Disclaimer: Do I really need to say this every chapter? I don't own these characters.
AN: Thanks for the reviews/alerts/faves guys, much appreciated as always. Two chapters in one week? I spoil you guys ;)
Barricade
Chapter 10: Words
"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love"
The apartment was beginning to look a little weird to Shizuru, what with all her things slowly being packed away and all. With every item she placed in to a box the rooms became less personalised and the apartment was gradually starting to look as it had when she had first moved in; empty and uninviting.
All the furniture in the apartment belonged to the school so she didn't need to worry about shifting them, the appliances however were hers and she wasn't entirely sure what she was going to do with them. She needed to decide which of them she would be taking with her.
For example, the tall lamp in the living room. She highly doubted that she would need it in her new apartment, but she was rather fond of it and was a little worried that it wouldn't make it back to Kyoto in one piece. And what about her telephone? She certainly wouldn't need it but she didn't particularly just want to throw it out either. She didn't even know what appliances would be in the new apartment so she wasn't sure if she would need any of the things from her kitchen.
The only things she knew for sure that she would be taking with her were her TV, alarm clock and bedside lamp. She had already boxed up the lamp and she wouldn't be moving her TV or alarm clock until Friday when she actually moved out.
Luckily she had enlisted Reito's help; he had recently passed his driving test and had said that he would be able to borrow his parents' car to help her out(1). She wasn't sure how else she would have gotten her things over to the complex otherwise. She wasn't particularly fond of the idea of hiring a van and/or a bunch of removal men.
With a small sigh she fell down on to her bed in a very un-Kaichou like manner. She really just wanted to get the move over with. She'd spent the last two hours packing away the various things in her bedroom and she still had to sort out her wardrobe.
She glanced over at the clock beside the bed and noted that she had roughly another 2 hours before Natsuki would finish her classes. Which should have been a decent amount of time for her to finish boxing things up, but...she tended to get distracted when doing this sort of thing since she would usually come across something she hadn't seen for quite some time.
Earlier on she'd found a couple of her old diaries and had sat reading them for a while, chuckling to herself at some of the things she had written. There were a lot of entries that just detailed what Natsuki had been wearing on that particular day...or if the blunette had said something particularly humorous...or how she had teased the younger girl.
Of course, there were also some less amusing entries that dealt with her thoughts and feelings regarding her unrequited love. It had been somewhat strange to read through those little snippets of thoughts with how things had changed just recently. It was probably only because of how things had changed that she had been able to read those entries at all. Had she still been feeling that way now she doubted that she would be anything but depressed after reading her diary.
She had purposely stopped reading when the dates started to near the beginning of the Carnival, knowing full well that she was nowhere near ready to delve back in to that frame of mind and deal with the consequences. She would need to face those fears at some point, but the memories where still too raw for her to even attempt it right now.
With another sigh she pushed herself up and off the comfortable double bed and headed for her wardrobe, it wasn't going to empty itself and she supposed that she should at least make a start on it. She made good progress over the next 45 minutes, leaving just enough outfits to take her through to Friday and packing the others away.
She couldn't help the fond smile that spread across her face as she neatly folded her old school uniform. It hadn't even been two weeks since she'd last worn it but it still felt nostalgic. She didn't need to keep it but...she decided to anyway...it might come in handy for something right? She wondered if she'd be able to persuade Natsuki to wear it for her sometime... Natsuki Kaichou...
Pushing away the naughty thoughts that invaded her mind, she placed the uniform in to a box and proceeded to tape it shut and write 'clothes' on the top using a black marker. The wardrobe looked strange with only 3 outfits in it, but that also drew attention to the objects she had stored in the bottom.
Kneeling down in front of the wooden furniture she pulled a familiar looking box towards her and on to her lap. The box itself had once contained a pair of shoes but now held a jumble of photographs and other miscellaneous items that she had thought it worth keeping at some point or another.
Amongst the seemingly random objects there was a plane ticket, from the first time she had come to Fuuka from Kyoto, various letters from her parents over the years, a small pendant that had belonged to her grandmother, a smooth pebble that had she had brought with her from her favourite garden in Kyoto and small scrap of paper that read;
'Do you think Suzushiro-san will stop yelling any time soon? I would very much like some more tea and to continue our talk about the new red head ;)'
The note had been from Reito and had been subtly written and passed to her during one of Haruka's unbearably long rants about the lack of student discipline. The dark haired boy had certainly been helpful when she thought she might fall asleep during council meetings. The 'red head' Reito had mentioned had in fact been Mai, so it was somewhat humorous looking back now.
She had placed the note in her jacket pocket to hide it from Haruka's suspicious gaze and had found it later that day when she got home. She didn't know why she felt the need to keep it, but it always brought an amused smile to her face when she read it.
She turned her attention back to the box and ran her fingers over the smooth material of a blue ribbon before lifting the strip of fabric from the container and smiling lightly. The ribbon had the Kanji for Natsuki's name written on it in her elegant script. She had prepared it for the festival while in her second year of high school but hadn't had the courage to actually tie it to the railing in the crystal shrine.
She had found the courage during her final year though and couldn't help but chuckle at how things had turned out. She'd never really believed in the silly tradition but at that time she had been so desperate that she gave it a shot. Perhaps she should have had more faith in it from the start.
After placing the ribbon back in the box, she lifted out the pile of photographs. Most of them were of her parents and/or herself when she was younger. She'd brought them with her when she first moved to Fuuka to fend off the homesickness.
She flicked through the photos with a small smile and made a mental note to visit the elder Fujino's at some point in the near future. Amongst the pictures of her parents there was a strip of photographs that had been taken in one of those booths you usually found in amusement arcades and such like. Her smile grew as she took in each of the four pictures on the strip, easily recalling the memory of having them taken.
The first picture showed herself, smiling and looking at the camera, a scowling Natsuki by her side, who was pointedly looking away from the camera. The second showed Natsuki clearly trying to leave the booth while Shizuru tried to keep her there. In the third Natsuki had returned to her seat but was still scowling, with the pleasant addition of a blush, while Shizuru was grinning widely, probably in response to whatever she had just said to the younger girl.
The last picture was the best one though. Both girls were smiling and looking at the camera, and although Natsuki was blushing even further in this one, she had allowed Shizuru to rest an arm around her shoulder. It was incredibly cute and Shizuru laughed lightly at the memory. It had taken her a good half hour to even get Natsuki to enter the booth and several more minutes to convince her that she wouldn't show anybody the pictures they took.
