonight and the only people who could have told him were directly involved in the plan. You might have been an impostor." Lupin clarified his actions.
"So why aren' you checkin' me?" Hagrid panted as he continued to attempt to fit through the door.
"You're half-giant," Lupin said, looking up at his friend. "The Polyjuice Potion is designed for human use only."
"None of the Order would have told Voldemort we were moving tonight," Harry said, looking disturbed at the thought. "Voldemort only caught up with me toward the end, he didn't know which one I was in the beginning. If he'd been in on the plan he'd have known from the start I was the one with Hagrid." Harry said, seeming unwilling to believe this of any of his friends.

Horror filled him at the knowledge Harry had been in such peril - again.
"Voldemort caught up with you?" He asked sharply. "What happened? How did you escape?"
Harry briefly explained what had happened. The Death Eaters recognizing him, and his and Voldemort's brief battle.
"They recognized you? But how? What had you done?" He asked, wondering how it was possible they could have singled him out so quickly amongst seven different Harrys.
"I..." Harry paused, his eyes shadowed with that look that spoke of experience and pain far beyond his years. "I saw Stan Shunpike...You know, the bloke who was the conductor of the Knight Bus? And I tried to Disarm him instead of - well, he doesn't know what he's doing, does he? He must be Imperiused!" Harry said.
Pity and sadness filled Lupin.

Sometimes Harry reminded Lupin so much of James that it was painful. How he missed his old friends. He pulled his thoughts forcefully away from that also.
He was aghast that Harry would do something so obvious and reckless.
"Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to capture and kill you! At least Stun if you aren't prepared to kill!" He said, wondering how Harry could have been so foolish as to do something so recognizable.
"We were hundreds of feet up! Stan's not himself, and if I Stunned him and he'd fallen, he'd have died the same as if I'd used Avada Kedavra! Expelliarmus saved me from Voldemort two years ago," Harry tacked onto the end a bit defensively.
"Yes, Harry," Lupin said, restraining his temper and forcing himself to speak patiently. "And a great number of Death Eaters witnessed that happening! Forgive me, but it was a very unusual move then, under imminent threat of death. Repeating it tonight in front of Death Eaters who either witnessed or heard about the first occasion was close to suicidal!" He said frankly, worn with the night's events and feeling impatient and anxious because still no one else was back.

"So you think I should have killed Stan Shunpike?" Harry said angrily.
He didn't want to argue with Harry, but Harry needed to see how dangerous his actions were.
"Of course not," Lupin said, "but the Death Eaters - frankly, most people! -would have expected you to attack back! Expelliarmus is a useful spell, Harry, but the Death Eaters seem to think it is your signature move, and I urge you not to let it become so!"
Harry looked embarrassed, but defiant. Lupin felt a twinge of guilt for arguing with him like this after the trauma of the night's events, but Harry needed to understand the danger this could put him in so that he wouldn't repeat the mistake later.
"I won't blast people out of my way just because they're there," Harry said, voice hard, "that's Voldemort's job."
Lupin didn't have a retort for that, because Harry was right.

His frustration drained and he realized it wasn't fair to argue with Harry as a nerve-outlet. He hadn't been doing so consciously, but still, he'd done so regardless.
Lupin was reminded once again what a good man Harry had become.
James and Lily would be so proud of him. He thought sadly.
Hagrid finally managed to squeeze himself through the door. He fell into a chair and it collapsed into a pile of rubble. His muttered oaths and apologies were ignored by Lupin as Harry addressed him once again.
"Will George be okay?" Harry asked, worried.
"I think so, although there's no chance of replacing his ear, not when it's been cursed off."

A scuffling from outside the house drew his attention and he dived for the back door, praying it was Dora.
Harry followed him at a run.
It was Kingsley and Hermione. They were clutching the broken coat-hanger that had been their Portkey.
Lupin was relieved to see that they were all right, but his suppressed panic about Dora was even more prevalent and ubiquitous. She and Ron should have already been back. Indeed, they should have been the first back.
Hermione, whose appearance was in mid-transformation back to herself, flung her arms around Harry.

Kingsley turned and raised his wand, pointing it at Lupin's chest.
Lupin mirrored this gesture.
"The last words Albus Dumbledore spoke to the pair of us?" Kingsley asked.
"'Harry is the best hope we have. Trust him,'" Lupin quoted calmly.
Kingsley turned to point his wand at Harry and Lupin stopped him.
"It's him, I've checked!"
"All right, all right!" Kingsley said as he stowed his wand under his cloak.
"But somebody betrayed us! They knew, they knew it was tonight!"
"So it seems," replied Lupin, "but apparently they did not realize that there would be seven Harrys."
"Small comfort!" Kingsley snarled.

