Oh, can't you see the morning after
It's waiting right outside the storm
Why don't we cross the bridge together
And find a place that's safe and warm

Maureen McGovern - "The Morning After"

Road to Always Chapter 10

He didn't want to wake up... not yet. He slowly opened one eye - a beam of light peeking through the blinds he hurriedly shut sometime in the very early pre-dawn. Normally, Rick would have groaned at the early hour, but looking at who was in his arms caused a smile to transform his face. And really, he didn't even need to look. He felt her there - felt her presence.

Kate.

He still wasn't sure about what had happened last night. Honestly, they didn't get too much talking done in between other activities. It was what they needed. The culmination of 'not-talking' for four years, led to - well, more 'not-talking'.

He was truly thinking way too much this early, but it was all he could do to stop from waking her up. So many questions. The only sure thing was that she was sorry, and that an epiphany brought her back to him. He realized that she didn't clarify exactly what it was that she was apologizing for. So many things had happened in the last few weeks. Enough to make his head spin in the last few days alone - it could have been anything. He knew that there were things he should have - and maybe would have - apologized for, but he wondered if his actions had done it for him. He'd been saying he was sorry for so many things, for so long; she had to know. He wasn't going to try and make amends for asking her to step away; no.

They had woken up for a short time and got a little talking in. She managed to tell him that Ryan had saved both her and Espo, and it pretty much shredded the team. If it hadn't been for Ryan - no. She was fine; she was safe. She was his - for good it seemed.

This didn't mean that he didn't want to know exactly what happened yesterday. She was covered in cuts and bruises for God's sake. 'I almost died'. He didn't show it when he first heard it, but it shook him to the core. Even after all the times that they'd almost died before. He hadn't been there this time. He was completely out of the loop.

He vaguely wondered if he should be waking her up for work. Then again, maybe she'd taken the day off. Although that really didn't explain her abrupt appearance at his door last night. Whatever the case may be, he'd try his best to cajole her into staying for a hearty breakfast. Pancakes.

She was cuddled under his arm, head resting on his shoulder, looking more peaceful and beautiful than he'd ever seen her before. He swept her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. So long. He'd waited so long to do that. Rick took a risk, and gently leaned over to look at the time on his cell phone. After six. He thought that was about her normal time to wake up. Of course, this would be the first time he'd have a chance to get definite confirmation on that.

He watched as she stirred beside him. She blinked a couple of times before focusing on him and giving him the most adorable smile. "Mm. Hey.", she said in barely a whisper. It sounded delicious.

"Did I wake you?" Rick asked. "I was trying to check the time, I don't know when you need to be up." He brushed his lips against her hair as he spoke. He wanted to take every opportunity to touch her... kiss her.

"You didn't disturb me," Her smile faltered, if only for a second. "but I don't need to be up." She trailed her hand over his chest.

"Hmm, good.", he said in a husky, sleep-filled voice. "Did you take the day off?", he asked as he captured her hand and brought it to his mouth.

Kate lifted her head to look directly at him. "Umm. Kinda."

He chuckled. "Kinda?"

"Well, I kinda quit. I was suspended anyway... figured I'd just go all-in."

He was about to laugh at her joke when he realized that she was being serious - or rather that she was trying to make light of a serious situation. He shifted suddenly so that he could see her face more clearly. Seriously? "Seriously?"

"Mhmm."

"You quit? Just like that?", he asked her. His shock was suddenly replaced by horror. His eyes widened comically as he said, "Kate. That's not what I meant. I didn't mean you should quit the job. I just - I wanted you to back off this case."

"It's not a big deal."

"But - ", he spluttered, apparently at a loss for words.

"I didn't just quit because you told me to. Have I ever done anything just because someone told me to? Even if it is you?"

He was shocked that she didn't sound annoyed. Full of surprises - God, he loved her. "No - I. Definitely not.", he smiled. "But then, why did you?"

"Look, I fell back down that rabbit hole. You saw me - I was manic. Nothing could've stopped me, and I know how hard you tried." She laid her head back down on his chest. "At the very least, I need a break, and I wanted to be in control of that break."

"You were suspended anyway, though."

She rolled her eyes. Some things didn't change, much to his delight. There's the Kate he was used to. His Kate. He had to stop and take a deep breath.