She had kept her promise; nobody else had seen the strip of photos. Natsuki had gotten her own copy of course, though she had said that she was going to throw them away when she got home. Shizuru wondered if the younger girl had thrown them away, or whether she had secretly kept them. She then realised with a frown, that even if Natsuki had kept them, they would most likely have been destroyed when Nao obliterated her apartment.
Then she wondered if perhaps she would be able to persuade the blunette to let them take some new ones. She didn't think it would be as difficult as it had been back then, but she did acknowledge that it still wouldn't be all that easier either. Natsuki certainly wasn't a fan of having her picture taken. But, she was sure she would be able to bring the girl round to the idea.
She continued to stare at the strip of photographs, taking in their slightly younger looking faces, their smiles, the way Natsuki was quite clearly uncomfortably with the whole thing... it was almost sad to think back to those days.
She had been so madly in love with the younger girl and Natsuki hadn't even suspected a thing. To the bikers defence though, Shizuru wasn't exactly known for giving away how she really felt about anything, unless she really had too. And even then the chances of her being completely honest and open were slim to none.
She had always kept her emotions under tight wraps, but she had tried extra hard to make sure that Natsuki never found out about her feelings. She hadn't ever wanted the younger girl to find out, she'd been scared that the girl would be disgusted and never want to see her again. Because, for all the charm and confidence she was known for, underneath it all she was just an average teenage girl who was deeply in love with her best friend.
Her intense feelings for the young blunette had been overwhelming at times though and she had learnt to deal with that through well placed teases that allowed her to show her affection but also keep the blunette in the dark about her true motives. It had become increasingly difficult to make do with the odd tease though, and she had been struggling to keep her emotions hidden well enough behind her mask.
The Carnival had shattered her mask completely and her love for Natsuki had driven her to the edge. Love was well known to make people crazy at the best of times, and the Carnival had been anything but 'the best'.
She shook her head slightly to try and clear her mind of such thoughts; she really didn't want to go there, not today. She quickly placed all the photographs in the box and then slid it back in to the confines of her wardrobe. She would pack it later, right now, she wanted to sit down in front of the television and watch a sappy TV drama with a nice cup of tea while she waited for Natsuki to arrive. She couldn't wait to wrap her arms around the girl.
Natsuki yawned as she rounded the corner and rubbed the back of her neck tiredly. Extra classes were hell. How was she realistically supposed to learn a year's worth of stuff in two weeks? It was completely ridiculous. But, it did make her rather determined to not let this happen again next year. Like hell she was going to skip classes if this was the punishment.
As she neared Shizuru's apartment she started to feel nervous. Her jaw had indeed bruised and she knew that the older girl would probably notice it right away. Luckily it didn't look too bad, just a bit yellow instead of the purple she'd been dreading. She had debated trying to cover it up somehow but had soon given up on the idea. Wearing something with abnormally large collars that covered her jaw would probably just draw attention to it and she certainly wasn't going to wear makeup.
Climbing up the stairs to Shizuru's apartment seemed to take longer than usual, probably because she was tired and her legs complained about the exercise. When she did eventually reach Shizuru's door she took a deep breath in preparation and then knocked in her usual manner. She'd text the older girl a few minutes earlier to say that she was almost there so she knew the girl would be expecting her.
She smiled sheepishly when Shizuru opened the door, feeling awkward as she waited for the girl to notice her jaw. She wasn't sure whether to feel relieved or not when the Kyoto born didn't seem to spot it; she kind of wanted to get it over with.
"How was your day?" Shizuru smiled softly while moving to the side to let the blunette enter the apartment.
"Boring" Was the bland response as Natsuki kicked off her shoes and made her way further in to the almost empty apartment, taking note of the boxes piled up in the corner. There seemed to be more there now and she assumed that Shizuru had been packing away the things from her bedroom. She walked to the small table in the living room, to the left of the couch, and dropped her bag on to it. It was a relief to not have the weight of those textbooks on her shoulder anymore. She then shrugged off her school jacket and hung it on the back of the nearest chair.
Shizuru watched as the younger girl rolled her shoulders slightly, obviously trying to ease the tension there, before moving forward and wrapping her arms around the girl's body from behind. She felt Natsuki stiffen in the embrace slightly but she soon relaxed. Shizuru rested her forehead on Natsuki's back and inhaled deeply, her nostrils filling with the scent of the biker.
Natsuki felt like something was off with the older girl. She wasn't sure why, Shizuru had certainly given her a decent amount of hugs like this one, but for some reason it felt different. Like Shizuru was doing it purely for her own comfort. Unsure what to do she just stood there for a moment.
She heard the older girl exhale deeply and the arms around her waist loosen their hold. Before they could completely retreat though she placed her own across them, holding them in place as she spoke,
"Shizuru, is something wrong?" Her voice was quiet and had she been speaking to anyone other than Shizuru she would have been embarrassed by how soft it was too. The older girl's arms tightened their hold around her waist again and she felt the girl's breath on the side of face as the Kyoto born's chin rested on her shoulder,
"Why would Natsuki think that?" Her voice was barely above a whisper but she sounded like her normal self and Natsuki wondered if she was just reading in to things too much as usual. She wasn't sure how to answer the girls question either, she just sort of...had a feeling that something was bothering Shizuru, but she wasn't sure how to explain it.
As if sensing that no answer would be forthcoming, Shizuru pulled out of the embrace and the blunette let her go this time. If she had turned around a second quicker she would have seen the worry and insecurity swirling in those deep crimson eyes, as it was, she was a bit too slow and the emotion was hidden by a mask of amusement.
"So, is Natsuki ready for her English lesson?" The biker groaned, forgetting all about the weird feeling she'd had in favour of complaining about the language she did not want to learn,
"Why do we even have to learn it anyway? It's not like I'm planning to ever use it" She grumbled while pulling out her text book and note pad.
"English is a very good language to learn. Especially if you plan to work in a business environment" Shizuru knew just how important her own language skills would be once she started to get involved with her parents company.
It wasn't uncommon for her father to take part in meetings where the majority of people in the room spoke different languages, and it was only because they all spoke at least a decent amount of English that they could understand each other. Understanding was particularly important when you were discussing business matters after all.