It had been a long time since Lupin had seen Kingsley angry; since...well since he couldn't remember when.
"Who else is back?" Kingsley asked.
"Only Harry, Hagrid, George and me."
A little frightened moan came from Hermione.
"What happened to you?" Lupin asked Kingsley, needing something else to think about.
"Followed by five, injured two, might've killed one." Kingsley ticked off the list quickly, "and we saw You-Know-Who as well, he joined the chase halfway through but vanished pretty quickly. Remus, he can-"

"Fly," Harry supplied, "I saw him too, he came after Hagrid and me."
"So that's why he left, to follow you!" Kingsley said, "I couldn't understand why he'd vanished. But what made him change targets?" Kingsley asked, looking enlightened and confused at the same time.
"Harry behaved a little too kindly to Stan Shunpike," Lupin explained.
"Stan?" Hermione repeated, looking surprised. "But I thought he was in Azkaban?" She said, looking surprised.

Kingsley out a humorless laugh.
"Hermione, there's obviously been a mass breakout which the Ministry has hushed up. Traver's hood fell off when I cursed him, he's supposed to be inside too. But what happened to you, Remus? Where's George?"
"He's lost an ear," Lupin said grimly.
"Lost an-" Hermione repeated, her voice high and off.
"Snape's work." Lupin said angrily.
"SNAPE?" Harry shouted. "You didn't say-"
"He lost his hood during the chase. Sectumsempra was always a specialty of Snape's. I wish I could say I'd paid him back in kind, but it was all I could do to keep George on the broom after he was injured, he was losing so much blood." He said, hating the memory.

Silence fell then, and Lupin stared up at the sky, willing Dora to appear in the sky with each moment that passed.
Willing anyone to appear.
Where were Tonks and Ron, Arthur, Fred, Mad-Eye, Bill, Fleur, and Mundungus? He would welcome the sight of any of them right now.
"Harry, give us a hand!" Hagrid called from where he was stuck in the back door again.
Harry headed off to help Hagrid and then stayed inside. Lupin was rooted to the spot, waiting.

Two figures suddenly appeared in the darkness at the edge of the yard.
Arthur and Fred.
Lupin told him as gently as possible what had happened and he and Fred ran towards the house.
A moment later he heard Arthur's shout, "I'll prove who I am, Kingsley, after I've seen my son, now back off if you know what's good for you!"
Lupin remained where he was, unable to move or look away from the sky.
Hermione came and stood silently by his side, as did Hagrid.
Kingsley came back outside, and took to pacing.
Lupin barely noticed as Harry and Ginny, hands linked, joined their silent vigil, staring up at the sky. Every moment he hoped to see a broom appear in the air, and as each moment passed, he was disappointed, and his gnawing panic increased.

Another fifteen minutes passed.
They may as well have been years.
There was no sign of them still.
He tried to be reasonable; she and Ron had missed their first Portkey after all. She would have to wait for another one.
And Ron - was he alright? Could that be what was keeping her?
Or something else, something worse?
Dread clenched in his stomach at the mere thought and he shoved it aside. He had to believe they were both alright.
But Merlin, how would he live if something happened to her?
Fear clogged his throat; his mind flew back to what had happened that morning...

She was pregnant...having a baby. They were having a baby.
His first thought was unthinking disbelief and joy. He was going to be a… father. Dora was carrying his baby.

His hand went to her stomach of its own accord, resting there, awed that their child was growing in her.
He was amazed. Overjoyed.
But then another thought hit him that drained his joy like a dark cloud over the sun.
Shame welled up in him. How could he have burdened her like this?
He looked at Dora to see her reaction.
She was positively glowing.
A love for his wife overwhelmed him, and he pulled her close.

He felt horror rise in him; did she not realize what their child would be burdened with?
All because of him.
What had he done? Even if, by some miracle, the child wasn't like him, his family would never be accepted in society. By anyone. Even Dora's family would be disgusted. None of them could ever have normal lives. Could she truly not see what this meant? The ramifications would be devastating to all of them.
He wanted to talk to her about it, but he just couldn't wipe that beautiful smile off her radiant face.
He wished he were a normal man, a man who could rejoice at knowing he was going to be a father.

But he could not. He was not the sort of father any child should have.
She pulled back a bit to look into his eyes, and he bit back the words screaming to get out when he saw her dancing eyes.
Seeing her joy killed him. Broke him in a way he hadn't even known he could be broken. And he had been sure that he had been broken in nearly all the ways anyone could possibly be. Being wrong had never been so painful.
Didn't she realize what hardships lay ahead?