"Yeah, Espo and I were both put on 'indefinite leave'. I decided to make it permanent." She sighed. "I just wish Ryan hadn't gotten caught in the crossfire. I told you that he saved us, but that meant he went behind our backs. He brought Gates in.

Rick took another deep breath and Kate saw the guilt etched through his face.

"What?"

"I think he tried to call me. Dammit. The one time I make a fist. If I'd just picked up…"

She shook her head. "It's better the way it actually happened. If you showed up - if you had been there like always, I'd just continue on the warpath. Or worse, you could have been hurt."

"Yeah, but there's that word again. Always. I meant it, you know, and then I turned my back on you. I had to - you weren't seeing me."

"That's what it took for me to finally see you. Not seeing you."

"Huh? It's early, Kate." His grin came back. "You're gonna have to spell it out for me. Talking in circles ain't gonna cut it."

She laughed softly. "You weren't there. I still heard you, you know. When I was hanging by my fingers, dangling off the roof." She saw his incredulous look. That was going to take a little explaining, but not now. "I heard you. Ryan and the team were hurrying to get to me, but I heard you. I meant it yesterday, all I could think about was you."

"You know, at some point you're going to tell me exactly what happened yesterday. Alexis' graduation speech was amazing, but I have the feeling your day was a bit more exciting."

She huffed. "Exciting."

"Ah. I mean - eventful? Adrenaline-packed?"

"You sure you make your money writing?", she asked, looking amused.

"Ha... and might I add... ha."

"Verbosity doesn't equal eloquence." She flaunted her large vocabulary in the face of his groggy ineptitude. "I'll fill you in."

"Why, dete - uh - I mean, Ms. Beckett.", he stumbled, but corrected himself quickly before smirking and going on. "That would be my job. And I think I did it rather well, if I do say so myself." He wiggled his eyebrows and earned a smack on the chest. "Hey - ow! I thought we were past the ear pulling and chest pummelling."

"At least supply me with coffee if you're going to subject me to that."

She was narrowing her eyes but he could tell that she was amused.

"I was thinking that I should take Espo's advice and make you pancakes." When she gave him a bemused look, he added, "That morning before your apartment went 'boom' - he saw I was making you pancakes. He implied that it was the quintessential 'morning after' breakfast. A way to say 'thank you for last night'."

She laughed, louder this time. "Well, at least we earned it this time. Coffee too though, Writer-boy."

"Boy? Boy?", he huffed.

"Hey, be happy it's not 'Cabana-boy'."

He shuddered. "Okay, I'll be any kind of boy you want, as long as I'm yours."

She laughed again. "Getting sappy, are we?"

If it got her to laugh like that - oh, how beautiful she looked - he'd happily be a sap. "Lots of time to make up for.", he said with a sheepish smile. "Besides, you know I'm way girlier than you are with this relationship stuff. Someone has to be sappy."

"Oh. Thanks for stepping up, Castle."

"Well, you definitely took the lead last night. I'd call that stepping up too."

"You did it for real though, Rick. You jerked me out of that well I'd fallen into and showed me what mattered. Us. We matter. You matter.

"Now who's the sap?", he said with a smile, but added before she could answer, "Me. I volunteer. Besides, I gotta go make you breakfast. No time to argue over who wears the pants here."

He got out of the bed, showing her that he didn't. "Hurry up, I'm hungry." She watched as he threw a lustful look over his shoulder. "Double entendre intended."

"I got that." He pulled on a pair of lounge pants covered in superman symbols. "But I think if we're going there again, food is in order."

"I'd say. I'm going to have a quick shower, and then I'll join you in a bit?"

"'Kay." He walked through the bedroom doorway towards the kitchen. "Grab whatever you need from my closet. There's all kinds of stuff in there I wouldn't mind seeing you in."

Kate could almost picture the glint in his eye as he started to whistle. She might like this whole life of leisure thing after all.

XxX

...time is on your side
Is on your side; It's on your side now
Not pushing you down, and all around
No it's no cause for concern

You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose
You came along and you cut me loose

Coldplay - "Amsterdam"

XxX

After her shower, which lasted for longer than 'a bit' thanks to his luxurious bathroom, she pulled one of his t-shirts over her head. It was definitely too big for her, but she was too comfortable to care. She grabbed a pair of boxers out of a drawer and tugged them up her legs. Her clothes were a mess - she'd been out in the rain so long they were probably beyond ruined. The shirt and boxers would have to do for now.