"I'm not planning to work in a business environment, why would I want to sit in a stuffy office all day in front of a computer or be forced to go to meetings that I would have trouble staying awake for?" Natsuki continued to grumble,
"Well it never hurts to be prepared does it?" She smiled as Natsuki finally sat down with a sigh at the table. Deciding that she would need some tea before they got started Shizuru informed the younger girl where she was going and then moved to the kitchen to brew some of her favourite beverage.
Natsuki propped her head up with her hand and drummed her pen against the note pad in front of her. Her eyes scanned the various work sheets laid out across the table and her eyebrow twitched in mild annoyance. How did they honestly expect her to complete all this homework for tomorrow? It was completely unreasonable!
"Would you like some tea Natsuki?" Shizuru's voice questioned from the kitchen and Natsuki shook her head absently before realising that the other girl couldn't see it and speaking up,
"No, I'm good thanks" She wasn't really fond of the bitter beverage that her girlfriend loved so much.
"Would you like anything else to drink?" She quickly thought about the question and decided that yes, she was a little thirsty,
"Um, just some water or something" Shizuru soon returned to the table with a glass of water and her own cup of tea, which she placed on the table after taking a couple of sips. Since Natsuki had taken a seat with her back to the couch she took the one at the end of the table, to the girl's right. She would have preferred to sit directly next to the biker but she realised that the younger girl would need the space for all the bits of paper and what not. Once she was comfortable she asked,
"What does Natsuki have to do for her homework then?" Apparently Shizuru was going to go about this in a very methodical and straight forward manner. Natsuki picked out one of the sheets of paper and glanced over it with a frown,
"Well, for this one I have to write a paragraph about myself in English..." she picked up another sheet "This one says that I have to answer the questions in English...and the questions themselves change to English half way through so I have no idea what they're even asking" The blunette continued to riffle through the bits of paper, getting more frustrated as she did so, which Shizuru found quite amusing to watch.
"How am I meant to explain what the story is about when I don't even understand the language?" Natsuki scowled and gave Shizuru a pleading look, she could tell that the older girl was laughing at her in her head and it only caused her scowl to deepen,
"Are you going to help me or not?" She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest in annoyance. Shizuru chuckled lightly in to her tea cup before placing it back on the table and picking up the nearest sheet of paper,
"Of course, I said that Natsuki only needed to ask did I not?" She glanced at the piece of paper in her hands and noted, with amusement, that it was the one she'd been hoping for,
"Well I thought that being here with all this stuff would be enough of a clue" Natsuki grumbled, with her arms still folded in front of her. She did pick up on the hint of mischief swirling in those crimson eyes though and narrowed her own in response "What?"
"Nothing. Now, for this one you have to write about yourself. So why don't you start by writing it out in Japanese first and then at least you have something to work off" That made sense she supposed, so with a slight nod, she turned to her note pad and pressed her pen to the page as if to write...only she wasn't sure what to write.
She had to write about herself...but did that mean what she looked like? What she did in her spare time? What kind of person she was?
Shizuru watched as the younger girl alternated between twirling the pen in her fingers and pressing it to the paper. Her amusement slowly started to grow as this continued and she wondered how long it would take for Natsuki to give up and ask her for her input. To her credit Natsuki did manage to last quite a while, but with a resigned sigh she eventually turned her attention to the older girl, who was smiling expectantly at her,
"Um...what am I supposed to write?" She asked with a slightly sheepish expression,
"Something about Natsuki"
"Y-yeah...but what?" Shizuru looked away for a moment and brought her finger up to her chin as she struck her 'thinking pose'. After a minute she looked back at the girl with a small smile,
"I suppose you could write about things that you enjoy doing" Natsuki seemed to think about this for a second and then nodded. Shizuru watched as the girl actually started to write, predictably about her bike and Xbox. All too soon though Natsuki was back to drumming her pen against the piece of paper and Shizuru smiled,
"Is everything alright Natsuki?" To her amusement the biker looked at her with a slight blush,
"Y-yeah I just... I don't know what else to write" She rubbed the back of her neck "It's meant to be a paragraph but I've only got two sentences" She elaborated, hoping that Shizuru would be able to help her out.
"Well, what have you written down?" Shizuru was trying to stop herself from grinning; she'd known that this would happen,
"Riding my bike and playing my Xbox" Natsuki couldn't believe that her life was so boring that she only had two things written down. She was a bad ass biker chick but she only had two 'hobbies'? What the hell kind of self respecting delinquent was so boring?
"Oh, well I can think of a few other things that Natsuki likes" The second the words left Shizuru's lips Natsuki tensed...she had walked right in to this one hadn't she? God damn it! "For example, she likes mayonnaise does she not?" Natsuki knew better than to feel safe by Shizuru's first suggestion, she knew that more would be coming...
"And she enjoys collecting lingerie"
"Shizuru" She warned the girl as a light blush rose to her cheeks,
"And she likes to wear the occasional dress" The older girl continued regardless, counting things off on her fingers as she said them.
"Shi-zu-ru"
"Oh, and she enjoys kissing her girlfriend no?" As her face flushed further she glowered at the older girl,
"Shizuru! I can't write any of those things in my homework!"
"Ara, why not? Does Natsuki not like kissing me?" And now she was pouting. Damn it again! Not only was Shizuru teasing her here she was actually waiting for an answer! "Ikezu" Shizuru sniffed, knowing that she had the younger girl exactly where she wanted her.
"Damn it Shizuru! Yes, I do. Now can we please get back to my homework?"
"You do what?"
"What?" Natsuki barked, now blushing bright red. She seriously just wanted to focus on her work before her head exploded or she overheated, both were beginning to feel like probable possibilities.
"Natsuki said 'yes, I do'. What did she mean by that?" The blunette growled at her girlfriend's infuriating behaviour,
"You know damn well what I meant!" Shizuru was struggling to keep going with this tease in all honesty, she used to tease Natsuki to the point where she worried for the girl's health on a regular basis, but she hadn't really done so recently. Which was probably why the poor girl was having such a strong reaction to her words and also why she felt a bit guilty...not guilty enough to stop mind,
"Why is Natsuki shouting at me?" She added a pang of sadness to her voice and sniffed again. When she heard Natsuki sigh she could smell victory.