How he hated himself for ruining her life this way. She should have been able to be happy she was going to be a mother - not having to worry that perhaps their child would be afflicted with the curse that had haunted him since childhood.
I should have been stronger…should never have married her. He thought miserably.
I'm not good enough for her; she deserves so much more than I'm giving her.
She caressed his face and his anguish intensified. He was the luckiest man in the world. Dora was the only woman he had ever loved, would ever love, and he loved her more than life itself.
His tortured thoughts were interrupted by her lips colliding with his.
Her kiss was exultant, full of joy; his arms went round her waist, drawing her closer without conscious permission on his part.
The kiss deepened slowly; her soft moan sent him over the edge and he lost the restraint he'd been trying to keep and kissed her ardently.
The tears flowing down her face were caught by the hand that was holding her face. He let his hands travel slowly down to her waist, and she gasped, pulling him closer.
He kissed her fiercely, his joy and anguish conflicting each other.
He wished he could stay in this moment forever, wished he deserved to be happy like this...

Even as these memories flowed in an unbroken stream through his mind, still he stared at the sky, almost in a trance.
And suddenly what he'd been waiting for, a sight so incredibly welcome, appeared before him: Dora and Ron's broomstick appeared in the sky above them.
The relief and joy he –and indeed all of them - felt at seeing them was accented by Hermione's shout: "It's them!"
Intense, staggering relief flooded through him as he watched Dora and Ron shoot down towards them.
Dora skidded, sending earth and pebbles flying everywhere.
"Remus!" She cried, staggering off of the broom and into his arms.

He embraced her tightly; his relief hadn't completely set in and horrible emotions were still crippling him at the idea that she might not have returned.
She was alright, the baby was alright. Relief didn't even begin to cover how he was feeling.
Her arms around him, feeling each of her breaths against him, and her body held in the cradle of his arms began to ease his panic.
She was right here. She was safe.
He saw Ron and Hermione's exchange over his wife's shoulder as those thoughts passed through his head.
"You're ok." Ron mumbled, tripping towards Harry and Hermione.
Hermione flew at him, hugging him tightly.
"I thought-I thought-"
"'M all right," Ron said, patting her on the back. "'M fine."

Dora let him go and he reluctantly released her. He never wanted to let her out of his sight again, but he knew that wasn't exactly reasonable.
"Ron was great," Dora said warmly. "Wonderful. Stunned one of the Death Eaters, straight to the head, and when you're aiming at a moving target from a flying broom-"
Lupin felt a flood of gratitude towards Ron.
"You did?" Hermione said, gazing up at Ron with her arms still wrapped around him.
"Always the tone of surprise," he said as he let her go. "Are we the last back?"
"No," Ginny said, "we're still waiting for Bill and Fleur and Mad-Eye and Mundungus. I'm going to tell Mum and Dad you're okay, Ron-" She ran into the house.

"So what kept you? What happened?" He asked tensely, already angry because he knew which Death Eater would have tormented his wife tonight.
"Bellatrix," She said, confirming his suspicions.
"She wants me quite as much as she wants Harry, Remus, she tried very hard to kill me. I just wish I'd got her. I owe Bellatrix. But we definitely injured Rodolphus...Then we got to Ron's Auntie Muriel's and we'd missed our Portkey and she was fussing over us-" Dora explained.
His jaw was clenched tight. Bellatrix wanted Dora...and when Bellatrix wanted someone they usually didn't survive long.
Worry about what could have happened that night and the danger Dora would be facing from here on out had him tense and still slightly panicky.
Dora turned to the others, seeming to sense that he needed a minute to calm down.

"So what happened to you lot?" She asked Harry, Hermione, and Kingsley.
They recounted the stories of their fights and arrivals as well as who had been after them and who they thought they'd injured.
Lupin relaxed some; his relief starting to overcome his lingering panic. Seeing her in front of him was gradually easing his tension; he watched her talking to the others, hands moving as she demonstrated something that had happened and her pink hair bobbed with her movement; he was finally able to let out the huge breath that had seemed to be stuck until now.

Yet the continued absence of Bill, Fleur, Mad-Eye, and Mundungus weighed heavy on them all.
"I'm going to have to get back to Downing Street, I should have been there an hour ago," Kingsley said, breaking the silence, "Let me know when they're back." He said.
Lupin nodded that he would.
Kingsley waved to the others and then strode to the fence that surrounded the Burrow and out of the protective enchantments.
A distant pop sounded as he Disapparated.
Arthur and Molly came running outside, followed by Ginny.
They both hugged Ron before turning to Tonks and Lupin.
"Thank you," Molly said, "for our sons."
"Don't be silly Molly." Dora said quickly.
"How's George?" Lupin asked.