She walked into the kitchen with a smile on her face - not just put there from the heavenly smell of breakfast that Rick had so lovingly cooked up, but because of the man himself.

He took a cake pan out of the oven. It was covered in a damp tea towel, and when he pulled it off, there was a stack of pancakes underneath. Steamy and fresh. How could he be so thoughtful and yet so irritating. Irritating in a good way, of course. He smiled at her as he arranged a stack on a plate. It was already garnished with some fresh fruit. He pushed the plate towards her, and then slid some syrup and butter across the counter.

She crossed over to him and got up on her toes to give him a kiss. "Hey", she said softly.

"Hey", he replied, matching her tone.

He made a plate for himself, then snaked the syrup from her and drenched his breakfast until the pancakes were soaked.

"Pancakes with your syrup, sir?"

"Hey, I'm just doing you a favor."

"How is drenching your pancakes doing me a favor?"

He took a bite and after he'd finished, he leaned over to kiss her. "Sweet kisses."

Kate groaned. "Wow. That's reaching a little, even for you."

"Can't help it." He was speaking while chewing this time. "I told you, I can't be all manly with you yet. Still new."

"You were plenty manly last night, Castle." She winked and put a mug of steaming coffee up to her lips.

He gave her his special Castle - lopsided grin that she secretly loved. "I'm glad you think so."

"Finish your breakfast. You're gonna need it."

He growled and started attacking his plate like he was on a mission. "I like how you think, Beckett. Have I ever told you that before?"

"Not in so many words. Now shut up and eat."

Rick continued eating, but kept his eyes on his girlfriend... wow. Yeah, his girlfriend. That's new. And though, technically, she was his 'girlfriend', in his mind she was so much more already. She was his partner, the love of his life. His better half. And oh - he just knocked the wind out of himself.

As if reading his mind, she said - almost inaudibly, "And Rick, I love you too."

No. Nope. He was wrong. She just knocked the wind out of him. In the best possible way. Really, he didn't need to even breathe right now. She wasn't just 'more', she was everything. He walked around the counter, breakfast momentarily forgotten, and let his lips do the talking for him. He poured all his love into the kiss.

He was right. The kiss was sweet - but it hardly had anything to do with the syrup. She made soft noises against his mouth. He didn't take the opportunity to turn it into something more - which was very nice. She didn't need more right then, she just needed him.

They were both breathless when he pulled away, smiling.

"Oh - uh. I meant to ask earlier, when is Alexis getting home?"

"She should be back sometime after noon." He walked back to his plate, and continued his assault. "We're planning to have lunch together when she gets home."

"Uhm", she went on somewhat awkwardly, "Should I - uh - I'll leave you guys to it. We'll catch up later?"

"Kate, no running. Let's see what Alexis wants to do. I'd stay with you all day if I could, but if she doesn't mind, maybe we can do something together."

"I don't want to get between you and your daughter."

"You're not in the way. You're a part of my life." He set down his fork, plate clean except for a puddle of extra syrup. "She and I - and mother too, sometimes - we're a package deal. We all might as well start getting used to it. That is... I don't want to assume anything - we're going to get used to this, right?"

She wasn't sure about how everything would fall into place. Obviously it wouldn't happen overnight, it was going to take time and effort on all their parts. But she was sure of him - them. "Right.", she said with certainty and a smile. "This is definitely something I want to 'get used to'."

"Good. 'Cause I'm never going to let you go, Kate Beckett. Afraid you're stuck with me." He was leaning on the counter now, elbow bent, chin resting on his hand. "In fact, maybe I should shoot her a text. I won't give her details if you don't want me to, but I can at least prepare her - let her know you're here."

She nodded. He went through the first part so fast that she didn't have the chance to argue. She didn't need the chance to argue. "Sure. You know better than I do. Whatever you think."

"You do remember all the times I've asked you for advice, right? I'm just as lost as you are."

She gave him a baleful look.

"Okay, not quite as lost as you are. But this is new for me too. She knows how much you mean to me."

"Speaking of being lost, I can't believe you're the one who still has a job." Kate smiled, only half-joking. "Who would've guessed you'd be the responsible one between the two of us."

"Kate, I really can't look at your decision as irresponsible. Not when it's keeping you alive." Although he still looked happy enough, he sobered enough that she knew he was being serious.