"I-I didn't mean to"
"Natsuki ikezu" She dipped her head for added effect, knowing that her bangs would cover the amusement in her eyes,
"I'm sorry. I meant that I... I like k-kissing you alright?" For some reason, Shizuru wasn't really bothered about her supposed 'victory' anymore...instead she found that all this talk of kissing made her want to actually kiss the biker. This was impossible from her current position though and with all the teasing she'd just done she doubted that the younger girl would react very well anyway.
Natsuki studied what she could see of Shizuru's face as she waited for the girl to respond, she had expected the Kyoto born to say something to finish her tease by now. Yes, she had realised that the older girl was teasing her, but there was something about the way Shizuru pretended to be upset that tugged at her heart. She supposed it went back to her thoughts about Shizuru using her teases as a way to both tell her and hide from her what she was really thinking/feeling.
When the older girl's lack of response began to make her nervous she quickly stood up, making Shizuru jump at the suddenness of the movement. She didn't explain her actions though, at least not in words. Instead she moved quickly around the table, one hand supported her weight on the table top while the other reached out and used the older girls chin to turn her face. With a quick look in to clearly shocked crimson eyes she leant down and pressed her lips to Shizuru's.
The second that Shizuru realised that Natsuki was kissing her she melted in to it, turning her body to face the younger girl so that her neck was at a less awkward angle. As she returned the kiss she felt Natsuki's hand move from her chin to her cheek and then to the back of her head, holding her in place. She opened her mouth to give Natsuki's probing tongue access and suppressed a moan as it swirled around her own.
Maybe it was having the blunette looming over her, or the way that the younger girl was clearly the one controlling their kiss, but Shizuru felt her mind haze over and her body heat up much more quickly than she was used to. It was certainly very different, having Natsuki be the dominant one, though it was most definitely a nice experience. Unfortunately it ended much sooner than she would have liked and Natsuki pulled away, her intense emerald eyes boaring in to her own as if searching for something.
Shizuru released a shaky breath and then smiled softly, bringing her hand up to cup the girl's flushed cheek as she spoke,
"Ookini Na-tsu-ki" Her thanks seemed to settle the intense look in the blunette's eyes and it was only then that Shizuru remembered how that kiss had come about in the first place. Yes, helping Natsuki with her homework had been a good idea.
She continued to smile at the younger girl as she stood back up to her full height, her cheeks still flushed a deep red. The smile soon fell off Shizuru's face though when she noticed the discolouration on the girls jaw. She hadn't been able to see it before due to the way they were sat, or perhaps it was because the blush on Natsuki's face made the bruise stand out more. Either way, she had seen it, and she felt a flash of anger roll through her.
"Natsuki?" The blunette furrowed her brows in confusion at her girlfriend's sudden change in mood. The smile was now gone and those crimson eyes no longer looked content and happy...more angry and intimidating. She realised with a start that the older girl must have spotted the bruising on the side of her face, something that she herself had forgotten about 'Shit'
"Y-yeah?" The nervousness she was feeling was evident in her voice as Shizuru stood up in front of her and she had to fight the urge to back away,
"Who did that to you?" She already had a good idea who had marred the blunette's beautiful skin, but she needed to be sure. Natsuki swallowed at the serious tone in Shizuru's voice,
"Um, it's fine. It doesn't hurt or anything so..."
"Natsuki, that isn't what I asked. Please tell me" There was something innately scary about Shizuru right now, and although Natsuki knew that the Kyoto born would never hurt her she couldn't help but feel threatened. She swallowed and thought through her options.
The blunette considered just ratting Nao out, she would much rather the stupid red head have to deal with the consequences of their fight than her. But, because this was Nao, she couldn't do that. Shizuru and Nao didn't exactly have positive emotions regarding each other and she'd be damned if she made that worse. Besides, the fight was technically her fault, she had provoked Nao after all.
Still, she couldn't very well lie to Shizuru. Firstly, she was pretty sure that the Kyoto born already knew who had caused the bruising and secondly, she knew that Shizuru would see through any lie she tried to concoct anyway.
Apparently Shizuru took her silence to mean that she wasn't going to answer at all and moved forward. This time Natsuki did back away, almost tripping over her chair as she edged around the table.
"Um..." Shizuru's intense gaze did not leave hers and no matter how much she wanted to look away she couldn't. Those crimson eyes bore in to her, the powerful swirl of dangerous emotions behind them making the bikers heart stammer in her chest. There was certainly something very scary about being on the receiving end of Shizuru's stare.
"Natsuki, tell me who hurt you" Shizuru's voice had now turned almost dangerous and Natsuki swallowed hard. There had to be a way to sort this out that didn't involve Nao getting seriously injured.
"A-alright, just...promise me you won't try to do anything?" She was still stepping backwards, and Shizuru was still following her "Shizuru?" She questioned when the Kyoto born didn't reply. Her heart beat was beginning to pick up pace as the look in Shizuru's eyes seemed to increase in intensity. She seriously hated Nao in that moment.
She noticed the older girl's eyes briefly flick over her shoulder before returning to her face, a small smile forming on her lips. Before she could even begin to wonder what the girl was smiling about her back met something solid and Shizuru's arms were placed on either side of her body, effectively trapping her.
Maybe walking backwards hadn't been such a good idea, since she had somehow ended up walking straight in to the small segment of wall that jutted out from the doorway, separating the kitchen from the rest of the room slightly. She laughed nervously as Shizuru continued to stare at her.
It took her two more seconds to decide that Nao could very well deal with the shit she had gotten herself in to,
"I-it was Yuuki" The second Shizuru heard the red heads name she was overwhelmed, but not by the anger she had been expecting. Her thoughts quickly reminded her that she thought Nao was a threat and her possessive nature reared its head. She felt an overpowering need to make Natsuki understand who she belonged to. Of course, her preferred method was to take the girl's lips in to a passionate and powerful kiss.
Natsuki had no idea what was going on, but the second she felt the velvety warmth of Shizuru tongue forcing its way in to her mouth she really couldn't care less. She tried to return the kiss as much as she could but it was more than clear who was dominating it. See could feel the torrent of emotions pouring out of the older girl and the intensity of it all made her legs feel weak.
She tried to ground herself by placing her hands on the girl's shoulders but as soon as she did Shizuru's own hands started to move too. The Kyoto born let her left hand rest on Natsuki's hip while the other trailed up the girl's stomach, between her breasts and across her collarbone before coming to a rest on her neck, holding her in place. Meanwhile the thumb of her left hand found its way under Natsuki's top and started drawing circles on the heated skin beneath, just above the hem of girl's skirt.