He still felt responsible for what had happened; he should have done something… anything. At least he'd kept him on the broom - that was the most important thing.
"What's wrong with him?" Asked Ron.
"He's lost-"
But the general outcry that arose the appearance of a Thestral drowned out the rest of Molly's sentence.
Bill and Fleur slid off the Thestral, looking worn but unharmed.
Lupin breathed a sigh of relief.
Now Mad-Eye and Mundungus and then they could all breathe easier.
"Bill! Thank God, thank God-" Molly rushed forward, hugging her son.
But Lupin felt dread in the pit of his stomach when he saw the look on Bill's face...he prayed for a contradiction of the awful thought that had just formed in his head.
But that look - that look he had seen so much during the First War. A glance confirmed that Fleur wore it as well.
Bill hugged his mother, but looked directly at Arthur, and Bill's words shocked them all, seemed impossible...
"Mad-Eye's dead."

---

Back to Tonks's POV...

It felt like the world had stopped. The joy and relief she'd felt at seeing Lupin and the others faded like a candle being extinguished.
Could that even be true? It felt impossible.
"We saw it," Bill said; Fleur nodded, tears falling down her face.
She felt so cold all of a sudden; this couldn't be happening. Her shocked mind was reeling, and refused the words.
"It happened just after we broke out of the circle: Mad-Eye and Dung were close by us, they were heading North too. Voldemort - he can fly - went straight for them. Dung panicked, I heard him cry out, Mad-Eye tried to stop him, but he Disapparated. Voldemort's curse hit Mad-Eye full in the face, he fell backward off his broom and - there was nothing we could do, nothing, we had half a dozen of them on our own tail -" Bill's voice broke and another, different sorrow filled her at what her friend had seen and the guilt she knew he would inflict upon himself, though it wasn't his fault.
"Of course you couldn't have done anything," Lupin said.

He was right, she only felt sorry because she knew how Bill would suffer thinking that he could have. Just as she did with Sirius. But Lupin was right, there was nothing.
He was gone.
Mad-Eye was so tough, resilient, vigilant. And yet so alive, almost a softie underneath the hardened Auror he was on the outside.
She couldn't graspit.

After a minute everyone seemed to realize there was no point standing outside anymore. They all walked back into the house.
Fred and George were laughing together. When they saw their family's faces though, they asked,
"What's wrong?" Asked Fred.
"What's happened? Who's -"
"Mad-Eye." Arthur answered, "Dead."
The twin's faces froze in shock.

Tonks collapsed onto a chair, tears overcoming her before she could stop them. But she couldn't find it in her to care. Lupin stood beside her, handing her a handkerchief and laying a hand on her shoulder. He was stiff beside her, and even through her grief and shock she could sense his disbelief and pain.
It just didn't seem like it could be real. Mad-Eye...gone...dead...never coming back.
Tonks glanced around the room and saw that everyone felt the same disbelief she did.
Fleur had tears running down her face too, and Tonks felt very grateful for her friends and her husband in that moment.
Hagrid sat down in the corner, dabbing his eyes with his table-cloth sized hankie.
She wished she could have told Mad-Eye goodbye, there were so many things she wanted to thank him for.
So much he'd taught her, how much she loved him; that he was like her father too.

For a minute, Tonks wasn't aware of anything happening in that room.
Her mind was in the memory from earlier that day, talking with Mad-Eye at home.
Could that have been just this morning?
Already it seemed a lifetime ago.
"Here," Bill's voice said, breaking her reverie.
When a glass of fire whiskey came floating towards her, she took it gratefully.
"Mad-Eye." He said.
"Mad-Eye." They all echoed before drinking.

Tonks downed half the whiskey, and for the first time in her brief and disastrous alcohol history, didn't pull a face when she tasted it – instead she simply hoped it'd help somehow.
Lupin downed his whole glass.
"Mad-Eye." Hagrid said a bit late.
"So Mundungus disappeared?" Lupin said.
The atmosphere changed instantly, everyone tensed, watching Lupin.
Waiting with both apprehension and curiosity.
"I know what you're thinking," said Bill, "and I wondered that too, on the way back here, because they seemed to be expecting us, didn't they? But Mundungus can't have betrayed us. They didn't know there would be seven Harrys, that confused them the moment we appeared, and in case you've forgotten, it was Mundungus who suggested that little bit of skullduggery. Why wouldn't he have told them the essential point? I think Dung panicked, it's as simple as that. He didn't want to come in the first place, but Mad-Eye made him, and You-Know-Who went straight for them. It was enough to make anyone panic."