"I could have just quit the case. I didn't have to quit the job"

"Are you having second thoughts?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I guess it would be wrong not to. It's been my whole life."

He nodded.

"But I don't want to think about it yet. This is where I want to be - just... now. Here. With you. I'm happy."

He smiled sadly. "Those things aren't mutually exclusive. That being said, I'll support you - whatever you decide. I've got your back."

She smiled - really smiled. "Always?"

"Damn straight." He gave her a devilish grin back. "Besides, I'm stinkin' filthy rich. You've got plenty of time to think about the future."

She frowned. It was the first time all day, and he didn't like it one bit.

"Okay, I get it." He wanted the sad look to go away. "How about - yeah. Always."

"It's not that I'm not grateful. I know you'd be happy to - ", she sighed.

"You don't need my money. I know that, Kate."

"It has nothing to do with your money, or my job, or anything else. I did this because all I want to think about is you. It's all I can think about. And it's enough for me, right now. Maybe even always."

"I'm kinda familiar with that feeling." He smiled.

Again, it reminded her of how long he'd waited, how thoughtful he was and - so many things. He's a good man. The right man. Her man. "Thank you, Rick."

"You don't need to thank me. Wait... what are you thanking me for exactly?"

"I do. I want to. Thank you for waiting for me; for not giving up."

"Didn't have much of a choice. You're it for me." he said seriously, and then added in a very Castle-esque manner, "No take-backs."

She laughed.

"Finish your pancakes, I'll go grab my phone and shoot Alexis a note. I'll leave things in her hands."

"Take a shower while you're at it."

"You saying I stink? Dude, that's just wrong.", he said as he playfully started towards her.

"I'm saying it's either that, or next time you start eating with a bib. You have maple syrup down the front of your shirt. Hey, when did I say you could put on a shirt?"

He barked out a laugh. "I need your permission to wear clothes?"

"Eh, wear 'em, don't wear 'em... all the same to me. I'm a little partial to your leather sports coat though... hottie."

"That's good to know, babe."

She glared at him. Bristling at the pet name. "Babe?"

"You started it.", he said with a shrug.

"Maybe I'll stop giving you compliments then."

"No babe. Gotcha. I'm gonna go take that shower now."

As he walked by her, he caught her in an embrace - kissing her quickly before continuing towards his office. She couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped from her mouth.

"I heard that."

"Mhmm." She replied lazily.

"Hey Beckett.", he said, popping his head back through the office doorway.

"Yes, Castle?"

"I love you.", he said softly. Then he scurried away, before she could answer.

But she did anyway, just as softly. "Love you too."

XxX

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

Aqualung - "Brighter Than Sunshine"

XxX

A/N: Before Doc starts in, I already know it's been almost a month since the last chapter. I take all the blame. Real life sucks.

Docnerd89: Noooo. Well. It does. But my real life takes part of the blame too. Also, I don't know about you, but I was slightly, happily paralyzed by that last episode.. What was it called again?

Hrm. I don't remember... oh yeah... AL - amazingly awesome - WAYS.

Docnerd89: I still pinch myself.

I KNOW, RIGHT? I'm so glad I (and most of the fandom) got the hints from Aus about the blind item.

Docnerd89: *snorts* His silence spoke more than his words. But nevermind that. Yaaay!

I wish I could say I had advance knowledge, but even though NBC gives me previews of Parks & Rec... silly Disney won't let me in on the seekrits.

Docnerd89: Ah well. It was a good surprise. Perfect timing, IMO.

Definit-mon. I was more than happy. Can't wait to see the 'real' morning after in the fall.

Docnerd89: *squees* .. Like you reiterated throughout the doc, we're such girls.

Hey, you're gonna let them in on our behind the scenes convos?

Docnerd89: I don't think they could handle it. I can barely handle it. ;)

I'm a bit of a horn-dog for Nathan. I apologize. (I REGRET NOTHING!)

Docnerd89: LMAO. Uhuh. I wouldn't have you any other way :)

*blush* d'awww same here. *wubs* I really like this chapter. Hope our readers do too - even though it's embarrassingly late.

Docnerd89: Heya sweet, sweet, uhm... sweet (can you tell I don't do this for a living?) readers, tell us what you think... And thank you sooo much for sticking with us.

Yeah, those *wubs* go out to you guys too. Next update will be in less than a month (hopefully). So... we'll talk to you soonish