Natsuki shivered at the sensation and tightened her grip on Shizuru's shoulders. This was insane, she'd never felt anything like this before. Yes they had done a bit of this the other day on the couch but it hadn't been this intense. Part of her mind told her that something might be wrong with Shizuru for her to suddenly be acting this way, but the thought was soon pushed away by the sound of a low moan from the older girl.
Her heartbeat roared in her ears and her lungs burned from lack of oxygen, but before this became an actual issue Shizuru abandoned her mouth and moved elsewhere.
Natsuki didn't get the chance to regain her breath, as Shizuru soon found the sensitive skin of her neck and began to suck, lick and nip at her pulse point, pulling a gasp from the younger girl's throat. Natsuki tried desperately to steady her irregular breathing, she was beginning to feel a little light headed and she was sure that her legs were about to give out.
Shizuru was aware of this but did not stop her ministrations; in fact, she started to move her right hand again. She glided it over the younger girl's side, wishing that the cursed material of her hooded top wasn't in the way. She ignored that thought for the moment though and merely added a little more pressure to her touch, brushing her finger tips upwards until she reached the swell of Natsuki's left breast. Instead of hesitating as she had the other day, she instantly moved to cup the mound in her hand.
Natsuki gasped loudly at the touch, her heart stuttering dangerously in her chest and her grip on Shizuru's shoulders tightening significantly. Trying to calm her breathing was an impossible feat and she soon gave up on it in favour of focusing on keeping herself upright. She wound her arms around Shizuru's neck and was glad that she had when the hand on her breast started to massage and rub the sensitive area. A quiet moan fell unbidden past her lips and she squeezed her arms around Shizuru in response to the sudden wave of pleasure.
The small moan from the younger girl caused the muscles low in Shizuru's stomach to constrict and she released the skin she was working on to gasp. The exhalation of hot air on Natsuki's neck caused the girl to shiver and her breath to catch in her throat, her right hand tangled into chestnut hair as Shizuru continued to move her hand.
Natsuki had to bite back another moan as a shock of pleasure shot through her system. She no longer had the presence of mind to worry about her legs giving out, her mind was completely focused on the points of her body that were connected to Shizuru, particularly the older girls hand.
Shizuru gave the red mark she had made on Natsuki's neck a final kiss and then lifted her head to look at the younger girl's face.
Natsuki was flushed a deep red, her eyes tightly closed, eyelashes fluttering slightly and eyebrows furrowed. She was panting and Shizuru felt the haze of desire deepen and swirl in her stomach as she revelled in being the cause of such a reaction. Her own breathing was erratic but she paid it no heed and instead lowered her lips to claim Natsuki's once more.
Her hand dropped down from the biker's breast and slipped under the thin material of the girl's hooded top to press against the warm skin of her stomach. She felt the younger girls body shudder against her and smiled in to the kiss.
With Shizuru's hand no longer holding her captive Natsuki used the reprieve to try and clear her mind a little. She tried to push past the distracting feeling of Shizuru's fingertips brushing across the bare skin of her stomach and the searing kiss they were currently engaged in. This became difficult when Shizuru nipped at her lower lip abruptly, pulling a gasp from her throat and a low moan from the older girl.
The action did however make Natsuki realise what had happened. Shizuru was being possessive here, she was staking her claim so to speak and the cause of that behaviour had something to do with Nao. All thoughts of the red head soon disappeared though when Shizuru moved away from her mouth to blow a stream of hot air in to her ear before taking the lobe between her teeth and flicking her tongue across it.
Natsuki was panting again and her mind instantly honed in on the older girl's right hand as it drifted upwards, brushing against her heated skin before it found the hem of her bra and traced along the edge of the material. After Shizuru's hand had felt along the lacy fabric, she trailed her fingers tips up between the valley of her breasts, causing another wave of shivers to pass through the younger girl's body.
Shizuru let her breath cascade across the skin of Natsuki's neck as she felt the swell of the girl's right breast, tracing around it with her fingertips, slowly circling inwards...
RING RING! Natsuki's phone cut through the tension of the room and instantly broke the trance the two girls were in.
Shizuru jumped away from the blunette, her chest heaving and her breathing erratic. Natsuki wasn't in a much better state, her entire face was flushed deep red and her mind was fuzzy and unfocused. Taking deep breaths to steady herself, the biker looked at the Kyoto born, but found that the older girl had her head tilted downwards, chestnut bangs hid her eyes from view and her arms were wrapped around her torso in a self hug. Worry gnawed at Natsuki's gut but she wasn't sure what to say, and her phone was still ringing.
She flicked her eyes over Shizuru's shoulder to the table in the living room, where the ringing sound was emanating from. The awkward air surrounding them became too much and she darted past the older girl to grab her phone and answer it without checking the caller ID. She just hoped to god that it wasn't Nao on the other end.
"Hey Natsuki, I was just wondering if you know what time you'll be back?" Natsuki heaved sigh of relief the second Mai's voice met her ears,
"H-hey um" Her voice was shaky and it sounded somewhat deeper than her usual pitch so she cleared her throat with a cough before continuing, "I-I'm not sure yet" She glanced back at Shizuru, who had yet to move and was still facing away from her.
"Are you ok? You sound funny" Mai sounded slightly concerned, if a little confused and Natsuki felt her cheeks burn even further,
"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired" She lied, knowing that it would be a reasonable excuse,
"Alright. How's the studying going? It was English today right?" Natsuki looked down at the mass of paper on the table and sighed,
"Not too great really. I hate English" Mai chuckled lightly down the phone and Natsuki couldn't help but smile a little in response,
"Well, keep at it, I'm sure Kaichou-san will help you out. Do you want me to make you something to eat or not?" The biker cast her gaze back at Shizuru again with a worried frown,
"No, it's fine"
"Alright, well, good luck with your studies! See you later or tomorrow"
"Yeah, later" Natsuki ended the call and placed the mobile on the table top quietly as she eyed the tawny haired girl. Why was Shizuru just standing there? Shouldn't she be smirking at her or trying to tease her in some way? Or trying to leave the apartment to track down a certain green eyed red head? She took a small step forward,
"Shizuru?" Even though she'd said the girl's name quietly her voice seemed abnormally loud in the otherwise silent apartment and it only seemed to make the awkward air surrounding them worse. The Kyoto born didn't turn to face her at the utterance of her name and Natsuki swallowed while her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What was wrong with Shizuru?