Tonks sniffled; Mad-Eye always knew what to expect. She still couldn't quite get her head around the fact that he wasn't going to come limping through the door.
"You-Know-Who acted exactly as Mad-Eye expected him to," She said, her voice thick, "Mad-Eye said he'd expect the real Harry to be with the toughest, most skilled Aurors. He chased Mad-Eye first, and when Mundungus gave them away he switched to Kingsley..."
"Yes, and zat eez all very good," snapped Fluer, "but still eet does not explain 'ow zey knew we were moving 'Arry tonight, does eet? Somebody must 'ave been careless. Somebody let slip ze date to an outsider. It is ze only explanation for zem knowing ze date but not ze 'ole plan." She glared around the room, tear tracks still running down her beautiful face as she silently dared any of them to contradict her.
No one did so.

Hagrid hiccupped, but otherwise the room was silent.
"No," Harry said all of a sudden, his voice a bit louder from the firewhiskey, "I mean...if somebody make a mistake, and let something slip, I know they didn't mean to do it. It's not their fault," Harry repeated, conviction in his voice. "We've got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don't think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort." He finished.
The room was silent for a moment, and Harry took another gulp of firewhiskey.

Tonks had tears in her eyes; she knew Mad-Eye's scathing view of trusting others too easily, but in this instance, she agreed whole-heartedly with Harry.
So, it seemed, did Fred and George:
"Well said, Harry." Fred said.
"Yeah, 'ear, 'ear," George said, and Fred's mouth twitched a bit.
Lupin however, did not agree with Harry, and as Tonks reflected over the model he'd seen in his life... His best friends murdered and the other sent to Azkaban because another 'friend' had betrayed them, his mentor murdered by someone who ought to have been loyal...it certainly explained the pitying, sad look on his face as he stared at his dead friend's son.

"You think I'm a fool?" demanded Harry.
"No, I think you're like James," Lupin said, "who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends." Lupin said, and Tonks wondered if she was the only one who heard the sadness in his voice.
Her mind flashed back to the story, to Pettigrew, a 'friend', who had betrayed them.
Tonks saw Harry's anger flash into his eyes, but sorrow as well.
Why is there so much sorrow in the world?She wondered achingly.

Lupin turned away from Harry, and Tonks could tell he didn't want to argue with him.
The reason they clashed so much, Tonks thought, was because, despite that what each of them had been through was different, they were much alike. Both so good - too good - to have known as much hurt as they did.
Lupin spoke again to the room at large,
"There's work to do. I can ask Kingsley whether -"
"No," Bill said at once, "I'll do it, I'll come."
"Where are you going?" She asked at the same time as Fleur.
"Mad-Eye's body," Lupin said quickly, "We need to recover it."
"Can't it -" Molly started, clearly not wanting her son in harm's way again so soon.
"Wait?" Bill finished. "Not unless you'd rather the Death Eaters took it?"

Nobody said anything, but fury filled Tonks at the idea, and she bade her husband and Bill goodbye, feeling grateful that they were looking for him, but knowing she would worry till they returned.
Everyone else sat exhaustedly, except for Harry, whose sad, weary eyes turned to Molly.
"I've got to go too," said Harry.
Tonks could have hugged him; but he couldn't go. He was finally safe, and he had to stay that way, or none of them would be.
"Don't be silly, Harry," Molly said. "What are you talking about?"
"I can't stay here." He said, rubbing his forehead as though it pained him.
"You're all in danger while I'm here. I don't want -"

More tears came to Tonks's eyes in sympathy for him, and she watched the events unfold, heartbreak for Harry and for losing Mad-Eye overwhelming her to the point of exhausted, aching numbness.
"But don't be so silly!" Molly exclaimed. "The whole point of tonight was to get you here safely, and thank goodness it worked. And Fleur's agreed to get married here rather than in France, we've arranged everything so we can all stay together and look after you -"

Harry looked like he felt worse at hearing this.
"If Voldemort finds out I'm here -"
"But why should he?" Molly asked.
"There are a dozen places you might be now Harry," Arthur said. "He's got no way of knowing which safe house you're in."
"It's not me I'm worried for!" Harry exclaimed, and the pain and exhaustion in his eyes, far too much for some so young, made her ache for him.
"We know that," Arthur said quietly, and Tonks could tell he was thinking along the same lines as her, "but it would make our efforts tonight seem rather pointless if you left." He said gently.
"Yer not goin' anywhere," Hagrid growled protectively. "Blimey, Harry, after all we wen' through ter get you here?"
"Yeah, what about my bleeding ear?" George protested, hoisting himself up on the cushions.
"I know that -"
"Mad-Eye wouldn't want -"
"I KNOW!" Harry bellowed.

He looked angry and devastated all at once, and Tonks could see he was placing far too much blame on himself. He wasn't to blame at all, this could have happened anytime, it wasn't his fault. In these dangerous times it was a scary possibility they faced every day, and as Tonks sat watching her friends – family really - she couldn't help but be afraid at who could be next.
"Where's Hedwig Harry?" Molly coaxed after a minute of silence. "We can put her up with Pidgwigeon and give her something to eat."
Harry's face fell into even more sadness. He looked... ashamed, and though he didn't answer Molly, Tonks knew that Hedwig was gone.
He was blaming himself for that too.
Poor Harry.She thought miserably.

Harry downed the rest of his firewhiskey as Hagrid spoke up.
"Wait till it gets out yeh did it again, Harry," Hagrid said. "Escaped him, fought him off when he was on top of yeh!"
"It wasn't me," Harry said, voice flat, "it was my wand. My wand acted of its own accord." He said.
Tonks vaguely wondered how that was possible, but as tired and devastated as she was, she was watching these events unfold numbly, pain and sorrow the only registering emotions. And though she knew the err of her thoughts, she wondered in that moment if she would ever feel anything else.
"But that's impossible, Harry." said Hermione gently, "You mean that you did magic without meaning to; you reacted instinctively."
"No," Harry said. "The bike was falling, I couldn't have told you where Voldemort was, but my wand spun in my hand and found him and shot a spell at him, and it wasn't even a spell I recognized. I've never made gold flames appear before."
"Often," Arthur spoke up slowly, "when you're in a pressured situation you can produce magic you never dreamed of. Small children often find, before they're trained -"
"It wasn't like that," Harry said impatiently, sounding pained and frustrated.

No one spoke, and after a moment, Harry got up and left the room, muttering about fresh air.
After another moment, Ron and Hermione also left the room, silently, to make sure he was alright, Tonks imagined.
Tonks knew she should leave, but she didn't want to go anywhere till Lupin came back.
Hagrid didn't look like he was going anywhere either though; he was still dabbing at his eyes with his now damp hankie. The shock of Mad-Eye being gone was still such that Tonks really didn't believe it, not yet.
When she saw his...his body...she knew the reality would set in.

She cleared her throat quietly, and then spoke to Molly.
"Molly, okay with you if I'm here till Remus gets back?" She asked quietly.
"Of course Tonks," She said kindly. "Would you like some tea?" She asked tiredly, moving as though to stand up.
"No, please don't trouble yourself Molly. I'm fine." She said, not wanting to put out her friend any further.
"Alright dear," She said, looking grateful, and sank back against her chair next to George's spot, her hand in Arthur's.
Fleur sat tall and anxiously, her eyes on the window and door; waiting for Bill, Tonks knew.
Fleur was worried, and Tonks understood that completely. She would feel much better when Lupin was here again.
She hoped they were alright.
She stared out the window into the night, not really seeing, not thinking.
Numb.

This night had been so long, and it seemed unreal still that her longtime mentor and friend could just so suddenly be...gone.
She wiped at her eyes again, and glanced over at Fleur, whose hands were twisted tightly together in her lap.
Her face was tear-stained and she looked exhausted, though, being Fleur, she was still breathtakingly beautiful.
Fleur looked at Tonks and their eyes met. Fleur's startlingly beautiful eyes softened understandingly, and she came and sat by the window in the chair next to Tonks's.
Tonks felt silent appreciation for their somewhat unlikely friendship.

Time passed, and though Tonks wasn't sure how long it'd been, it felt like too long.
Finally, a loud crack sounded and Tonks and Fleur jumped up and dashed out the door to see the men they loved entering the yard.
Relief flooded her as soon as she saw Lupin.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione met them in the yard too.

Even as much as she'd been dreading seeing the confirmation of Mad-Eye's death, Tonks's heart sank to her knees when she saw that they were empty-handed.
"What 'appened?" Fleur asked anxiously.
Did you find him?" Harry and Fleur asked the questions Tonks couldn't voice; she wasn't sure if she could talk at all right now.
"We couldn't find him; didn't see any sign of him. We tried retracing the route we took, but we could've been anywhere when he fell...I just hope they didn't get to him."
Bill said quietly.

Silent tears poured down her face.
She'd never see him again, would she?
Lupin spoke gently, looking between Harry and Tonks, "We'll look again tomorrow, when it's light out. But..." He trailed off, and she heard what he wasn't saying... it was unlikely they would find him.
Tonks felt more tears coming, and she knew her grief wouldn't remain silent. She looked up at Lupin's tired face imploringly.
He met her eyes briefly and seemed to understand what she meant, what she needed.
"We're going to go," Lupin said wearily to Bill. "Give our thanks to everyone, and I'll see you first thing tomorrow Bill."
Tonks nodded to them all, still unable to speak.
Bill nodded, and Fleur bade them a subdued farewell. They headed to the house, Bill's arm around Fleur's shoulders.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione quietly bid them farewell and followed Bill and Fleur back inside the Burrow.
Tonks and Lupin made their way out of the Burrow's boundaries and then Lupin took her hand and Disapparated them home.