The older girl had her eyes closed and even though she had managed to control her breathing her heart was still hammering in her chest. She couldn't believe that she'd just lost control like that. Her emotions had just overwhelmed her and her desire to make Natsuki hers had taken over.
She had been determined not to be forceful and had promised herself that she wouldn't act that way. And yet, she had. She had let her insecurities over power her better judgement and had acted without much thought as to what Natsuki might think. She felt very much like she had taken advantage of the girl and it only served to bring up painful memories.
She had told herself that she would be gentle and patient with the younger girl but instead she had pinned her to a wall and taken what she wanted, without even stopping to consider that Natsuki might not be comfortable with it. Guilt washed over her and chewed on her lip nervously. What was she meant to do now? How was she supposed to explain her actions to the younger girl?
A hand on her arm made her flinch and she turned to see Natsuki looking at her, worried and confused emeralds flitting across her face before landing on her eyes, staring in to them as if trying to decipher what was going on in her head.
Seeing Natsuki's concern made the guilt she was feeling constrict her heart, why did Natsuki have to be so kind all the time? Unable to hold the intense gaze she shifted her eyes downwards again, directing her sight at the light coloured carpet below.
"Shizuru, what's wrong?" The compassion in the biker's voice made Shizuru's stomach twist, it was not a pleasant feeling. Her mouth felt dry and her heart had yet to calm down enough to stop roaring in her ears. With her head lowered she spoke quietly,
"Kanin na" Natsuki's grip on the older girl's arm tightened slightly at the myriad of emotions in that simple apology. Why was Shizuru apologising though? It didn't make sense; she hadn't done anything wrong so why...?
"What for?" Her voice was quiet and filled with both concern and confusion as her eyes studied what she could see of the Kyoto born's face. Shizuru turned her head further away from her, as if trying to shield herself from the biker's enquiring gaze,
"For disregarding your feelings and only acting on my own" This only served to confuse Natsuki further and her brows furrowed once more. What was that supposed to mean? 'Acting on her own feelings? ...Wait... she doesn't...she can't think that she forced me into that... can she?' The realisation that this could well be the cause of her girlfriend's current demeanour made little to no sense to the biker.
How could Shizuru think that when she hadn't pushed her away? She had quite willingly gone along with it and in actual fact, had quite enjoyed it. Couldn't Shizuru see that? Surely the older girl knew that if she'd wanted her to stop she would have said something. Well, obviously not. Deciding that this had gone on long enough, Natsuki tugged lightly on the girls arm, trying to get the Kyoto born to look at her. When that didn't work she spoke up,
"Shizuru, look at me" Much to her relief her voice was steady and calm. Shizuru still didn't look at her though so she moved in front of the girl and reached out to place her hand on a smooth cheek. She urged Shizuru to lift her head and only when those beautiful crimson eyes met her own did she speak,
"You haven't done anything wrong" She made sure to maintain eye contact, wanting Shizuru to see the honesty in her eyes, "Alright?" Her tone was soft but determined; she wasn't going to let this drop until Shizuru knew that she wasn't bothered in the least by what had happened.
"But..." Shizuru started to protest, her gaze shifting downwards again. A slight nudge by the hand on her cheek made her raise them again though and she took in the affection and determination in those emerald eyes,
"No. You didn't do anything wrong. There's nothing wrong with touching me, okay?" Grateful that she had managed to get the words out without stuttering or blushing horribly she let a soft smile cross her lips. Shizuru seemed to search her eyes for a moment, looking for any trace of uncertainty or dishonesty perhaps. Natsuki didn't mind, since she knew her words to be true, and allowed Shizuru all the time she needed to feel secure about the situation.
Eventually Shizuru seemed to relax, and Natsuki took that as her cue to step forward and embrace the girl, wrapping her arms around the slender body in what she hoped was a comforting hug. Shizuru buried her head in the biker's neck and returned the embrace.
With the guilt slowly leaving her she felt the familiar surge of another emotion in her chest and held on to the younger girl a little tighter,
"Kanin na Natsuki, I just... I love you so much" The words were quiet, barely above a whisper, but the emotion in them, coupled with the tight hold Shizuru had on her body nearly knocked the wind out of the blunette. She realised then just how important words could be. Those words clearly expressed just how much Shizuru cared for her, just how much she meant to the older girl.
The meaning behind those words had sent Shizuru to the brink of insanity and back, had turned her in to a completely different person and made her so much more powerful than Natsuki would ever have thought possible. Three simple words that could convey so much when spoken with such emotion behind them.
Natsuki had never been one to use words to express herself. She usually found that her attempts at doing so were clumsy at best unless she was trying to convey anger or irritation. She had always been a stern believer in actions speaking louder than words but...she was beginning to see that sometimes words were not only necessary but sometimes a better way to properly express yourself. Actions could be interpreted however the recipient wanted, whereas words were more explanatory and left less room for the wrong interpretation.
With that in mind she started trying to articulate a response to Shizuru's verbal admission of love. Unfortunately, having come to an understanding that words were important didn't make it any easier for her to utter those three particular words that she knew the Kyoto born needed to hear and she cursed her inability to push through that.
Shizuru hadn't been expecting the biker to reply and as such was completely unaware of the battle Natsuki was having within her own mind. She herself was trying to gather her courage for the conversation she was about to initiate. She needed to get this off her chest, and she knew that it had to be done now before it completely took over her thoughts and made her do something she would later regret.
"Natsuki?" She was thankful that her voice did not give away how nervous or unsure she was, "Can I talk to you about something please?" She spoke quietly, her head still buried in the crook of younger girl's neck. She felt Natsuki tense slightly but she soon relaxed again and spoke quietly,
"Um, sure" A little annoyed with herself for letting the chance to voice her own feelings pass, Natsuki pulled out of the embrace when she felt Shizuru's arms loosen around her. The Kyoto born smiled tentatively at her and the blunette was a little shocked at how vulnerable the ex-kaichou looked.
Shizuru took the younger girl's hand in her own and pulled her gently towards the couch, wanting to sit down while she expressed her current concerns to the girl. Natsuki felt her worry returning as they sat down; Shizuru seemed nervous and instead of looking at her was directing her gaze at the low coffee table in front of the couch. She waited patiently for the older girl to start talking, the silence of the room pressing down on them and creating a tense atmosphere.