They walked inside, exhausted and sorrowful.
As soon as Tonks walked in the door, the memory of Mad-Eye's visit earlier that day flooded her mind and a sob escaped her, tears blurring her eyes so much that she couldn't see.
"Dora," Lupin whispered sadly, wrapping his arms around her as sobs shook her shoulders.
He pulled away after a moment, "What happened to your arm?" He exclaimed, alarmed.
Her numb, sorrowed mind couldn't really worry too much about this; she'd forgotten to ask Molly for something to clean her robes with in the midst of everything that had happened.
"Oh… I forgot. Bellatrix." She said blankly. She felt as though she was somehow removed from him, so distant from life; from good things and light, warmth and happiness.

He shook his head, "Forgot...still bleeding...Bellatrix..." She caught snatches of what he muttered to himself as he Summoned a soft wet cloth.
"How attached are you to these robes?" He asked.
"Not at all." Tonks said, her voice hoarse and thick from tears.
He tore the sleeve carefully and removed the temporary bandage Muriel had put on it.
She gritted her teeth as he touched the bandage, even though he was gentle.
Lupin looked up into her eyes worriedly, "I'm sorry sweetheart." he murmured apologetically.
"I'm going to have to take this bandage off. I'll try to be as gentle as possible." He said softly.

At the sound of his soft voice, tone touched with his own pain as well as his worry for her - and the pain she was in - the numb, cold curtain that had seemed to be separating her from reality drew away. Everything seemed too clear, too real now. She ached for a denial of the painful reality of tonight.
But none would come. She focused on Lupin, who was slowly working the bandages away from the wound they were sticking to.
He winced when he got a look at the gash, his eyes tightening, jaw set, though his hands remained so gentle.

He picked up the cloth and wiped away the blood very carefully, then Summoned a small bottle of Essence of Dittany to heal the wound.
"This might sting a bit," He warned, looking up, waiting for her permission.
Looking up, she saw that his eyes held troubled tenderness, and her own eyes filled with tears at the sight.
She nodded and he gently, carefully dropped it into the wound.
Air hissed through her teeth at the feel of it.
"I'm sorry sweetheart," He apologized again.
"No it's fine - it needs to be done." She managed wearily.

He finished cleaning her wound, holding her other hand as he did so.
Then he tended to the cut on her forehead in the same manner.
Her heart filled with love for him, and gratitude for his thoughtful gentleness, as he cared for her so tenderly, and her chin trembled again before she could stop it.
Lupin noticed, "Oh Dora," He said huskily, his voice sad.
"Come here," He murmured, taking her to the couch and into his arms, holding her close.
"I'm sorry, Dora. So sorry." He said quietly.

She wished she could tell him she was sorry, because she knew this loss was hard for him too, but her voice wouldn't work.
The sobs shook her entire body and she was powerless to stop them.
She'd never hear the words "constant vigilance" pass from Mad-Eye's lips again, or see that almost gruff but fond look in his eye that he'd always given her. Never get to tease him again, or be startled by that knowing way he had always had with her.
Her shoulders shook and her heart ached as a hundred memories of him spun through her head.
She'd known Mad-Eye ever since right after she'd graduated Hogwarts, when she had joined the Auror programme at the Ministry, and she felt lost without him. The world already seemed a darker place.
"I'm right here," He whispered as she cried.
She felt a new wave of tears take hold of her; how was it he knew that she'd been feeling afraid, vulnerable, and wondering what the Order would do without Mad-Eye?
Lupin held her in a vise-like grasp, shedding only a single tear, but the nearly uncomfortable tenacity of his arms bound around her belied his pain. She clung to him tightly in return, never wanting to let go. Lupin continued to stroke her hair gently, while whispering occasional words of comfort.
It seemed like an eternity that they sat awake, grieving.
And for how long that sat that way, she had no idea, but she eventually fell into an exhausted sleep in his arms, spent from her tears and the long fight and the awful loss they had all suffered.

---

The next morning when she awoke, she found herself lying in bed, Lupin asleep next to her. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep on the couch in his arms, after crying because...
Mad-Eye.
Pain shot through her and tears filled her eyes again.
She tried to focus on something else, and stared at Lupin's sleeping face, taking in the familiar sight of his light brown fringe falling slightly over his eyelids, thinking how grateful she was to have him when everything seemed so dangerous and uncertain.