Noticing that her hand was still being held loosely in Shizuru's she moved it so that her fingers were threaded through the other girls and squeezed gently, which seemed to give Shizuru the courage she needed to start talking,
"Why do you like me Natsuki?" The younger girl tensed up at the question, having not been expecting it at all and also not knowing how to answer it,
"What?" Shizuru continued to stare at the coffee table while she spoke,
"I do not like motorbikes or video games. All I ever seem to do is embarrass you and I'm sure that my polite mannerisms and behaviour annoy you. I'm constantly scolding you for insignificant things. I'm not happy go lucky like Mai-san and I'm not exciting like Yuuki-san. So, what do you like about me?" The last part was basically the gist of what she getting at with her other statements. It all boiled down to the fact that she thought herself boring in comparison to someone like Nao. Natsuki was the type of person who easily tired of things and she was scared that the younger girl would realise one day that she was not exciting enough for her.
"I..." Natsuki faltered, she couldn't believe that Shizuru actually thought those things mattered. She needed to reassure the older girl but her brain was refusing to provide her with the words she needed to do so.
"Please. I need to know..." Shizuru looked at her, her eyes pleading and intense, the blunette's mouth went dry as she scrambled for something to say. She was once again reminded of her ineptness when it came to words and she struggled to open her mouth and say something. Anything. "Natsuki?"
Natsuki closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath to calm herself. She could do this; it wasn't a difficult question really was it? There were plenty of reasons that she liked Shizuru, all she had to do was put those things in to words,
"I..." 'Damn it Kuga! This is important! Stop being such a child and tell her!' She breathed deeply again and lifted her eyes to Shizuru's still anxious ones, "You're the only person that I feel... completely comfortable around and...You make me smile and laugh, even if it usually means I end up laughing at myself" She smirked feeling a bit more confident as the words flowed past her lips "You're the kindest person I know and you've helped me through a lot of shit over the years. I don't know who or where I would be without you Shizuru" The honesty of her words was a little startling to her own ears but she acknowledged that they were indeed true. In all fairness she would probably be sat in dingy bar in the middle of downtown Fuuka right now had Shizuru not befriended her way back when. She continued her speech,
"It might sound weird since I always seem to complain and scowl when we spend time together, but I have the most fun when I'm with you. I feel happy when I know that you're happy. You tease me mercilessly but if I get to see one of your real smiles I can live with it" She smiled softly as the nervousness in Shizuru's eyes started to fade in to affection "All that stuff about you not liking bikes or not being like Mai or Nao... they don't matter to me. I wouldn't want you to be like them anyway because then you wouldn't be you" She squeezed Shizuru's hand with her own lightly "I just... there's so many things that I like about you Shizuru...I guess I just like you because, well...you're you" She ended lamely, but Shizuru didn't seem to mind, in fact she appeared to be pretty happy,
"Ookini Natsuki" A light blush adorned the ex-Kaichou's cheeks and the blunette smiled widely at the older girl,
"No problem" Natsuki was just eternally grateful that she had apparently managed to say something right, there had been a high possibility of her messing that up. The relief she felt soon gave way to the desire to say something else to the older girl, something that would almost certainly be the best way to get rid of any lingering insecurities. At least for the time being anyway.
Shizuru felt so much lighter than she had moments before that she almost forgot why she had been feeling so insecure in the first place. The sight of the yellowish bruise on Natsuki's face instantly reminded her though and felt the nagging voice in the back of mind telling her to say something to the younger girl about it. Not about the bruise itself, but about the person who had caused it.
"So, Natsuki doesn't think that I am boring? She wouldn't prefer to spend her time with...Yuuki-san?" Natsuki seemed a little taken aback by her question but a look of understanding slowly crept across her face,
"Is that what this is really about?" Shizuru nodded slightly and chewed the inside of her lip absently as she waited for Natsuki's answer. She was pretty sure what the answer would be, especially after what the younger girl had just said, but...there was still that little bit of insecurity in her mind. Natsuki smiled softly at her again,
"Nao's my friend, and while I do enjoy spending time with her...occasionally" This managed to bring a small smile to the Kyoto born's face "I would rather be with you. Being with Nao might be 'exciting' in that we're usually doing something stupid or braking rules, but that doesn't mean that I find you boring. I said that I had the most fun when I'm with you right?" She waited for Shizuru to nod before continuing "How could I be having fun if you were boring? And, I would rather spend my time with you because..." 'Now or never, don't screw this up Kuga' "I love you"
Shizuru felt all the air leave her lungs and her heart make a serious attempt at jumping out of her chest. The honesty in the girl's voice and eyes left no room to question her sincerity. The second those words met her ears it felt like a ten ton weight had been lifted from her shoulders, she felt light, and she wasn't going to let her thoughts weigh her back down. Not now. The pure joy she felt overwhelmed her and she felt tears sting her eyes and a lump form in her throat.
Natsuki saw the first tear roll down Shizuru's face and felt a jolt of panic shoot through her, until she focused on the older girl's brilliant crimson eyes. She'd never seen them so happy, so bright and full of life, and she had put that there hadn't she?
She smiled and reached up to wipe a tear from the girl's cheek with the pad of her thumb. As she continued to stare in to her eyes, she got the sudden urge to do something that Shizuru had done to her a few days earlier. Without stopping to over think like she usually would have, she leant forward and gently placed her lips on the older girl's forehead in a show of affection.
Shizuru sobbed at the unexpected, but incredibly sweet gesture. She found herself gripping the front of the bikers top with one hand while the other tried to wrap around younger girl as much as it could in their current position. Thankfully, Natsuki manoeuvred herself to make this easier, and soon Shizuru found her head leaning against the bikers shoulder while fingers tenderly stroked through her hair as she continued to sob lightly.
Natsuki was practically cradling the older girl, and although it was certainly strange, and at first a little unsettling, to see her always strong friend cry like this, she didn't mind at all. She knew that the tears just represented how much her words meant to Shizuru, how much she had needed to hear them. And how much Shizuru loved her in return.
Natsuki continued to rub the older girl's back soothingly and stroke her fingers through silky hair. Shizuru's sobs slowly became less frequent and her grip on the bikers top began to loosen as she calmed down. She felt vulnerable and it took a lot of effort for her to not pull her mask up and hide it from the younger girl.