The memory of last night, of losing Mad-Eye, was too much, and she fought to keep her tears at bay and think of something else.
But as she watched her husband's peaceful sleep, she suddenly remembered that too composed look in his eyes before...at the Burrow. She puzzled over it again for a moment, grasping at the mystery as a distraction from the sorrow.
And suddenly it came to mind where she'd seen it before. She'd seen that look so many times, in so many painful memories. All from when he was about to try and talk himself out of their relationship...she'd seen it the day after Sirius died, the night he'd finally come back from infiltrating the werewolves, and so many other times. Too many others not to recognize it.
What if he...?She couldn't allow herself to finish the thought, but a tiny sob escaped her at the idea and she quickly tried to quiet her tears so she wouldn't wake him. He'd already stayed up with her nearly all night till she could sleep; it was hardly a kind repayment to wake him again now.

But it was a bit late as he'd awoken at the sound of her sob.
He opened his eyes sleepily, a concerned expression already on his face. When he saw her tears he spoke, "Dora, Dora," He whispered, gathering her close in his arms.
She couldn't hold back her tears any longer.
"Sweetheart…I'm so sorry," He said huskily. He'd known Mad-Eye longer than her; but they'd both loved him.
She knew he understood her pain, but he couldn't know that part of the reason for her tears now was the horrible idea of his leaving that had occurred to her.
"Remus," She started hoarsely, having not spoken since right when they'd arrived home the night before. "Please don't leave," She pleaded.
"What?" He asked blankly, tone incredulous as he pulled back to stare into her eyes.
"Please don't go, don't leave me." She said brokenly, knowing she was being a bit irrational, but she couldn't help it.

Mad-Eye was gone, and so much had happened and she couldn't bear the thought of it.
"What in the world makes you say that Dora?" He asked, bewildered.
"Yesterday...y-you had that same l-look in your eyes that you've had every time you've tried to...tried to..." She stopped for a moment to try and get control of herself.
Suddenly realizing how silly she must sound, she took a deep, shaky breath, "N-Never mi-"
"Dora," he reproached sternly, eyes wide in concern and confusion. "Tell me."

She nodded, his intense gaze breaking down her weak resolve.
"The same look you've had...every... t-time ...you've tried to tell...tell me goodbye." Her trembling voice broke on the word goodbye and her tears splashed down her face; she was powerless to stop them.
"Dora," He whispered, his face filled with remorse and sadness bordering on anguish which she could hardly understand.
He pulled her back into the circle of his arms, holding her tightly.
"I'm right here, it's alright. We're together, it's going to be okay." He said gently over and over as he held her while she cried.

She felt so vulnerable and helpless; hated to be so weak and emotional, but she just couldn't stop the tears. Between Mad-Eye's death and this new, cruel fear, she couldn't stop the sorrow that overcame her then. But despite Lupin's words of reassurance, she noticed that he had not said the one thing that would have been appropriate - what she really needed to hear...he had not said that he wouldn't leave her.
She managed to suppress the panic that tried its' darnedest to escape, but only just. She noticed that his breaths were rough, and she felt something wet sink into her hair. When she realized that it was his tears, another sob escaped and she burrowed as close as she could to him, sensing that he needed her right then as much as she needed him.
She cried harder all the same when his arms held her so tight she had a hard time drawing deep breaths.
But suddenly she didn't mind - suddenly she needed his arms like this around her to assure her that she still hadn't lost the one person she loved most of all.

---

Soooo...there you have it.:) I'm sorry this chapter was so sad though - I hated writing it:'(
Was it too angsty? Too emotional/pathetic?
Please forgive the rubbish fight scenes - this chapter was my first real go at those and well...I think I should stick to fluff! LOL!XD
A few notes on accuracy/content...

I have no idea if the Order flew or Apparated to Privet Drive to get Harry. Or if you can, in Harry's world, even Apparate on a broomstick, thestral, etc. If they flew, it seems like they would have run into the Death Eaters that were waiting for them, so I assume they Apparated, but I don't know. :)
The whole Tonks-being-pregnant thing almost made quit writing this, but I really want to see it through - but I apologize for the weirdness, I've obviously never had any experience with anything like that, so it's a bit odd to write. Sorry it's so...blah. :p Also, you may notice an inconsistent and somewhat poor attempt at British spelling. I will, at some point, likely go back through, edit, and update this document. But as I've been having a hard time finding time to update this, I thought I'd go ahead while I have the chance - especially since I have relatives coming in for a visit in two days. :)
Also, this chapter was written probably four months ago, so I'm sorry the writing in and of itself is not very good.
I hope y'all liked it anyways though! :D (and congrats, you just read a 50 page Word document. haha;))
Have a lovely day and May God bless you all! 3