She managed it though, she would allow Natsuki to see her like that, only Natsuki. With that in mind she lifted her head from the bikers shoulder so that she could peer into those emerald eyes that she loved so much. The soft smile on Natsuki's lips made her heart flutter and she couldn't help but lean in to capture them in a sweet kiss.
When she pulled back she saw that a light blush had risen to Natsuki's cheeks and smiled affectionately,
"I love you too" Natsuki understood that this was a delayed response to her own utterances of those words, but she found them to be entirely unnecessary. Shizuru had no need to voice her love; it was written clearly on her face. She supposed that perhaps Shizuru just needed to say it though, she'd been unable to do so for so long, so it probably felt pretty good to be able to voice how she felt without fearing her reaction.
As she stared in to the watery eyes of the older girl she didn't think she had ever seen a more striking sight in her life. The openness of Kyoto born's expression was mind blowing and she quickly decided that Shizuru was even more beautiful when she let her emotions show like this. It made her heart swell and her stomach flip to know that she was probably the only person outside of Shizuru's family to have seen her like this.
She returned Shizuru's smile and then pulled her back in to their embrace, though she now leant back against the couch arm so that she could stay there as long as the older girl wanted her to without getting uncomfortable. Shizuru was more than happy about this, all she wanted to do in that moment was be close to Natsuki, and being held in the girl's protective embrace felt perfect.
They remained in that position for some time and Natsuki soon realised that the Kyoto born had drifted off to sleep, probably emotionally exhausted due to the past hour or so's events. She was feeling pretty tired herself but her gaze landed on the table a few feet away and she realised that she really couldn't afford to sleep her time away.
Being careful, so as not to wake the slumbering girl, the biker slowly slid out from underneath Shizuru until she was standing next to the couch. She took a moment to look down at her girlfriend, her hair splayed out slightly across the fabric of the couch and her face relaxed and strikingly beautiful. She brushed her fingers through bangs of chestnut hair and placed a light kiss to the girl's temple. With one last smile, she turned and made her way over to the table to continue her studies.
Shizuru tugged the sheets around her up a little more so that she could snuggle her face in to the soft material. She murmured something sleepily and tried to bury her head in to her pillow...only there was no pillow...and her bed was not as comfy as it usually was.
As conscious thought returned to her she realised that she wasn't in her bed at all, but on her couch...which was most definitely as uncomfortable as Natsuki had always complained about it being. Then she remembered how she had fallen asleep and sat up abruptly, her eyes bleary from sleep as she scanned the area around her.
After rubbing her eyes she noted that it was dark, a dim blue light the only thing illuminating the room from the small window behind her TV. She quickly found what, or rather who, she was looking for. Or at least she presumed it to be Natsuki anyway. She could only see the girl silhouette, slumped over the table with her head on the flat surface.
The Kyoto born quickly realised that Natsuki must have left her to sleep while she continued to study and complete her homework. And apparently the biker had placed a sheet over her at some point while she slept, which made her smile at the consideration her girlfriend had shown her. She slowly rose from the couch and padded over to the younger girl, feeling a little guilty that she had slept while she was meant to be helping Natsuki with her homework.
As she reached the table she let her eyes scan the mess of papers on its surface and noted that Natsuki had managed to get most of the sheets filled in. She picked up the nearest sheet and read it as best she could in the dim light. The biker seemed to have done a pretty good job on it in actuality and Shizuru felt a little proud that her delinquent best friend had apparently been paying attention in class.
She spotted Natsuki's phone beside the girl on the table and pressed the large button on the front of it to illuminate the screen. She squinted against the bright light but managed to make out the time before it dimmed again; 3:47. She'd slept the entire night away apparently.
The younger girl twitched lightly in her sleep and Shizuru decided that it would probably be a good idea for them to both move to her bed. She highly doubted that sleeping in a chair as Natsuki was would be particularly comfortable and she was sure that the blunette's body would complain bitterly in the morning.
She placed her hand on the girl's shoulder and gently shook her,
"Natsuki" Her voice was quiet and still held remnants of her sleep, making it sound a little husky "Natsuki" She repeated when the younger girl began to move a little,
"Nhhh" Shizuru resisted the urge to giggle at her girlfriend's obvious disapproval of being woken up,
"Natsuki come on, you can't sleep there" Slowly but surely the biker began to wake up and she finally lifted her head a few moments later,
"Shizuru?" Her voice was thick with sleep and she sounded a little confused, which Shizuru found to be utterly adorable.
"Come on" She held her hand out towards the younger girl, who stared at it for a second before taking it in her own and standing up. The Kyoto born smiled, though she doubted that Natsuki could see it, and started walking towards her bedroom, suppressing a yawn as she did so.
When they reached the room Shizuru let go of Natsuki's hand and quickly went about changing in to some sleepwear. She heard the opening and closing of a draw behind her and assumed that Natsuki was doing the same. Her mind was too foggy with sleep for her to even consider trying to sneak a peek and as soon as she was done changing she flung the duvet back and practically fell on to her bed, snuggling in to her pillow.
She felt the bed dip slightly as Natsuki joined her and soon felt the duvet being pulled over her body, the cool material soon warming against her body. She released a content sigh as she relaxed in to the comfort the bed provided. It both surprised and delighted her when she felt a pair of strong yet slender arms wrap around her waist and pull her backwards to nestle against a warm body. She snuggled backwards in to the younger girl and let her right arm and hand lay over the other girl's as a lazy smile graced her lips.
She heard a faint murmur from behind her and presumed that the younger girl was probably trying to say goodnight to her, she responded with a happy sigh before giving in to the lull and drifting off to sleep.
(1) – The legal minimum age to drive in Japan is 18 as far as I'm aware.
AN: I can't believe that I've written 100,000 words for this fic and it's only on chapter 10 ¬.¬ oh well.
...There was a lot of angst in this one huh? I'm not happy with this chapter really but I'm certainly not going to bother even trying to re-write it; it would take too long and I'm far too lazy :P
Next chapter will finally be Shizuru moving to uni (this was meant to happen 2 chapters ago XD) lol which of course means that we get to meet her flatmates ;) And see Natsuki's reaction of course –evil laugh- I've been dying to write the scenes with the flatmates for a while now so I'm glad I'm almost there!
Also, expect a change in rating fairly soon ;^_^
Thanks for reading, reviews are always nice and I'll hopefully see you next time,
~IlliterateKoi~